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Two and a Half Men

S1 E14
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CBS
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Season 1  "I Can't Afford Hyenas"  1x14

Aired 20 years ago - Feb 02, 2004

Stan, Charlie's accountant, tries to explain Charlie's financial woes to him.

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Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 1
Charlie, why haven't you been paying your bills?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 2
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 3
Here we are.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 4
Just don't rip the tape, they check.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 5
And they tell me the bills haven't been paid in four months.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 6
What? How did I run out of money?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 7
This little hole
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 8
with a healthy reserve for emergencies.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 9
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 10
But when the cash flow starts to slow down,
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 11
What I don't understand is why you didn't warn him this was happening.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 12
I thought you were the smart one.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 13
This has been a blast. Don't get me wrong,
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 14
It was great meeting you, sport. Ciao.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 15
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 16
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 17
First thing is, we stop paying your accountant.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 18
Garden? You mean the two potted palms on the deck?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 19
That's really cool. I get every sporting event in the world.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 20
Okay, we can cut back to basic cable.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 21
I got a great deal 'cause she didn't want to carry it on the bus.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 22
That. That's women and gambling.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 23
The way I see it, you're either gonna have to slash expenses,
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 24
What would you think about going to Mom for a short-term loan?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 25
but all my money's going to my former wife, my former house,
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 26
Whatever. I'll cut back, like you said.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 27
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 28
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 29
cheese?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 30
Okay. Seek and ye shall find.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 31
You can't quit poverty, Charlie.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 32
I want my life back.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 33
Who's the favorite?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 34
Anybody want a snack?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 35
I threw in some of those garlic puffs you like.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 36
- What are you planning on tipping him? - I don't know.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 37
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 38
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 39
- Here. - No, keep it.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 40
but, of course, you couldn't tell 'cause none of their faces were moving.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 41
You're gay? You're on drugs?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 42
I suppose. A screwdriver might be nice.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 43
You'll just suck it up, pay her back in a couple of months and that'll be that.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 44
- Don't ask her. - I won't.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 45
and I probably should have been paying closer attention to my expenses.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 46
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 47
No more need be said.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 48
- Charlie, what are you... - No.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 49
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 50

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 2 #2 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 3
Here we are.
#3 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 4
Just don't rip the tape, they check.
#4 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 5
And they tell me the bills haven't been paid in four months.
#5 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 6
What? How did I run out of money?
#6 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 7
This little hole
#7 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 8
with a healthy reserve for emergencies.
#8 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 9 #9 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 10
But when the cash flow starts to slow down,
#10 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 11
What I don't understand is why you didn't warn him this was happening.
#11 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 12
I thought you were the smart one.
#12 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 13
This has been a blast. Don't get me wrong,
#13 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 14
It was great meeting you, sport. Ciao.
#14 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 15 #15 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 16 #16 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 17
First thing is, we stop paying your accountant.
#17 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 18
Garden? You mean the two potted palms on the deck?
#18 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 19
That's really cool. I get every sporting event in the world.
#19 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 20
Okay, we can cut back to basic cable.
#20 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 21
I got a great deal 'cause she didn't want to carry it on the bus.
#21 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 22
That. That's women and gambling.
#22 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 23
The way I see it, you're either gonna have to slash expenses,
#23 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 24
What would you think about going to Mom for a short-term loan?
#24 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 25
but all my money's going to my former wife, my former house,
#25 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 26
Whatever. I'll cut back, like you said.
#26 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 27 #27 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 28 #28 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 29
cheese?
#29 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 30
Okay. Seek and ye shall find.
#30 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 31
You can't quit poverty, Charlie.
#31 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 32
I want my life back.
#32 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 33
Who's the favorite?
#33 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 34
Anybody want a snack?
#34 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 35
I threw in some of those garlic puffs you like.
#35 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 36
- What are you planning on tipping him? - I don't know.
#36 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 37 #37 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 38 #38 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 39
- Here. - No, keep it.
#39 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 40
but, of course, you couldn't tell 'cause none of their faces were moving.
#40 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 41
You're gay? You're on drugs?
#41 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 42
I suppose. A screwdriver might be nice.
#42 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 43
You'll just suck it up, pay her back in a couple of months and that'll be that.
#43 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 44
- Don't ask her. - I won't.
#44 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 45
and I probably should have been paying closer attention to my expenses.
#45 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 46 #46 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 47
No more need be said.
#47 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 48
- Charlie, what are you... - No.
#48 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 49 #49 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 50 #50