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Two and a Half Men

S2 E1
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CBS
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Season 2  "Back Off, Mary Poppins"  2x1

Aired 20 years ago - Sep 20, 2004

Alan learns that Charlie belongs to an exclusive men's group, and he begs his brother to let him join.

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Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 1
How is he your buddy? You didn't choose him.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 2
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 3
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 4
Uncle Charlie. And you know why it's funny? Because it's true.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 5
Do you consider us friends?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 6
Oh, really? Anybody I know?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 7
This is my house. Those were my friends.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 8
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 9
We have to go through this every time we get together?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 10
All right. How do I say this?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 11
Oh, drat.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 12
All I wanna do is finish my Corn Pops and go to sleep.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 13
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 14
Flag, drag, hag.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 15
...like...
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 16
Don't worry, I just need my phone book.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 17
He's our bookie.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 18
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 19
Of course, I guess in hindsight, I should have seen it coming, but...
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 20
You just saw him, didn't you? Trust me, he doesn't get any better.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 21
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 22
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 23
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 24
Oh, really? You and Roz are at Judith's too. Interesting.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 25
No, no, no, I don't wanna take it up with her. I...
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 26
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 27
You know, as long as we're talking about getting older...
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 28
But I'm competing for women with guys who are way younger.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 29
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 30
Let me tell you something about relevant.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 31
Your brother is your relative, ergo, your brother is relevant.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 32
Another "rel" word is "relapse."
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 33
Well, I'd like to think we are.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 34
Charlie's got some friends over and I thought I'd give him some space.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 35
...and thought you might like some company.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 36
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 37
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 38
Now Alan thinks he can waltz right in because he's my little brother?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 39
Charlie, you know in your heart the right thing to do.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 40
You're working on my last nerve.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 41
That, and every so often, sneak into his bedroom and try on his underwear.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 42
Why don't you take a Beano and come back to the house and join the group.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 43
It would be inconvenient for me to return right now.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 44
Cut it out, Rose.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 45
...or do I have to drag you in by your big, flappy monkey ears?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 46
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 47
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 48
Coop, what's up with your fixation on women who resemble Tobey Maguire?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 49
So I'll hang back and try not to disrupt the flow.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 50
But there is a "shut the hell up" shoe.

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 2 #2 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 3 #3 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 4
Uncle Charlie. And you know why it's funny? Because it's true.
#4 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 5
Do you consider us friends?
#5 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 6
Oh, really? Anybody I know?
#6 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 7
This is my house. Those were my friends.
#7 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 8 #8 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 9
We have to go through this every time we get together?
#9 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 10
All right. How do I say this?
#10 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 11
Oh, drat.
#11 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 12
All I wanna do is finish my Corn Pops and go to sleep.
#12 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 13 #13 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 14
Flag, drag, hag.
#14 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 15
...like...
#15 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 16
Don't worry, I just need my phone book.
#16 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 17
He's our bookie.
#17 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 18 #18 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 19
Of course, I guess in hindsight, I should have seen it coming, but...
#19 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 20
You just saw him, didn't you? Trust me, he doesn't get any better.
#20 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 21 #21 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 22 #22 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 23 #23 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 24
Oh, really? You and Roz are at Judith's too. Interesting.
#24 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 25
No, no, no, I don't wanna take it up with her. I...
#25 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 26 #26 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 27
You know, as long as we're talking about getting older...
#27 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 28
But I'm competing for women with guys who are way younger.
#28 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 29 #29 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 30
Let me tell you something about relevant.
#30 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 31
Your brother is your relative, ergo, your brother is relevant.
#31 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 32
Another "rel" word is "relapse."
#32 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 33
Well, I'd like to think we are.
#33 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 34
Charlie's got some friends over and I thought I'd give him some space.
#34 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 35
...and thought you might like some company.
#35 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 36 #36 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 37 #37 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 38
Now Alan thinks he can waltz right in because he's my little brother?
#38 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 39
Charlie, you know in your heart the right thing to do.
#39 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 40
You're working on my last nerve.
#40 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 41
That, and every so often, sneak into his bedroom and try on his underwear.
#41 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 42
Why don't you take a Beano and come back to the house and join the group.
#42 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 43
It would be inconvenient for me to return right now.
#43 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 44
Cut it out, Rose.
#44 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 45
...or do I have to drag you in by your big, flappy monkey ears?
#45 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 46 #46 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 47 #47 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 48
Coop, what's up with your fixation on women who resemble Tobey Maguire?
#48 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 49
So I'll hang back and try not to disrupt the flow.
#49 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 50
But there is a "shut the hell up" shoe.
#50