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Two and a Half Men

S9 E23
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Season 9  "The Straw in My Donut Hole"  9x23

Aired 12 years ago - May 07, 2012

Zoey isn't convinced Alan deserves all the love and affection he receives upon his return from the hospital.

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Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 1
But why's that good news?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 2
Take the tea.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 3
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 4
Ah... Oo-ho-ho-ho!
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 5
complete with a deluxe sports satellite package
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 6
You have to ask for them specifically.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 7
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 8
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 9
Poor guy, living with all that guilt.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 10
Oh, bollocks.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 11
Look, I see these kind of scam artists all the time
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 12
Uh, B-Berta, Alan's hungry.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 13
so she headed down to the restaurant
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 14
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 15
I'm not going anywhere.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 16
Hey, you.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 17
Er?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 18
How can you afford a condo in Palm Springs?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 19
I just figured you didn't like me.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 20
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 21
Don't worry, you lovely blue ladies,
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 22
for a guy who recently stared into the jaws of death.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 23
Uh, let me put my cobbler down.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 24
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 25
How fortuitous.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 26
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 27
Well, I've got some good news.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 28
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 29
Um, uh, is this confidential, what we're saying?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 30
Uh, my girlfriend, my ex-wife,
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 31
And once my girlfriend finds out that I'm healthy,
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 32
Uh, again, as your doctor,
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 33
Don't be a schmuck.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 34
Uh, listen, could you run down to the deli
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 35
It's real bad. Oh.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 36
Well, uh, remember when I was a kid
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 37
Yep, they're closed.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 38
It's the safest way for Alan to get up and down the stairs.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 39
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 40
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 41
For God's sake.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 42
My Uncle Fred had a blood clot in his leg,
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 43
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 44
sticking the straw in my donut hole?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 45
You may have everyone else around here fooled,
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 46
You've been warned.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 47
How about that?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 48
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 49
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 50
I asked one of the private investigators for my law firm

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 2
Take the tea.
#2 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 3 #3 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 4
Ah... Oo-ho-ho-ho!
#4 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 5
complete with a deluxe sports satellite package
#5 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 6
You have to ask for them specifically.
#6 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 7 #7 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 8 #8 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 9
Poor guy, living with all that guilt.
#9 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 10
Oh, bollocks.
#10 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 11
Look, I see these kind of scam artists all the time
#11 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 12
Uh, B-Berta, Alan's hungry.
#12 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 13
so she headed down to the restaurant
#13 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 14 #14 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 15
I'm not going anywhere.
#15 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 16
Hey, you.
#16 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 17
Er?
#17 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 18
How can you afford a condo in Palm Springs?
#18 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 19
I just figured you didn't like me.
#19 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 20 #20 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 21
Don't worry, you lovely blue ladies,
#21 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 22
for a guy who recently stared into the jaws of death.
#22 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 23
Uh, let me put my cobbler down.
#23 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 24 #24 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 25
How fortuitous.
#25 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 26 #26 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 27
Well, I've got some good news.
#27 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 28 #28 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 29
Um, uh, is this confidential, what we're saying?
#29 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 30
Uh, my girlfriend, my ex-wife,
#30 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 31
And once my girlfriend finds out that I'm healthy,
#31 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 32
Uh, again, as your doctor,
#32 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 33
Don't be a schmuck.
#33 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 34
Uh, listen, could you run down to the deli
#34 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 35
It's real bad. Oh.
#35 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 36
Well, uh, remember when I was a kid
#36 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 37
Yep, they're closed.
#37 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 38
It's the safest way for Alan to get up and down the stairs.
#38 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 39 #39 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 40 #40 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 41
For God's sake.
#41 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 42
My Uncle Fred had a blood clot in his leg,
#42 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 43 #43 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 44
sticking the straw in my donut hole?
#44 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 45
You may have everyone else around here fooled,
#45 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 46
You've been warned.
#46 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 47
How about that?
#47 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 48 #48 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 49 #49 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 23 (S09E23) - 50
I asked one of the private investigators for my law firm
#50