Status
Ended
Network
CBS
SEASON
EPISODE

Season 3

Aired 44 years ago - Mar 18, 1975

Actually, we won't. One of the classic M*A*S*H episodes. Henry finally gets his discharge. While he is tying things up, Burns prepares for his new command. Henry bids a tearful adieu, but not before Klinger turns up in an outrageous tropical outfit, and gets Henry to zip him up, and he gets a kiss Margaret. He gives Radar a hug and his last order, and departs by helicopter. In the traumatic and shocking last scene, a devastated Radar announces that Henry has been killed when his plane was shot down over the Sea of Japan. MORE -LESS

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 1
and then Olive tells all about her hysterectomy.
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No. Andrew has a trombone lesson at 5:00. He's learning to play Ravel's Bolero.
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Lorraine and I are going upstairs to our room.
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- To command is your destiny. - [Giggles]
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In comes Colonel Burns.
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I oughta be coming through the front door in about three days.
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- Now she's crying. - Sir, there's a time limit on the call.
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Janie, honey, would you get Mommy back on the phone?
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Wear your dog tags.
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- That's it, sir. - Honey, I gotta go.
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[Whispering] She has a fantastic body.
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Is there one or two "Js" in "fragile," sir?
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Oh... Hey, hey, hey.
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- You saved my life. - Ah, my pleasure, Radar.
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Um, you know, my own father didn't have me until he was 63.
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This is a key chain, and the cartridge is a fob.
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- It's a Winchester. - Well, thanks, Radar.
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- Yeah, I'll bet. - Yeah. [Clears Throat]
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- Oh, try this. Try this. - This is great.
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[Laughing] Did you hear what he said?
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- I got it. - I'll tell you what, we'll flip.
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- One hell of a human being. - I got it.
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You come to a big tree. You pass the big tree.
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you know, I'm really gonna miss you guys.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 29
- with that lady war correspondent, huh? - [Both Laughing]
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[Trapper] Number one is for number two.
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I'm standing straight. The country's crooked.
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Attention!
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And in the presence of those present who have faithfully served...
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[Chuckling Continues]
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- Ahh... - The tie is silk. Handmade by a worm.
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How did you know my size?
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- Ow. - ## [Continues]
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[Applause, Cheering]
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- No. I just want to say good-bye. - Well, okay.
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- You old sky pilot, you. - Bless you, Henry Blake.
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I'll do it.
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- Two minutes till your chopper, sir. - Oh, thanks, Radar.
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[Whooping, Clapping]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 47
- #Which nobody can deny # - [All Saying Good-bye]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 48
- Have a good trip. - Take it easy, pal.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 49
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 50
Aired 44 years ago - Mar 11, 1975

Colonel Flagg blows into camp trying to obtain penicillin to barter for information. But Flagg comes down with appendicitis, and the only penicillin he gets is in the keister.

Aired 44 years ago - Mar 04, 1975

Frank buys two sets of Pearl's, one for Margaret and one for his wife. After some talk, Radar gets Hawkeye $3,000 in lost earnings, Hawkeye gives it to Mulcahy for the orphans, but then the army wants the money back. Trapper wins big at poker after using Hawkeye's watch as a stake, so Hawkeye takes his winnings to avoid a stay in the honeymoon suite of The Stockade Hilton. MORE -LESS

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 22 (S03E22) - 1
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military regulations specifically state...
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Sir, are you busy?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 22 (S03E22) - 4
I spent a week in his hometown once. Suction here.
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Been in the family for years. Found him on my doorstep.
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- This man is not to be paid. - What are you talking about?
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Oh, well, don't worry about it. It'll get better.
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I, myself, personally, am off to the Officers' Tonsil Wash Emporium and Whoopee Parlor...
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- I can't. - Or 20 privates at 50 cents each.
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Um, what is your maiden name?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 22 (S03E22) - 13
Uh, happy coat. Just your size, Major.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 22 (S03E22) - 14
[Whistles] Those are real beauts.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 22 (S03E22) - 15
Well, the major's happily married.
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You got terminal mouth, Sergeant. Deal.
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Life here is so colorless. So... blah.
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Look, I can get you a strand for 35 bucks.
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He bought cheap pearls, this major?
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- My parents made me take divine lessons. - Smart parents.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 22 (S03E22) - 21
Oh, I think you'll find this very interesting, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 22 (S03E22) - 22
Mr. Kwang, can I have a martini, please?
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I can't keep money that doesn't belong to me.
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Mr. Kwang, I'd like to buy South Korea a drink.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 22 (S03E22) - 25
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Colonel, I got a proposition to make.
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- That's terrific. - Here's a quarter for the key.
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My nerves don't sit still a minute.
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Bribery is as American as toreador pants. Colonel!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 22 (S03E22) - 31
But there's another Frank Burns. My other alter ego.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 22 (S03E22) - 32
Margaret, I could rape your nape.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 22 (S03E22) - 33
Oh, look how perfect they are.
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Whereas your common, ordinary, man-in-the-street oyster...
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All righty, boys. Once around the horn.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 22 (S03E22) - 36
- Pipe this rock, Captain. - Whoo-eee!
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You know, for a priest, you have no sense of rhythm.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 22 (S03E22) - 38
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Spare me, Father. It's makes me go Spencer Tracy all over.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 22 (S03E22) - 40
It's not terribly dry inside an oyster, Frank.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 22 (S03E22) - 41
I'm looking for your colonel, Major.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 22 (S03E22) - 42
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You're bluffing.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 22 (S03E22) - 44
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What about all the times in O.R.? The bowels we resected?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 22 (S03E22) - 46
You're right, Hawk. I'd probably blow the hand.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 22 (S03E22) - 47
- I'm Captain Sloan, Supervising Acc-Fin. - "Acc-Fin"?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 22 (S03E22) - 48
Where are the funds you thought you could swindle the United States government out of?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 22 (S03E22) - 49
I've driven the money over to Sister Theresa.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 22 (S03E22) - 50
And now you accuse me of stealing.
Aired 44 years ago - Feb 25, 1975

The camp prepares for a visit from General MacArthur. Klinger dresses as the Statue of Liberty as the General's jeep drives through the camp. MacArthur is so impressed, he salutes!

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 1
if I'm any judge of 19ths.
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- Him, here. General Douglas MacArth... - [Gasps]
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Because we've got the most impressive damn record of any medical unit in Korea!
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Radar, the publicity! The publicity!
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- You'll be famous, sir. - Yeah.
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Carry on.
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The general will arrive at exactly 1155 hours...
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and then will stop here at point "B" at precisely 1158 hours.
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Colonel Whiteman, I just want to say...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 12
- Yes? - I think the colonel might like to know...
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when the general's pipe is lit.
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The general's visit is a tribute to your unit's efficiency.
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That's just what I was thinking.
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- Does this mean Radar has to take a bath? - I hope so.
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"Duty rosters will be posted on the bulletin board. No changes will be made.
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Company...
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souvenir memorial album for the general.
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#Well, it's not Corrigidor You know it's only Korea #
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# With your corncob pipe #
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- Burning books. - Oh. Any special reason, Dr. Hitler?
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- Norman Mailer. - It's got that word in it.
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and dazed from crawling inside people trying to keep them breathing.
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grind you into a fine powder and sprinkle you on MacArthur's oatmeal!
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is a flower girl with a 5:00 shadow.
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I won't smile at him or say I'm pregnant or anything.
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My two favorite words.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 36
What do you mean, no orderlies?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 37
It's beginning to look like real army, thanks to you, Major. Darling.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 38
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I can't wait to meet him. We're practically family.
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- That's so warm, so human. - That Christmas they exchanged shrunken tribesman's heads.
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- Frank, do I dare? - Well, Margaret, you are practically family.
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- Oh, Margaret! - Oh, Doug!
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- Wilco. - Keep 'em spinning counterclockwise.
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Perfect. Hold it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 45
- That's not gin. - No, vodka. It's only a rehearsal.
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Klinger, I warned you!
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Take him away.
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General MacArthur, I bid you hail and welcome...
Aired 44 years ago - Feb 18, 1975

Hawkeye and Trapper prevent a GI from marrying a call girl who has TB, whilst trying to help a Korean soldier join his pregnant wife. Radar, of course, provides his usual invaluable help.

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 1
Oh, that's nice. He has a cleanliness fetish.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 2
He's under a lot of tension.
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So much for school.
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Fortunately, I was sent to the 121 st hospital...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 5
Also.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 6
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Just take this over to the colonel, and he'll sign your adoption papers.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 9
Wait here.
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Yes, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 11
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- Uh, hi, Docs. - McShane.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 13
- Haven't we seen her somewhere before? - Yeah, at Rosie's Bar.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 14
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- you start to lose your objectivity. - And she gets your P.X. Card.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 16
Look, kid, it's rough over here for all of us...
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All right. I'll see you, and I'll raise you...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 19
And if you don't believe me, I'll have him x-rayed.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 20
- Okay, you're the raiser. What do you say? - Uh, check.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 21
Two, three, four hearts, and a diamond. I gotta get some R and R.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 22
I know in my next life I'd want to be an officer.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 23
Some enlisted men aren't even allowed to fall in love.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 24
Don't make it sound like we're breaking up Donald O'Connor and Peggy Ryan.
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- [Shouting] - Hear that? - Sounds like a fight.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 26
This is a forgery, fella.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 27
- Colonel Blake... - Yo.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 28
I caught him climbing into a truck, and when I saw the fake pass...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 29
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I'm flattered you remember me, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 31
In conjunction with my medical practice, I am in a new business.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 32
Marriage broker. I arrange matches between Korean girls and G.I. S...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 33
but Private McShane insisted on a thousand dollars for himself.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 34
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Good. You can pass out cigars to the firing squad.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 36
I remember seeing this last night at the poker game.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 37
Hi, Frank. What are you doin'?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 38
if we could get this Korean mommy and daddy with their baby all together in the same place.
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- A 20-year-old movie. - We're getting that next week.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 40
The village is Quang Sun, east 10 miles of the main road.
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I thought so.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 42
## [Stops]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 43
Now, don't play Huck Finn with me, kid. Dr. Pak told us all about the racket.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 44
- You run to the post office for a money order. - Really, sir...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 45
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I'm afraid there's a shadow on the lung of the former future Mrs. McShane.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 47
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- You having pains? - Yes, sir.
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- What does that mean? - It means she's about to give birth.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 20 (S03E20) - 50
- Easy. I'm gonna lift you now. Easy. Oh! - Watch your head.
Aired 44 years ago - Feb 11, 1975

Hawkeye, Houlihan, and Klinger go to an aid station at the front. Working closely together under heavy fire and unsanitary medical conditions, the three return to camp with new found respect for one another.

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 1
All right, fair is fair. We'll draw straws.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 2
I wouldn't make a mockery of drawing burnt sausages out of a bed pan...
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[Chuckling]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 4
I have the personnel cards right here, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 5
Terrific. I'm knocking my brains out to get sent home.
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I got this for my interview with that shrink at H.Q. In Seoul.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 7
- You're gonna come back. You'll be all right. - Write.
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- So long, buddy. - Yeah, I'll see you soon, huh?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 9
I know you're sorry you didn't volunteer, Frank.
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When the war's over... and nothing good lasts forever...
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I thrill to the sight of a precise parade.
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frail, vulnerable, sensitive female.
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I marked the bottle. I need that stuff. It's my secret weapon.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 14
Right.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 15
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[Bang]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 17
- You'll have it changed? - Well, you're the surgeon.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 18
- [Sighs] - What?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 19
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Put 'em up on these sawhorses here.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 22
This is Snow White. How you doing, Klinger?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 23
Exploding, live shells. This is Grumpy signing off.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 24
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[Groans]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 26
Give me some more clamps, will ya?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 27
Frank, you're just sewing up an incision, not tying up the Queen Mary.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 28
It's unfair, making a surgeon work under these conditions.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 29
They keep knocking the needle around.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 30
- It's difficult. - You may have to open the wound more.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 31
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- Who is it? - Another one of your gang.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 34
- Really? - This is an officers' tent!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 35
- Then I'll turn this out. - Sir, uh, do you have a night-light?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 36
- Who's sleeping in that bed? - Goldilocks. Her number came up.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 37
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 38
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 39
Back home, my biggest decisions are whether or not to have my own bowling ball made...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 40
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 41
- He did good work. - He's a credit to his bloomers.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 42
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We did it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 44
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- You drank it all. - Radar, do you believe me?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 47
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But if you repeat this to anyone, I'll deny it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 49
Ready for the army again.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 19 (S03E19) - 50
# For it's hi, hi, hee in the hoo-hoo, ha-ha hee #
Aired 44 years ago - Feb 04, 1975

Hawkeye hits Major Burns and Houlihan is a witness. Despite Hawkeye and Trapper's claims that it wasn't intentional, Frank makes allegations against Hawkeye, and he is put in house arrest facing court martial. A female colonel is sent to inspect the nurses. When she cries "Rape!" when Burns visits her tent, Houlihan recants her story, and Burns, not Hawkeye, ends up under house arrest. MORE -LESS

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 1
# Fools rush in where angels fear to tread ##
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I better see a doctor. Is there anybody who isn't mad at me?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 3
- I apologize. - There you go. That's a good Indian.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 4
Jiminy Crickets, Frank! Do you know what has to be done to court-martial somebody?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 5
You think it's funny now, but what are you gonna do during your five years in Leavenworth?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 6
[Groans]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 7
- You'll be staying in my tent. - Oh, fair enough.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 8
- Pretty cute. Who is he? - Captain Pierce.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 9
A little number three pancake will take care of that.
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- It'll only be for a few days. - It'll be an eternity.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 12
The sheik who was just in here. Major What's-his-name.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 13
Listen, honey, take it from an old campaigner.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 14
Look out for that bar of soap, everybody."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 15
- Why'd you want your pants three inches longer? - Later!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 16
All right, go ahead, Mclntyre. Now, you said you warned Frank about the...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 17
- Uh, no, no, it doesn't sound too G.I. Make it... - "Socko."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 18
Frank, would you mind not combing your hair so loud?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 19
I can step out. I can step in. Out. In.
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Mmm! Now that's what I call church buffalo.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 22
I brought you a prisoner of war package.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 23
Oh, my. This is Friday.
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a wash cloth and four Oreo cookies.
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- What movie? What's playing? - Uh, a Gene Tierney picture I believe.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 26
Father, you're the button in the cap of kindness.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 27
Oh, yeah? Well, this is Colonel Blake calling and I want that out here by 1300 hours!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 28
The mail's three hours late and I'm expecting something kind of special.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 29
"Be a good little fella." I'll show 'em.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 30
You see, the idea is to develop a working rhythm...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 31
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- [Man] Sit down! - [Woman] You're in the picture.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 33
- I'm clean. - Sorry. I was reaching for my hanky.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 34
Don't judge him too harshly. After all, the other chap was coveting his neighbor's wife.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 35
What, what, what, what?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 36
- Get your hot dogs right here! Hot dogs! - [Screams]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 37
I need my tweezers. I have a hair in my mole.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 38
You did tell me not to let him swim the lake unless you were with us, but...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 39
[Klinger] "Congratulations, big guy. Now you are taller than she is.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 40
- Wow! - Hey, look at you!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 41
- He's at the movie right now, sir. - Oh, "nerts."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 42
Well, they give you a look of authority, Corporal. Dignity.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 43
Oh, um, I was looking for Major Houlihan.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 44
- I'm, uh, cursed with perfection. - Aw.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 45
[Sniffing] Oh, what is that?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 46
How's the movie?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 47
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Even you.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 49
We waited, sir, then we went ahead without you.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 18 (S03E18) - 50
[Whimpers, Gasps]
Aired 44 years ago - Jan 21, 1975

Dr. Borelli visits the 4077th to demonstrate his artery transplant technique. Unfortunately, being so close to the front at the 4077th causes Borelli's drinking problem to interfere at the worst time - when a patient needs the transplant.

Aired 44 years ago - Jan 14, 1975

Camp activities include Henry's nervous delivery of a sex lecture, with Hawkeye's and Trapper's heckling, a Shirley Temple movie, and a cookout.

Aired 44 years ago - Jan 07, 1975

The camp is under fire and is swamped with wounded. They are being attacked by their own artillery in a frightening "friendly fire" incident. Trapper and Margaret get trapped in the Supply Tent together. Frank's jealousy of Trapper drives him to propose to Margaret.

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 1
Isn't it something? Now I know what they mean by a "floating crap table."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 2
I hope my American Legion post doesn't find out about this.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 3
Foreigners! Why are there so many of them in a war?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 4
- [Frank] Give me a towel! - Put a blanket over that window!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 5
- [Doctors, Nurses Shouting] - [Korean Soldier Moaning]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 6
Colonel, if you can hear me,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 7
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- You all right, Father? - Come on, Father.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 9
Mommy came into the kitchen and said, "What the hell's going on in here?"
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 10
Boy, this really hurts.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 11
[Trapper] Get one of your own. Go into business for yourself.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 12
- Big "booby"? - Right.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 13
It seems to me this comes under the heading of duty for enlisted personnel.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 14
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Okay, quick! Towards the minefield!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 16
- No more booby? - Booby all gone.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 17
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but they're all at "The Bob Hope Show."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 19
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I need help. The door to the supply room is jammed.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 21
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[Grunts] You are strong.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 23
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- Come on. Let me try. - We're trapped!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 25
I'm so embarrassed.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 26
- Do you mind? - No.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 27
The door's jammed!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 28
All that energy wasted on a door.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 29
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Y-You see, his mother didn't want him to keep it,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 31
- Is, uh, Major Houlihan here? - Down in front!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 32
Oh, my uncle in Texarkana had the same thing with a mule.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 33
You're just saying 196 degrees so you can get under the same blanket with me.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 34
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and we made 196 degrees, and that's all there was to it!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 37
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I want your word that nothing went on between you and Major Houlihan.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 39
- Terrific. - It's the story of a woman...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 40
We were exhausted. We slept. I told you.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 41
I should have known he'd talk dirty to you in Spanish.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 42
What am I to you, anyway?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 43
Margaret, I realized when you were in the supply room with him...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 44
- Say it again, Frank. - What? What?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 45
with Marilyn Maxwell, Jerry Colonna, Les Brown and his Band of Renown,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 46
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 47
[Seoul City Sue] You know who's romancing them at home every night?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 48
Another Harry repairs the golf carts.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 49
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 50
I don't really know what you're talking about.
Aired 44 years ago - Dec 31, 1974

A Greek Colonel thanks the 4077th by giving them food and drink for an Easter celebration. Bu the feast is foiled when softhearted Radar saves the main course from the spit - a lamb, which Radar tricks Henry into giving a medical discharge and sends home to Ottumwa, Iowa. Thus, Hawkeye and Trapper invent the famed Spam Lamb! Meanwhile, a soldier who had shot himself to get out of the army confesses to Frank, thinking he is Father Mulcahy. MORE -LESS

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 1
[Hawkeye Narrating] Dear Dad: The wounded keep coming and coming.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 2
to Plato, Plutarch, Aristotle, Socrates.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 3
handed down concepts that are in use today.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 4
Of course, they didn't make temple calls.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 5
- I've seen worse. - Will it have to come off?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 6
I guess it's the same as cows lying down on all fours just before it rains.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 7
Oh, sir, there's a Colonel Andropolis to see you.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 8
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Oh, ah. [Chuckles]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 10
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Uh, grape leaves, lamb, moussaka.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 12
A word about today's lunch: Don't.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 13
For anyone to shoot him that close, they'd have to both be inside the same uniform.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 14
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Okay.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 17
Oh, no, not again.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 18
Okay, stop. Stop!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 19
[Reciting Serial Number In Greek]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 20
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If you'd studied at all, Radar, you'd know that the Greeks invented the Edible complex.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 22
- Aren't you gonna stop him? - Not until the skin is roasted a crispy brown...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 23
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because you asked for it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 25
Well, I'm certainly glad Major Houlihan's in Tokyo and not here to witness this.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 26
You leave me no choice but to register a formal complaint with Father Mulcahy...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 27
I'm your friend. Come here.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 28
Now, listen. Now, you gotta trust me.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 29
I gotta inject the, uh, rear of your behind.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 30
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Why, you little scum, you.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 33
Let's have your name and serial number.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 34
Uh, right, right. Okay. Thanks again, Colonel.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 35
Uh, well, one paper was to complain that we haven't received...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 36
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- But he is out. - Can we help? Just fill this in.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 39
Well, you are just as much to blame.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 40
He told me. Chapman.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 41
- And you tripped him. - Hold it. So?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 42
- Probably get ten years. - Maybe 20.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 43
One of these days. Boy!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 44
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- and now the damn lamb's flown the coop. - Now, that's a pretty neat trick.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 46
Well, I don't want you to get in trouble, sir, but, uh, it's been set free.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 47
I didn't want to see him killed, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 48
I may be losing my mind.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 49
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 50
Aired 44 years ago - Dec 10, 1974

A local dog bites Radar, and the camp conducts a search to find the pooch, so that Radar doesn't have to undergo a series of painful rabies vaccinations. Hawkeye defies Frank, to take care of a GI who's suffering from a case of hysterical paralysis.

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 1
are the two biggest numbers on the Korean hit parade.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 2
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and when the bell rings, Trapper will come over and beat your brains out.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 4
the tanks, I guess.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 5
He goes to Tokyo, and that's an order.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 6
Been losing screws and clickin' his heels ever since.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 7
Listen, I'd love for you to come up here and try your new therapy on him.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 8
Okay, I'll try.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 9
- Fine. You want to act it out or whisper it in my ear? - It's about Corporal Travis.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 10
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Personally, mine is at 2:00, 4:00 and 6:00 every day.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 14
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you're gonna get yourself a good job as a doorstop!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 16
Otherwise, you're gonna be a pretty big papoose for somebody's backpack!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 17
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But if I shake hands with one more farmer, I'll probably be elected to office.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 19
- How's your hand? - It's okay.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 20
And it looks like Ike's got this nomination all sewn up.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 21
- You haven't seen him, huh? - I don't think so.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 22
- Uh, what'd he say? What'd he say? - "K-Kay... Kay koom moouh."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 23
It's a very common dish among our older people.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 24
- Wait a minute. We're still not out of the woods, Radar. - What do you mean?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 25
Yes, ma'am.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 26
Well, all right, but rest assured, I won't listen to a word I read.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 27
"laying down your life, etcetera, so may not have time to write back.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 28
"That's probably why everyone tells me I'm sweet. Ha ha.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 29
The "Diddy Bo Diddy" thing?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 30
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 31
"S-W-A-K, Wanda Nell.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 32
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 33
- I swear it's a word. I swear it on Frank's life. - "Vailness"?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 34
Okay, okay. What I need is another drink.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 35
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 36
just write it down and put it on my desk where I can't find it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 37
- We're just following Sid Freedman's advice. - Sid's the best.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 38
and send him back to a nice, clean hospital, it just deepens the guilt.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 39
Aw, Frank, you're not gonna call your mother again?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 40
My wife says I'm easy to talk to... whenever we're talkin'.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 41
That's where I interned when I wasn't tryin' to sneak into the ballpark.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 42
[Moans]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 43
- You sure? - He's on his way to the R.O.K.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 44
where the key to the bottom of my liquor cabinet might be?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 45
I'll request one for you right away.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 46
Those tanks, they just kept coming and coming...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 47
I really tried...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 48
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 49
[Dog Barks]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 50
Just gonna ease over... nice and friendly...
Aired 44 years ago - Dec 03, 1974

Hawkeye records a letter to his dad, detailing the exploits of a mad Turkish soldier who calls Hawkeye a "damn good Joe," the unfortunate loss of the corpse of a Luxembourg soldier (who turns out not to be dead), Lt. Henri-Batiste LeClerc, and of a gun-happy officer.

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 1
- What about him? - Leave him. He can wait.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 2
[Shouting In Foreign Language]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 3
- [Shouts] - Right.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 4
- I'm sorry, Major. - What happened to saluting, Corporal?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 5
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 6
I'd appreciate some help right now.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 7
Now.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 8
Just stay right here and keep an eye on this man.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 9
Only surgical personnel can go in there, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 10
I tell you, he threatened me with a gun!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 11
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 12
And he's gonna get top priority, right?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 13
Meanwhile, your friend will be looked at by Colonel Blake and Major Chicken Lover.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 14
Oh, good for you. The country's littered with butts as it is.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 15
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 16
the war's not some big geopolitical conflict between nations and ideologies.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 17
We're up to our bottoms in other people's bottoms here.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 18
Yeah. I sure can see what you mean.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 19
We wouldn't want his credit card to go off.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 20
Oh, for Pete's sake.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 21
- Why don't we all go to Berlitz and find out? - He's your patient! Get him!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 22
- Mayday! - 99, 98...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 23
All of us: The kids, the dog...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 24
[Radar] Right in here, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 25
One of my men, Lt. Henri Batiste LeClerq...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 26
Oh? Oh, I'm sorry.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 27
that I recover the body for appropriate military honors.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 28
I will not leave here without him.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 29
suggesting the war be declared a draw.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 30
Uh, five parts gin and one moment's silence for the vermouth.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 31
Okay. Clamp.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 32
- How can you tell? - I'll get your bag.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 33
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 34
Well, they're certainly gonna get my Christmas card business.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 35
Whatever it is, I love it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 36
I think he just wants to get back to his outfit so he can kill more Chinese.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 37
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 38
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 39
- [Smith] What did he do? - Nothing! Mm!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 40
Boy, you guys at the front... You think you own the war.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 41
Yeah, Klinger: Mine.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 42
And you jeep him out of camp, but you won't get more than half a mile...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 43
- Frank, would you do me a favor? - Sure.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 44
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 45
maybe we could perform a brief ceremony honoring his loss.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 46
So you can knock off the heroics and drop the fowling piece.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 47
Corpsman!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 48
Lost but not least...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 49
##[Piano Continues]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 50
Aired 44 years ago - Nov 26, 1974

Sick and tired of having liver and fish for an 11-day stretch, Hawkeye, driven near to insanity, starts a riot in the mess tent. He and Trapper then orders spare ribs and sauce from the best place he ever had them, in Chicago. Trapper calls a woman he spent a weekend with to pick up the ribs, and then they get choppered in. Unfortunately, right as they're sitting down to eat, wounded arrive, and Hawkeye is forced to postpone sinking his teeth into his beloved ribs. MORE -LESS

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 1
I've eaten a river of liver and an ocean of fish!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 2
[All Chanting] We want something else! We want something else!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 3
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 4
Eleven straight days, Henry.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 5
- Trade the athletic supporters. - And see if we can't trade those athletic supporters?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 6
A flamboyant, devil-may-care yet introspective sauce.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 7
I have barbecue deficiency. Don't you get the clinical picture?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 8
It was near the Dearborn Street station.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 9
I'll get 'em. Somehow.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 10
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 11
- Mm. - [Muffled Groaning]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 12
Close enough.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 13
- Radar! Get on the phone. - Don't shoot!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 14
"Hog Butcher for the world, Tool Maker, Stacker of Wheat...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 15
- "Give me your tired, your poor, your coleslaw." - Sparky?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 16
- Better than sex. - I don't know how good sex is.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 17
- With sparerib clusters. - Okay, pal! I'll take it from here!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 18
Right. The place that Bob Hope comes to all the time.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 19
- I love her. - It's a he.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 20
and I need to know something:
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 21
I got it engraved on my tongue. Listen, you got a telephone book there?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 22
That's a lovely name. One of my daughters is called Resnick.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 23
This is it, Radar. We're approaching nirvana.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 24
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 25
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 26
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 27
- Oral sensation. - You're seeing the real me.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 28
- The rest is downhill. - So is your head.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 29
- [Trapper] There's an interesting couple. - [Hawkeye] Tillie and Mac.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 30
I apologize, Klinger, from the heart of my bottom.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 31
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 32
It's done. Won't cost you a dime.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 33
And I expect you to "un-succotash" my stole, sir!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 34
Mildred. That's right. Mildred Feeney.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 35
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 36
No, I'm not actually in Chicago now. A little bit west of there.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 37
- Lay it on her, will ya? - What, baby?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 38
at Midway Airport.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 39
Anatomy practice, right.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 40
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 41
- "Critical..." - "Handle with Care. Highly Infectious."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 42
They're in a supply depot down in Ouijongbu.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 43
- Me and the ribs, we're all in Korea! - Let's eat!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 44
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 45
cocky little nurse at your outfit.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 46
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 47
And you want me to find one insignificant little box of med supplies.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 48
If I help one person, I have to help everybody.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 49
Nobody cut requisition orders on this.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 50
I wasn't gonna say anything, but this little supermarket of yours isn't all that clean.
Aired 44 years ago - Nov 19, 1974

The nurses are evacuated when the threat of an enemy parachute drop arises. Hawkeye and Trapper try to enliven everyone's spirits whilst they are gone. Hawkeye: "The plot thins. Watch the cake sue for malpractice when Frank cuts into it."

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 1
I'm not finking, Major. I'm not gonna have you chain some poor little nurse to her cot...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 2
Speaking man-to-man, Colonel, I realize the war unhinges us all.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 3
- #And it won't be long # - #And it won't be long #
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 4
Hey, Calvin, Trap.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 5
- Believe me, we're unhappier. - Because we're taller.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 6
Hup, two, three, four. Hup, two, three, four.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 7
Detail dig! Two, three, four!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 8
One hour till the nurses go.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 9
- What do you want? - Major Burns says he'll be detained a little late.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 10
- No. She's 37. - Don't slam the door.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 11
- What thing? - My tongue.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 12
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 13
Oh, Margaret! To think I won't have this neck to nuzzle...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 14
When we've spent all this time being so embodied.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 15
There's six months' haircuts in there.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 16
If anything should happen... if we never see each other again...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 17
- Captain. - Major.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 18
Major.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 19
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 20
a very dry martini.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 21
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 22
He says he's gonna stay that way until the nurses come back.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 23
or I'll give you a nose job from the inside.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 24
- Give me a beer, Mr. Kwak. - If they come back.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 25
- ## [Strumming Melody] - Dry, Mr. Kwak.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 26
# Now, wouldn't that be funny #
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 27
# Their sight, their smell their sound #
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 28
#Now, wouldn't that be funny #
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 29
Oh. Yeah, okay. I got it. Right.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 30
I think mine have started already, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 31
All available personnel will report to the O.R. To help with nursing chores.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 32
- [Henry Scolds, Indistinct] - Just look this way, Father, where the blood is.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 33
- My kingdom for a nurse. - I'm doing my best.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 34
- Thataboy. - Three-O silk on a cutting needle, Mr. Kwang.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 35
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 36
Sorry, Margaret.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 37
You're bigger than they are, Frank. We both know that.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 38
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 39
I've gotta go now, darling. I love you.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 40
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 41
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 42
If this belongs to Frank, you can be sure it's not a girlie movie.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 43
- [Trapper] Don't stand in the light. - [Hawkeye] You heartbreaker.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 44
Come on. Get out of the way.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 45
- [Trapper] Would you look at that smile? - [Hawkeye] That can be cured.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 46
- [Hawkeye] This is the happiest day of her life. - [Trapper Laughs]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 47
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 48
[Hawkeye] That's the bride. Oh, good. Lovely.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 49
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 50
[Imitating Stuttering] Be-dee, be-dee... That's all, folks.
Aired 44 years ago - Nov 12, 1974

Henry's departure to Tokyo leaves Major Burns in charge of the 4077th. He declares total prohibition of alcohol, which leads to a near riot amongst the camp, especially from Hawkeye and Trapper.

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 1
No movie. No soft personnel.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 2
I'm in command until Colonel Blake's absence is replaced with his presence.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 3
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 4
Mother's milk.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 5
We do not have a drinking problem.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 6
"Do you sometimes gulp drinks?"
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 7
- The answer to question number three is no. - There's just no question.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 8
We need a drink!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 9
illud obtuli sit...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 10
Oh, Klinger. I don't know what I'd do without you.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 11
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 12
I'm sorry your still is broken, Hawkeye.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 13
I'm sorry I can't help you.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 14
by singing hymn 216 on page 50 of your green book.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 15
Oh, Frank, every day you remind me more and more of Dad.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 16
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 17
These childish, silly reasons for their drinking.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 18
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 19
Don't take away my little "nippy" bottle.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 20
- Well? What is it? - The daily report needs to be signed, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 21
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 22
Alcohol, alcohol, alcohol.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 23
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 24
[Gasps]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 25
Shot? This is just medicine.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 26
- Oh, no, sir. - You can tell the truth. They hate me, don't they?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 27
# So I could say hello to Mother every day ##
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 28
# Come on in, take off your skin and rattle around... #
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 29
- Don't tell anybody. - Don't tell anyone.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 30
- [Hawkeye] Days. - Days.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 31
From now on, anyone... anyone caught with any kind of intoxicating beverage...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 32
Have you ever given a lecture on temperance, Father? On the evils of drink?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 33
One was from Cleveland, ostensibly...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 34
- Father... - Broke his wristwatch and everything.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 35
It'll be a general order. No one will be excused.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 36
I don't have three hands. Ask a nurse to do it, Doctor!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 37
I'm not worthy of you, Frank.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 38
No personnel will be excepted...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 39
Big deal.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 40
Field and Stream. How can you read this stuff?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 41
- I'm a slob? - Yeah!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 42
If I thought that, I'd rent myself out to a firing squad.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 43
Already? I can't believe it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 44
- You have anything around here? - Oh. In my desk...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 45
Frank, what a turnout.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 46
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 47
[Knocking On Door]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 48
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 49
[Clears Throat] It shall be a statute forever throughout your generations. "
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 50
It's rather warm in here.
Aired 44 years ago - Oct 29, 1974

Mail from home worries Henry that Lorraine may be seeing other men. Father Mulcahy presides over a Jewish circumcision ceremony for the Korean-born son of a US GI.

Aired 45 years ago - Oct 22, 1974

Trapper gets an ulcer and a ticket home. Unfortunately, his going-away party is spoiled by a new Army regulation, which forces him to stay.

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 1
- Send them in. - Step behind the screen and drop your pants.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 2
serving your Uncle Sam and entitled to dignity.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 3
Further, they can do nothing, nothing, when you are alone with them...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 4
He's scheduled to do my physical. Fat chance.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 5
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 6
Does this mean my taste buds have been raped?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 7
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 8
Oh, yes, the physical.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 9
- Ah. Ah. - Ah.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 10
All right. Stand with your little feet together.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 11
I know how to breathe hard, Doctor.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 12
- You're also getting a little flanky. - You're crazy.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 13
Bare naked, sir?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 14
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 15
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 16
Oh, I washed my hands first, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 17
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 18
Well, not everybody is Major Houlihan, Frank.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 19
The ink is still wet where you touched it up.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 20
Refusing a checkup? It doesn't make sense. It's basic.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 21
but I don't want it diagnosed here because I don't want to be treated in this pigpen.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 22
I've got heartburn that would light up the city ofToledo.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 23
You've got a million-dollar hole in your belly.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 24
Before you know it, you'll be home sleeping on the couch...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 25
Good boy. Radar.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 26
- Daddy's home. - I bet they've grown.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 27
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 28
No, Frank. What does it mean?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 29
- Why so irritable, princess? - I'm not irritable, Frank.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 30
of fat.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 31
You're all nice and round and mushy and soft.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 32
I don't think I can sleep on clean sheets anymore.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 33
Sirs, you're looking at a dying man.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 34
- Bye, Klinger. - "Bye, Klinger."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 35
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 36
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 37
Well, not really shorthand, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 38
No, it's a message from H.Q.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 39
No.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 40
Look, Radar, don't say anything about this to anybody, okay? I'll take care of it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 41
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 42
I don't go out with married men, Colonel.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 43
Well, we knew he'd leave us one day.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 44
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 45
You "aminal."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 46
- Frank. We're having a little entertainment later. - Mm-hmm. Oh, good.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 47
And every time you look when I'm looking, I watch something else...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 48
Yo.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 49
good companion.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 50
Aired 45 years ago - Oct 15, 1974

When spring arrives, Klinger gets word from home that his sweetheart back in Toledo wants to marry him. Henry arranges for Father Mulcahy to do this over short wave radio. Radar falls in love with a nurse, while a grateful patient won't leave Hawkeye alone, and even threatens Major Burns.

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 1
Save mine. And take my beautiful day. I'm having it later.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 2
Uh, excuse me. Isn't this, uh, Lieutenant Simmons's tent?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 3
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 4
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 5
Never have so many suffered so much so so few could be so happy.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 6
"Breathless, we flung us on the windy hill."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 7
I thought it might be important. I think it's from, uh...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 8
"They have known shame, who loved unloved.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 9
- Sorry I had to wake you. - That's all right, Father.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 10
Anything you want to talk about, soldier?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 11
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 12
And I'm gonna need that back by tonight.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 13
[Klinger] Colonel Blake.!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 14
Sir, you gotta let me go, sir. I just have to get married.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 15
I'm saying you're so desperate to get out of Korea, you'd have yourself buried...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 16
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 17
So, uh, have you ever had cholera...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 18
- That's my marine, right? - How'd you guess?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 19
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 20
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 21
Fellas, you just sit on down and relax and I'll handle everything.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 22
"Dear Dad, I'm bringing home a marine.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 23
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 24
Yeah, uh, Lieutenant Simmons.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 25
Uh, no, it was a...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 26
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 27
All righty, BS2XYZ, I gotcha.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 28
Now he's gonna pick us up on his shortwave...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 29
Go get shaved and get into your gown.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 30
Oh, excuse me, Lieutenant. Uh, I'm measuring the camp.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 31
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 32
- Why? Do you? - Oh, yeah.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 33
Now, I'm going to count to five, and I want you to hand over that unauthorized cat.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 34
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 35
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 36
Well, don't worry, Doc. I'll get you out of here quicker than you can shake a stick.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 37
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 38
- [Simmons] Who is it? - Uh, Corporal O'Reilly.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 39
Well, uh, we just got a new shipment in...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 40
Well, sit down. Read me a poem.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 41
Oh, here's one. [Clears Throat]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 42
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 43
I didn't see anything. Honest.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 44
take this, uh, man...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 45
- Well? - Just keep your garters on, Klinger.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 46
It's from the States. My grandfather was buried in this.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 47
Lady, you are a piece of corn bread.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 48
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 49
- Oh, shut up, Major. - Did you hear that?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 50
That pervert marrying no one, a cat living in the hospital...
Aired 45 years ago - Oct 08, 1974

The OR is filled with more wounded than the unit can handle. Hawkeye does heart massage on a soldier, which saves his life, but he dies four hours later. Sidney Freedman drops in during the deluge, and is dragged into the fray by Hawkeye.

Aired 45 years ago - Oct 01, 1974

General 'Iron Guts' Kelly arrives for an inspection, and ends up dying in Margaret's tent. Hawkeye and Trapper help the General's aide smuggle him out of camp. The next day he is reported killed at the front, as that is where he would have wanted to die.

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 1
Thank you, General. That's mighty nice.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 2
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 3
Give me some suction here, Mr. Kwang.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 4
- Try to look busy for the general. - Bleed at attention, please.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 5
What seems to be wrong with this soldier?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 6
And what medical unit would be complete...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 7
That's all right. Likewise, I'm sure.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 8
and I'll have what the general and colonel are having.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 9
- Thank you. - [Coughing]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 10
Oh, I'm sorry, General. I got it all brass-backwards.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 11
General, I wonder if I might take a snapshot for my scrapbook.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 12
- Oh! Your gun is digging into my thigh. - Lucky gun.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 13
Give it a good going-over. Take your time, a couple ofhours at least.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 14
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 15
Oh, that won't be necessary.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 16
General. Major.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 17
I need your help. I'm in trouble. Terrible trouble.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 18
[Man] Hey, Doc.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 19
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 20
- Did you try to resuscitate him? - How do you think he died?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 21
I've got a terrible headache.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 22
- What's going on? - Nothing's going on, Frank. I just couldn't sleep.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 23
- Come again, Frank. - Good night, Frank.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 24
To the V.I.P. Tent.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 25
Okay. Come on.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 26
- He's dead. - Dead? What...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 27
- Um... - We'd rather not say.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 28
until that one shell with his name on it caught up with him.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 29
but it's got to appear as though he died more meaningfully.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 30
- That's different. - Then we refuse.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 31
You know where we can hire 500 Indians and a wagon train?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 32
We'll be the ones with our hands on the Bible.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 33
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 34
Let's get on the stick.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 35
Uh, Eighth Army, 73rd Artillery, "G" Sector?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 36
- It's not for me. It's for the general. - Oh.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 37
Yeah? Uh, oh, right.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 38
Well, call around. This is a war.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 39
- We once took a cadaver to a football game. - You're kidding.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 40
What do you mean, "Me who?" When I say "It's me"? How many me's do you know?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 41
- I saw them. - They're not here.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 42
A dead body. Now, that's not their job.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 43
- Margaret, what is this? - What is this? What this?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 44
Frank, my headache is leaking out of my ears.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 45
so he asked if he could come over and look at mine.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 46
longitude 70, latitude 27.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 47
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 48
Well, it just pulled out. We thought you took it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 49
You can't do that. That's restraint of trade.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 50
You vixen.
Aired 45 years ago - Sep 24, 1974

While Henry is away in Seoul, Burns and Houlihan are in charge, and Hawkeye is the officer of the day. His refusal to release a wounded Korean soldier, wanted by US Intelligence, leads to a confrontation with Colonel Flagg.

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 1
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 2
Aah!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 3
You're a disgrace to American man- and womanhood.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 4
I said no! Corporal, make a note.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 5
I hope you've enjoyed it as much as I've enjoyed inspecting you.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 6
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 7
Tough tilly. Up, up, up!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 8
This morning was a very good year.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 9
Very amusing.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 10
When I got into this war, I had a very clear understanding with the Pentagon.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 11
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 12
I think I'll start with the girls.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 13
- Aw, come on, Hawk. - You're free too.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 14
You probably wanna handle that personally.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 15
I would certainly think so. What was it yesterday?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 16
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 17
- This is his I.D. Card. - [Groaning]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 18
Harry Truman number one G.I. Joe.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 19
Colonel Flagg, our friendly, undercover, overanxious intelligence man.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 20
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 21
Caught him near an ammo dump. Taking him to Seoul.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 22
- Honored, sir. - Honored.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 23
He's got a wounded North Korean prisoner, prepped and ready.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 24
Their pictures are in the post office in the juvenile section.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 25
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 26
What are you trying to do to me, Klinger? I'm officer of the day.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 27
When the colonel comes back, I'll ask him about a pass for you.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 28
Why don't you go to bars and roll an officer like other children?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 29
Can you identify yourself?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 30
Just do your job, I'll do mine, mister.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 31
I have to get to Seoul so we can execute him over the weekend.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 32
- [Knock At Door] - One second.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 33
Klinger. Klinger, where did your mother and I go wrong?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 34
Saline.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 35
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 36
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 37
Would you mind turning your head, please?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 38
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 39
Boy, this card's getting a workout today. Radar?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 40
It was my postgraduate specialty... Blindfold and Last Cigarette 102.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 41
- I'm with you, Rocky. - Stall?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 42
Tough luck. He's down in Tokyo attending a series of medical conferences.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 43
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 44
Hawkeye, can I see you? Uh, sir, it's important.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 45
You gonna sign out my prisoner?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 46
[Imitating German Accent] You are being foolish. We have ways of making you talk.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 47
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 48
- He could die between here and Seoul. - I'll take that chance.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 49
Get off the pot, Major. Lean on 'em.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 50
Major Burns, I just thought of something.
Aired 45 years ago - Sep 17, 1974

As Hawkeye and Trapper are planning to leave for Tokyo, an unusual offer to swap POW patients between the Chinese and the 4077th comes in. Henry, after much debate, agrees to send Hawkeye, Trapper, Frank, Radar, and Klinger into enemy territory. Frank almost botches the swap when he brings a squirt gun to the exchange. Fortunately, the Chinese Dr. Lin Tam has a sense of humor; he went to the University of Illinois, after all. MORE -LESS

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 1
- We're off to see the wizard. - And who's that?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 2
Understandably, there's some gaps in my education.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 3
Oh, I thought you were signaling a left and a right turn.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 4
We're kind of off the Daichi, Henry. Too near the railroad. Noisy.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 5
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah. Now, they've got this package for me.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 6
Henry, you have all the subtlety of a community bedpan.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 7
- why I was signing them either. - Signing.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 8
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 9
[Honking]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 10
Boy, I'd sure love to send my hips out for a walk.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 11
This guy's got a simple laceration. He can wait.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 12
- Or to be in front of it. - Or both.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 13
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 14
Oh, you teaching me medicine now? [Snorts] That's rich.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 15
I remind you, Captain Pierce, army standard triage procedure...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 16
Allen Jenkins played the bus driver.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 17
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 18
We did, um, 18 laporotomies, 21 busted femurs...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 19
Saturdays and Sundays off, and we don't have to do windows.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 20
No, they've got nine shot-up G.I. S on their side of the line...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 21
- It's a trap! - Absolutely. They're savages.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 22
Well, I'm afraid this is what you call your command decision.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 23
Wait. Just a minute. Hold it, hold it, hold it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 24
Little Feet for Women, by Louisa May Alcott.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 25
That can't be 20 miles from their border.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 26
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 27
- Rape a doctor? - I'll hit him with my purse.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 28
Yeah, but if it's not, if you guys get killed...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 29
- We would. - That's right. She and me. We.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 30
They're a pair of fools for going. Grandstand play, that's what it is.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 31
But, uh, what about the danger?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 32
Frank, there isn't a man in this war who isn't afraid.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 33
- Just in case. - But they said not to, not even sidearms.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 34
Lt. Colonel Alvin F. Houlihan, regular army."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 35
Come on, George.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 36
- Really, Klinger? - [Hawkeye] Terrific.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 37
We knew you'd want to be where the action is, ya big monkey.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 38
- Right on the ball. - Lord, bless this mission of mercy.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 39
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 40
#East, maybe east and west maybe west #
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 41
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 42
Okay, keep your eyes open. We're getting close.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 43
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 44
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 45
Frank, if they find that gun on you, they're gonna play mah-jongg with our teeth later.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 46
- Keep it out of sight. - I'd like to see my wife again.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 47
Uh, we're doctors too... all three of us... we three. Hi.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 48
We'd better do it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 49
What's the matter with you guys? You gonna side with me or the R-E-D?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 50
Aired 45 years ago - Sep 10, 1974

The MASH 4077 is visted by General Steele. He wishes to move the camp 5 miles down the road. Hawkeye and Henry are charged with mutiny. And Hawkeye is also charged with impersonating a reporter.

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 1
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 2
- Mortars, Marty? - Outside ofTaejon, Trap.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 3
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 4
He ought to be in the soda shop, reading dirty magazines.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 5
Let him read it. I haven't seen a sports page in months.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 6
carved from a pound cake his mother sent him six months ago."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 7
I mean, it's strictly G.I. From now on.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 8
General Steele is gonna headquarter here for a week.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 9
What about the pigsty we live in? My part is neat and tidy.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 10
- How's he doing? - Stable, Doctor.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 11
- Baden-Baden in July? - Uh-uh.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 12
"TheJoy of Nudity." [Scoffs]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 13
- General Steele is arriving at 1000 hours. - That's only a few minutes.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 14
## [Whistling Continues]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 15
- Hold it. - What is it?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 16
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 17
I read about these new snaps in the, uh, snap bulletin I got there.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 18
- Just the gang, sir. - [Softly] Call formation.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 19
- Something, General? - I'm a bit surprised.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 20
Trim the hair in your nose! Got that, Sergeant Donovan?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 21
This is our chaplain, Lieutenant Father Mulcahy.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 22
- The backbone of the service. Where are you from, son? - Iowa, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 23
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 24
Well, I got drafted as soon as I could.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 25
- How do you feel? - So-so.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 26
- You have a fantastic grasp of the obvious. - Love your uniform.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 27
- Oh! Thank you, Radar. - Yeah.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 28
Hey, the word's out that general's a little bit "el wacko."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 29
Beautifully prepared, an apple in its mouth and all.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 30
Let me put it to you this way. Have you ever seen a bird...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 31
- Camaraderie. - Precisely.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 32
- You wanna stop and have another saltine? - Hawkeye?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 33
This is our supply room, General. Aw, Pierce!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 34
Ah, a member of the Fourth Estate.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 35
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 36
Best thing since the Gatling gun.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 37
you didn't come to dinner and then we come in here and find you horsing around with a girl!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 38
Gimme a break. I'm starvin'.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 39
- You should've called me sooner, sir. - Good pretzels.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 40
- Twenty minutes, General. - And what is your fuel consumption?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 41
MASH means Mobile Army Surgical Hospital, and mobile you shall be!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 42
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 43
That general is nuts! I've seen that look in every Hitchcock movie.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 44
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 45
I can't disobey an order. I mean, unless somebody gives me an order to do it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 46
This is it. We move tomorrow. That's an order.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 47
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 48
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 49
[Jeep Siren Wailing]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 50
- You bring that chopper back down here! - Too late, General.