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M*A*S*H

S2 E22
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Ended
Network
CBS
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Season 2  "George"  2x22

Aired 50 years ago - Feb 16, 1974

Burns tries to slap a dishonorable discharge on a decorated soldier who admits to being a homosexual, Private Weston. Weston: "Two guys got beaten up in my outfit. One colored, the other homosexual. As you can see, Doc., I'm not colored."

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Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 1
Who are they to remind us of happiness?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 2
- Sir? - Yeah, I'll take another cup.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 3
- Looked like somebody used him for batting practice. - We're all out.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 4
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 5
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 6
Well, that certainly explains all the noise at night.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 7
Everything's under control. We're having a consultation about medical needs.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 8
Why, he really fries my butt.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 9
- It really makes me see red. - Yes, sir.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 10
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 11
I like mine through the boot.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 12
'Course, I charge extra for 12.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 13
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 14
- Its option's been picked up. - But there's no question that I will be back?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 15
Listen, Doc. I've watched you around the hospital.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 16
One colored and one homosexual.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 17
And you wanna go back to that outfit?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 18
- [Grunting] - You won't say anything about our talk?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 19
[Groans] Can you get tennis elbow from checkers?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 20
[Glasses Clunking]
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 21
Weston. The one with contusions.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 22
Whenever he went to the bathroom or conquered a country. Know what they also say?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 23
- We already whitewashed the fence, Aunt Polly. - Ha-ha.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 24
Is this person a well-stacked U.S. Army major nurse...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 25
- "One of those," Frank? - Which one of those "thoses" do you mean, Frank?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 26
- I'm also an American. - All right. You're an American surgeon.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 27
Relax, Frank. He'll be gone in a couple of days.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 28
Well, even a powder puff can get lucky... sometimes.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 29
following today's training film on trench foot.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 30
- I was talking to the major, Captain. - You talk to the captain.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 31
Why wasn't I informed? I am head nurse.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 32
- Frank, I don't understand. - Private Weston is sick, diseased.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 33
Frank had the duty roster changed because his pulse...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 34
he'll get the dishonorable discharge he deserves.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 35
- How do I sound? - Uh, get some rest,
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 36
I suggest immediate isolation and recommend a dishonorable discharge.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 37
- He's not a man. - A woman? There's no woman in post-op. You know that.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 38
Well, you just never know, do you?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 39
I can't describe it. It's like a little nativity scene.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 40
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 41
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 42
Major Burns is loaded with static. He was born in a taxi with the radio on...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 43
I honestly believe Henry Blake could be held up through the mail.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 44
- You have beautiful hands. - Thank you. They're my mother's.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 45
- Look, let's skip the manicure. - Voila. El finko himself.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 46
Frank said he'd go over my head. I said, "Go." He's done it so many times,
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 47
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 48
- Don't feel like what, Frank? - Hmm?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 49
Hold it. Her flaps are rustling.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 50
And there will now be a short pause while he skulks casually back to the swamp.

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 2
- Sir? - Yeah, I'll take another cup.
#2 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 3
- Looked like somebody used him for batting practice. - We're all out.
#3 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 4 #4 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 5 #5 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 6
Well, that certainly explains all the noise at night.
#6 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 7
Everything's under control. We're having a consultation about medical needs.
#7 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 8
Why, he really fries my butt.
#8 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 9
- It really makes me see red. - Yes, sir.
#9 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 10 #10 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 11
I like mine through the boot.
#11 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 12
'Course, I charge extra for 12.
#12 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 13 #13 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 14
- Its option's been picked up. - But there's no question that I will be back?
#14 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 15
Listen, Doc. I've watched you around the hospital.
#15 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 16
One colored and one homosexual.
#16 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 17
And you wanna go back to that outfit?
#17 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 18
- [Grunting] - You won't say anything about our talk?
#18 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 19
[Groans] Can you get tennis elbow from checkers?
#19 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 20
[Glasses Clunking]
#20 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 21
Weston. The one with contusions.
#21 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 22
Whenever he went to the bathroom or conquered a country. Know what they also say?
#22 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 23
- We already whitewashed the fence, Aunt Polly. - Ha-ha.
#23 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 24
Is this person a well-stacked U.S. Army major nurse...
#24 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 25
- "One of those," Frank? - Which one of those "thoses" do you mean, Frank?
#25 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 26
- I'm also an American. - All right. You're an American surgeon.
#26 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 27
Relax, Frank. He'll be gone in a couple of days.
#27 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 28
Well, even a powder puff can get lucky... sometimes.
#28 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 29
following today's training film on trench foot.
#29 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 30
- I was talking to the major, Captain. - You talk to the captain.
#30 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 31
Why wasn't I informed? I am head nurse.
#31 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 32
- Frank, I don't understand. - Private Weston is sick, diseased.
#32 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 33
Frank had the duty roster changed because his pulse...
#33 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 34
he'll get the dishonorable discharge he deserves.
#34 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 35
- How do I sound? - Uh, get some rest,
#35 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 36
I suggest immediate isolation and recommend a dishonorable discharge.
#36 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 37
- He's not a man. - A woman? There's no woman in post-op. You know that.
#37 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 38
Well, you just never know, do you?
#38 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 39
I can't describe it. It's like a little nativity scene.
#39 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 40 #40 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 41 #41 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 42
Major Burns is loaded with static. He was born in a taxi with the radio on...
#42 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 43
I honestly believe Henry Blake could be held up through the mail.
#43 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 44
- You have beautiful hands. - Thank you. They're my mother's.
#44 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 45
- Look, let's skip the manicure. - Voila. El finko himself.
#45 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 46
Frank said he'd go over my head. I said, "Go." He's done it so many times,
#46 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 47 #47 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 48
- Don't feel like what, Frank? - Hmm?
#48 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 49
Hold it. Her flaps are rustling.
#49 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 2 Episode 22 (S02E22) - 50
And there will now be a short pause while he skulks casually back to the swamp.
#50