S2 E1
Status
Ended
Network
CBS
SEASON
VIEW ALL EPISODE

Season 2  "Divided We Stand"  2x1

Aired 46 years ago - Sep 15, 1973

Brought on by Frank and Margaret's negative reports, General Clayton assigns a psychiatrist, Captain Hildebrand, to examine the 4077th M*A*S*H unit, to see if it should be disbanded. Henry tells them to be on their best behavior, or else they will be split up. But the 4077th soon begins to act in their traditional, insane ways: the shrink experiences Max Klinger, watches the hijinks of Hawkeye and Trapper John, and witnesses the trysts of Frank and Hot Lips. While Hildebrand confronts the unit on its behaviour, choppers bearing wounded begin to arrive and everyone heads for the OR. The onslaught of casualties shows the 4077th's true side.

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Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 1
Oh, Margaret. That's delicious.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 2
You're going to need a bath, you naughty girl.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 3
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 4
Gimme three.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 5
My concern is that the 4077...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 6
- Longfingers. - Longfingers.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 7
We're about to button this kid up. Let's get the next one in. Move it!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 8
Get the fire out first, boys. Get the fire out first.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 9
And for your purposes, it might be best...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 10
I mean, we've been together so long, we're like a family.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 11
- Like a brandy, Captain? - No, thanks.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 12
it'll build up to an incredible amount of pressure around here!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 13
Great little kidder, that one.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 14
The 4077 is one of the most committed, responsible bunch of people...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 15
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 16
Oh, there's nothing wrong with Klinger.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 17
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 18
- I mean, the P.I.B. Tent. - Follow me, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 19
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 20
All I know is he says it's important.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 21
But Clayton sent this joker Hildebrand to spy on us.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 22
Pierce, can you lay off the wisecracks for just five minutes?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 23
I mean, as screwy as this outfit is, better the devil you know, right?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 24
- Just a minute. Go. - [Objects Clattering]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 25
He's a psychiatrist, and he's here on Clayton's orders.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 26
it might just happen that we all get split up.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 27
Everybody's agreed to behave themselves in front of Capt. Hildebrand...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 28
##[Continues]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 29
It's disgusting that you sleep in your underwear.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 30
Ha, ha, ha.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 31
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 32
Tonight's subject will be...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 33
There we go. Pierce, Mclntyre, I'd like you to meet Capt. Hildebrand.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 34
[Forced Chuckling]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 35
Capt. Hildebrand, nose, throat and bloomers.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 36
- Henry? The butter. - Hmm?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 37
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 38
Every nurse I've ever known takes a backseat to the major.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 39
##[P. A: Woman Singing "Hi Lily, Hi Lo"In Korean]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 40
##[Continues]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 41
Immediately following mass this Sunday, Yom Kippur services...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 42
with its connotations of innocence...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 43
under the stress of war.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 44
Even tipping them off couldn't keep them from behaving the way they really feel.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 45
You stay out of this, Hot Lips, or I'll stop selling tickets to your shower day.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 46
not to mention just plain dictators, to keep a cold war from turning hot,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 47
- Speak for yourself. - [Inaudible]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 48
- [Chattering, Indistinct] - [Houlihan] We need some sponges here.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 49
- Get somebody to give us some sponges. - You got it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 50
That's better. I can see a little better.

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 2
You're going to need a bath, you naughty girl.
#2
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 3 #3 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 4
Gimme three.
#4
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 5
My concern is that the 4077...
#5
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 6
- Longfingers. - Longfingers.
#6
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 7
We're about to button this kid up. Let's get the next one in. Move it!
#7
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 8
Get the fire out first, boys. Get the fire out first.
#8
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 9
And for your purposes, it might be best...
#9
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 10
I mean, we've been together so long, we're like a family.
#10
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 11
- Like a brandy, Captain? - No, thanks.
#11
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 12
it'll build up to an incredible amount of pressure around here!
#12
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 13
Great little kidder, that one.
#13
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 14
The 4077 is one of the most committed, responsible bunch of people...
#14
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 15 #15 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 16
Oh, there's nothing wrong with Klinger.
#16
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 17 #17 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 18
- I mean, the P.I.B. Tent. - Follow me, sir.
#18
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 19 #19 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 20
All I know is he says it's important.
#20
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 21
But Clayton sent this joker Hildebrand to spy on us.
#21
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 22
Pierce, can you lay off the wisecracks for just five minutes?
#22
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 23
I mean, as screwy as this outfit is, better the devil you know, right?
#23
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 24
- Just a minute. Go. - [Objects Clattering]
#24
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 25
He's a psychiatrist, and he's here on Clayton's orders.
#25
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 26
it might just happen that we all get split up.
#26
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 27
Everybody's agreed to behave themselves in front of Capt. Hildebrand...
#27
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 28
##[Continues]
#28
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 29
It's disgusting that you sleep in your underwear.
#29
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 30
Ha, ha, ha.
#30
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 31 #31 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 32
Tonight's subject will be...
#32
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 33
There we go. Pierce, Mclntyre, I'd like you to meet Capt. Hildebrand.
#33
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 34
[Forced Chuckling]
#34
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 35
Capt. Hildebrand, nose, throat and bloomers.
#35
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 36
- Henry? The butter. - Hmm?
#36
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 37 #37 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 38
Every nurse I've ever known takes a backseat to the major.
#38
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 39
##[P. A: Woman Singing "Hi Lily, Hi Lo"In Korean]
#39
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 40
##[Continues]
#40
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 41
Immediately following mass this Sunday, Yom Kippur services...
#41
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 42
with its connotations of innocence...
#42
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 43
under the stress of war.
#43
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 44
Even tipping them off couldn't keep them from behaving the way they really feel.
#44
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 45
You stay out of this, Hot Lips, or I'll stop selling tickets to your shower day.
#45
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 46
not to mention just plain dictators, to keep a cold war from turning hot,
#46
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 47
- Speak for yourself. - [Inaudible]
#47
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 48
- [Chattering, Indistinct] - [Houlihan] We need some sponges here.
#48
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 49
- Get somebody to give us some sponges. - You got it.
#49
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 50
That's better. I can see a little better.
#50