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Two and a Half Men

S1 E22
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Ended
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CBS
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Season 1  "My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet"  1x22

Aired 20 years ago - May 10, 2004

Charlie attempts to cure Alan of his recent bout of sleepwalking; Jake sees his therapist.

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Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 1
No, I am not in denial.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 2
Damn it!
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 3
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 4
Good for you, because I have no memory of being asleep.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 5
Sure, but you still owe me like $12,000 from last time.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 6
I didn't, but Judith and I talked,
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 7
You're right. It's been a long time since you got any meow.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 8
But it's not gonna hurt to have someone outside the family he can talk to.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 9
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 10
Okay, look, nobody likes divorce, but there are certain advantages.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 11
It's a small price to pay to avoid aggravating Judith.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 12
- No. - Good.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 13
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 14
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 15
You eat moo-shu with a pancake, like a little Chinese taco.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 16
- Alan, chill. - I will not chill. I want what I ordered.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 17
That's smart. Scream at the people who handle your food.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 18
- No kidding. - Yeah, she went berserk.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 19
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 20
I thought you'd like to know that your brother is sleepwalking again.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 21
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 22
You handle this, honey, I'm going back to bed.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 23
I mean, right here in the room.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 24
"Dr. Linda Freeman, Child Psychologist?" Who here's seeing a child psychologist?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 25
Jake, honey. I just want you to know
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 26
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 27
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 28
- M.D. Or PhD? - C-O-W.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 29
in the Neiman Marcus changing room.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 30
The thing is, he's been sleepwalking,
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 31
Right around the time he started taking those long showers
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 32
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 33
This is nice. Great idea, Charlie.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 34
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 35
I'm fine, Charlie.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 36
Hi, Charlie. Who's your cute friend?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 37
Come, please, join us.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 38
You know, Alan, Annette is a seat-filler for most of the major awards shows.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 39
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 40
- Just like that? - Yes, Alan, just like that.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 41
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 42
You sure? 'Cause there's no way you're banging her on your own.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 43
- What? - I can't say it more clearly than that, Alan.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 44
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 45
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 46
she still runs your life, you're broke,
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 47
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 48
and coming at me like a frigging steamroller.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 49
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 50

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 2
Damn it!
#2 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 3 #3 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 4
Good for you, because I have no memory of being asleep.
#4 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 5
Sure, but you still owe me like $12,000 from last time.
#5 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 6
I didn't, but Judith and I talked,
#6 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 7
You're right. It's been a long time since you got any meow.
#7 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 8
But it's not gonna hurt to have someone outside the family he can talk to.
#8 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 9 #9 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 10
Okay, look, nobody likes divorce, but there are certain advantages.
#10 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 11
It's a small price to pay to avoid aggravating Judith.
#11 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 12
- No. - Good.
#12 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 13 #13 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 14 #14 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 15
You eat moo-shu with a pancake, like a little Chinese taco.
#15 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 16
- Alan, chill. - I will not chill. I want what I ordered.
#16 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 17
That's smart. Scream at the people who handle your food.
#17 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 18
- No kidding. - Yeah, she went berserk.
#18 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 19 #19 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 20
I thought you'd like to know that your brother is sleepwalking again.
#20 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 21 #21 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 22
You handle this, honey, I'm going back to bed.
#22 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 23
I mean, right here in the room.
#23 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 24
"Dr. Linda Freeman, Child Psychologist?" Who here's seeing a child psychologist?
#24 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 25
Jake, honey. I just want you to know
#25 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 26 #26 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 27 #27 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 28
- M.D. Or PhD? - C-O-W.
#28 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 29
in the Neiman Marcus changing room.
#29 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 30
The thing is, he's been sleepwalking,
#30 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 31
Right around the time he started taking those long showers
#31 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 32 #32 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 33
This is nice. Great idea, Charlie.
#33 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 34 #34 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 35
I'm fine, Charlie.
#35 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 36
Hi, Charlie. Who's your cute friend?
#36 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 37
Come, please, join us.
#37 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 38
You know, Alan, Annette is a seat-filler for most of the major awards shows.
#38 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 39 #39 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 40
- Just like that? - Yes, Alan, just like that.
#40 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 41 #41 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 42
You sure? 'Cause there's no way you're banging her on your own.
#42 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 43
- What? - I can't say it more clearly than that, Alan.
#43 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 44 #44 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 45 #45 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 46
she still runs your life, you're broke,
#46 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 47 #47 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 48
and coming at me like a frigging steamroller.
#48 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 49 #49 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 50 #50