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M*A*S*H

S3 E7
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Ended
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CBS
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Season 3  "Check-Up"  3x7

Aired 51 years ago - Oct 22, 1974

Trapper gets an ulcer and a ticket home. Unfortunately, his going-away party is spoiled by a new Army regulation, which forces him to stay.

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Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 1
- Send them in. - Step behind the screen and drop your pants.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 2
serving your Uncle Sam and entitled to dignity.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 3
Further, they can do nothing, nothing, when you are alone with them...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 4
He's scheduled to do my physical. Fat chance.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 5
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 6
Does this mean my taste buds have been raped?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 7
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 8
Oh, yes, the physical.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 9
- Ah. Ah. - Ah.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 10
All right. Stand with your little feet together.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 11
I know how to breathe hard, Doctor.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 12
- You're also getting a little flanky. - You're crazy.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 13
Bare naked, sir?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 14
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 15
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 16
Oh, I washed my hands first, sir.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 17
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 18
Well, not everybody is Major Houlihan, Frank.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 19
The ink is still wet where you touched it up.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 20
Refusing a checkup? It doesn't make sense. It's basic.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 21
but I don't want it diagnosed here because I don't want to be treated in this pigpen.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 22
I've got heartburn that would light up the city ofToledo.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 23
You've got a million-dollar hole in your belly.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 24
Before you know it, you'll be home sleeping on the couch...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 25
Good boy. Radar.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 26
- Daddy's home. - I bet they've grown.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 27
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 28
No, Frank. What does it mean?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 29
- Why so irritable, princess? - I'm not irritable, Frank.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 30
of fat.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 31
You're all nice and round and mushy and soft.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 32
I don't think I can sleep on clean sheets anymore.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 33
Sirs, you're looking at a dying man.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 34
- Bye, Klinger. - "Bye, Klinger."
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 35
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 36
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 37
Well, not really shorthand, sir.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 38
No, it's a message from H.Q.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 39
No.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 40
Look, Radar, don't say anything about this to anybody, okay? I'll take care of it.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 41
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 42
I don't go out with married men, Colonel.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 43
Well, we knew he'd leave us one day.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 44
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 45
You "aminal."
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 46
- Frank. We're having a little entertainment later. - Mm-hmm. Oh, good.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 47
And every time you look when I'm looking, I watch something else...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 48
Yo.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 49
good companion.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 50

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 2
serving your Uncle Sam and entitled to dignity.
#2 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 3
Further, they can do nothing, nothing, when you are alone with them...
#3 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 4
He's scheduled to do my physical. Fat chance.
#4 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 5 #5 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 6
Does this mean my taste buds have been raped?
#6 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 7 #7 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 8
Oh, yes, the physical.
#8 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 9
- Ah. Ah. - Ah.
#9 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 10
All right. Stand with your little feet together.
#10 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 11
I know how to breathe hard, Doctor.
#11 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 12
- You're also getting a little flanky. - You're crazy.
#12 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 13
Bare naked, sir?
#13 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 14 #14 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 15 #15 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 16
Oh, I washed my hands first, sir.
#16 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 17 #17 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 18
Well, not everybody is Major Houlihan, Frank.
#18 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 19
The ink is still wet where you touched it up.
#19 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 20
Refusing a checkup? It doesn't make sense. It's basic.
#20 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 21
but I don't want it diagnosed here because I don't want to be treated in this pigpen.
#21 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 22
I've got heartburn that would light up the city ofToledo.
#22 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 23
You've got a million-dollar hole in your belly.
#23 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 24
Before you know it, you'll be home sleeping on the couch...
#24 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 25
Good boy. Radar.
#25 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 26
- Daddy's home. - I bet they've grown.
#26 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 27 #27 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 28
No, Frank. What does it mean?
#28 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 29
- Why so irritable, princess? - I'm not irritable, Frank.
#29 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 30
of fat.
#30 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 31
You're all nice and round and mushy and soft.
#31 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 32
I don't think I can sleep on clean sheets anymore.
#32 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 33
Sirs, you're looking at a dying man.
#33 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 34
- Bye, Klinger. - "Bye, Klinger."
#34 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 35 #35 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 36 #36 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 37
Well, not really shorthand, sir.
#37 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 38
No, it's a message from H.Q.
#38 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 39
No.
#39 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 40
Look, Radar, don't say anything about this to anybody, okay? I'll take care of it.
#40 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 41 #41 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 42
I don't go out with married men, Colonel.
#42 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 43
Well, we knew he'd leave us one day.
#43 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 44 #44 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 45
You "aminal."
#45 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 46
- Frank. We're having a little entertainment later. - Mm-hmm. Oh, good.
#46 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 47
And every time you look when I'm looking, I watch something else...
#47 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 48
Yo.
#48 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 49
good companion.
#49 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 50 #50