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Two and a Half Men

S9 E17
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Season 9  "Not in My Mouth!"  9x17

Aired 13 years ago - Feb 20, 2012

A near-death experience has an adverse effect on Zoey and Walden's relationship; Alan thinks Lyndsey may have a drinking problem.

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Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 1
along with a little squirt of pee.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 2
"Why do I smell pee?"
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 3
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 4
You know how I feel about you, right?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 5
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 6
(sighs)
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 7
You think?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 8
Anyway, I think you just have to be patient with Zoey.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 9
people throwing up.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 10
if I'm gonna end it, now would be a good time.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 11
I can't... I... I can't just leave th...
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 12
LINDSEY: Crap,
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 13
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 14
Nigel, di-isgusting.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 15
Are you sharing this information just to upset me?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 16
Enjoy her.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 17
the way that they are.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 18
Walden, I'm about to leave on an important business trip,
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 19
next time you jet to Francisco.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 20
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 21
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 22
Hey, can I have 75 bucks for the new Call of Duty?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 23
Who had corn chowder for dinner last night?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 24
Oh, no, no, gosh, no.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 25
WOMAN: That's great.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 26
can I talk to you for a minute?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 27
My friends call me... Jake.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 28
Oh, I met her in the elevator.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 29
I'd have never have had a girlfriend, a wife or a mother.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 30
24. How old are you?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 31
Where are you?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 32
But sitting here for the last 40 minutes
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 33
that if I do say them, something bad will happen.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 34
and a Swatch watch from Russell Brand.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 35
In fact, the whole reason I called is
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 36
No, no, Zoey, it's not what you think! Oh, good-bye, Walden.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 37
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 38
Looks like someone cleaned a deer in the bathtub.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 39
and fly to London and beg for forgiveness.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 40
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 41
You're kidding. Yeah. Come on.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 42
Thank you, Walden.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 43
No boarding passes, no airport security,
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 44
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 45
Oh. Thanks.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 46
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 47
Wally, this is so romantic what you're doing.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 48
I know I give you a hard time,
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 49
ALAN: Oh! Oh!
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 50
PILOT (over PA): Okay, folks,

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 2
"Why do I smell pee?"
#2 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 3 #3 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 4
You know how I feel about you, right?
#4 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 5 #5 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 6
(sighs)
#6 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 7
You think?
#7 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 8
Anyway, I think you just have to be patient with Zoey.
#8 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 9
people throwing up.
#9 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 10
if I'm gonna end it, now would be a good time.
#10 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 11
I can't... I... I can't just leave th...
#11 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 12
LINDSEY: Crap,
#12 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 13 #13 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 14
Nigel, di-isgusting.
#14 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 15
Are you sharing this information just to upset me?
#15 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 16
Enjoy her.
#16 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 17
the way that they are.
#17 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 18
Walden, I'm about to leave on an important business trip,
#18 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 19
next time you jet to Francisco.
#19 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 20 #20 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 21 #21 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 22
Hey, can I have 75 bucks for the new Call of Duty?
#22 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 23
Who had corn chowder for dinner last night?
#23 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 24
Oh, no, no, gosh, no.
#24 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 25
WOMAN: That's great.
#25 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 26
can I talk to you for a minute?
#26 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 27
My friends call me... Jake.
#27 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 28
Oh, I met her in the elevator.
#28 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 29
I'd have never have had a girlfriend, a wife or a mother.
#29 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 30
24. How old are you?
#30 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 31
Where are you?
#31 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 32
But sitting here for the last 40 minutes
#32 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 33
that if I do say them, something bad will happen.
#33 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 34
and a Swatch watch from Russell Brand.
#34 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 35
In fact, the whole reason I called is
#35 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 36
No, no, Zoey, it's not what you think! Oh, good-bye, Walden.
#36 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 37 #37 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 38
Looks like someone cleaned a deer in the bathtub.
#38 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 39
and fly to London and beg for forgiveness.
#39 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 40 #40 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 41
You're kidding. Yeah. Come on.
#41 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 42
Thank you, Walden.
#42 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 43
No boarding passes, no airport security,
#43 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 44 #44 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 45
Oh. Thanks.
#45 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 46 #46 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 47
Wally, this is so romantic what you're doing.
#47 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 48
I know I give you a hard time,
#48 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 49
ALAN: Oh! Oh!
#49 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17 (S09E17) - 50
PILOT (over PA): Okay, folks,
#50