S1 E2
Status
Ended
Network
CBS
SEASON
VIEW ALL EPISODE

Season 1  "Big Flappy Bastards"  1x2

Aired 18 years ago - Sep 29, 2003

While spending time with Jake, Charlie finds it hard to enforce rules that Alan has set out for him. It gets to the point were Jake lures a flock of sea gulls into his room, and Charlie gets very upset. This prompts Jake to try and get Charlie to forgive him. Alan starts doing chores for Judith, in the hopes of them getting back together. During one of the tasks, Judith kisses Alan, leading him to believe that things will get back to the way they once were.

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Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 1
Laundry? Are you barking mad?
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 2
This sock is soaking wet.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 3
All right. I put Jake to bed, I folded the laundry,
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 4
Alan, your wife threw you out.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 5
It's good. It leaves the door open for, you know, reconciliation.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 6
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 7
And you're not supposed to be watching TV.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 8
-Go to bed, Jake. -Okay.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 9
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 10
Hey, I'm watching that.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 11
He obviously knows me better than you do.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 12
I mean it. Give me the remote and go to your room.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 13
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 14
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 15
Yeah, right.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 16
And another thing. Were you on the deck feeding the seagulls again?
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 17
because we get all kinds of bugs and crap flying in the house.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 18
-Was he watching TV? -No.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 19
The grocery store.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 20
-Alan. -I have to.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 21
Great. I'll see you later.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 22
You know nothing about commitment and responsibility to a relationship.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 23
Because if you did, I have two words for you.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 24
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 25
-Sure. -Thank you.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 26
I know when I'm being used, Judith, and not in a fun way.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 27
I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 28
-What you got there? -Just a little bread.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 29
You have to put $1 in the swear jar, you said "bastards."
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 30
I don't want to talk to you right now.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 31
I told you, don't feed the damn things. I told you, don't leave the windows open.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 32
No, Phyllis, I wanted to talk to somebody about seagulls.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 33
Look, I need somebody who can come over with a net or something.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 34
Hi, Phyllis.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 35
Neither will you.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 36
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 37
You know what? Jake and I may be out of here sooner than you think.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 38
This wasn't the kiss of a woman who just wanted her garbage disposal unclogged.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 39
Hey, Uncle Charlie, you want to play some sock golf?
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 40
screaming, crapping birds in his house.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 41
You just have to give them a little time and a little space.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 42
I went down to the bait shop and asked them what seagulls like to eat.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 43
Hey, Uncle Charlie, I made this for you.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 44
-Can I help? -Nope.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 45
Fine. I forgive him.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 46
We go in there and start throwing this stuff out the windows.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 47
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 48
I'm gonna get a drywall guy in there and seal off that room.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 49
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 50
You already took away all the good stuff.
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 51

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 2
This sock is soaking wet.
#2
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 3
All right. I put Jake to bed, I folded the laundry,
#3
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 4
Alan, your wife threw you out.
#4
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 5
It's good. It leaves the door open for, you know, reconciliation.
#5
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 6 #6 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 7
And you're not supposed to be watching TV.
#7
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 8
-Go to bed, Jake. -Okay.
#8
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 9 #9 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 10
Hey, I'm watching that.
#10
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 11
He obviously knows me better than you do.
#11
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 12
I mean it. Give me the remote and go to your room.
#12
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 13 #13 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 14 #14 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 15
Yeah, right.
#15
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 16
And another thing. Were you on the deck feeding the seagulls again?
#16
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 17
because we get all kinds of bugs and crap flying in the house.
#17
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 18
-Was he watching TV? -No.
#18
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 19
The grocery store.
#19
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 20
-Alan. -I have to.
#20
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 21
Great. I'll see you later.
#21
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 22
You know nothing about commitment and responsibility to a relationship.
#22
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 23
Because if you did, I have two words for you.
#23
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 24 #24 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 25
-Sure. -Thank you.
#25
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 26
I know when I'm being used, Judith, and not in a fun way.
#26
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 27
I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for.
#27
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 28
-What you got there? -Just a little bread.
#28
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 29
You have to put $1 in the swear jar, you said "bastards."
#29
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 30
I don't want to talk to you right now.
#30
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 31
I told you, don't feed the damn things. I told you, don't leave the windows open.
#31
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 32
No, Phyllis, I wanted to talk to somebody about seagulls.
#32
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 33
Look, I need somebody who can come over with a net or something.
#33
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 34
Hi, Phyllis.
#34
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 35
Neither will you.
#35
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 36 #36 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 37
You know what? Jake and I may be out of here sooner than you think.
#37
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 38
This wasn't the kiss of a woman who just wanted her garbage disposal unclogged.
#38
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 39
Hey, Uncle Charlie, you want to play some sock golf?
#39
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 40
screaming, crapping birds in his house.
#40
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 41
You just have to give them a little time and a little space.
#41
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 42
I went down to the bait shop and asked them what seagulls like to eat.
#42
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 43
Hey, Uncle Charlie, I made this for you.
#43
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 44
-Can I help? -Nope.
#44
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 45
Fine. I forgive him.
#45
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 46
We go in there and start throwing this stuff out the windows.
#46
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 47 #47 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 48
I'm gonna get a drywall guy in there and seal off that room.
#48
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 49 #49 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 50
You already took away all the good stuff.
#50
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 51 #51