S9 E1
Status
Ended
Network
CBS
SEASON
VIEW ALL EPISODE

Season 9  "Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt"  9x1

Aired 11 years ago - Sep 19, 2011

Alan and Jake meet Walden Schmidt, a broken-hearted billionaire.

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Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 2 #2 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 3
Never cross a crazy woman.
#3
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 4
Anyone else hungry?
#4
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 5
Charlie was the best boss I ever had.
#5
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 6 #6 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 7
I still don't see why we have to sell.
#7
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 8
Good job raising him.
#8
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 9
I mean, won't I get a lot of money from the sale?
#9
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 10
Don't think those silent ones are fooling anybody.
#10
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 11
Wait a minute, I know this place.
#11
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 12 #12 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 13
Just let the universe provide.
#13
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 14
for every penny you've got.
#14
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 15
I got a package for Alan Harper.
#15
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 16
Berta, Charlie's here!
#16
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 17 #17 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 18
Well...
#18
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 19
I, uh, I wanted to tell you, uh, that I loved you,
#19
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 20
So, now the question is...
#20
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 21
but that's how horror movies start.
#21
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 22
Kind of like your life.
#22
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 23
I guess now is as good a time as any.
#23
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 24 #24 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 25
Yeah. But I had no idea that the water would be that cold.
#25
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 26 #26 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 27
Because it was cold.
#27
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 28 #28 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 29
Oh, come on. It... it can't be that bad.
#29
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 30
I'm worth, like, a billion dollars.
#30
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 31
I want Bridget.
#31
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 32
You're living in a beach house in Malibu.
#32
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 33
I'll get out of your way.
#33
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 34
About what?
#34
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 35
Oh, by the way...
#35
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 36
You're a good guy, Alan Harper.
#36
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 37
Uh, I will have an appletini.
#37
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 38
How it makes you feel tall, good-looking and smart.
#38
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 39
You ever hear of Blungogo.com?
#39
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 40
You bought a Zune?
#40
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 41
but I can't get the image of your penis out of my mind.
#41
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 42
She catch you with another woman?
#42
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 43
Well, she said that I was emotionally immature.
#43
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 44
and when she divorced me, I was devastated.
#44
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 45
If anything, she treated them
#45
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 46
Really?
#46
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 47
- I'm Walden. - Kelly.
#47
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 48
My... wife dumped me, and I want to die.
#48
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 49
if I can ever love anyone
#49
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 1 (S09E01) - 50 #50