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M*A*S*H

S3 E9
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Ended
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CBS
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Season 3  "Alcoholics Unanimous"  3x9

Aired 49 years ago - Nov 12, 1974

Henry's departure to Tokyo leaves Major Burns in charge of the 4077th. He declares total prohibition of alcohol, which leads to a near riot amongst the camp, especially from Hawkeye and Trapper.

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Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 1
No movie. No soft personnel.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 2
I'm in command until Colonel Blake's absence is replaced with his presence.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 3
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 4
Mother's milk.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 5
We do not have a drinking problem.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 6
"Do you sometimes gulp drinks?"
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 7
- The answer to question number three is no. - There's just no question.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 8
We need a drink!
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 9
illud obtuli sit...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 10
Oh, Klinger. I don't know what I'd do without you.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 11
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 12
I'm sorry your still is broken, Hawkeye.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 13
I'm sorry I can't help you.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 14
by singing hymn 216 on page 50 of your green book.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 15
Oh, Frank, every day you remind me more and more of Dad.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 16
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 17
These childish, silly reasons for their drinking.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 18
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 19
Don't take away my little "nippy" bottle.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 20
- Well? What is it? - The daily report needs to be signed, sir.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 21
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 22
Alcohol, alcohol, alcohol.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 23
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 24
[Gasps]
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 25
Shot? This is just medicine.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 26
- Oh, no, sir. - You can tell the truth. They hate me, don't they?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 27
# So I could say hello to Mother every day ##
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 28
# Come on in, take off your skin and rattle around... #
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 29
- Don't tell anybody. - Don't tell anyone.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 30
- [Hawkeye] Days. - Days.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 31
From now on, anyone... anyone caught with any kind of intoxicating beverage...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 32
Have you ever given a lecture on temperance, Father? On the evils of drink?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 33
One was from Cleveland, ostensibly...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 34
- Father... - Broke his wristwatch and everything.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 35
It'll be a general order. No one will be excused.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 36
I don't have three hands. Ask a nurse to do it, Doctor!
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 37
I'm not worthy of you, Frank.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 38
No personnel will be excepted...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 39
Big deal.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 40
Field and Stream. How can you read this stuff?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 41
- I'm a slob? - Yeah!
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 42
If I thought that, I'd rent myself out to a firing squad.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 43
Already? I can't believe it.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 44
- You have anything around here? - Oh. In my desk...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 45
Frank, what a turnout.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 46
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 47
[Knocking On Door]
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 48
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 49
[Clears Throat] It shall be a statute forever throughout your generations. "
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 50
It's rather warm in here.

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 2
I'm in command until Colonel Blake's absence is replaced with his presence.
#2 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 3 #3 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 4
Mother's milk.
#4 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 5
We do not have a drinking problem.
#5 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 6
"Do you sometimes gulp drinks?"
#6 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 7
- The answer to question number three is no. - There's just no question.
#7 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 8
We need a drink!
#8 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 9
illud obtuli sit...
#9 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 10
Oh, Klinger. I don't know what I'd do without you.
#10 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 11 #11 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 12
I'm sorry your still is broken, Hawkeye.
#12 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 13
I'm sorry I can't help you.
#13 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 14
by singing hymn 216 on page 50 of your green book.
#14 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 15
Oh, Frank, every day you remind me more and more of Dad.
#15 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 16 #16 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 17
These childish, silly reasons for their drinking.
#17 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 18 #18 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 19
Don't take away my little "nippy" bottle.
#19 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 20
- Well? What is it? - The daily report needs to be signed, sir.
#20 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 21 #21 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 22
Alcohol, alcohol, alcohol.
#22 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 23 #23 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 24
[Gasps]
#24 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 25
Shot? This is just medicine.
#25 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 26
- Oh, no, sir. - You can tell the truth. They hate me, don't they?
#26 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 27
# So I could say hello to Mother every day ##
#27 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 28
# Come on in, take off your skin and rattle around... #
#28 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 29
- Don't tell anybody. - Don't tell anyone.
#29 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 30
- [Hawkeye] Days. - Days.
#30 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 31
From now on, anyone... anyone caught with any kind of intoxicating beverage...
#31 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 32
Have you ever given a lecture on temperance, Father? On the evils of drink?
#32 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 33
One was from Cleveland, ostensibly...
#33 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 34
- Father... - Broke his wristwatch and everything.
#34 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 35
It'll be a general order. No one will be excused.
#35 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 36
I don't have three hands. Ask a nurse to do it, Doctor!
#36 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 37
I'm not worthy of you, Frank.
#37 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 38
No personnel will be excepted...
#38 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 39
Big deal.
#39 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 40
Field and Stream. How can you read this stuff?
#40 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 41
- I'm a slob? - Yeah!
#41 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 42
If I thought that, I'd rent myself out to a firing squad.
#42 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 43
Already? I can't believe it.
#43 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 44
- You have anything around here? - Oh. In my desk...
#44 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 45
Frank, what a turnout.
#45 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 46 #46 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 47
[Knocking On Door]
#47 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 48 #48 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 49
[Clears Throat] It shall be a statute forever throughout your generations. "
#49 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 50
It's rather warm in here.
#50