Status
Ended
Network
CBS
SEASON
EPISODE

Season 2

Aired 45 years ago - Mar 02, 1974

A classic episode in which Colonel Flagg and another secret agent from another intelligence agency come to the 4077th to keep their eyes on one another and the camp. Hawkeye and Trapper trick them both into thinking that Burns is a traitor - one thinks he's a fascist, the other thinks he's a communist. Vinny Pratt, a friend of Trapper's turns up.

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 24 (S02E24) - 1
Colonel, I want to talk to you in private, without the corporal.
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- Colonel. - Colonel?
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That damn chopper crash may have ruined a very sensitive mission.
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And don't use "Louise." I'll need that next week in Tokyo.
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I mean, I, uh... Gee, could... could I just look at the cards again?
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You'll never know what hit you.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 24 (S02E24) - 9
You've been giving the wall a physical again, Radar?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 24 (S02E24) - 10
No, really. I heard him tell Colonel Blake to keep it quiet,
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- Something in short supply here. - Amen.
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Well, that's what I'm here to find out...
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There must be something pretty big cooking here for them to send Flagg.
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Well, then I'm Captain Stone. Engineer.
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My people wanna know what Flagg's people are up to.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 24 (S02E24) - 19
Full cooperation, Colonel.
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the electric blanket control in Room 312 was a microphone.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 24 (S02E24) - 21
We've got files on people who haven't been born yet.
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- Uh-huh. - Tell Captain Stone I'll see him next.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 24 (S02E24) - 24
My name is not Flagg. Ask your C.O. It's Carter.
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- Hmm. Probably. - I'm not leaving till I find out what.
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"Mary had a little lamb. Stop.
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Uh, okay.
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I hate to tell you this, Mary, but your dog has fleas.
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- Then you're the only one. - Go, son.
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A lot you care.
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Corps of Engineers believes that army hospitals can not only be mobile...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 24 (S02E24) - 34
That's true. I was among those who said this hospital would never fly.
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- That's right. - Oh, yeah.
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It's called breaking and entering.
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I think I can trust you. I'm...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 24 (S02E24) - 39
He's an engineer. You're crazy, buddy. [Chuckling]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 24 (S02E24) - 40
just because they showed off by saving more lives.
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Not a whole lot, sir.
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He said he was gonna shove nickels up my nose.
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[Flagg] Burns, get up! Let's go, mister!
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Arrest me? What for, for heaven's sake?
Aired 45 years ago - Feb 23, 1974

The arrival of a new batch of mail leaves Trapper depressed, and thinking of desertion, despite Hawkeye's efforts to dissuade him. Meanwhile, Hawkeye learns that he has successfully tricked Frank into buying stocks in a fictitious company, Pioneer Aviation.

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 23 (S02E23) - 1
The topping is about two inches of frosting, and that cake is as light as air.
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Here's a vet bill. Two hundred and thirty-six dollars for treating a fifteen-year-old cat.
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I knew you'd understand.
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- [Continues Mumbling] - He got a letter written in "mumble."
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We're thinking of chasing only drinking women. Eliminates one process.
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If you had any brains, you'd know war always increases stock prices.
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My great-grandfather, Tombstone Pierce, made his fortune selling whiskey and hors d'oeuvres...
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Oh, go soak your head.
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- How can you be sure he'll find it? - Quite simple. I'll hide it.
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Come in, Major Burns.
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I sent away for these sheer hose and these spike heels...
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- Mrs. Frank Burns. - Where?
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but to be rich, you've got to be a lot "weller" than only "well," no matter how swell "well" is.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 23 (S02E23) - 14
and you can see what each little toe is up to.
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- Sir, Corporal Klinger wants to see you. - Oh, no. Not Klinger.
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Klinger...
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It's a letter from my mother.
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"If he knew I was writing to you, he'd be very angry.
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"are making the paper soggy and hard to write on.
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Father dying last year.
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Older sister dying and mother pregnant.
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Yes, sir. I don't deserve to be in the army.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 23 (S02E23) - 23
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It's almost as nice as the socks she knitted, one of which I use as a sleeping bag.
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Please sell all my assets and buy all the Pioneer stock you can.
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[Objects Clattering To Floor]
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Yes, sir. I'll get on it first thing tomorrow morning.
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Back there, it's 1:00 yesterday morning. Everyone's gone to bed and said,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 23 (S02E23) - 29
Okay. I think I got a bead on it.
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at market, regardless of cost.
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- Thank you, sir. - You got 50 cents change?
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- ## [Off-Key Playing Continues] - Is something troubling you, my son?
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Not to share their growing up.
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Sounds serious, Radar.
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- A girl, right? - Oh, she's terrific.
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"terrific looker and a surgeon, to boot.
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I won't.
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"Now that we've exchanged pictures and general info,
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Well, wait... No. You gotta know. I mean, she wants to know my feelings,
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Of course.
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I'm a Communist, an atheistic, Marxist, card-carrying, uh...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 23 (S02E23) - 44
That's your problem, Klinger. I've got a desk full of my own. Out!
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I'll cover you with furs, perfume, earrings. I'll buy you French handmade bloomers!
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Don't you realize? If there's a divorce, she gets half of everything.
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Margaret, I can't bid against the United States Army.
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Pioneer Aviation!
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"of the color of my hair and real length.
Aired 45 years ago - Feb 16, 1974

Burns tries to slap a dishonorable discharge on a decorated soldier who admits to being a homosexual, Private Weston. Weston: "Two guys got beaten up in my outfit. One colored, the other homosexual. As you can see, Doc., I'm not colored."

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 1
Who are they to remind us of happiness?
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- Sir? - Yeah, I'll take another cup.
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- Looked like somebody used him for batting practice. - We're all out.
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Well, that certainly explains all the noise at night.
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Everything's under control. We're having a consultation about medical needs.
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Why, he really fries my butt.
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- It really makes me see red. - Yes, sir.
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I like mine through the boot.
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'Course, I charge extra for 12.
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- Its option's been picked up. - But there's no question that I will be back?
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Listen, Doc. I've watched you around the hospital.
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One colored and one homosexual.
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And you wanna go back to that outfit?
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- [Grunting] - You won't say anything about our talk?
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[Groans] Can you get tennis elbow from checkers?
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[Glasses Clunking]
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Weston. The one with contusions.
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Whenever he went to the bathroom or conquered a country. Know what they also say?
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- We already whitewashed the fence, Aunt Polly. - Ha-ha.
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Is this person a well-stacked U.S. Army major nurse...
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- "One of those," Frank? - Which one of those "thoses" do you mean, Frank?
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- I'm also an American. - All right. You're an American surgeon.
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Relax, Frank. He'll be gone in a couple of days.
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Well, even a powder puff can get lucky... sometimes.
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following today's training film on trench foot.
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- I was talking to the major, Captain. - You talk to the captain.
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Why wasn't I informed? I am head nurse.
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- Frank, I don't understand. - Private Weston is sick, diseased.
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Frank had the duty roster changed because his pulse...
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he'll get the dishonorable discharge he deserves.
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- How do I sound? - Uh, get some rest,
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I suggest immediate isolation and recommend a dishonorable discharge.
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- He's not a man. - A woman? There's no woman in post-op. You know that.
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Well, you just never know, do you?
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I can't describe it. It's like a little nativity scene.
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Major Burns is loaded with static. He was born in a taxi with the radio on...
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I honestly believe Henry Blake could be held up through the mail.
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- You have beautiful hands. - Thank you. They're my mother's.
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- Look, let's skip the manicure. - Voila. El finko himself.
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Frank said he'd go over my head. I said, "Go." He's done it so many times,
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- Don't feel like what, Frank? - Hmm?
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Hold it. Her flaps are rustling.
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And there will now be a short pause while he skulks casually back to the swamp.
Aired 45 years ago - Feb 09, 1974

The supply lines to the camp are cut. Radar, the housing officer, starts doubling people up to save fuel and Klinger is thrown out of the nurse's tent. People start burning everything to stay warm while Frank wears his heated socks. The toilet paper supply is worst hit, and then wounded start arriving. Supplies are eventually restored.

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 21 (S02E21) - 1
We can't do everything ourselves.
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"No mail call, no electrical parts,
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"One last stand, and then you can go home."
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What would have happened in 1776 if the Minutemen on their way to Concord...
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That makes good sense. I would make it conditional, however.
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The following people will be in charge of these things...
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Captain Mclntyre, heat and electrical power.
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Radar will decide who sleeps with who.
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L-26.
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and you're playing with people's beans.
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New sleeping arrangements, by order of Corporal O'Reilly, housing officer.
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Radar, uh, am I getting taller or is the room shrinking?
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- Uh, we're out of paper, sir. - They burn that too?
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Oh, Frank. You have the perfect personality in a crisis.
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As food supply officer, I was checking the supplies.
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You've eaten all the pineapple, Margaret.
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- [Knocking] - One... Just one moment!
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I'm his helper. He doesn't like to heat alone.
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- No! No! - Frank, let go of that.
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Major, what happened here tonight will never leave this room.
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Say no more, ma'am.
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I gotta heat my cot.
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This is where the Ritz hit the fan.
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Hi. This is where I'm supposed to be tonight.
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Well, do you see anybody else pressing the soft underbelly button?
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A captain can't give a major an order.
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Which bed should I take, sir?
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How are we supposed to sleep with that?
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I have to go to the sandbox.
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- Can we afford a little night music? - Yeah, about 30 minutes.
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Let me see if I can recall that prayer.
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[Man Over P.A.] Attention, all personnel. Incoming wounded.
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All the food, all the fuel. Patients get first priority. Let's move.
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Say, we're running out of just about anything you guys'd care to name.
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Just lis... Now, look, buddy, I bought a lot of war bonds,
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All they can send us is casualties. Everything else they run out of.
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# Sharing each other's sorrows #
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"Come to tent nine, change into something comfy, put on mask and wait.
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The food's holding out and the fuel's okay.
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for those of you who have acted in the Yankee Doodlest manner.
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Well, I can't help it.
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Oh, Radar, I wish you hadn't said that.
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[Klinger Shouts]
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- That's very funny, Mclntyre. - Maybe there's a review of the war.
Aired 45 years ago - Feb 02, 1974

While there are no casualties, Hawkeye & Trapper crate up Frank while he sleeps and receive gorilla suits through the mail. Henry gets a tan and gives another sex orientation lecture. When the wounded start pouring in again, their own side shells the camp, hitting the generator, and Radar tries to get through to someone to stop the shelling.

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 1
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- You busy, Father? - Just washing my feet.
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Well, Father, it's so quiet around here, what do they need me for?
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"At least it's close. I only saw it once and I was sewing from memory.
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but you take the cake.
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Hey, guys, let's settle down, huh?
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I thought I'd deliver the required commanding officer's...
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Could you quiet up?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 10
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Maggie and Jiggs.
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Some of you are going back to your sweethearts.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 14
"Clean is as clean does and clean does as clean thinks."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 15
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 16
Now, you guys know what I'm talking about, men.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 17
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 18
- Hey! Bravo! - Hey! Bravo!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 19
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 20
Fair is fair. They're excellent surgeons.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 21
- No, you never told me. - I don't tell you half their stunts.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 22
Oh? Really?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 23
- Take a card! Pick a card! - Don't rush me!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 24
Pierce? Mclntyre?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 25
I want to talk to you both... as doctors.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 26
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 27
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 28
Evenin', chillun! How y'all?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 29
we'd like to do a little operation we've had a lot of luck with.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 30
Keep it for a few days. If you like it, it's yours.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 31
Ambulance drivers report to their stations immediately.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 32
- Rib cutter. - Start another unit of whole blood.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 33
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 34
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 35
Hey! Did anyone remember to light up the Red Cross sign?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 36
Aw, wouldn't that strip your gears?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 37
Yeah, this is 4077 th MASH. Corporal O'Reilly.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 38
Who gave you those orders?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 39
A million miles from home, laying on a table like a centerpiece...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 40
[Burns] Okay, you close. I've done the important part.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 41
- Old chromic, right? - Right.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 42
Regimental headquarters?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 43
Well... Try who?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 44
- What was that? - Nothing, Frank.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 45
[Laughs] You're only saying that to make me feel good.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 46
Fred?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 47
All right, let's tie this vessel, then we'll start on the bladder.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 48
- I'm raw from all this scrubbing. - Why don't you see a doctor?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 49
Oh!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 50
Aired 45 years ago - Jan 26, 1974

A Korean family set up camp in the middle of the compound. A Korean woman with a baby comes looking for the father, and names Radar. Civilian affairs relocates the family and blood tests prove Radar is not the father.

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 1
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 2
- Radar! - Sir, there's a Korean family out here.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 3
Shine, Joe? Shine? Shine? Shine, Joe?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 4
You're on government property.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 5
Look, folks. You've picked a very busy spot. The war comes through here.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 6
The only thing I am sure of is I don't need you.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 7
You can't build a house on a U.S. Military reservation.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 8
I'd say fire a few shots over their heads. That'll chase 'em.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 9
Started setting up housekeeping. You gotta talk to 'em, Sam.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 10
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Are we just gonna stand around and let these foreigners take over the 4077 th?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 12
Yeah, I know. $640 a month isn't real money,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 13
Candy? Dollar for shine, Joe.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 14
They're just your garden-variety Korean refugee,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 15
You're not with those others, are you?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 16
- Not Korean soldier. - Oh.
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He doctor. MASH 4077.
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- Good news. - I'll take it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 20
Sam, this is Miss Choon Hi.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 21
- You called, Master? - This better be good, Henry.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 22
I got the forms for the boots, sir.
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doesn't mean I don't fool around like you guys.
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We share your disgust, Frank.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 28
I've got a call in to Civilian Affairs.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 29
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- Go get 'em, Frank. Kill! - Right!
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- You ever think of pediatrics? - Oh, you make a fortune.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 33
We're going to match the mother's blood type and the baby's blood type...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 34
- You wanna save us the trouble? - I'm not worried.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 35
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The ice cream won't melt into the cole slaw for a while yet.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 38
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- Which one is pregnant, sir? - Oh, he's here for the flip side, Henry.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 40
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What?
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- Don't you wanna hear about my call? - One disaster at a time, Frank.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 43
You're dismissed until your presence is re-required.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 44
All right. The party's over. Repeat, the party is over.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 45
- [Scoffs] - Frank, the next field is a minefield.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 46
Until we know where they're going.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 47
Save me a couple of seats for the next one.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 19 (S02E19) - 48
The mother has blood type "O," and the aforeborn baby has blood type "A."
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Sir, I thought it over, and I was lying before when I said the baby wasn't mine.
Aired 45 years ago - Jan 19, 1974

Private Baker, who is always going AWOL, is desperate for plastic surgery on his nose. Hawkeye gets an old friend, and plastic surgeon, to visit the camp, promising him a nurse called "The Barracuda". They put together an elaborate scheme to perform the operation without Frank or Margaret finding out.

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 1
- Or should that be "me"? - Should what be "me," sir?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 2
Oh! What are you trying to do to me?
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- It just isn't fair. - Yes, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 4
- if you follow the way I've drifted. - Yes, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 5
Of course, there was a newspaper strike at the time.
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- Did you ever hear him speak? - I don't go to his services, sir.
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If it makes you more comfortable forget I'm a priest.
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only you're too polite to say anything.
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It's ruining my life.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 10
The sending of you to me only reinforces my opinion of Colonel Blake.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 11
It's there to catch a cold through, or at which to look down on people from. Enjoy it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 12
You know why Napoleon always kept his hand down here? He was scratching his nose.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 13
"Ever thought of putting in an attic?"
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- It's also against regulations. - You think this is regulation?
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Will you do it? I'd even pay.
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I mean, I'm in it right up to my rear bumpers.
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Cosmetic surgery is against army regulations.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 18
- Who? - You ever hear of Stanley Robbins?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 19
You guys have my full permission, and I never said that.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 20
- Yes, sir. - Well, no sense hanging around if I'm not here.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 21
Good. Uh, listen, uh...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 22
Stosh, you and I have taken out some nurses in our time,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 23
Hey, Stosh, how you doing?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 24
If I were you, I'd call in an air strike, start all over again.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 25
- How's everything in Tokyo? - Never stops. Round the clock.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 26
So, you're the well-known "surgeon to the stars," huh?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 27
- Colonel, you're a doctor. - Gotcha. Ethics.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 28
Sid Caesar!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 29
Hi, kids. Slip into the wrong tent?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 30
You know, jowls can be the most sensual part of a woman,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 31
And it's time for his 3,000-mile checkup.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 32
- Save yourself for the big game, Stosh. - Yeah, when do I meet her?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 33
How does that one strike you? And remember a nose job is not a haircut.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 34
Do me a favor, huh?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 35
I got that one for my wife for her birthday. We're in business.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 36
What am I signing, Radar?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 37
- Okay. Radar? - Thank you, sir. Sir?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 38
- about 37-24-35. - Yes, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 39
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Very good, Frank.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 41
- Kid, are you okay? - My nose!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 42
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Uh, well, Robbins never allows anybody to watch his work.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 44
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All we need is a doctor and a patient.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 46
Well, can you think of a reason why you might send for me?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 47
- Let me prove it to you. - Stop it! I'll scream!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 48
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- No, that's a lie! - You're "the Barracuda," right?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 50
- Oh! - Hey, Trap.
Aired 45 years ago - Jan 12, 1974

A riotous episode in which Hawkeye will do anything to get a new pair of boots: In order to get Zale to get him some, he must get an appointment for Zale with Futterman, the camp dentist, who will only do it if Henry will give him a pass to Tokyo, and Henry will only grant the pass if Houlihan will get off his back, which she will do only if the guys throw a party for Frank's birthday, with a cake, and Radar will only help get the cake if he gets a date with Nurse Murphy, who will only date someone with a hair dryer, and Klinger won't give up the hair dryer unless he gets a section 8 (and Frank won't sign). Inevitably, the deal falls through, much to the Hawkeye's chagrin. MORE -LESS

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 1
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I want that card out of your boot pronto! And that's an order!
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I think we should go lean on the supply sergeant.
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I hope he had somebody carry his bags for him.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 5
You want to see a 101/2-C hole? Look at this. Huh?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 6
No chance! I need them to chew with.
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No experience necessary.
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- What about him? - I want you to give him his bridge.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 10
Fair enough. If you help me.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 11
I love that land, from the top of Fujiyama to the bottom of its sea,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 12
My life there has only been prologue to my final destiny:
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 13
Okay. We'll see Henry.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 14
which states that you merely initialed the forms that required signing.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 15
Oh, pooh! I got a bucket of golf balls to wash.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 16
Major Houlihan, huh?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 17
which she had been typing with the wrong side of the carbon facing.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 18
- She spelled "bungler" wrong. - Uh, no, that's "bumbler," sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 19
- Are you in, Henry? - I'm in enough to ask you to get out.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 20
Not unless you want it turned down. Then it's ideal.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 21
It never fails. One hand washes the other.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 22
- My report is going to Gen. Mitchell. - Come on, reconsider.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 23
He will never again wake up with nail polish and mascara.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 24
- It's a deal. - It is not!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 25
Hah! A party for Frank Burns?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 26
- Radar, what are you doing? - Sorting the mail.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 27
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 28
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 29
a man's best years are between 19 and 25.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 30
- Murphy. - Murphy. - Murphy.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 31
Well, he's a little more "ish" than "Cooper."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 32
Part of this deal has to be that I have a hair dryer.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 33
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Ah! I looked it up.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 35
But what's the use? Majors Burns or Houlihan, they wouldn't sign.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 36
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- Frank! - Giddy-up!
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just to get four kids to show up.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 39
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Be quiet! Hide! Shh! Shh!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 41
Sure it is, you silly goose.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 42
Aw, you two palookas.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 43
that I think you're all a bunch of swell eggs.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 44
Now, this first present is from all the gang in X-Ray.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 45
- Be in my chair, 10:00. Don't be late. - You got it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 46
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 47
Geez, I gotta get outta here. I got a date.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 48
- They love you, Frank. - It was their hatred that fooled me.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 49
- With the whole world. - Sign this.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 50
Hey, what are you doing?
Aired 45 years ago - Jan 05, 1974

Henry returns from a week in Tokyo, to announce that he is in love with a 20-year old girl called Nancy Sue Parker. She arrives for the weekend, and Henry shows her off. Nancy comes on to Hawkeye while Henry is in surgery. Henry is reminded of his wife back home when Radar places a call for him, and he realises it's his wife he loves.

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 1
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And I'm grateful that a little bit of it occasionally rubs off on me."
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Yes, sirs.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 5
That'll be all, Corporal. Dismissed. Smoke if you got 'em.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 6
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- I think we're ready to open the war on Broadway. - Lots of head wounds.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 8
Okay, guys, brace yourselves.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 9
I'm 44 years old and I only hear about half of what anybody says.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 10
Well, don't keep us in suspense. Who's the man, woman or child?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 11
Just a minute here. She's no kid. She'll be 21 in August.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 12
And we're trying to decide which bathhouse to go to after breakfast.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 13
Our eyes met and it was as though we'd known each other all our lives.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 14
- You said the magic word. - It's an ordinary word.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 15
I mean, you guys aren't reading me.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 16
Henry, why don't you just file this under "Andy Hardy Remembers His Teeth in the Glass."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 17
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- [Door Rattling] - Hello?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 19
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Uh, flowers will be placed in the V.I.P. Tent...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 21
- Sir? - See to it that this gets put on the jukebox, please?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 22
Mm-hmm.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 23
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Of course I am.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 25
- As a personal order? - Okay, Henry.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 26
Oh! Easy. Now watch it. Don't get your pretty little foot caught.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 27
Hi. So nice to meet you.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 28
You just wanna take him home and cuddle him.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 29
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 30
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 31
- Yes, sir. - Bye, Radar.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 32
- What are you wearing? - Practically nothing.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 33
- Sheila? - I'd like something weak.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 34
- [Henry Laughing] - He's making a jackass out of himself.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 35
A married man fooling around with another woman.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 36
Oh, it's mine too. Everyone's been so terrific about being nice to me.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 37
Glad to have met you.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 38
- Hi. - Hi.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 39
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 40
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 41
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 42
I used to be so much better. I'm so out of shape.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 43
- Come on, Mclntyre. - We'll keep your drinks warm.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 44
Henry, get away from the ether.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 45
- Good night, Nancy. Nice meeting you. - Me too.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 46
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 47
Hawkeye, the first time we met,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 48
In the first place, I wanna thank you from the bottom of my mouth.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 49
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 50
Don't send me your stubs. I can't balance your checkbook in a war zone.
Aired 45 years ago - Dec 22, 1973

Klinger pretends to be pregnant. Hawkeye and Trapper operate on General Mitchell's son, and the General gives them 3 days in Tokyo Henry keeps getting calls from Tokyo about what Hawkeye and Trapper are doing. When they get back to the 4077 Frank asked the general for an officers club for the camp. They plot to allow the enlisted men access to the club, and when the General opens it the rules are bent to give his son access, which Hawkeye exploits to give access to all. MORE -LESS

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 1
- Clamp. - Clamp.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 2
- How's it going, guys? - Fine. Pull up a chair. We'll deal you in.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 3
- Right. - [Houlihan] Colonel?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 4
Frank, why don't we just take our gloves off and step outside?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 5
But it's my considered opinion that no one's going to believe that you're pregnant.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 6
should someone in your condition be smoking a cigar?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 7
- Yes, get rid of those pillows. I'm terminating your pregnancy. - Not in front of the general.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 8
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 9
You do much fishing, do you?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 10
- Would you, um... - Yes, sir. I'll, uh...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 11
- That's very generous, General. - Goes down real smooth.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 12
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 13
Uh, well, sir, l...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 14
Somebody has to be there to say,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 15
I would like to meet the doctor who performed the operation.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 16
I'd like to say thank you in some substantial way.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 17
A suite at the Imperial Hotel.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 18
- Who am I talking to? - Mr. Yurkuri. He runs the Imperial Hotel.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 19
Yes, sir, I'll grant you, that's a little out of line.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 20
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 21
What have they done, Radar?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 22
Ah, home at last.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 23
- Terrific! - And you wanted to write him out of your will.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 24
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 25
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 26
The senior N.C.O. Present requests Captain's permission for men to resume eating, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 27
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 28
I remember that well, sir. Thank you, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 29
- That was good work, Lieutenant. Thank you. - Thank you, Doctor.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 30
- Hey, Henry, hold baby time. - Ha, ha. Back from Tokyo, are we?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 31
Any officer, regardless of race, color or creed can go in and get bombed out of his skull.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 32
Oh, great. St. Patrick's Church and Grill.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 33
- will you throw the club open for everybody? - Yeah, sure.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 34
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 35
- That's a cute name. - We're a cute people.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 36
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 37
And add five percent for yourself.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 38
Two very dry martinis. And Margaret, what is that, an old-fashioned?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 39
The major and I were having a quiet drink together, and I'd appreciate it if you'd amscray.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 40
Must we dance so close?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 41
- What's he doing? - Nothing to worry about, Frank.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 42
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 43
As someone who's seen your inside, I can tell you your outside looks great.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 44
For the enlisted personnel, there will be a special screening in the mess tent...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 45
## [Swing Jazz]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 46
Is that a drink, sir?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 47
Well, I for one am impressed.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 48
It's both an honor and a privilege and a pleasure to welcome you...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 49
- Maj. Houlihan, in charge of nursing. - I can believe that.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 50
Yes, of course.
Aired 45 years ago - Dec 15, 1973

Margaret revaluates her life, and decides to leave Frank and ask for a transfer, which is granted. She gets drunk at her goodbye party, but is sobered up in the shower when wounded start arriving. She changes her mind when she realises how loyal her friends are.

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 1
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 2
Anglo Chemicals is at 471/2, thanks to napalm.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 3
[Radar Over P.A.] Attention, all personnel.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 4
- Pickups. - Pickups.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 5
- I counted ten, ma'am. - There's only nine here.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 6
- Where's that 4-0 silk suture I asked for? - They're on the way, Major.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 7
- Is it a boy or a girl? - Give us a chance. We just met.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 8
Would you like to tell me about your Trisha Spalding?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 9
Forty-five.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 10
It's only the people who know you that don't give you any respect.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 11
Margaret, you're serving your country in the most noble way a woman can.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 12
I don't want a weekend. I want a lifetime.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 13
Come to attention. Get to your feet. Put that cigar out. Get rid of that magazine.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 14
- Out of my way, Corporal. - Major, he's watching a, uh, training film.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 15
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 16
- For pete's sake. - Hey!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 17
Colonel, I want a transfer.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 18
An order? Why don't you stop masquerading as a commanding officer?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 19
Colonel, I am requesting that you officially...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 20
You peek into one shower and you're labeled for life.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 21
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 22
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 23
- I'll thank you to mind your p's and q's. - That hurt.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 24
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 25
- Fifteen minutes ago was a very good year. - It's especially for you.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 26
Fighting, they say, is a form of loving.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 27
to their secret nurse ceremonies,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 28
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 29
Let me get my robe. I'm in my underwear.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 30
Your picture of us at Osaka,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 31
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 32
- I know a lot of generals, you know, Frank? - I know you know them, Margaret.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 33
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 34
What are you doing, rehearsing a letter to your wife home?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 35
- I think you've had enough, Margaret. - Who asked you?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 36
- "number 467, Paulina Paris and her Pelican. - Her Pelican.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 37
"to cover the cost of film, postage and handling.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 38
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 39
- Uh, how do you get into this thing? - Is there something you want?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 40
- Okay. - Okay.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 41
I need a sense of order. Can't you understand that, Colonel?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 42
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 43
- The choppers evacuating? - Yes, sir. Should be here in about 45 minutes.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 44
Boy, I'd give $50 to see a varicose vein.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 45
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 46
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 47
- We're gonna need her tonight. - Why us?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 48
- What are you doing? - New surgical procedure.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 49
You wanna know something? You really wanna know something?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 50
That's when I fell in love with him.
Aired 45 years ago - Dec 08, 1973

Sidney Freedman comes to the camp, and joins in the poker game at The Swamp. Radar hits a local with a jeep, although the local is famous for jumping in front of vehicles for the compensation. Hawkeye and Trapper operate on an intelligence officer against regulations. Sidney helps talk around a soldier who wants to kill Frank.

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 1
- Sir, could I ask a favor? - Ask away.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 2
and stuck in a jukebox and a bunch of B-girls on roller skates.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 3
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 4
Okeydoke, ante up.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 5
Sandwiches from the mess tent.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 6
Earrings with a sweater?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 7
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 8
In case he tells anything under sedation. Regulations.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 9
Oh, well, not to worry.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 10
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 11
- Uh, Colonel? - Let's see here.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 12
Oh, rats! Just missed.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 13
and low hole card wild.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 14
Yes, it was definitely a thump, sir... a Korean thump.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 15
Ah, Radar, don't you think you mean more to me than a pair of deuces?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 16
- That's good, isn't it, sir? - No bleeding is best, Radar.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 17
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 18
Oh, okay, it's me. Cut.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 19
You never enlisted, did you, Klinger?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 20
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 21
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 22
If you so much as touch that patient, you're violating army regulations.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 23
My vote is we put him in front of a 21 -gun salute.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 24
Nothing broken here, Radar. Everything's right where it ought to be.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 25
It looks like he's paralyzed.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 26
See?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 27
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 28
It's all in your head.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 29
You did it, didn't you? Operated on the C.I.D. Man.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 30
Doctors, medicine, compassion... remember?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 31
There's a possible straight. A pair of threes.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 32
- "El foldo." - All right, I'll see you.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 33
I can tell you this much, Major. This is definitely a court-martial offense.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 34
That's not my department, sir. Intelligence is something I try to avoid.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 35
Yes, we do, but you didn't hear that from me.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 36
Stuff it, Major!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 37
Sidney, what's the psychiatric basis for gambling?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 38
- Here they are. - Pierce. Mclntyre.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 39
Okay. Did you guys really do that?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 40
- Can these men be trusted? - Well, certainly.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 41
It was a textbook operation. No complications. He'll be up and snooping in a week.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 42
Hurry up, Frank. The good ship Lollipop is leaving.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 43
Radar had a jeep accident. He hit a local.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 44
- Yes, sir. - His name is Hwang?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 45
All right, come on. Ten bucks a man ought to do it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 46
Where were we?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 47
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 48
I think I'm doing it in the right order.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 49
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 50
You got no clothes on.
Aired 45 years ago - Dec 01, 1973

Hawkeye and Trapper recover from an all night party. Henry gets a barbecue, and Hawkeye puts in a request for an incubator. The Quartermaster turns him down. They locate a Major with 3 incubators, but he won't let them have one. A Colonel tries to sell them one, and then they get into trouble with a General at a press conference. Finally, Radar trades the barbecue for an incubator. MORE -LESS

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 1
- Is he alive? - Yes, but his guts are in bad shape.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 2
- Is that coffee? - Oh, yeah, I figured you'd need some.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 3
- No. It was ten to 4:00. - Did we say why?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 4
- No comment about this? - About us?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 5
- Aw, please, Frank. - Come on, Mom. Please.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 6
I don't have to take that from you.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 7
Twelve hours of I.V., then put a ticket on him to Tokyo.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 8
Nurse, give me an ice pack here.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 9
He had a full course of penicillin. He's not responding.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 10
We'll know what he has in 72 hours, then you can treat him.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 11
I want you to secure legs "A," "B," "C" and "D" to the fire bowl.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 12
You know, sir, I have a friend down in the 331 st Evac.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 13
You betcha. I want you to go see the cook.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 14
They gotta scream when you cut into 'em. I fix 'em my own way.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 15
I'd have bet anything you couldn't get four people inside a sleeping bag.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 16
- How do we requisition an incubator? - Now just hold it!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 17
- All because we don't have an incubator. - All right, that's a point.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 18
The war's been running for two years.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 19
- Colonel. - Captain. Radar, would you...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 20
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 21
Oh, Captain Sloan, these are Captain Pierce...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 22
Maybe I'll have that drink.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 23
Um, "inhalator, indicator, innoculator, infusilator..."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 24
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 25
Hey, that would be great on movie nights.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 26
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 27
Does the book allow us any ground, Captain?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 28
We're gonna get that incubator. We're gonna go forth and part the red tape.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 29
Well, everybody, happy days.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 30
I'm doing just fine!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 31
Three of them at the 728th Evac in Pusan. A Major Arnold Morris.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 32
May I remind you both that not everybody you'll meet down there...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 33
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 34
- You want an incubator. No dice. - But you've got three.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 35
- That's a sick attitude. - Well, they're mine.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 36
Well, look, Major, we're not here from True Confessions.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 37
- Where would we find him? - Nowhere on the base, that's for sure.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 38
For the simple purpose of practicing better and more efficient medicine.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 39
Okay, Daddy.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 40
An even thousand should handle it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 41
and, with a week's notice, the odd B-52.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 42
Why should the sergeants have all the fun? [Chuckles]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 43
for $627, cost.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 44
That would lead you to General Mitchell.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 45
Is there anything you can add?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 46
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 47
I'm sure the answer will too.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 48
- Security reasons. - Exactly.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 49
- Who's your commanding officer? - We'd rather not say.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 50
Which makes you the next contestant, General.
Aired 45 years ago - Nov 24, 1973

The camp succumbs to the Asian flu, except for Hawkeye and Margaret, who have to do everything themselves. As the others start to recover, Hawkeye falls ill but he still manages to operate when wounded arrive. Finally the others are well enough for Hawkeye to stop working and rest. He is thanked for his service with a commemorative roll of toilet paper. MORE -LESS

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 1
Jacobs, put him to bed.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 2
- Doctor, I just did. - Don't argue with me. Just do what I...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 3
Nothing clever. Just close and call me when you're finished.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 4
They do give them complicated names.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 5
[Pierce] Look, General, I realize...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 6
Anybody who's good with a knife.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 7
Well, anything I can do to help.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 8
- Tell you what we're gonna do, Radar. - Check the personnel directory.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 9
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 10
He doesn't have one of those.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 11
Joel McCrea is in bed. So is Ralph Bellamy and Colonel Andy Devine.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 12
I'll tell you what you're not. You're not Commanding Officer.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 13
You won't take yes for an answer, will you?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 14
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 15
Don't be foolish. I wouldn't presume to tell you anything about surgery.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 16
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 17
- Irrigate the wound and pack it over. - Yes, Doctor.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 18
I'm ready.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 19
- Pierce! - Coming, Mother.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 20
Hawkeye, could I trouble you?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 21
[All Chattering]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 22
- Okay. Richardson retractor. - Richardson.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 23
Not you, Sheila. Get back here. Hold that. Father, get us some clamps.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 24
Just filling out the daily report.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 25
And I'm taking you with me, Margaret. We'll send for Frank later.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 26
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 27
Margaret, another dream come true.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 28
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 29
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 30
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 31
Well, Mr. And Mrs. 4077 th at home, in my office.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 32
So you two can just sit around my desk and smoke my cigars?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 33
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 34
If I was back home in Bloomington, Illinois,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 35
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 36
We tried to reach your mother. She doesn't make house calls.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 37
Uh, Dr. Pierce, could you look at bed five?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 38
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 39
we're in Korea.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 40
- What's up? - It isn't Trapper.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 41
I think I can manage that.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 42
You're the best receptionist I ever had.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 43
- Is that possible? - Keep checking for doctors.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 44
Sorry, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 45
First I'm hot, then I'm cold.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 46
Believe me, I've got fever to burn.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 47
Pickups.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 48
and you still can proposition a nurse.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 49
Get a retractor first. Father, pull that back, will you?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 50
- Scalpel. - Scalpel.
Aired 45 years ago - Nov 17, 1973

A lone sniper has the 4077th pinned down - including Radar and Henry in the shower. The poor boy thinks he's firing on McArthur's headquarters, and a chopper finally comes by and wounds him with gunfire from above, ending the siege. Hawkeye walks out to into the bush to tend to the wounded soldier.

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 1
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 2
Get the tomatoes?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 3
- He likes me. Don't you, Radar? - Uh, yes, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 4
Frank, if you don't put that gun away,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 5
And right over there is a war. I feel almost guilty.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 6
- Could I see the gun just once more? - You've seen it, Margaret.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 7
Does every new nurse fall in love with you here?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 8
- Came with what? I haven't fired yet! - I was right over there!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 9
- Where are you going? - Grab a friend and get back to camp!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 10
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 11
Sitting here with our tails sticking out, helpless.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 12
It's not much better in here, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 13
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 14
Oh, forget it. You'd look silly with a hole in your head.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 15
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 16
- [Chattering Continues] - Now, please, I want it quiet!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 17
We're under massive enemy attack!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 18
I think there's only one, but I don't know. There may be more.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 19
Tomorrow noon's the earliest they can get here.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 20
- Thank God. - Oh, congratulations. You're alive.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 21
You got casualties out there, son?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 22
Anything!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 23
Overrun by a horde of one?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 24
What kind of guarantee do you want?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 25
Au contraire, Major!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 26
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 27
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 28
Let's go!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 29
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 30
The sniper's still outside. The generator's shot.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 31
And what happens if we do quit and they roll right over us?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 32
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 33
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 34
Nobody's eaten in 13 hours, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 35
if we had a real man in this outfit...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 36
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 37
Relax, relax! I'm not here for violation purposes.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 38
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 39
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 40
- Really? - Oh, he had days you wouldn't believe.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 41
the local undertaker used to send me Christmas presents and calendars.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 42
If you're lucky, and if I'm lucky, I won't run into her.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 43
Or he catches us. Whichever way it works out.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 44
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 45
- You almost killed me! - I didn't fire it!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 46
You want to finish that sandwich here or in surgery?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 47
- I mean, no offense, sir, but this... - [Helicopter Approaching]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 48
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 49
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 50
Aired 45 years ago - Nov 10, 1973

Once more Hawkeye writes home to his father: the doctors operate on a soldier with a grenade shot into his body; Hawkeye and Trapper colour the skin of a racist patient, who demanded the right colour blood, while he is asleep; Henry gets a movie of his daughters birthday from home; the officers hold the monthly staff meeting.

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 1
- Huh? - I wouldn't want that darkie stuff.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 2
Radar, you can't let anybody in here with a grenade in his pants.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 3
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 4
There must be an easier way for a surgeon to make $413.50 a month.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 5
All right. Get me some towels.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 6
[Pierce] All right. Take it easy.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 7
Sponge.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 8
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 9
There followed another operation which we natives here call the "happy hour."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 10
- Radar? - Huh?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 11
Patient's in pain. Guess what his orders were.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 12
I mean, I should've done it. The coffee was already brewed.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 13
Capital idea.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 14
- Got the magic mixture? - Yes, Master.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 15
Somebody's gotta pick the cotton.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 16
Makes you long for home, but then, almost everything does.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 17
Glad you know how. I was never very good with my hands.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 18
Whatever you say, Henry. It's your theater. What are you showing?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 19
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 20
- Bright as a penny. - Didn't she get anything from you?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 21
- How did you bag her, Henry? - Slip her something in her succotash?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 22
He went on to become the biggest cement contractor in the Midwest.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 23
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 24
[Mclntyre] Hey, wait a minute. Hold it, Henry.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 25
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 26
- [Mclntyre] Great legs. - [Pierce] You've been here too long.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 27
- [Pierce] Ohh. - [Mclntyre] Yeah. Hey, hey.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 28
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 29
- Radar? - Uh, yes, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 30
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 31
Then there are those devotees of exotic cultures who nightly...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 32
- I want to turn a page. - Good. I'll wet your finger.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 33
Frank, leave,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 34
- Ha! I'll bet. - She did. She did so.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 35
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 36
- What's your problem? - Let me ask you something.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 37
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 38
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 39
- Henry, we all know who's here. - Regulations require it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 40
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 41
Wait. We didn't hear Frank's answer. We don't know if he's here.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 42
- Uh, Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce. - Yo-yo.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 43
- Uh, I did, sir. - Hmm?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 44
- Um... - Yeah, here's your gavel.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 45
Excuse me. We do have the minutes for the meeting before the last meeting.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 46
"The meeting was declared a shambles right after Captain Mclntyre...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 47
Frank? You know, in this light, you look just likeJoan Crawford.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 48
But if we're here for the purpose of improving our military efficiency,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 49
I second the motion.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 50
Aired 45 years ago - Nov 03, 1973

Majors Houlihan and Burns press charges against Colonel Blake to get him arrested and put Frank in charge, and put Hawkeye and trapper under arrest so that they can't help him. Fortunately for Henry, they escape, and with the aid of Meg Cratty come to the rescue.

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 1
Place your best, folks. Don't miss your chance.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 2
All right. Come on. This is your last chance before the big race to make your bets.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 3
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 4
- Decadent. - Gurney races.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 5
Girl Away. It's Hawk's Pride and Gal O' War.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 6
Bouncing Betty is really bouncing along,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 7
Well, uh, we work hard, Major. We need some relaxation.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 8
Charge two states one of your enlisted men...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 9
selling Hi-Style wing-tip shoes.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 10
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 11
[Knocking] Anybody home?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 12
I would like to interest you in a pair of our Hi-Style wing-tip shoes...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 13
No, actually, uh, this is my first day.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 14
this is an all-leather shoe, with a built-in arch support...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 15
Actually, Mr. O'Reilly, I already have a pair of black-and-white shoes.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 16
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 17
Gentlemen!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 18
It might be of some comfort to you to know...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 19
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 20
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 21
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 22
- See? - Where were we?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 23
Colonel, what did you think about Klinger's attempt to desert the United States Army?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 24
You will remain confined to regimental quarters until this hearing resumes.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 25
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 26
Uh,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 27
Will you stop that vacuum effect and answer?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 28
- Major Burns... - And Houlihan. - And Houlihan.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 29
We'll take care of that. You get the files.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 30
What do you want?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 31
- We love him. - Hard cheese.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 32
You're both under arrest.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 33
I don't mind that so much 'cause I got good legs.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 34
- you'd bet your brains out. - The trouble is, he's not one of a kind.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 35
I'm cheap, but I'm not easy.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 36
Listen, if you guys need something to wear...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 37
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 38
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 39
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 40
Further, these were delivered to your unit...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 41
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 42
in the sense that, "Yes, I gave aid and comfort to the enemy"...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 43
Frank, what are you doing over on the right? Get over on the left!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 44
- We wanna testify, sir. - The cavalry's here, Henry. ## [Imitating Bugle Call]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 45
You get any sleep, sir?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 46
which is more than I can say about any of you high-priced bellhops.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 47
No money changed hands, and I didn't deprive our own wounded kids of one thing.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 48
- Which is which? - Doesn't matter. They're interchangeable.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 49
Right!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 50
- My family came to America in 1927. - Riding on a pony.
Aired 45 years ago - Oct 27, 1973

Corporal Walker is being sent home, and he wants to marry his Korean girl so she and their baby can return with him. CID sends Lt Willis to investigate, but when he refuses Hawkeye and Trapper frame him. Hawkeye is upset that a nurse he was pursuing does not approve of the marriage between "a gook" and "one of us".

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 1
Maybe your paper is losing its hair.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 2
Doc, can I see you? It's about a patient outside.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 3
- [Baby Crying] - There he is. That's the patient.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 4
[Continues Crying]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 5
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 6
I had the cook marry us. He used to be an altar boy.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 7
- That's why I came to you. - You couldn't just go home...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 8
Oh, uh, well, I found the forms for enlisted men marrying L.I.P.'s, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 9
Uh, the plane with John Wayne didn't get here.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 10
They wanted to get married.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 11
- We'll do the jokes, Nurse. - Yes, Doctor.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 12
- Happy ending? - He got married.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 13
- Nice idea, this. - It's better than the movie.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 14
In that case, I may just teach you to play golf one day.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 15
you're a wallflower because you're such a rotten dancer.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 16
- That was step two. - What's step three?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 17
- You have any records to dance to? - No.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 18
I also got four officers to sign theJ-19 application...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 19
And The Thing That Ate the Bronx. I could see that every night.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 20
- A very serious, formal complaint. - What is it, Frank?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 21
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 22
You're nothing but a golf-playing figurehead.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 23
I want you to know that I agree with everything I've said.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 24
made my marriage a great union that will endure forever.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 25
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 26
Why not? I know I smell great the way I am, but better wouldn't hurt.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 27
There you go, Frank. Write your heart out.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 28
Pierce, I've been assigned this Walker deal.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 29
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 30
This is wonder booze, the elixir of life.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 31
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 32
I wouldn't take him out for a $50 bill. That's highly irregular.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 33
Huh? You think they're really crazy about us, right?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 34
a lot of wrong thinking in this man's army.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 35
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 36
Lieutenant... there's a baby.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 37
Oh.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 38
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 39
Your friendly neighborhood C.I.D. Man. That's a real picture.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 40
- The coq au vin was delicious. - Well, why not? Vintage chicken.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 41
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 42
- [Coughing] - How do you feel?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 43
Or earmuffs, depending on the weather.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 44
Pictures of me and the girls.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 45
A setup so I'd okay the Walker application.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 46
You're right. We don't have any pictures.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 47
What do I care if Walker marries some bimbo?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 48
- Here we are. - Plural at last.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 49
Boy, when you make a toast, you don't fool around.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 50
Aired 45 years ago - Oct 20, 1973

Hawkeye operates on a 5-year old Korean boy, and Radar can't find his family. Henry plans to send him to the orphanage, and the camp enjoys his company while they can. Trapper decides to adopt him after consulting his wife, and has to rescue him after he wanders into the minefield. Kim's mother turns up at the orphanage looking for him.

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 1
A teeny, tiny little nurse all your own.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 2
"'You Made Me Love You, I Didn't Wanna Do It'... the Cole Porter arrangement.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 3
It's a perfectly good little story about life in everyday America.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 4
He was doin' great until the house mother and Dr. Clean-cut got here.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 5
- Did you hear me, Mclntyre? - Take a walk, Major.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 6
- What's going on here? - These two are poisoning this child!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 7
- You want smut? I'll give you smut. - Do you realize what...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 8
Of course they do. Right after they make those funny sounds.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 9
It's for the kid. What'd you find out about him?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 10
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 11
What's that? Uh, no, we can't locate the folks or the village.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 12
Oh, uh, I'm playing with my doll, Pierce.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 13
I've got no choice. This is a hospital. We can't take care of a child.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 14
Boy, that is rich. You guys are barely housebroken yourselves.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 15
If you guys have got something better than Sister Theresa's, I'm all ears.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 16
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Look at it, look at it. Now you say "boo."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 20
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 21
Oh, frankly, we didn't expect any complications, Sister,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 22
Yes. Thank you for calling, Sister. Yeah.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 23
Uh, "table" is, uh...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 24
- It's Thursday night. - So?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 25
Are you going to do all three bears?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 26
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 27
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 28
- Hello, Father. - Good morning, Father.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 29
You didn't hold it up to the light, did you, Father?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 30
"If there's anything I can do to help at this end, just let me know.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 31
I have to ask you, just one apiece, please.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 32
That's the beginning of faith, Trapper.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 33
You're really so beautiful the way the sun lights up the hairs in your ear.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 34
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 35
- [Screams] - Terrific!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 36
- There must be a map to this field. - Get it!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 37
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 38
- Why aren't they under "M"? - Because they're under "B" for "boom."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 39
He's right. It's west.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 40
- Eight yards. - Just take eight steps.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 41
Hold it!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 42
three-and-a-half grids to your right.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 43
Well, Henry, will you get your three-inch finger out and tell me?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 44
Okay. Now, that oughta put you safely in the heart of downtown Berlin.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 45
Six inches in any direction, and you'll get home sooner than any of us.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 46
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 47
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 48
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 49
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 50
Aired 45 years ago - Oct 13, 1973

Hawkeye has been in non-stop surgery for 3 straight days without sleep, and the wounded keep coming. He decides to find out who started the war, and sends a telegram to Harry S Truman. After listening to some of Frank's rubbish about the North Koreans wanting better plumbing, he tries to send the officers' latrine to the North Koreans with an offer of peace. Trapper finally manages to sedate him. Trapper (about Hawkeye): "I guess he's just unstable. You see, he took this weird oath as a young man, never to just stand by and watch people die." MORE -LESS

Aired 45 years ago - Oct 06, 1973

Hawkeye and Trapper want the army to admit responsibility for the accidental bombing of a local village. They fill out a report and Major Stoner arrives to investigate, and leaves with all the evidence. When the story is released it claims that the enemy bombed the village, and the army tries to gag the doctors. But, thinking there could be a medal in it for him, Frank has also put a report together, with copies of all the evidence, including shell fragments, so the army comes clean. MORE -LESS

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 1
Hey. Just what we thought. I checked with a guy in Artillery.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 2
Uh-huh. Well, you file that report,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 3
- Are you guys making this report together? - Why not?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 4
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 5
I'm driving, so I'll just have a double.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 6
Air strike, armored attack, artillery, atomic."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 7
- Well, what have we gotta do here? - [Door Opens]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 8
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 9
Frank.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 10
Frank, I'm sorry, all right?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 11
Frank, come on, listen. You can't turn your back on those people.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 12
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Come in.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 14
This is somewhat of a frightening honor.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 15
a 2759, stroke whatever?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 16
- Colonel? - Hmm?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 17
- Oh, yes, sir. - Well, there you go. Clear as mother's milk.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 18
- Major Stoner? - Yes, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 19
Oh, he's from the inspector general's office.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 20
Change the dressing, Ginger, and then she can go back to whatever's left of her home.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 21
- Pierce. - These patients look alleged to you?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 22
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Oh, no, just a simple honorable discharge and, say, 50,000 a year, tax free.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 24
Then you should have filed the report.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 25
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 26
Clever, the way the cook sculpts grease into the shape of lamb chops.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 27
- Has a nice Genghis Khan feeling. - What does that mean?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 28
"sustained damage and casualties...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 29
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Oh, well, look, Captain, I just got back from Okinawa,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 31
Bye.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 32
"Well, I got a favor that needs doing.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 33
Well, I have this problem.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 34
to get in touch with a certain... senator... about a certain favor,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 35
Hey! I just got her!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 36
- That means I'm under arrest. - Not at all.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 37
This poop sheet's just come in from General Clayton's office down in Seoul.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 38
they're getting the first soft ice cream stand in all of East Asia.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 39
- Who are you calling? - I'm going over your fly to General Clayton.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 40
You can't get arms.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 41
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 42
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 43
All right, men. Let's talk Tai-Dong.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 44
Makes you feel the whole war is worthwhile.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 45
It was in all the papers.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 46
Uh-oh.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 47
like "agitator," "boat-rocker"...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 48
You could easily find yourself assigned to a first-aid station, right where it's happening.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 49
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 50
- Major Burns was on duty that day. - Indeed, I was.
Aired 45 years ago - Sep 29, 1973

Radar writes the weekly activity report. Hawkeye operates on a wounded prisoner who grabs a scalpel and attacks the doctors. Frank wants Klinger thrown out on a section 8,so Henry calls in a psychiatrist, Major Freedman. Hawkeye is attracted to a new nurse but thinks she is married. Trapper loses a patient who developed complications during the O.R. fracas with the wounded soldier. MORE -LESS

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 1
- Just operate. - Is that what he's doing?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 2
Just my luck, under that mask you don't have any teeth.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 3
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 4
Bungchow. That means peace and friendship.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 5
Get away from here, you nut!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 6
Bungchow! Bungchow!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 7
Easy. It's okay now. No one's gonna hurt you. Just give...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 8
Take it easy. It's all right.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 9
thinking it was Chinese for peace and friendship.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 10
brand name, Miss High Rise,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 11
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 12
A cheeky little wine. They call it the "rascal of the vineyards."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 13
Prisoner winged her. Superficial, but it should be good for a week in Tokyo.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 14
You do your part and I'll do mine.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 15
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No, we don't! You get out of here, you pervert!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 17
Frank, you're so exciting when you get all riled up and decisive.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 18
- I'm glad you're feeling better. - Just a bit throbby, that's all.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 19
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 20
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- Something has to be done. - I've sent for Corporal Klinger, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 22
- Colonel... - Frank, please try to say something.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 23
Okay, he's here. Let's have it. What's wrong with Klinger?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 24
This moron is bucking for a section 8, and I want you to help him get it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 25
Col. Blake has requested psychiatrist from headquarters...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 26
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 27
Fill her up please, pal. Everything under the hood is okay.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 28
Oh. [Chuckles] It's like that.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 29
Trapper, the O.R. Just sent me over.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 30
I can do without it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 31
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Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 33
He's here, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 34
Whether he needs a girdle under that? Whether his seams are straight?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 35
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 36
- Why do I wanna kiss your thermometer? - Oh, come on.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 37
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 38
- Was it really that important? - Even before I knew if you had teeth.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 39
I never wanted to kiss your thermometer.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 40
He's got an abscess... fever, secondary infection, elevated white count.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 41
You're working with a terminal bachelor.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 42
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 43
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 44
Getting all that juice you need?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 45
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 46
- You may also have postnasal drip. - I ain't any of those.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 47
You know what you can do with this.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 48
Ooh, so this is the Swamp.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 49
Don't you think we oughta talk about it before you start knitting little things?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 50
- I thought we had something going here. - We do, something very strong.
Aired 45 years ago - Sep 22, 1973

An inept North Korean pilot, known as "5 O'Clock Charlie", makes his daily attempt to bomb the ammo dump. Frank puts in a request for an anti-aircraft gun, which is granted when Charlie hits General Clayton's jeep. Frank takes charge of the gun, while Hawkeye and Trapper are determined to prevent him using it, by getting rid of the ammo dump. Frank misses Charlie and destroys the dump. MORE -LESS

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 1
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 2
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One minute to Charlie. The betting book is now closed.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 4
Two of mine were stolen last week.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 5
[Chattering]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 6
for the sixth hit week...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 7
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 8
Well done, Charles!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 9
Results of the pool will be announced in just a few minutes.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 10
- Colonel! - Frank, Charlie is like one of our own.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 11
Colonel, I insist you do something about these raids!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 12
Hey, that's pretty surprising for a first baseman.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 13
You'd think a man with R.O.T.C. Training wouldn't go peeking up a doll's skirt.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 14
CorporalJohnson came next with 22-3/4.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 15
We're having a poker game in the Swamp tonight. Saved you a seat.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 16
- Fifty-two yards, Colonel. - Fifty-two yards, Colonel.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 17
A gun, sir. A 40 "M.M." gun.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 18
We need an antiaircraft gun desperately, General!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 19
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 20
Someday all of this will come out:
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 21
Here's our money, mister. Don't staple us.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 22
- Terribly sorry, Padre. - Oh, that's all right, General.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 23
Uh, y-you know Major Burns? Major Frank Burns?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 24
- The colonel and two captains. - Try to influence you against the gun.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 25
- Yes, sir. - Privately!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 26
Great. Now we're taking lessons from the losers.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 27
[P.A. Announcer] One minute to Charlie! One minute!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 28
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 29
[Bomb Whistling]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 30
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 31
The eyes of the military are upon us.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 32
and you... will be the squad.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 33
Hep, hup, hip, four. Hep, hup, hip, four.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 34
Cut that out, face!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 35
That strikes me funny, not. I think it ill behooves us...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 36
Maybe you haven't noticed in the operating room, but we do have wounded.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 37
Hep, hup, hep, four. Hep, hup, hep, four.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 38
On one of his nocturnal visits to Hot Lips, we sew him to the tent.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 39
I wish it would fly down his throat.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 40
Cardozo, booze?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 41
You're only a dentist.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 42
You take away the gun, you take away Frank's motivation...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 43
Yeah, but four dozen sheets?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 44
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 45
And poor Frank won't be able to play with his "ack-ack" anymore.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 46
We'd better take care of that contingency.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 47
- We think it's an early abscess. - Well, why call on me?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 48
Fantastic. He goes right to the heart of the clinical picture.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 49
[Engine Sputtering]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 50
You... You sneaks!
Aired 45 years ago - Sep 15, 1973

Brought on by Frank and Margaret's negative reports, General Clayton assigns a psychiatrist, Captain Hildebrand, to examine the 4077th M*A*S*H unit, to see if it should be disbanded. Henry tells them to be on their best behavior, or else they will be split up. But the 4077th soon begins to act in their traditional, insane ways: the shrink experiences Max Klinger, watches the hijinks of Hawkeye and Trapper John, and witnesses the trysts of Frank and Hot Lips. While Hildebrand confronts the unit on its behaviour, choppers bearing wounded begin to arrive and everyone heads for the OR. The onslaught of casualties shows the 4077th's true side. MORE -LESS

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 1
Oh, Margaret. That's delicious.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 2
You're going to need a bath, you naughty girl.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 3
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 4
Gimme three.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 5
My concern is that the 4077...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 6
- Longfingers. - Longfingers.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 7
We're about to button this kid up. Let's get the next one in. Move it!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 8
Get the fire out first, boys. Get the fire out first.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 9
And for your purposes, it might be best...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 10
I mean, we've been together so long, we're like a family.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 11
- Like a brandy, Captain? - No, thanks.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 12
it'll build up to an incredible amount of pressure around here!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 13
Great little kidder, that one.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 14
The 4077 is one of the most committed, responsible bunch of people...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 15
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 16
Oh, there's nothing wrong with Klinger.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 17
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 18
- I mean, the P.I.B. Tent. - Follow me, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 19
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 20
All I know is he says it's important.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 21
But Clayton sent this joker Hildebrand to spy on us.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 22
Pierce, can you lay off the wisecracks for just five minutes?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 23
I mean, as screwy as this outfit is, better the devil you know, right?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 24
- Just a minute. Go. - [Objects Clattering]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 25
He's a psychiatrist, and he's here on Clayton's orders.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 26
it might just happen that we all get split up.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 27
Everybody's agreed to behave themselves in front of Capt. Hildebrand...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 28
##[Continues]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 29
It's disgusting that you sleep in your underwear.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 30
Ha, ha, ha.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 31
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 32
Tonight's subject will be...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 33
There we go. Pierce, Mclntyre, I'd like you to meet Capt. Hildebrand.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 34
[Forced Chuckling]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 35
Capt. Hildebrand, nose, throat and bloomers.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 36
- Henry? The butter. - Hmm?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 37
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 38
Every nurse I've ever known takes a backseat to the major.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 39
##[P. A: Woman Singing "Hi Lily, Hi Lo"In Korean]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 40
##[Continues]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 41
Immediately following mass this Sunday, Yom Kippur services...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 42
with its connotations of innocence...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 43
under the stress of war.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 44
Even tipping them off couldn't keep them from behaving the way they really feel.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 45
You stay out of this, Hot Lips, or I'll stop selling tickets to your shower day.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 46
not to mention just plain dictators, to keep a cold war from turning hot,
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 47
- Speak for yourself. - [Inaudible]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 48
- [Chattering, Indistinct] - [Houlihan] We need some sponges here.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 49
- Get somebody to give us some sponges. - You got it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 50
That's better. I can see a little better.