Aired 12 years ago - May 19, 2008
When Charlie meets Angie's soon to be daughter-in-law, he realizes it's not for the first time.
Man. Even hookers prorate.
And that shirt
looks great on you.
I just need a minute.
Come on in.
Hi, tricia. Charlie.
I can't believe nobody
snapped her up before I did.
That's what I'm thinking.
Why aren't you studying
for your algebra final?
But let's get back to
the algebra test. So...
Listen to me.
Are you now so lazy you can't
even be bothered to finish words?
Don't you mean it's all "guh"?
No, you don'T.
Full price, both of us.
Angie, this is my mother, evelyn.
Mom, this is angie.
Have you met his brother?
Another drama queen.
Nice yanking chains
with you, mom.
There's no work.
Oh, my god, you know, I... I've read
about that kind of thing, but...
You should've seen your face
when you thought I was smart.
Oh, hey, I, uh...
but I can't go out now.
Jake's kind of a turd
in the punchbowl.
Oh, stop playing the martyr.
I said it with love.
No, that's your sex life.
I thought we settled this, dad.
Your blow-up doll run
off with a pool toy?
So who's the lucky receptacle?
She left an hour ago, but it took me
till now to safely zip up my pants.
Hi, charlie. Can I talk to you?
Okay, uh, you understand that I'm
involved with jeremy's mother, right?
Oh, come on. Come on.
It'll be all right.
How-how can you
possibly pass that up?
She's young, needy,
Angie's gonna be...
We had some great
we'll go back to vegas.
Aired 12 years ago - May 12, 2008
Charlie's attracted to an older self-help author. Alan and Jake clash over a project for school.
Aired 12 years ago - Apr 28, 2008
Alan makes wedding plans for Evelyn and Teddy, while Charlie figures out how to get more acquainted with his future step-sister.
Aired 12 years ago - Apr 21, 2008
Alan feels Charlie is unable to control his womanizing ways.
Aired 12 years ago - Apr 14, 2008
Charlie double-dates with Jake and fixes Alan up with a hooker.
Call me sometime, charlie, maybe we can
get together, have dinner and catch up.
Shs emems ce. Who is she?
You're not gonna do it, are you?
Hey, we both benefited from that.
They all have pretty names, alan.
A credit card?
You know, in case there's something
you want that might be considered...
Zippy getting a hooker?
Jake, buddy, I don't even
know her mother's name.
Okay. Wait. What?
Really? Sure, I guess so.
Like you should be knocking on doors,
asking people if they've heard the good news!
It turns out, I couldn'T.
Been there, done thaT.
Uh, uh, charlie? Wait.
Carb loading for my
upcoming 60-minute dash.
No, it's like a tollbooth.
Well, then why do you always do it?
You need to get your ducks in a
row before we get to the restaurant.
You can't get 'em in a row.
and toss you into the carpool lane.
Number one: Dinner with a
beautiful woman is never about food.
Number one: I'd like you not to call me
mr. Potato head or spongebob smearpants.
So if we're equals, does that mean
you're going to split the check with me?
♪ You don't have to
put on the red light ♪
Make me proud.
I'm sitting here waiting for a prostitute and
all of a sudden you show up at the front door?
A lot of people masturbate I hear.
And how old are you, honey?
- Ix-nay on the
allsbay. - What?
That's what I meant.
when you see a kid's retainer fly out of
his mouth when he takes one to the face.
What do you mean?
- That was $400, right?
Well, you know, I'm
not into animals or...
- Uh, uh, hang on a sec.
No, no, of course not. Why
would you lie to me? But...
I think competitive eating really changed when
that japanese guy started wetting the hot dog buns.
Aired 12 years ago - Mar 31, 2008
Alan finds out some surprising information about Judith's sex life when he decides to go on a date with one of her friends.
Aired 12 years ago - Mar 24, 2008
Rose returns from England, and plays nurse rather oddly for an ill Charlie.
Aired 12 years ago - Mar 17, 2008
When Alan finds himself wanting to break up with a woman, Charlie offers his expertise.
Aired 12 years ago - Nov 26, 2007
Alan finds out that Charlie stole his girlfriend and works on a plan to get back at Charlie, even though this happened when they were in high school.
Aired 12 years ago - Nov 19, 2007
Charlie fights his attraction for Teddy's daughter.
Aired 12 years ago - Nov 12, 2007
Charlie writes a children’s song and finds success as Charlie Waffles. The children love him and the mothers seem to as well. Charlie's new found fame irritates Alan.
Aired 12 years ago - Nov 05, 2007
After Alan and Charlie have a fight about Alan's role in the house. Alan packs Jake up and moves in with his mother.
Aired 13 years ago - Oct 30, 2007
Charlie's girlfriend is embrassed to go out in public with him. Meanwhile, Jake sneaks out to attend a concert.
Aired 13 years ago - Oct 23, 2007
Charlie has to come up with ways to keep his girlfriend's 4-year-old amused; Alan becomes a test subject.
Aired 13 years ago - Oct 15, 2007
Charlie and Linda get closer to consummating their relationship, but Charlie has trouble focusing when he begins to see Rose's face everywhere he turns.
Aired 13 years ago - Oct 08, 2007
Alan convinces Charlie that he needs to date more respectable women and sets him up with a judge. The two double date and their waitress happens to be one of Alan's ex-girlfriends. Charlie's date backfires the following morning, when he ends up in court in front of the judge.
Aired 13 years ago - Oct 01, 2007
Charlie acts strange after spending an evening with his mother, and a woman Alan slept with behaves oddly the next morning.
Aired 13 years ago - Sep 24, 2007
Jake is getting ready to start a new school as he graduates to Junior High. Alan and Charlie take him school shopping and find themselves in trouble.