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Two and a Half Men

S1 E21
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CBS
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Season 1  "No Sniffing, No Wowing"  1x21

Aired 19 years ago - May 03, 2004

Charlie jeopardizes Alan's divorce settlement by sleeping with his attorney, Laura.

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Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 1
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 2
Right on.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 3
Seeing as how you're my brother's lawyer and all,
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 4
-That's fine. I don't care. -You are very special.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 5
-Man, this just keeps getting hotter. -But I need you to do something for me.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 6
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 7
-You're going to leave? -I'm done.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 8
Charlie, go.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 9
I don't want to watch TV. I want to play my Gameboy, and it's in your room.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 10
or your early-afternoon nap?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 11
Judith is demanding half of my book collection.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 12
Then one night, maybe someone goes and gets them back.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 13
What's that?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 14
I'm making a living, Charlie.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 15
-I'm on the phone with Laura. -Say hi for me.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 16
-What happened to the TV? -There's nothing dirty on.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 17
If the right lawyer gets their hands on him, they could really make him sweat.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 18
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 19
-Where's my Gameboy? -I'll buy you a new one.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 20
You've gotta be kidding.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 21
And she wants you to take Jake out and buy him a new Gameboy.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 22
that would negatively influence my nephew.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 23
I do okay.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 24
Okay, let me just say here that I love Jake
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 25
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 26
Okay, yes.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 27
-Woman in the shower? -Don't help them.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 28
Okay, now that's a totally different... Whoa, man!
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 29
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 30
Look, Stuart, we both know you're on a fishing expedition here, right?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 31
Oh, God!
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 32
but we still need to finalize the property settlement.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 33
That was the only thing in my bedroom that moved when I touched it.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 34
So let's just keep the squishing to a minimum.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 35
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 36
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 37
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 38
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 39
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 40
Nothing. Not a thing.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 41
No, of course not, Alan. I'm a professional.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 42
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 43
Okay, Laura, look.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 44
Just make yourself at home, Crystal. That's the ocean.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 45
You are going to be very sorry, Charlie Harper.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 46
Actually, our appraisers came in at $16,500.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 47
I understand there's a dispute over the massage chair.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 48
-Okay, what else would you like? -What else?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 49
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 50
Yeah, like every other time Judith screwed me.

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 2
Right on.
#2 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 3
Seeing as how you're my brother's lawyer and all,
#3 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 4
-That's fine. I don't care. -You are very special.
#4 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 5
-Man, this just keeps getting hotter. -But I need you to do something for me.
#5 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 6 #6 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 7
-You're going to leave? -I'm done.
#7 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 8
Charlie, go.
#8 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 9
I don't want to watch TV. I want to play my Gameboy, and it's in your room.
#9 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 10
or your early-afternoon nap?
#10 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 11
Judith is demanding half of my book collection.
#11 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 12
Then one night, maybe someone goes and gets them back.
#12 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 13
What's that?
#13 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 14
I'm making a living, Charlie.
#14 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 15
-I'm on the phone with Laura. -Say hi for me.
#15 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 16
-What happened to the TV? -There's nothing dirty on.
#16 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 17
If the right lawyer gets their hands on him, they could really make him sweat.
#17 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 18 #18 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 19
-Where's my Gameboy? -I'll buy you a new one.
#19 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 20
You've gotta be kidding.
#20 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 21
And she wants you to take Jake out and buy him a new Gameboy.
#21 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 22
that would negatively influence my nephew.
#22 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 23
I do okay.
#23 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 24
Okay, let me just say here that I love Jake
#24 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 25 #25 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 26
Okay, yes.
#26 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 27
-Woman in the shower? -Don't help them.
#27 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 28
Okay, now that's a totally different... Whoa, man!
#28 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 29 #29 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 30
Look, Stuart, we both know you're on a fishing expedition here, right?
#30 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 31
Oh, God!
#31 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 32
but we still need to finalize the property settlement.
#32 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 33
That was the only thing in my bedroom that moved when I touched it.
#33 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 34
So let's just keep the squishing to a minimum.
#34 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 35 #35 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 36 #36 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 37 #37 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 38 #38 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 39 #39 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 40
Nothing. Not a thing.
#40 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 41
No, of course not, Alan. I'm a professional.
#41 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 42 #42 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 43
Okay, Laura, look.
#43 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 44
Just make yourself at home, Crystal. That's the ocean.
#44 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 45
You are going to be very sorry, Charlie Harper.
#45 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 46
Actually, our appraisers came in at $16,500.
#46 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 47
I understand there's a dispute over the massage chair.
#47 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 48
-Okay, what else would you like? -What else?
#48 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 49 #49 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 50
Yeah, like every other time Judith screwed me.
#50