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Two and a Half Men

S1 E16
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Season 1  "That Was Saliva, Alan"  1x16

Aired 20 years ago - Feb 16, 2004

Frankie tells Charlie and Alan why she and her daughter are on the run; Frankie's daughter has a crush on Jake.

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Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 1
And ever since, his parents have been trying to take Joanie away from me.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 2
might not have helped your case.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 3
- Absolutely. - Thank you.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 4
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 5
Now I've gotten to know her and I want her to stay.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 6
- Second. - Really?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 7
You know, Joanie, you are just as pretty as your mom.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 8
and stick it up your "white bread, country club,
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 9
Well, I got news for you, lady. The term is white trash.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 10
Yeah, right. I'm sorry. There's just been a lot of stuff going on.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 11
Charlie, behave yourself.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 12
If he can just keep that attitude for another 30 years, he's gold.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 13
- I just hate to put you out like this. - It is not a problem.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 14
It'll be like when we were kids.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 15
- I think maybe she has a crush on you. - Yeah, that's what's annoying.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 16
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 17
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 18
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 19
- Yeah. - No, don't cry.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 20
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 21
It's been so long since anybody's touched me.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 22
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 23
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 24
How much did you see?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 25
- That was saliva, Alan. - No, seriously.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 26
Good night, Alan.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 27
Wait, what about... Okay, go on.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 28
My way, they have a good time, you have a good time, nobody suffers.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 29
over you, and you can't deal with it.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 30
than the inebriated exchange of bodily fluids.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 31
- Alan? - What?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 32
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 33
- We're playing hide-and-seek. - I don't know where he's hiding.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 34
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 35
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 36
So, I thought maybe today, you, me, and the kids might go do something fun.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 37
- Morning. - Morning.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 38
- Try superfluous. - Alan.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 39
- Charlie, you're a great guy. - No, please, stop.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 40
- What? - Nothing. Just having a really good day.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 41
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 42
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 43
- You're not jealous, are you? - No. Dumbfounded, maybe.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 44
Okay, let me put it this way, my brother is crazy about you.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 45
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 46
Great guy and a kiss on the cheek.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 47
- The kids are having a great time. - This is a wonderful idea, Alan. Thank you.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 48
No, not always.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 49
and since neither one of us really has our own place...
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 50
Yes, you've got a lot of baggage, but it's nothing I can't get to the curb.

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 2
might not have helped your case.
#2 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 3
- Absolutely. - Thank you.
#3 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 4 #4 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 5
Now I've gotten to know her and I want her to stay.
#5 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 6
- Second. - Really?
#6 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 7
You know, Joanie, you are just as pretty as your mom.
#7 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 8
and stick it up your "white bread, country club,
#8 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 9
Well, I got news for you, lady. The term is white trash.
#9 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 10
Yeah, right. I'm sorry. There's just been a lot of stuff going on.
#10 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 11
Charlie, behave yourself.
#11 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 12
If he can just keep that attitude for another 30 years, he's gold.
#12 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 13
- I just hate to put you out like this. - It is not a problem.
#13 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 14
It'll be like when we were kids.
#14 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 15
- I think maybe she has a crush on you. - Yeah, that's what's annoying.
#15 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 16 #16 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 17 #17 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 18 #18 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 19
- Yeah. - No, don't cry.
#19 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 20 #20 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 21
It's been so long since anybody's touched me.
#21 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 22 #22 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 23 #23 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 24
How much did you see?
#24 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 25
- That was saliva, Alan. - No, seriously.
#25 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 26
Good night, Alan.
#26 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 27
Wait, what about... Okay, go on.
#27 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 28
My way, they have a good time, you have a good time, nobody suffers.
#28 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 29
over you, and you can't deal with it.
#29 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 30
than the inebriated exchange of bodily fluids.
#30 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 31
- Alan? - What?
#31 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 32 #32 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 33
- We're playing hide-and-seek. - I don't know where he's hiding.
#33 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 34
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
#34 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 35 #35 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 36
So, I thought maybe today, you, me, and the kids might go do something fun.
#36 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 37
- Morning. - Morning.
#37 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 38
- Try superfluous. - Alan.
#38 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 39
- Charlie, you're a great guy. - No, please, stop.
#39 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 40
- What? - Nothing. Just having a really good day.
#40 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 41 #41 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 42 #42 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 43
- You're not jealous, are you? - No. Dumbfounded, maybe.
#43 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 44
Okay, let me put it this way, my brother is crazy about you.
#44 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 45 #45 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 46
Great guy and a kiss on the cheek.
#46 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 47
- The kids are having a great time. - This is a wonderful idea, Alan. Thank you.
#47 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 48
No, not always.
#48 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 49
and since neither one of us really has our own place...
#49 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 50
Yes, you've got a lot of baggage, but it's nothing I can't get to the curb.
#50