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Two and a Half Men

S1 E18
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CBS
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Season 1  "An Old Flame With a New Wick"  1x18

Aired 20 years ago - Mar 01, 2004

Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man (Chris O'Donnell).

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Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 1
No kidding?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 2
Maybe she had a good reason.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 3
Me who?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 4
Jill?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 5
We're gonna need two shots of tequila.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 6
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 7
Who pays the nickel, by the way?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 8
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 9
I tried everything, but the truth is,
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 10
-You haven't changed. -I wish I could say the same.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 11
Wait.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 12
It's just...
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 13
Yeah, Bill, whatever. It's okay.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 14
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 15
get you undressed and...
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 16
Bill, this is my brother Alan. Alan, this is my old friend, Bill.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 17
Anyway, I ran into my old friend, Bill, here.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 18
The house is clean, I'm going home now.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 19
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 20
I'm planning on moving back and buying a place.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 21
So, are you interested in renting or buying?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 22
Sexy and liquid. I like that in a man.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 23
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 24
-I don't smoke. -You will when I'm done with you.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 25
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 26
Very soon you're gonna be looking back on this moment with fond nostalgia.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 27
Very tall.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 28
-And you and Jill used to... -Every chance we got.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 29
-Go to bed. -Go to bed.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 30
my mom and I slept with the same dude.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 31
until the part of the brain that creates mental pictures is dead.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 32
Maybe all these years I've been pathologically chasing women
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 33
that either of us will ever have to call a woman I slept with "Daddy."
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 34
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 35
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 36
Go to a fun party? See a great movie?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 37
Okay. I'll fix you something to eat.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 38
-Oh, boy. -Oh, boy.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 39
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 40
That's nice, Mom. Isn't that nice, Alan?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 41
some sordid adventures together, but that's the past.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 42
Nothing. I'm just happy to be here.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 43
But when a mature woman gets involved with a younger man,
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 44
I was 19 and she was a very doable 42.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 45
Please, I came here to brag. I just needed an opening line.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 46
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 47
Not angry. Not thrilled.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 48
No, listen, fella,
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 49
You couldn't take me when I was a girl.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 50
Okay, I'm sorry.

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 2
Maybe she had a good reason.
#2 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 3
Me who?
#3 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 4
Jill?
#4 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 5
We're gonna need two shots of tequila.
#5 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 6 #6 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 7
Who pays the nickel, by the way?
#7 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 8 #8 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 9
I tried everything, but the truth is,
#9 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 10
-You haven't changed. -I wish I could say the same.
#10 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 11
Wait.
#11 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 12
It's just...
#12 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 13
Yeah, Bill, whatever. It's okay.
#13 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 14 #14 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 15
get you undressed and...
#15 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 16
Bill, this is my brother Alan. Alan, this is my old friend, Bill.
#16 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 17
Anyway, I ran into my old friend, Bill, here.
#17 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 18
The house is clean, I'm going home now.
#18 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 19 #19 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 20
I'm planning on moving back and buying a place.
#20 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 21
So, are you interested in renting or buying?
#21 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 22
Sexy and liquid. I like that in a man.
#22 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 23 #23 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 24
-I don't smoke. -You will when I'm done with you.
#24 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 25 #25 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 26
Very soon you're gonna be looking back on this moment with fond nostalgia.
#26 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 27
Very tall.
#27 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 28
-And you and Jill used to... -Every chance we got.
#28 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 29
-Go to bed. -Go to bed.
#29 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 30
my mom and I slept with the same dude.
#30 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 31
until the part of the brain that creates mental pictures is dead.
#31 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 32
Maybe all these years I've been pathologically chasing women
#32 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 33
that either of us will ever have to call a woman I slept with "Daddy."
#33 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 34 #34 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 35 #35 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 36
Go to a fun party? See a great movie?
#36 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 37
Okay. I'll fix you something to eat.
#37 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 38
-Oh, boy. -Oh, boy.
#38 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 39 #39 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 40
That's nice, Mom. Isn't that nice, Alan?
#40 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 41
some sordid adventures together, but that's the past.
#41 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 42
Nothing. I'm just happy to be here.
#42 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 43
But when a mature woman gets involved with a younger man,
#43 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 44
I was 19 and she was a very doable 42.
#44 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 45
Please, I came here to brag. I just needed an opening line.
#45 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 46 #46 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 47
Not angry. Not thrilled.
#47 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 48
No, listen, fella,
#48 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 49
You couldn't take me when I was a girl.
#49 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 50
Okay, I'm sorry.
#50