S1 E4
Status
Ended
Network
CBS
SEASON
VIEW ALL EPISODE

Season 1  "If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap"  1x4

Aired 18 years ago - Oct 13, 2003

Charlie is very unhappy with his housekeepers' decision to quit, after she experiences Alan's demanding ways. Alan then offers to take on the role of housekeeper, but this situation doesn't work at all. So Alan decides to get the housekeeper to come back. Before Alan leaves, he puts Charlie in charge of getting Jake ready for a dinner with his mother and grandparents. Charlie also tries to get Rose to move on, and date other men. He finds both situations to be bigger challenges then he first thought.

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Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 1
Okay, so before you got up, Berta started the coffee and got you your paper?
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 2
Want a glass of peanut butter?
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 3
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 4
I'm sorry. I'll try to be more transparent.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 5
Not you. That girl that's been stalking me.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 6
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 7
So, maybe you should find someone who can give you the attention you want.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 8
can take it.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 9
That seems kind of forward, don't you think?
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 10
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 11
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 12
Gee, I'm sorry, Charlie. But they don't make chocolate Pledge.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 13
That's not going to help me now, is it?
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 14
If I can't write my chocolate song, I'm going to take a nap.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 15
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 16
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 17
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 18
Don't blame me. I tried to make it work.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 19
But since you obviously can't live without her,
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 20
Your entire life depends on this woman and you know nothing about her.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 21
Steven Tyler from Aerosmith. 4456 Malibu Canyon Road.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 22
I'm trying desperately to reconcile with my wife,
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 23
-Hi. -Hello.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 24
I asked Andy out, and he said yes.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 25
To roll around naked on your bed.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 26
-What the hell happened to you? -You know what else is complicated?
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 27
Kid, I'm a piano player. What do you think?
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 28
But my bike's still broken. I think you made it worse.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 29
Me, too strong? What do you mean?
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 30
So, I'm going to put on something a little less...
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 31
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 32
Okay. Thank you. Bye-bye.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 33
My marriage is collapsing, my business is slow.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 34
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 35
Washing my bike chain. It's real dirty.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 36
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 37
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 38
She's really a delight.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 39
Sure. But when I do it, you just ignore me.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 40
You didn't tell him to rinse.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 41
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 42
-What? -I'm a chiropractor.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 43
I'm not in the mood, Jake.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 44
Jake, dude, I'm right on the edge.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 45
What? No. Sure you can.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 46
-Now go out and have a great time. -But...
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 47
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 48
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 49
God, that feels so good.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 50
I'm a big fan.

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 2
Want a glass of peanut butter?
#2
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 3 #3 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 4
I'm sorry. I'll try to be more transparent.
#4
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 5
Not you. That girl that's been stalking me.
#5
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 6 #6 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 7
So, maybe you should find someone who can give you the attention you want.
#7
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 8
can take it.
#8
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 9
That seems kind of forward, don't you think?
#9
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 10 #10 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 11 #11 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 12
Gee, I'm sorry, Charlie. But they don't make chocolate Pledge.
#12
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 13
That's not going to help me now, is it?
#13
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 14
If I can't write my chocolate song, I'm going to take a nap.
#14
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 15 #15 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 16 #16 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 17 #17 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 18
Don't blame me. I tried to make it work.
#18
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 19
But since you obviously can't live without her,
#19
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 20
Your entire life depends on this woman and you know nothing about her.
#20
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 21
Steven Tyler from Aerosmith. 4456 Malibu Canyon Road.
#21
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 22
I'm trying desperately to reconcile with my wife,
#22
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 23
-Hi. -Hello.
#23
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 24
I asked Andy out, and he said yes.
#24
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 25
To roll around naked on your bed.
#25
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 26
-What the hell happened to you? -You know what else is complicated?
#26
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 27
Kid, I'm a piano player. What do you think?
#27
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 28
But my bike's still broken. I think you made it worse.
#28
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 29
Me, too strong? What do you mean?
#29
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 30
So, I'm going to put on something a little less...
#30
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 31 #31 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 32
Okay. Thank you. Bye-bye.
#32
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 33
My marriage is collapsing, my business is slow.
#33
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 34 #34 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 35
Washing my bike chain. It's real dirty.
#35
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 36 #36 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 37 #37 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 38
She's really a delight.
#38
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 39
Sure. But when I do it, you just ignore me.
#39
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 40
You didn't tell him to rinse.
#40
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 41 #41 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 42
-What? -I'm a chiropractor.
#42
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 43
I'm not in the mood, Jake.
#43
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 44
Jake, dude, I'm right on the edge.
#44
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 45
What? No. Sure you can.
#45
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 46
-Now go out and have a great time. -But...
#46
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 47 #47 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 48 #48 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 49
God, that feels so good.
#49
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 50
I'm a big fan.
#50