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Two and a Half Men

S2 E3
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Ended
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CBS
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Season 2  "A Bag Full of Jawea"  2x3

Aired 20 years ago - Oct 04, 2004

Charlie tries to save Jake from school suspension for giving his teacher (Missi Pyle) the finger by romancing her, but his several attempts fail every time.

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Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 1
...but Jake has something he wants to say.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 2
I'm not used to being around children and, well, I am really sorry.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 3
Jake, go to the vending machine...
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 4
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 5
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 6
Cool. Like the Itchy Eye.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 7
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 8
Lucky? Sure, why not. Let's call it luck.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 9
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 10
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 11
And it's getting weirder.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 12
Listen, buddy, Miss Pasternak and I are kind of having a sleepover.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 13
This is more wrong than the time I saw Santa peeing at the mall.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 14
- Come on, buddy. Get some sleep. - Oh, yeah. Like I'm gonna sleep now.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 15
...and that he keeps this to himself. - Thank you, Charlie.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 16
- Charlie? - Yes, Miss Pasternak.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 17
How much more?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 18
Oh, Charlie. Come on.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 19
No kidding. What stupid thing did you do you're trying to make up for?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 20
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 21
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 22
No, it says it on the can.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 23
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 24
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 25
So how did Jake take it? Did he freak out?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 26
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 27
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 28
You sure? Because I'm just empty calories.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 29
Dolores, you're a terrific woman and I've enjoyed being with you very much...
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 30
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 31
Charlie, that's the past.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 32
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 33
...I prayed for forgiveness and I was told not to worry about it.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 34
What matters is the same hand that delivered me...
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 35
- All right. - All right, what?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 36
... and talk more about this path we are on and where it's heading.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 37
Boy, it's weird being on the other side of one of these calls.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 38
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 39
...but I realize now that breakups may be outside your area of expertise.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 40
- I'm just about to break up with her. - Oh, no, don't, don't.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 41
"Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation in pen."
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 42
You broke into my house and left it on my pillow.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 43
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 44
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 45
After he's accepted he can learn that Sacajawea...
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 46
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 47
All the kids were so well-behaved. Even Jake.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 48
I hadn't really decided.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 49
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 50
Nothing. Forget it. Let's just have a nice evening.

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 2
I'm not used to being around children and, well, I am really sorry.
#2 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 3
Jake, go to the vending machine...
#3 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 4 #4 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 5 #5 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 6
Cool. Like the Itchy Eye.
#6 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 7 #7 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 8
Lucky? Sure, why not. Let's call it luck.
#8 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 9 #9 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 10 #10 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 11
And it's getting weirder.
#11 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 12
Listen, buddy, Miss Pasternak and I are kind of having a sleepover.
#12 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 13
This is more wrong than the time I saw Santa peeing at the mall.
#13 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 14
- Come on, buddy. Get some sleep. - Oh, yeah. Like I'm gonna sleep now.
#14 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 15
...and that he keeps this to himself. - Thank you, Charlie.
#15 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 16
- Charlie? - Yes, Miss Pasternak.
#16 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 17
How much more?
#17 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 18
Oh, Charlie. Come on.
#18 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 19
No kidding. What stupid thing did you do you're trying to make up for?
#19 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 20 #20 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 21 #21 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 22
No, it says it on the can.
#22 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 23 #23 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 24 #24 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 25
So how did Jake take it? Did he freak out?
#25 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 26 #26 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 27 #27 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 28
You sure? Because I'm just empty calories.
#28 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 29
Dolores, you're a terrific woman and I've enjoyed being with you very much...
#29 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 30 #30 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 31
Charlie, that's the past.
#31 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 32 #32 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 33
...I prayed for forgiveness and I was told not to worry about it.
#33 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 34
What matters is the same hand that delivered me...
#34 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 35
- All right. - All right, what?
#35 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 36
... and talk more about this path we are on and where it's heading.
#36 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 37
Boy, it's weird being on the other side of one of these calls.
#37 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 38 #38 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 39
...but I realize now that breakups may be outside your area of expertise.
#39 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 40
- I'm just about to break up with her. - Oh, no, don't, don't.
#40 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 41
"Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation in pen."
#41 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 42
You broke into my house and left it on my pillow.
#42 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 43 #43 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 44 #44 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 45
After he's accepted he can learn that Sacajawea...
#45 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 46 #46 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 47
All the kids were so well-behaved. Even Jake.
#47 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 48
I hadn't really decided.
#48 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 49 #49 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 50
Nothing. Forget it. Let's just have a nice evening.
#50