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M*A*S*H

S3 E10
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Ended
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CBS
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Season 3  "There is Nothing Like a Nurse"  3x10

Aired 50 years ago - Nov 19, 1974

The nurses are evacuated when the threat of an enemy parachute drop arises. Hawkeye and Trapper try to enliven everyone's spirits whilst they are gone. Hawkeye: "The plot thins. Watch the cake sue for malpractice when Frank cuts into it."

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Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 1
I'm not finking, Major. I'm not gonna have you chain some poor little nurse to her cot...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 2
Speaking man-to-man, Colonel, I realize the war unhinges us all.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 3
- #And it won't be long # - #And it won't be long #
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 4
Hey, Calvin, Trap.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 5
- Believe me, we're unhappier. - Because we're taller.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 6
Hup, two, three, four. Hup, two, three, four.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 7
Detail dig! Two, three, four!
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 8
One hour till the nurses go.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 9
- What do you want? - Major Burns says he'll be detained a little late.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 10
- No. She's 37. - Don't slam the door.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 11
- What thing? - My tongue.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 12
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 13
Oh, Margaret! To think I won't have this neck to nuzzle...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 14
When we've spent all this time being so embodied.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 15
There's six months' haircuts in there.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 16
If anything should happen... if we never see each other again...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 17
- Captain. - Major.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 18
Major.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 19
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 20
a very dry martini.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 21
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 22
He says he's gonna stay that way until the nurses come back.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 23
or I'll give you a nose job from the inside.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 24
- Give me a beer, Mr. Kwak. - If they come back.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 25
- ## [Strumming Melody] - Dry, Mr. Kwak.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 26
# Now, wouldn't that be funny #
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 27
# Their sight, their smell their sound #
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 28
#Now, wouldn't that be funny #
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 29
Oh. Yeah, okay. I got it. Right.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 30
I think mine have started already, sir.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 31
All available personnel will report to the O.R. To help with nursing chores.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 32
- [Henry Scolds, Indistinct] - Just look this way, Father, where the blood is.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 33
- My kingdom for a nurse. - I'm doing my best.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 34
- Thataboy. - Three-O silk on a cutting needle, Mr. Kwang.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 35
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 36
Sorry, Margaret.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 37
You're bigger than they are, Frank. We both know that.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 38
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 39
I've gotta go now, darling. I love you.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 40
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 41
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 42
If this belongs to Frank, you can be sure it's not a girlie movie.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 43
- [Trapper] Don't stand in the light. - [Hawkeye] You heartbreaker.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 44
Come on. Get out of the way.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 45
- [Trapper] Would you look at that smile? - [Hawkeye] That can be cured.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 46
- [Hawkeye] This is the happiest day of her life. - [Trapper Laughs]
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 47
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 48
[Hawkeye] That's the bride. Oh, good. Lovely.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 49
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 50
[Imitating Stuttering] Be-dee, be-dee... That's all, folks.

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 2
Speaking man-to-man, Colonel, I realize the war unhinges us all.
#2 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 3
- #And it won't be long # - #And it won't be long #
#3 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 4
Hey, Calvin, Trap.
#4 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 5
- Believe me, we're unhappier. - Because we're taller.
#5 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 6
Hup, two, three, four. Hup, two, three, four.
#6 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 7
Detail dig! Two, three, four!
#7 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 8
One hour till the nurses go.
#8 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 9
- What do you want? - Major Burns says he'll be detained a little late.
#9 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 10
- No. She's 37. - Don't slam the door.
#10 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 11
- What thing? - My tongue.
#11 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 12 #12 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 13
Oh, Margaret! To think I won't have this neck to nuzzle...
#13 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 14
When we've spent all this time being so embodied.
#14 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 15
There's six months' haircuts in there.
#15 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 16
If anything should happen... if we never see each other again...
#16 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 17
- Captain. - Major.
#17 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 18
Major.
#18 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 19 #19 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 20
a very dry martini.
#20 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 21 #21 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 22
He says he's gonna stay that way until the nurses come back.
#22 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 23
or I'll give you a nose job from the inside.
#23 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 24
- Give me a beer, Mr. Kwak. - If they come back.
#24 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 25
- ## [Strumming Melody] - Dry, Mr. Kwak.
#25 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 26
# Now, wouldn't that be funny #
#26 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 27
# Their sight, their smell their sound #
#27 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 28
#Now, wouldn't that be funny #
#28 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 29
Oh. Yeah, okay. I got it. Right.
#29 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 30
I think mine have started already, sir.
#30 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 31
All available personnel will report to the O.R. To help with nursing chores.
#31 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 32
- [Henry Scolds, Indistinct] - Just look this way, Father, where the blood is.
#32 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 33
- My kingdom for a nurse. - I'm doing my best.
#33 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 34
- Thataboy. - Three-O silk on a cutting needle, Mr. Kwang.
#34 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 35 #35 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 36
Sorry, Margaret.
#36 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 37
You're bigger than they are, Frank. We both know that.
#37 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 38 #38 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 39
I've gotta go now, darling. I love you.
#39 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 40 #40 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 41 #41 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 42
If this belongs to Frank, you can be sure it's not a girlie movie.
#42 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 43
- [Trapper] Don't stand in the light. - [Hawkeye] You heartbreaker.
#43 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 44
Come on. Get out of the way.
#44 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 45
- [Trapper] Would you look at that smile? - [Hawkeye] That can be cured.
#45 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 46
- [Hawkeye] This is the happiest day of her life. - [Trapper Laughs]
#46 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 47 #47 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 48
[Hawkeye] That's the bride. Oh, good. Lovely.
#48 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 49 #49 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 50
[Imitating Stuttering] Be-dee, be-dee... That's all, folks.
#50