Status
Ended
Network
CBS
SEASON
EPISODE

Comedy

DESCRIPTION

The 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital is stuck in the middle of the Korean war. With little help from the circumstances they find themselves in, they are forced to make their own fun. Fond of practical jokes and revenge, the doctors, nurses, administrators, and soldiers often find ways of making wartime life bearable.

Season 1

Aired 46 years ago - Mar 25, 1973

Captain Kaplan is to be shipped home, but becomes paranoid that something will happen to him before he leaves. He takes the wheel of the jeep to drive to Kimpo himself, but crashes and ends up in plaster. Henry's wife is in labor and gives birth while he has Radar calling the hospital every 5 mins.An entertainer, Jackie Flash, visits the camp to entertain the troops. MORE -LESS

Aired 46 years ago - Mar 18, 1973

General Clayton calls so say that a ceasefire is to be declared. The camp celebrates, Klinger gives away his dresses and locals start to take pieces of the camp. But Trapper does not believe it. Hawkeye claims he is married to avoid promises he made to several nurses. The party to celebrate the cease-fire, which never really took place, is interrupted by incoming wounds. MORE -LESS

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 1
You're a general and I'm just a captain, but I wanna have your baby.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 2
Yes, I'll tell Major Houlihan that you look forward to seeing her.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 3
The general was giving me advance notice.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 4
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 5
All personnel are ordered to continue regular duties until further notice.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 6
But I'm stuck with a dozen dresses.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 7
It's the same story in every war.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 8
It's finished!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 9
They're passing out champagne. Would you guys like some?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 10
I don't like to ask, but if there's some little souvenir I could have...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 11
Frank, you're not to worry about me.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 12
Gosh, Margaret, it's swell of you to be so brave.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 13
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 14
I'm, uh, busy right now.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 15
- Trapper, sign my book? - I'll sign it when the real cease-fire comes.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 16
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 17
And it is fitting that we pause to offer a prayer of thanksgiving
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 18
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 19
Attention. A reminder that the cease-fire is not officially in effect.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 20
They're doctors and nurses. What could we do that would surprise them?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 21
- Can you be serious for a minute? - 30 seconds is my record.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 22
- As in you and me. - Oh, that us. Right, right.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 23
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 24
Five.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 25
Sir?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 26
turning grey over my wife's checking account, and loving it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 27
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 28
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 29
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 30
Now, that's a great idea.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 31
But I mean, not right away.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 32
Let's just kinda leave it loose for now, huh? But we'll do it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 33
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 34
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 35
I'm starting to feel better already, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 36
- I can hardly wait for the peace treaty. - Hawkeye, we have to make plans.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 37
Lieutenant, darling.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 38
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 39
All sales final!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 40
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 41
It's for my mother!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 42
I'll just stick my head in an oven,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 43
- Margaret... - Take me home with you, Frank!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 44
Is now a good time?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 45
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 46
Welcome to the 4077th Cease-Fire Party.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 47
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 48
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 49
with a photograph or two. If you'd all turn around. Lights, please.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 23 (S01E23) - 50
Aired 46 years ago - Mar 11, 1973

As usual Frank's normal drone of verbal abuse upsets Ginger, so Hawkeye puts his arm in a cast while he is asleep. Frank puts in for a transfer, and after a broadcast goes out of Frank telling Margaret he's leaving, she decides to leave as well. As a result, Col. Blake puts both Hawk and Trap on double post-op duty until he finds replacements for Majs. Burns and Houlihan. Unwilling to lose their two favorite patsies, and to be worn to a frazzle from doing 2 shifts in O/R, Hawkeye and Trapper hatch a scheme to prevent Frank and Hot Lips from leaving. That night, Hawkeye and Trapper pretend they have found gold, letting Frank overhear them. Frank then withdraws his request when he thinks he's found gold himself, although the joke is on him when he finds, amongst other things, a gilded jeep! MORE -LESS

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 1
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 2
I know I've asked for a transfer before, but this time I mean it! I want out!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 3
There's nothing wrong with my arm! You can't change my mind.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 4
I woke up once and they'd given me "The Princess and the Pea" treatment!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 5
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 6
Oh, really? Well, I certainly didn't bring last night on myself.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 7
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 8
Oh! You guys!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 9
It might not have come to this if you'd had the backbone to maintain discipline.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 10
If you're looking for the Gold Rush, go down the road 100 years.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 11
Take a look at these. I found 'em down by the creek.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 12
What a relief to know I'll never have to listen to you two again.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 13
Now, this has to be the farewell scene of all time.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 14
They were chrysanthemums before Pierce and McIntyre got at 'em!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 15
He's bringing some pork chops here tonight.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 16
But, Frank, why? Have I done something to displease you?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 17
Frank, you're crushing my mums.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 18
Just like I do my wife. Margaret, we're both mature, grown-up adults. We...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 19
I never drink with strangers, and as of right now, I don't know either one of you.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 20
and you two will be ship's doctors on a garbage scow somewhere.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 21
I almost forgot. It's time for my armed forces soap opera, Just Plain MacArthur.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 22
That's right. Nurse Dribble and Dr Manure.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 23
Oh, Margaret, there's so much to do and so little time.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 24
It's absolutely inexcusable! You guys should be sentenced to life in front of a firing squad.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 25
I'm holding you directly responsible for this unit losing a fair but competent surgeon,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 26
Listen, big shot, I'm gonna do more than that. I'm gonna do more than that.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 27
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 28
Colonel Blake says you guys are pulling double duty
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 29
Maybe we finally went too far.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 30
- Want a martini? - No, thanks. I just put one away.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 31
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 32
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 33
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 34
Only good thing that ever came out of his mouth.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 35
We found enough to buy Frank's country club and have him thrown out of it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 36
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 37
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 38
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 39
It's so unlike you. You never liked the outdoors.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 40
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 41
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 42
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 43
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 44
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 45
Gold! Gold!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 46
I just lost a temporary filling and every time I suck air it's a new adventure in pain.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 47
- Frank? - What?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 48
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 49
The colonel has rescinded my orders. You have to unpack.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 50
You're seeing another woman.
Aired 46 years ago - Mar 04, 1973

Hawkeye and Frank argue over Frank's surgical ability. Hawkeye performs a difficult operation and the patient does not recover, as he should. Hawkeye begins to doubt his ability and moves out of The Swamp. He decides to open up his patients again, and discovers a nick in the colon that even Frank admits anyone could have missed.

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 1
- Which is more than I would do for you. - Well?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 2
You're inconsiderate, insulting to nurses, bloody arrogant,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 3
And, finally, you are a total and definitive pain in the gluteus maximus!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 4
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 5
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 6
What should I tell her, sir?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 7
- Hawkeye? - Go away.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 8
So typical. Colonel Blake calls you into his office and you chew him out.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 9
Reporting to your commanding officer wearing nothing but a robe!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 10
- See? Even she agrees. - I want you to patch it up.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 11
People must know Frank's dangerous with sharp instruments,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 12
The lace-curtain effect's done by a fragmentation grenade.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 13
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 14
Not if these ten fingers haven't lost their magic.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 15
What's his problem? Other than he ought to be at home with his girlfriend?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 16
You were on the table a long time. People thought we were going steady.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 17
I can't. Start him on IV penicillin. He may be developing a wound infection.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 18
- So what's the problem? - He's got a temperature of 101.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 19
Hey. Good luck with the kid.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 20
White blood count 18,000, temperature up to 102.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 21
Give us the whole story. You shot your mouth off with no trouble last night.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 22
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Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 24
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 25
- Oh, patients? How's he doing? - Last night's box score.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 26
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 27
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 28
I got the missis to send me a cheque made out to you, just to make things easier.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 29
- I'm out. - I call.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 30
Take it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 31
You won't go home when the war's over. We're stayin' right here until I get even.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 32
- Sir? - Please, Mildred, I've had a tough day.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 33
Nothing is for ever, Radar.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 34
- Yeah. - Will you look after my money for me, sir?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 35
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Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 37
The bubbling still, the clicking poker chips... I'm losing the little mind I came here with.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 38
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 39
What's going on?! I want privacy. There's everything here but the kitchen sink!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 40
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 41
You don't understand: You're already interrupting.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 42
Depends... on whether you're dedicated to your patient or your ego.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 43
It's so next week we can get Love Life of a Gorilla and Bedtime for Bonzo.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 44
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 45
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 46
- Captain Pierce. - Taken to cruising the compound, Major?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 47
That I missed something is not exactly a new thought. But what?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 48
You just assisted. I ran the controls. I oughta know.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 49
Hey.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 21 (S01E21) - 50
- You'll assist me. - Wait till I'm dressed!
Aired 46 years ago - Feb 25, 1973

The camp tunes into the Army/Navy football game, only to be shelled and have an unexploded bomb land in the middle of the compound. They ring around trying to identify the bomb, and the camp prepares for the worst. Hawkeye and Trapper are left the task of following instructions to disarm the bomb, which turns out to be full of propaganda leaflets from the CIA. MORE -LESS

Aired 46 years ago - Feb 17, 1973

The camp suffers from the severe cold, except for Hawkeye who has received some long john's from his father. They get passed around from person to person, as a gift, a gambling stake, a trade, a bribe, stolen, given up to Father Mulcahy, who gives them to Henry, who returns them to Hawkeye as thanks for taking out his appendix.

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 1
Turn down the radiator. I worked up a sweat out there.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 2
- Hawkeye? - Yeah?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 3
- Stop dripping your filthy germs on my bed. - $60, you can have the children.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 4
? The snow is snowing
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 5
You keep 'em.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 6
Some people don't care about anybody but themselves.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 7
OK, I bet 20 bucks.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 8
Could I, uh... could I interest you in...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 9
I want to see this underwear first. I have very sensitive skin.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 10
What were they?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 11
to an astigmatic missing link with four tens! That's how!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 12
Can you walk at the same time? I want to eat this before I have broccoli-sicles.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 13
I just lost a fantastic hand-warmer to another guy and I wanna see who it is.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 14
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 15
I'll break his leg, set it and break it again.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 16
She's got quite an appetite. If you know what I mean.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 17
Is that a whole one?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 18
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 19
How long of a walk is it from here to the soup, Sergeant?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 20
- I'm reducing you to Corporal. - Are you busting me?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 21
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 22
I wonder if you know who... might have left these here, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 23
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 24
Those are mine, you hermaphroditic weasel!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 25
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 26
How much?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 27
The moon, Margaret, the moon.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 28
How would that look to our minister? He lives up the street from us.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 29
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 30
You mean if you ever get a pair?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 31
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 32
- Take off your clothes. - Take off my clothes?!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 33
I gotta have long johns. I'm getting a terrible draught up my skirt.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 34
Major Burns, nobody takes me seriously. I'm gettin' tired of that.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 35
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Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 37
In surgery, perfecting my sawing-the-man-in-half routine.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 38
You wouldn't even have seen them if Trapper hadn't coughed up his lungs!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 39
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 40
Oh, my. Aren't they nice.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 41
- I know. I hear it too. - You do?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 42
Certainly. But you're holding down the hand I do that with.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 43
I took the liberty of wearing them last night.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 44
- Radar? - Yes, sir?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 45
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 46
- Hi. - Are we interrupting anything?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 47
- And they're johns. I guess they're his. - Let's have 'em.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 48
- What's the matter? Are you sick? - No, don't be an idiot.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 49
You're having trouble digesting your appendix.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 50
I don't have any symptoms. Look, it'll all clear up the next time I throw up.
Aired 46 years ago - Feb 04, 1973

Once again, Hawkeye writes home to his father, telling him of the latest gossip: the camp gets a new surgeon, who turns out to be a fake; Hawkeye bets he can walk into the mess tent naked for lunch, and no one will notice; Radar cheats on his final exam from the High School diploma company; Margaret rejects Franks advances and he gets drunk late into the night; the camp have a no talent night. MORE -LESS

Aired 46 years ago - Jan 28, 1973

Frank throws his back out whilst spending the evening with Margaret, and ends up in traction. He promptly applies for the Purple Heart, having been 'technically' wounded at a frontline unit. Tommy Gillis, an old friend of Hawkeye's, is writing a book about the war, and pays him a visit. Later, Tommy is brought into the camp, seriously wounded, and Hawkeye can't save him. A 15-year-old kid is in the hospital to have his appendix out. He joined up to be a hero back home, but Hawkeye has him sent home, giving him Frank's purple heart. MORE -LESS

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 1
There are at least a dozen right here in this jar. From China.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 2
- That's terrible. - Those dumb commies.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 3
- Are you a ventriloquist? - Mm-mm. It's your roomie.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 4
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 5
- Do you have a history with your back? - It goes out every few years.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 6
Here, here.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 7
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 8
It seems you've applied for the Purple Heart.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 9
Is that how you want it announced at the awards ceremony?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 10
- You won't endorse this idiot's application? - That's "Major" to you!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 11
Ohh... But I need Dr Pierce. He's the only one who can help me.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 12
I thought you had a way to beat the draft.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 13
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 14
He was a bit of a sissy.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 15
What is a guy like you, with your background, doing in the infantry?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 16
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 17
Right. You always hear this big, loud ricochetjust before he gets killed.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 18
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You aren't gonna prance off and leave me?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 20
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 21
Multiple lacerations, contusions and abrasions.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 22
- Why were they fighting? - Nobody knows.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 23
You ran for nothing, padre. No last rites today.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 24
D'you see his chest? Hardly a hair on it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 25
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 26
And walk out on Debra Paget?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 27
Tell him where it hurts, Frank. Don't be brave.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 28
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- When can I go back to my outfit? - A few more weeks.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 30
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 31
Oh. Then how come one of the dwarfs is named Leather?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 32
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Cut it out. Come on, come on. Now, what's all this about?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 34
If I get you each a salami, will you stop fighting? At least until your stitches heal?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 35
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 36
For an appendix? If they sent you home for that, I'd take my own out...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 37
We was going steady, then she dumps me,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 38
They don't know the difference.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 39
It's none of my business. If you wanna play marine, that's up to you.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 40
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 41
Give me some suction. I can't see anything.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 42
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Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 44
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Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 47
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 48
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I mean, it's only natural that you'd... you know.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 17 (S01E17) - 50
If I had the answer, I'd be at the Mayo Clinic.
Aired 46 years ago - Jan 21, 1973

Hawkeye and Trapper operate on a famous Colonel - after discovering that he is particularly ruthless about sacrificing his men, they come up with a scheme to get him sent back to the states with a little unwitting help from Frank, Margaret, and a drunk Henry.

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 1
- Some real estate doesn't come cheap. - We're not too hot for your business.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 2
- And this war is not gonna last for ever. - Well, no war's perfect.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 3
Thanks for the hooch. I shall go out and get myself a little exercise here. I'll see ya.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 4
A reminder that he's a quarterback and we're water boys.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 5
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He's racked up twice as many casualties as any other commander,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 7
- Morning, Frank. - Wouldn't you like to know!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 8
- But, sir... - Oh! Ouch! Oh, my ear!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 9
Except maybe he's become a drinking buddy of Pierce and McIntyre.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 10
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Frank Burns is giving Henry a hard time about your patient - Colonel Brighton.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 13
Will the owner of a red pick-up truck,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 14
Absence of pain.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 15
They'll put someone else in charge of my outfit.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 16
- What do you mean? - He slips away once in a while and...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 17
Well, what about, uh... what's-his-name, Burns?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 18
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A major?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 20
I want to give you a checkup, see about getting you on your way.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 21
Pierce and McIntyre, they bring nurses here, those degenerates.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 22
What are you trying to do?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 23
Oh, they're not his. No, they belong to a nurse "friend" of his.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 24
Kind of a head lag. Your thigh is fine, because you're not suffering any leg lag.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 25
No, this is my tent. I remember it, because that's where the PA speaker...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 26
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The milk you made such a fuss about getting.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 28
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Why are you keeping him here?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 30
sometimes a wound can trigger a bigger problem beneath the surface.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 31
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that needs to be cuddled and held, just like the rest of us.
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I saw her getting spiffed up. Thought you two were gonna tiptoe through the minefield.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 36
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- It's nothing like that. - Then why the new hairdo and...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 38
Would you promise me there's nothing between you and the colonel?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 39
- She's good-looking. - You should see her in a sweater!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 40
- Thanks for clueing me in. - Oh, there's only one thing, Buzz.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 41
I'm going to my, uh... tent.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 42
I mean, it just seems funny they say do it at night.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 43
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I'm not here as an officer. Or as a nurse.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 46
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You want it to be as strong as this one.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 48
And I didn't even know they were in season.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 49
- He can't keep his hands off me. - I know you're there.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 16 (S01E16) - 50
Where the deer and the antelope play
Aired 46 years ago - Jan 14, 1973

Hawkeye creates a fake doctor, Captain Jonathan S. Tuttle, to give supplies to the local orphans. Henry wants Tuttle to be officer of the day, so Hawkeye creates a fake personnel file, and all his back pay is given to the orphanage. When General Clayton wants to reward his generosity, Hawkeye is forced to invent a story about Tuttle jumping from a chopper without his parachute! Of course, Trapper's new friend, Captain Murdoch, obtained the fake dog tags and parachute...! MORE -LESS

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 1
How did you come up with a name like Tuttle?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 2
Just in case you wet your cot.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 3
- Only with tiny little breasts. - Out! Out!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 4
Or sign the carbon copies and initial the originals.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 5
Captain Tuttle? Which one's Captain Tuttle?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 6
Oh, yeah, he signed the supply form. Tuttle - I knew I'd seen his name somewhere.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 7
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No, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 9
- Frank, did you hear that? - But I volunteered.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 10
It's Tuttle's responsibility to present himself. He's ignoring me.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 11
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Wake him?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 14
Um... how about 1924? That was a good year for doctors.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 15
OK. Um... religion?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 16
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- No, that's a bit much. - You should write fiction.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 18
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"Tuttle, Jonathan, Captain. Serial number: 397-299-66."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 20
"Auburn hair, hazel eyes..."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 21
You know, there's still something spooky about this Tuttle.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 22
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Fine. Listen...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 24
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 25
- Hello? - Hello, General? Major Houlihan.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 26
Yes, sir. What I want to know...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 27
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I can only tell you Tuttle and I are both anxious for the change.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 29
Major Burns and Captain Tuttle, sir?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 30
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I don't want Tuttle to get in trouble with you. It's the least I can do for my buddy.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 32
- Is that yours? - No.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 33
- It certainly does. - Then I'll stop spreading it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 34
He's over at X-ray with Hot Lips. He said something about doing some chest pictures.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 35
Thank you very much.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 36
If I find out you're seeing Tuttle, I'll put my head under a jeep.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 37
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 38
He said I could sign for him.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 39
No, fortunately, I'm independently wealthy. My father invented bill padding.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 40
General Clayton.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 41
- I just got a letter from Sister Theresa. - I didn't know you had a sister.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 42
donated 14 months' pay to her orphanage.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 43
Therefore, I've decided to come out on the field tomorrow
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 44
- Where is Tuttle? - Captain Pierce went to get him, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 45
Frank, don't be bitter. He's a fine American.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 46
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 47
He's coming, sir. He's quite busy.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 48
Yes, sir. I'm afraid you're not gonna like this, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 49
How'd it happen?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 15 (S01E15) - 50
except his parachute.
Aired 46 years ago - Jan 07, 1973

Radar gets a Dear John recording from home. Hawkeye and Trapper try to set him up with a date, but fail. Radar is taken by a new nurse at the camp and she is into poetry and music, so they coach him. Margaret wants to stop the relationship, so Hawkeye and Trapper get between her and Frank until she relents. Radar's "Ahhhh, Bach!" and "That's highly significant," quotes win him the girl. MORE -LESS

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 1
- Is it high? - High?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 2
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My prescription: extra duty.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 4
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Come on, kid. What is it?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 6
Hi, Radar. This is Linda Sue,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 7
I'm awful sorry this happened,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 8
Quit kissing that part here! Elroy!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 9
Heavy alimony?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 10
- Forget it. - Try it once.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 11
Trapper!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 12
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- Oh, hey, what about Radar? - Radar who?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 14
Now, look. Let's face it: I struck out in the World Series of love.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 15
- Corporal, get the lieutenant's bags. - Yes, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 16
Oh, that's all right. I'm not using it now.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 17
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 18
I just drive the Welcome Wagon.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 19
- Do you like Italian poets? - No, but I'm crazy about lasagne.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 20
Bach at Carnegie Hall. Tchaikovsky, Shostakovich...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 21
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Radar, you got a problem. Come here. This Lieutenant Anderson has a brain.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 23
You can't read all of these. Familiarise yourself with names and dates.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 24
- What if she corners me on something? - OK, all right. You just...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 25
"I consider that horse-and-buggy thinking."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 26
- Ahh, Bach. - Smile a little bit.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 27
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 28
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 29
- Say something. - Speaking of Tolstoy...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 30
Actually, he was one of the hardest-working neo-realist writers of the 19th century.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 31
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 32
Radar reads an awful lot.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 33
Making a fuss over an enlisted man? Fawning all over him?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 34
and I've got the London Symphony playing Tchaikovsky.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 35
All right, hold it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 36
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 37
That means my marriage is only worth $1.78?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 38
before you declare each other fit?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 39
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 40
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 41
OK, folks, you want to... Would you kind of settle...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 42
for the treatment of this disorder. Lights, Radar? Thank you.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 43
followed, of course, by slide C....
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 44
It's been days and days and days and days, Frank.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 45
If a man shaves, does it have to mean he's...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 46
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 47
Date?! What date?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 48
Where were you? What happened last night?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 49
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 14 (S01E14) - 50
Aired 46 years ago - Dec 24, 1972

The nurses go to extremes lengths to find a date for Nurse Eddie - they won't go out with anyone until Eddie gets a date. The men draw straws, and Hawkeye is the big loser, especially after Eddie nearly kills him in a scene resembling teenage "mating" rituals.

Aired 46 years ago - Dec 17, 1972

Hawkeye writes home, describing Christmas in Korea: Radar ships a jeep home, a piece at a time; Henry gives the monthly lecture on sex, with the aid of figure A and figure B; Trapper helps deliver a calf; Klinger and Frank get into a fight, but Father Mulcahy smoothes things over; Hawkeye and Trapper sabotage Margaret's tent; Hawkeye flies to the front line dressed as Santa, to help a wounded soldier. MORE -LESS

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 1
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 2
until we did a fluoroscope of one of his packages,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 3
- Let me give you a hand. - Would you please, sir?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 4
"Come to the mess tent with me, Dad, and I'll buy you a cup of coffee."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 5
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"Thanks to these regulations, we know what to do
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 7
"And the family."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 8
Why should they know more than we do?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 9
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 10
I've devoted my life to this subject. At least a good many of the nights.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 11
uh... the, uh... woman...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 12
and wants to get married, but Figure A is already married to, say, Figure C,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 13
Moving along now, we come to the matter of, uh, family reproduction.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 14
It is necessary that they, uh...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 15
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 16
The following have volunteered for today's 10-mile fitness hike...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 17
"The kind you never forget."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 18
Whenever the locals want help, it's Trapper John McIntyre they turn to.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 19
for which service the doctor received one gallon of mother's milk."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 20
- Pierce? - Yes, ma'am.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 21
- This time take one step closer to the razor. - Oh, very good!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 22
- My ma give me this when I left. - Take it off.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 23
No, wait!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 24
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- He's exhausted. - OK...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 26
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- Give it to me. - Don't touch me,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 28
He's tired. We're all tired.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 29
I guarantee it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 30
Attention, all personnel. When filling out Gl insurance forms,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 31
"I've done my share to keep up their morale."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 32
"I'd make a grab for her, but I don't know how to do that and salute her too."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 33
"He and Hot Lips had a date the other night."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 34
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Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 36
Three guesses.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 37
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 38
Gee, it all looks so nice.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 39
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Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 42
I'll get 'em all! Each and every dirty...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 43
Goodnight, Hawkeye.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 44
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 45
Pierce, are you crazy?!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 46
- I'm fine, Frank. Fine. - Oh, the man's a beast! An animal.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 47
- That's what she's doing now. - Oh, yeah.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 48
- Standing room only. - Great!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 49
- How do I get there? - Chopper.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 50
Aired 46 years ago - Dec 10, 1972

Hawkeye moves a wounded North Korean soldier into The Swamp, rather than let him be shipped out before he's stable. During the night he and Trapper play Dracula, and siphon off a pint of Frank's blood. The soldier then contracts hepatitis, so they have to test Frank without him knowing, and have to keep him away from Margaret and the patients.

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 1
If I hand out AB neg to somebody from the other side, and then one of our kids needs it,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 2
- You wanted these transfer orders? - No, I want the transfer orders.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 3
Henry, you're turning into a regular army clown before our very eyes.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 4
No sweat, Henry. Everything's going to be OK.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 5
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Terrific. Take two splints out of petty cash.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 7
Easy. Henry okayed it. He's not taking up anybody's space but mine.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 8
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 9
Hey.
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Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 11
Not so loud, my count.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 12
- You got enough? - Almost. I want to put a head on it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 13
I'll go get Pai ready.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 14
- Is he all right? - He's fine.
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Not a bad way to go, really.
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Whether I'm there or not.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 19
If Frank did have it, it'd be a lovely way to get him out of our hair.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 20
- Hey, how do you feel, pal? - Feel? Me?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 21
Yeah? What was it?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 22
- High pulse rate. - A little disoriented. Classic signs.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 23
You know, we are gonna have to check him out for his own good.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 24
Frank, old buddy, let's hope you're not too house-broken.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 25
And don't ask me how I feel, because you have no real concern for my welfare.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 26
- I told you he'd be too hard-nosed to help. - I thought for once he'd be a regular guy.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 27
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And now we'll try the other one.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 30
- You don't think the first was different? - No. Yes. Whatever.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 31
- We're redecorating. - What kind of nonsense is this?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 32
If you'll just step this way, we have a temporary officers' arrangement right here.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 33
- Ready, sir? - Hang on. You got the full scam?
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We can't let him near any patients until we get that report.
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because she senses the presence of her frequent partner,
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Not only that, but Dish wants you in post-op on the double.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 42
- Yes, sir. - Well, did I want to see him?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 43
- Thank you. - Thank you.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 44
But I didn't send for you, Major. Really.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 45
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without the tawdriness that fills their sordid little affairs.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 47
- It's 4.30. - Yeah.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 48
- Just watch your tongue. - Can you say that in front of her?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 49
It's your liver, actually.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 50
It takes weeks for such symptoms to appear.
Aired 46 years ago - Nov 26, 1972

A rash of thefts breaks out in the camp. Missing pieces include Frank's silver picture frame, Margaret's hair brush, and Trapper's watch. The camp is searched and everything is found in Hawkeye's locker. Everyone thinks he did it. Hawkeye manages to announce to the camp that the items will be dusted for prints to identify the real thief, and catches Ho-Jon. He needed money to bring his family from the North, and to bribe border guards. MORE -LESS

Aired 46 years ago - Nov 19, 1972

Henry receives a citation for the camp achieving the best efficiency rating, and then General Hammond reassigns him to Tokyo. Frank then changes the camp to be more military, and he confiscates Hawkeye's and Trapper's still. They use forged passes to go to Tokyo to convince Henry to come back and end up pretending Radar is sick.

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 1
the best record of any medical unit in Korea."
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to award to Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake
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I don't know what to say. I haven't prepared an acceptance speech.
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Right down to my right-hand, Corporal Radar O'Reilly,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 5
I think back to the time when I first considered a career in medicine,
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Well, fine. I'll keep in touch with you on that.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 8
We're going to miss you, chief. Your fighting spirit, your little moods.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 9
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- Everything but Clausewitz on Hernias. - Give me back my books.
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Sir, it's been a privilege serving under you. I hope we see each other real soon.
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- Fitness reports. - Not those.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 17
You certainly came to the right place.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 18
I could swear I heard a bugle.
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- An inspection? - What's "inspection"?
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Sergeant, put these men on report.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 23
- Take it out of here! That's an order! - Watch it, buddy. This thing could go off.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 24
or I promise you, there'll be hell to pay.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 25
We have to give it careful, considered, intelligent thought.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 26
We could forge the general's signature on some orders and send him back to the States.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 27
It's crude, very crude, but I like it. It's interesting.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 28
- After we get rid of Major Burns, then what? - Hey, that's an important point.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 29
We were happy when Henry was in command. We understood each other.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 30
Look, I got an idea, but I'll need a couple of passes to Tokyo.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 31
Gentlemen, with these I promise you peace in our time.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 32
- There's that sense of humour again. - Henry, we've really missed it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 33
I don't exactly sit around my room playing the kazoo.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 34
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Come on, man. All the time I was there, I slept with a loaded gun under my pillow.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 36
I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll send her an obi coat or a hand-painted fan.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 37
? Had you dropped me a letter, I'd have hired a band...
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- How are you? - I'm OK.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 40
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Tell Spearchucker to get some blood chemistries
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 42
- Sorry. - You're sorry now.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 43
- We'll tell you when we know something. - Hey, wait a minute.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 44
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How's he doin'?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 46
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- Man's inhumanity to man. - Frank, I'm examining this patient.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 48
Henry, listen. Let's do some more studies. Enzymes, abdominal x-rays, the works.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 49
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I might do that.
Aired 46 years ago - Nov 12, 1972

John Hodges, a chopper pilot referred to as The Cowboy because of his gun holster belt and cowboy hat, has been hit in the shoulder, and arrives at the 4077th. He is expecting a letter--he's worried his wife Jean at home is leaving him for another man ("She's probably off with some rodeo rider; she's a sucker for a 10-gallon hat!"). He wants to go home, but Henry refuses, stating Cowboy's wound isn't serious enough to merit a stateside ticket. Bad luck then follows Henry Blake like the seat of his pants: he gets shot at while golfing, his tent gets flattened by a driverless jeep, and the latrine explodes while he's inside. The Cowboy offers to fly Henry to Seoul and then threatens to shove him out! The letter finally arives for Cowboy, assuring he is loved. Hawkeye and Trapper uses the radio to convince The Cowboy to spare Henry's life and come down, at which they succeed. MORE -LESS

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 1
- Oh, that's great. - Oh, yeah, we do quality work here.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 2
The Pony Express has been through.
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I'll see what I can do.
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- Great idea! - I dare you.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 5
- Is that right, McIntyre? - No, sir. I was not pilfering. I was stealing.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 6
This here's my pitching coach.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 7
Police that butt.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 8
And each one is worse than the one before.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 9
Yeah, but I think he's got something at home that is.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 10
Either that or "goodbye". It's multiple choice.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 11
He took away my wheels. Taste that.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 12
OK, Henry, you may have the honour.
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Terrific! Very nice, Henry. Very good.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 16
- That's the only kind to get. - I'm really starting to unwind.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 17
- What was that? - I don't know, but you'll have to take a stroke.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 18
No, no. I'll concede the hole, and the game.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 19
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- Jeep. Crash. Kill. Yes, sir. - Jeep.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 23
You're not the first to try to kill his commanding officer.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 24
- When the what went through your where? - He was here.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 25
Jeep. Tent.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 26
- Why don't you check the office? - Right.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 27
I found him.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 28
- Who? - Radar. Radar, sir.
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- Goldstein! - Here!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 33
She's probably off with some rodeo rider. She's a sucker for a ten-gallon hat.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 34
The army has its own kind of snakes, don't it?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 35
That's far enough. You ready for dinner?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 36
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- We're worried. - Welcome to the club.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 38
Pack up your gear. I'll get somebody to drive.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 39
Now, you'll find a set of master keys.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 40
- And no parades. - That's not a very military attitude.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 41
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It'll just be a few days. It will be fine.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 43
He's trying to get you a driver. Not too many kamikaze types around here.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 44
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Then I found the wiring and the alarm clock bits.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 46
Say, shouldn't I have a parachute, too?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 47
- Sir! - Would you get lost?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 48
Purple Rider, over.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 49
And what's the name on the letter?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 50
Aired 46 years ago - Nov 05, 1972

When Henry goes for some R&R, Hawkeye pretends to crack up so that Frank will let him and Trapper go on some R&R.

Aired 46 years ago - Oct 22, 1972

The 4077th is designated as the setting for the making of an army film on Mobile Army Surgical Hospital units. Hawkeye is chosen as the star while Margaret and Frank compose a screenplay. The Eye Of The Hawk objects to the piece of propaganda that filmmaker Lt. Bricker is producing and, having exposed the original film, reshoots a new one his way, starring himself as Groucho Marx-ish Yankee Doodle Doctor, and poking fun at glorifying doctors while concluding with a rather serious speech about the hell of war. MORE -LESS

Aired 46 years ago - Oct 15, 1972

Sergeant Baker arrives at the camp with his Moose. Hawkeye decides to find a way of getting her away from Baker. He tries ordering him to release her, tries buying her, and then resorts to cheating at cards. He releases her but she won't go, so he tries to teach her how to be independent.

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 1
- That slob bought a human being! - Why doesn't the army do something?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 2
Thought you said you were gonna do something about it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 3
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You understand that it's wrong for human beings to own each other?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 6
- Why do you stay with this Baker? - Are you in love with that slob?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 7
Sergeant pay money for me. I can leave only when he say.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 8
- You get it? - I get it, Captain-san. Roger wilco.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 9
- Sir... - That is a direct order.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 10
So save that GI crapola for the folks back home.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 11
You know, you're a pretty decent guy at that, Baker. Right?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 12
- You're outta your mind. - Have a martini.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 13
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Doesn't that have any meaning? What's the purpose of that? Practice?
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Oh, I'm good for it. I'll pay ya.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 27
Who do I have to kill?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 28
- She's all yours. I explained the whole deal. - You understand, Young Hi?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 29
Roger wilco. I belong to you.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 30
- Young... Young Hi! - Yes, I come back.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 31
"Dear Dad, I know you always wished I had a sister..."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 32
The man who coined the phrase "No moose is good moose."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 33
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It's all arranged. There's a truck leaving this afternoon for Seoul and she'll be on it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 35
- I be good worker for you! - Good luck, Young Hi.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 36
Oh, Hawkeye. Oh, your kisses are driving me crazy.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 37
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 38
Someday, baby, all this will be yours. The minefield, the cesspool - all of it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 39
- I didn't hear any choppers. What is it? - The moose is back in town.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 40
- What's the idea? - I your moose, Hawkeye-san. I come back.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 41
he brings one of them back here, and then they take her away.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 42
No, no, no. You take that bunk over there.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 43
- Right. - OK. Hello there, I'm Doctor Pierce.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 44
- I am good? - You are beautiful.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 45
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 46
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 47
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 48
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 49
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 50
Pop's OK. Mom's still delivering for the black market.
Aired 46 years ago - Oct 08, 1972

Frank Burns complains about Hawkeye Pierce's disrespect...and Henry appoints Hawkeye chief surgeon, to Burns's shock. The rest of the 4077th "coronates" Hawk while Frank and Hot Lips complain to General Barker. The General's visit provides him with a view of life at the 4077th M*A*S*H unit: camp hijinks, a poker game, and a surgery session. This shows him M*A*S*H has fun but gets the job done. MORE -LESS

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 1
and I already had a $35,000 house and two cars.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 2
- Can I help? - Help her retract.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 3
- How many are waitin'? - Two dozen, at least.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 4
You left it in your tent, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 5
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 6
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 7
Not allowed, Henry. Page 85, The Army Officer's Guide.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 8
- This way, sir. - Show him in.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 9
- You do it. I don't care. - They don't ask me the questions!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 10
- Burns does outrank you, Pierce. - It took the UN to do it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 11
- I'm giving it to Pierce. - Oh. Thanks.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 12
Frank, in case you haven't read the papers, there's a war on.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 13
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 14
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 15
Margaret, something just awful's happened.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 16
Frank, it's not unmanly to cry.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 17
at 2100 tonight there will be a special ceremony in the mess hall
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 18
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 19
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 20
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 21
They're gonna get theirs, boy...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 22
"Dear General Barker, I think I should call to your attention..." Da-da-da-dum...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 23
Just ask any little girl I grew up with.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 24
Now how will I be able to write the general?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 25
I guess, outside of our families, we'll never be closer to anybody than we are to each other.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 26
The trappings of your office, sire.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 27
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 28
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The situation better be as bad as you indicated.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 30
I may want to see you later, Major, for your own personal slant on all this.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 31
- And you, Kaplan? - Two.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 32
- Full house. - Ahh, three of a kind, all bad.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 33
Oh, hiya, General. What are you doing? Marching in your sleep?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 34
- That soldier requires surgery. - Right.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 35
- When do you intend to operate? - Hopefully, never. If I have to, around 3am.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 36
Your two and two more.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 37
If I don't win this pot, I'll never be able to send my sister a new truss.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 38
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 39
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 40
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 41
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 42
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 43
Still tryin' to get out on a psycho, eh, Klinger?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 44
- Just playin', sir. - That I can see. But what?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 45
- See? - Forget it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 46
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 47
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Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 49
- She gonna have you followed out here? - No, it's for when I get back home.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 4 (S01E04) - 50
Now, at three o'clock, he's been given three pints of blood,
Aired 46 years ago - Oct 01, 1972

Trapper and Hawkeye seek to keep a new nurse from being transferred by Hot Lips, and they vie for her affection. Henry Blake, challenged by another commander to a boxing tournament, makes Trapper fight a big, intimidating soldier in exchange for keeping the nurse at the 4077th. Hawkeye and Ugly John employ the use of a glove soaked with ether to insure Trapper's victory, which impresses the nurse. Margaret and Frank's attempts to unfix the match collapses, as they are flattened by the unconscious boxer! MORE -LESS

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 1
At least she had no trouble figuring out your sex.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 2
Twelve straight hours of surgery has me whipped.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 3
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 4
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 5
I was, but I didn't say where, did I?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 6
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 7
Doesn't know if she's coming or going.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 8
- You put yourself in our hands. - Actually, these go on your legs.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 9
- What are these? - Papers.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 10
- Hi. - Red tape, sign this, sign that.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 11
Sir, the main sport in this outfit is avoiding calisthenics.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 12
- Well, well, Dr Jekyll and Dr Jekyll. - Henry, we gotta ask you something.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 13
- She has two of the best... - I'm sure.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 14
- What's he want? - Maybe we can help.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 15
And he wants us to put up a boxer.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 16
Now, if one of you two guys would go three rounds with him,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 17
Just a thought...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 18
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- I knew it! - But I'm not in shape!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 20
I'd love to. I was on the boxing team too.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 21
You really got a bad shoulder?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 22
- How about ten? - Pay up now?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 23
He's just loosening up now. He's gotta get in shape.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 24
Move, Trapper.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 25
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 26
Let's go! Pick those legs up!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 27
Try it again, try it again.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 28
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Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 30
What does "mean" mean? Mean means nothing.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 31
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 32
This fight has just been called on account of chicken.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 33
A little obvious.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 34
A horseshoe is gauche. Ether is subtle.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 35
- Get him in a clinch. - Hold it near his nose.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 36
- Gentlemen, may I join you? - Please, not while we're eating.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 37
Me, doctor. Need hands... operate.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 38
Are you sure that Nurse Cutler's worth it? I really don't want you to get hurt.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 39
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 40
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 41
- Did you get it? - Nothing but pure distilled water.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 42
In this corner, representing the 3099th Mobile Army Hospital,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 43
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 44
All right, fellas, I want a good, clean fight.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 45
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 46
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 47
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Stick it in his face! What's the matter with you?!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 49
Hello, Hawkeye. What are you doing at the prom?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 50
Aired 46 years ago - Sep 24, 1972

After black marketers hijack the 4077th's supply of hydrocortisone, Hawkeye and Trapper concoct a deal with a local black marketer, Charlie Lee, to get some more. The catch: Henry's antique oak desk, which they must trade in order to get some of it. Margaret and Frank become suspicious about their plotting, and about the Koreans who come to check out the desk, which is whisked away by chopper as Henry and Frank watches in disbelief. MORE -LESS

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 1
Frank's gotta stop every five minutes and do a commercial for your friendly American war.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 2
I bet you don't know what kind of wood this is.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 3
- Henry. - Don't do that.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 4
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 5
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 6
- Black market. - Off the desk.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 7
if you do have somebody that can bring us Bob Hope for Christmas.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 8
- I tried. - That was trying, huh?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 9
we don't deserve the illustrious reputation we've tried so hard to achieve.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 10
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 11
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 12
I mean, with all this black-market action, you know, they're like piranhas.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 13
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 14
- Come on, Charlie, what is it? - I've been getting a grab right around here.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 15
Charlie, you should take maybe long weekends, huh? Try some golf.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 16
There's a lot of call for that.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 17
- Where are we gonna come up with that? - We'll give it to you in trade.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 18
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Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 20
A man of your importance shouldn't be behind a puny piece of furniture like this.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 21
A genuine, American, antique desk.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 22
Henry will be the one with the furniture polish in his hand.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 23
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 24
I don't suppose you'd care for a little refreshment this early in the day?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 25
Well, here we go. A little hair from the dragon, as it were.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 26
- Yeah, don't leave out a thing. - I bet you don't know what kind of wood it is.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 27
- Oh, the top comes off. - Ah, the top comes off.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 28
No, I don't wanna buy any watches.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 29
I'll have the truck in front of this building at 0600.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 30
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 31
Something that'll get 'em court-martialled and behind bars for 20 years.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 32
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Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 34
Why didn't they make things like they do today?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 35
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 36
- It's beautiful. - Thank you.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 37
Your lobes.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 38
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 39
How does a guy who's so bad with a needle always know right where to jab us?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 40
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I happen to know the colonel despises duck sauce on his egg roll.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 44
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 45
It so happens he looks fantastically like the man that tried to sell me a watch yesterday.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 46
MPs? Yes, sir. Maybe another time. Got to solve big case.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 47
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 48
Forget it. The truck's gone. The major ordered him out.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 49
- marketeers operating on this base. - Black marketeers? On my base?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 50
Aired 46 years ago - Sep 17, 1972

At the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital (M.A.S.H) unit in Korea, two army doctors by the names of Hawkeye Pierce and Trapper John McIntyre receive some exciting news in the mail. Their Korean house boy, Ho-John got accepted into Hawkeye's old college. Hawkeye and Trapper decide to hold a party filled with music, dancing, and alcohol to raise money for Ho-John's plane trip to the U.S. They achieve this by raffling off a weekend pass with a nurse, Lieutenant Dish for R&R in Tokyo. MORE -LESS

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 1
I'll debride the wound, then we'll go in after the spleen, okay ?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 2
But if you don't move, I'm gonna have to cut around your "" B"" cups.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 3
- The biggest one you got. - Get your seams straight. Give me a clamp.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 4
And as for my ability as a doctor,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 5
We've all had 1 2 straight hours of meatball surgery in there !
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 6
- Oh, yeah. Was that the one with the-- - Yeah, right.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 7
All right. Thanks.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 8
You guys got mail.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 9
She still thinks I got sent to Korea as part of some secret plot to cheat on her.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 10
""Dear Hawkeye, as dean of the college,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 11
""It was good hearing from you.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 12
Where are we gonna get a thousand dollars ?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 13
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 14
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Captains Pierce and McIntyre to see you, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 17
Now, what we want from you is two weekend passes so we can raise this tuition.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 18
Which nurse have you conned into doing this ?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 19
Hawkeye, that makes me crazy.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 20
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 21
Yeah, I'll tell you after I finish my lunch.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 22
You walk off with this raffle, we're gonna be able to sell tickets to your lynching.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 23
Since when are you interested in the Bible ?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 24
And a distillery !
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 25
- Oh, that's okay. - It's all right, Frank. Don't worry about it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 26
Frank'll report it to Hammond, and he'll put my butt in traction !
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 27
[ Rotors Whirring ]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 28
#Happy days are here again #
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 29
By order of the acting commanding offiicer, Major Frank Burns.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 30
- Morning. - Hey, Frank, I'm glad you got here.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 31
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 32
- [ Mutters ] - [ Hawkeye ] What's that, Frank ?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 33
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 34
You still haven't told me how I get out of...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 35
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 36
- Oh, I thought you'd heard. - Heard what ?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 37
Personally, I don't plan to work if I'm busted.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 38
What could she do to us ?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 39
Excuse me. Don't get up.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 40
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 41
we raised over 1 ,800 bucks tonight !
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 42
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Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 44
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Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 46
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 47
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 48
Those two ! They're ruining this war for all of us !
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 49
- I'm afraid we can't do that, General. - No.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 50
General, look. Hey, you can put us in the clink after.