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Two and a Half Men

S9 E5
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Ended
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CBS
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Season 9  "A Giant Cat Holding a Churro"  9x5

Aired 13 years ago - Oct 17, 2011

Alan has trouble accepting Lyndsey's seedy movie past, and Walden tries to cheer him up by throwing a party.

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Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 1
I haven't watched much porn since college.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 2
This is not historically accurate.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 3
I can barely get my hand around it.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 4
If I wasn't here, would you be masturbating?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 5
I don't know.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 6
use that particular phrase.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 7
WOMAN: Yes! Yes!
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 8
Okay, I'm going to go upstairs and masturbate.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 9
Uh, you never fantasize about anybody else?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 10
Boy, she never let me do that to her.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 11
♪ Men, men, men, manly men ♪ ♪ Ooh ♪
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 12
♪ Two and a Half Men 9x05 ♪ A Giant Cat Holding a Churro Original Air Date on October 17, 2011
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 13
Can't expect me to turn on like a light switch
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 14
when my soul is screaming, "No""
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 15
We'll talk later.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 16
Bye, Berta.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 17
that I don't care about you as a human being.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 18
that they are not at all who you thought they were?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 19
Berta?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 20
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 21
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 22
Okay, I don't know how to say this
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 23
I turned on the TV and stumbled on
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 24
I mean, one minute I-I'm dating
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 25
I-I was young, stupid and needed the money.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 26
I'm sorry.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 27
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 28
my brother, uh, convinced me
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 29
So, long story short, I kissed the guy.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 30
Okay.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 31
because she gave you $50,000 to keep it a secret.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 32
Uh, it's just, I kind of stole them from my ex-wife.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 33
♪ Men. ♪
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 34
(laughing)
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 35
and Berta is making my head into a dreamcatcher.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 36
You should be a guest on my talk show.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 37
of thinking honesty is the best policy.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 38
you want to be completely honest
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 39
Well, it's been real nice talking at the two of you.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 40
Man, it is hard when the person you love doesn't love you back.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 41
Um, you don't have to call me back,
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 42
Um...
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 43
about your film career.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 44
Oh, she's gonna take that last part wrong.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 45
What's... what's going on?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 46
They're mmm-mmm good.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 47
You're right, I'm being thoughtless.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 48
(laughter)
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 49
Whoa, I just saw a giant cat holding a churro.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 50
Oh, God, you saw it, too?

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 2
This is not historically accurate.
#2 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 3
I can barely get my hand around it.
#3 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 4
If I wasn't here, would you be masturbating?
#4 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 5
I don't know.
#5 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 6
use that particular phrase.
#6 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 7
WOMAN: Yes! Yes!
#7 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 8
Okay, I'm going to go upstairs and masturbate.
#8 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 9
Uh, you never fantasize about anybody else?
#9 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 10
Boy, she never let me do that to her.
#10 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 11
♪ Men, men, men, manly men ♪ ♪ Ooh ♪
#11 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 12
♪ Two and a Half Men 9x05 ♪ A Giant Cat Holding a Churro Original Air Date on October 17, 2011
#12 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 13
Can't expect me to turn on like a light switch
#13 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 14
when my soul is screaming, "No""
#14 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 15
We'll talk later.
#15 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 16
Bye, Berta.
#16 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 17
that I don't care about you as a human being.
#17 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 18
that they are not at all who you thought they were?
#18 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 19
Berta?
#19 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 20 #20 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 21 #21 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 22
Okay, I don't know how to say this
#22 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 23
I turned on the TV and stumbled on
#23 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 24
I mean, one minute I-I'm dating
#24 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 25
I-I was young, stupid and needed the money.
#25 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 26
I'm sorry.
#26 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 27 #27 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 28
my brother, uh, convinced me
#28 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 29
So, long story short, I kissed the guy.
#29 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 30
Okay.
#30 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 31
because she gave you $50,000 to keep it a secret.
#31 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 32
Uh, it's just, I kind of stole them from my ex-wife.
#32 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 33
♪ Men. ♪
#33 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 34
(laughing)
#34 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 35
and Berta is making my head into a dreamcatcher.
#35 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 36
You should be a guest on my talk show.
#36 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 37
of thinking honesty is the best policy.
#37 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 38
you want to be completely honest
#38 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 39
Well, it's been real nice talking at the two of you.
#39 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 40
Man, it is hard when the person you love doesn't love you back.
#40 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 41
Um, you don't have to call me back,
#41 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 42
Um...
#42 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 43
about your film career.
#43 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 44
Oh, she's gonna take that last part wrong.
#44 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 45
What's... what's going on?
#45 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 46
They're mmm-mmm good.
#46 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 47
You're right, I'm being thoughtless.
#47 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 48
(laughter)
#48 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 49
Whoa, I just saw a giant cat holding a churro.
#49 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 5 (S09E05) - 50
Oh, God, you saw it, too?
#50