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M*A*S*H

S3 E13
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Ended
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CBS
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Season 3  "Mad Dogs and Servicemen"  3x13

Aired 49 years ago - Dec 10, 1974

A local dog bites Radar, and the camp conducts a search to find the pooch, so that Radar doesn't have to undergo a series of painful rabies vaccinations. Hawkeye defies Frank, to take care of a GI who's suffering from a case of hysterical paralysis.

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Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 1
are the two biggest numbers on the Korean hit parade.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 2
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 3
and when the bell rings, Trapper will come over and beat your brains out.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 4
the tanks, I guess.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 5
He goes to Tokyo, and that's an order.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 6
Been losing screws and clickin' his heels ever since.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 7
Listen, I'd love for you to come up here and try your new therapy on him.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 8
Okay, I'll try.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 9
- Fine. You want to act it out or whisper it in my ear? - It's about Corporal Travis.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 10
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 11
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 12
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 13
Personally, mine is at 2:00, 4:00 and 6:00 every day.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 14
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 15
you're gonna get yourself a good job as a doorstop!
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 16
Otherwise, you're gonna be a pretty big papoose for somebody's backpack!
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 17
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 18
But if I shake hands with one more farmer, I'll probably be elected to office.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 19
- How's your hand? - It's okay.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 20
And it looks like Ike's got this nomination all sewn up.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 21
- You haven't seen him, huh? - I don't think so.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 22
- Uh, what'd he say? What'd he say? - "K-Kay... Kay koom moouh."
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 23
It's a very common dish among our older people.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 24
- Wait a minute. We're still not out of the woods, Radar. - What do you mean?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 25
Yes, ma'am.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 26
Well, all right, but rest assured, I won't listen to a word I read.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 27
"laying down your life, etcetera, so may not have time to write back.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 28
"That's probably why everyone tells me I'm sweet. Ha ha.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 29
The "Diddy Bo Diddy" thing?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 30
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 31
"S-W-A-K, Wanda Nell.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 32
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 33
- I swear it's a word. I swear it on Frank's life. - "Vailness"?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 34
Okay, okay. What I need is another drink.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 35
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 36
just write it down and put it on my desk where I can't find it.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 37
- We're just following Sid Freedman's advice. - Sid's the best.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 38
and send him back to a nice, clean hospital, it just deepens the guilt.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 39
Aw, Frank, you're not gonna call your mother again?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 40
My wife says I'm easy to talk to... whenever we're talkin'.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 41
That's where I interned when I wasn't tryin' to sneak into the ballpark.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 42
[Moans]
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 43
- You sure? - He's on his way to the R.O.K.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 44
where the key to the bottom of my liquor cabinet might be?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 45
I'll request one for you right away.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 46
Those tanks, they just kept coming and coming...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 47
I really tried...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 48
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 49
[Dog Barks]
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 50
Just gonna ease over... nice and friendly...

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 2 #2 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 3
and when the bell rings, Trapper will come over and beat your brains out.
#3 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 4
the tanks, I guess.
#4 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 5
He goes to Tokyo, and that's an order.
#5 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 6
Been losing screws and clickin' his heels ever since.
#6 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 7
Listen, I'd love for you to come up here and try your new therapy on him.
#7 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 8
Okay, I'll try.
#8 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 9
- Fine. You want to act it out or whisper it in my ear? - It's about Corporal Travis.
#9 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 10 #10 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 11 #11 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 12 #12 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 13
Personally, mine is at 2:00, 4:00 and 6:00 every day.
#13 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 14 #14 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 15
you're gonna get yourself a good job as a doorstop!
#15 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 16
Otherwise, you're gonna be a pretty big papoose for somebody's backpack!
#16 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 17 #17 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 18
But if I shake hands with one more farmer, I'll probably be elected to office.
#18 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 19
- How's your hand? - It's okay.
#19 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 20
And it looks like Ike's got this nomination all sewn up.
#20 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 21
- You haven't seen him, huh? - I don't think so.
#21 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 22
- Uh, what'd he say? What'd he say? - "K-Kay... Kay koom moouh."
#22 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 23
It's a very common dish among our older people.
#23 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 24
- Wait a minute. We're still not out of the woods, Radar. - What do you mean?
#24 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 25
Yes, ma'am.
#25 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 26
Well, all right, but rest assured, I won't listen to a word I read.
#26 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 27
"laying down your life, etcetera, so may not have time to write back.
#27 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 28
"That's probably why everyone tells me I'm sweet. Ha ha.
#28 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 29
The "Diddy Bo Diddy" thing?
#29 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 30 #30 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 31
"S-W-A-K, Wanda Nell.
#31 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 32 #32 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 33
- I swear it's a word. I swear it on Frank's life. - "Vailness"?
#33 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 34
Okay, okay. What I need is another drink.
#34 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 35 #35 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 36
just write it down and put it on my desk where I can't find it.
#36 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 37
- We're just following Sid Freedman's advice. - Sid's the best.
#37 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 38
and send him back to a nice, clean hospital, it just deepens the guilt.
#38 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 39
Aw, Frank, you're not gonna call your mother again?
#39 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 40
My wife says I'm easy to talk to... whenever we're talkin'.
#40 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 41
That's where I interned when I wasn't tryin' to sneak into the ballpark.
#41 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 42
[Moans]
#42 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 43
- You sure? - He's on his way to the R.O.K.
#43 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 44
where the key to the bottom of my liquor cabinet might be?
#44 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 45
I'll request one for you right away.
#45 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 46
Those tanks, they just kept coming and coming...
#46 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 47
I really tried...
#47 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 48 #48 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 49
[Dog Barks]
#49 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 50
Just gonna ease over... nice and friendly...
#50