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M*A*S*H

S3 E12
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Ended
Network
CBS
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Season 3  "A Full Rich Day"  3x12

Aired 50 years ago - Dec 03, 1974

Hawkeye records a letter to his dad, detailing the exploits of a mad Turkish soldier who calls Hawkeye a "damn good Joe," the unfortunate loss of the corpse of a Luxembourg soldier (who turns out not to be dead), Lt. Henri-Batiste LeClerc, and of a gun-happy officer.

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Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 1
- What about him? - Leave him. He can wait.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 2
[Shouting In Foreign Language]
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 3
- [Shouts] - Right.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 4
- I'm sorry, Major. - What happened to saluting, Corporal?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 5
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 6
I'd appreciate some help right now.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 7
Now.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 8
Just stay right here and keep an eye on this man.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 9
Only surgical personnel can go in there, sir.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 10
I tell you, he threatened me with a gun!
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 11
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 12
And he's gonna get top priority, right?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 13
Meanwhile, your friend will be looked at by Colonel Blake and Major Chicken Lover.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 14
Oh, good for you. The country's littered with butts as it is.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 15
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 16
the war's not some big geopolitical conflict between nations and ideologies.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 17
We're up to our bottoms in other people's bottoms here.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 18
Yeah. I sure can see what you mean.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 19
We wouldn't want his credit card to go off.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 20
Oh, for Pete's sake.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 21
- Why don't we all go to Berlitz and find out? - He's your patient! Get him!
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 22
- Mayday! - 99, 98...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 23
All of us: The kids, the dog...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 24
[Radar] Right in here, sir.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 25
One of my men, Lt. Henri Batiste LeClerq...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 26
Oh? Oh, I'm sorry.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 27
that I recover the body for appropriate military honors.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 28
I will not leave here without him.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 29
suggesting the war be declared a draw.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 30
Uh, five parts gin and one moment's silence for the vermouth.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 31
Okay. Clamp.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 32
- How can you tell? - I'll get your bag.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 33
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 34
Well, they're certainly gonna get my Christmas card business.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 35
Whatever it is, I love it.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 36
I think he just wants to get back to his outfit so he can kill more Chinese.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 37
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 38
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 39
- [Smith] What did he do? - Nothing! Mm!
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 40
Boy, you guys at the front... You think you own the war.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 41
Yeah, Klinger: Mine.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 42
And you jeep him out of camp, but you won't get more than half a mile...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 43
- Frank, would you do me a favor? - Sure.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 44
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 45
maybe we could perform a brief ceremony honoring his loss.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 46
So you can knock off the heroics and drop the fowling piece.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 47
Corpsman!
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 48
Lost but not least...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 49
##[Piano Continues]
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 50

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 2
[Shouting In Foreign Language]
#2 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 3
- [Shouts] - Right.
#3 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 4
- I'm sorry, Major. - What happened to saluting, Corporal?
#4 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 5 #5 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 6
I'd appreciate some help right now.
#6 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 7
Now.
#7 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 8
Just stay right here and keep an eye on this man.
#8 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 9
Only surgical personnel can go in there, sir.
#9 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 10
I tell you, he threatened me with a gun!
#10 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 11 #11 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 12
And he's gonna get top priority, right?
#12 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 13
Meanwhile, your friend will be looked at by Colonel Blake and Major Chicken Lover.
#13 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 14
Oh, good for you. The country's littered with butts as it is.
#14 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 15 #15 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 16
the war's not some big geopolitical conflict between nations and ideologies.
#16 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 17
We're up to our bottoms in other people's bottoms here.
#17 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 18
Yeah. I sure can see what you mean.
#18 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 19
We wouldn't want his credit card to go off.
#19 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 20
Oh, for Pete's sake.
#20 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 21
- Why don't we all go to Berlitz and find out? - He's your patient! Get him!
#21 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 22
- Mayday! - 99, 98...
#22 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 23
All of us: The kids, the dog...
#23 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 24
[Radar] Right in here, sir.
#24 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 25
One of my men, Lt. Henri Batiste LeClerq...
#25 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 26
Oh? Oh, I'm sorry.
#26 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 27
that I recover the body for appropriate military honors.
#27 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 28
I will not leave here without him.
#28 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 29
suggesting the war be declared a draw.
#29 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 30
Uh, five parts gin and one moment's silence for the vermouth.
#30 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 31
Okay. Clamp.
#31 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 32
- How can you tell? - I'll get your bag.
#32 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 33 #33 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 34
Well, they're certainly gonna get my Christmas card business.
#34 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 35
Whatever it is, I love it.
#35 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 36
I think he just wants to get back to his outfit so he can kill more Chinese.
#36 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 37 #37 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 38 #38 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 39
- [Smith] What did he do? - Nothing! Mm!
#39 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 40
Boy, you guys at the front... You think you own the war.
#40 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 41
Yeah, Klinger: Mine.
#41 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 42
And you jeep him out of camp, but you won't get more than half a mile...
#42 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 43
- Frank, would you do me a favor? - Sure.
#43 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 44 #44 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 45
maybe we could perform a brief ceremony honoring his loss.
#45 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 46
So you can knock off the heroics and drop the fowling piece.
#46 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 47
Corpsman!
#47 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 48
Lost but not least...
#48 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 49
##[Piano Continues]
#49 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 50 #50