S3 E5
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Sundays 9:30 PM on FOX
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Season 3  "And the Wiener is..."  3x5

Aired 18 years ago - Aug 08, 2001

Peter feels jealous when he finds out Chris has a larger penis than he does, so he tries various tactics like buying a new car and joining a gun club. He then takes Chris on a father-son hunting trip only for Chris to eventually save the day. Meanwhile, Meg finds herself to be a target of abuse from the cool kids at school when she joins the flag girl squad.

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Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 1
Then everything got hazy. Kevin went to live with a foster family for a while...
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 2
- It sure does... - Get the hell off me!
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 3
- Oh. Like a happy special... - You're going to die.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 4
We perform at all the football games. I'm practically a cheerleader!
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 5
Now you can be somewhere else when the boys don't call.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 6
Lois, go get the medical dictionary and look up "fork" and "lung. "
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 7
Really? Not even if I smoke this corncob pipe?
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 8
and I'm all "I'm a flag girl now, I won't forget my lunch",
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 9
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 10
- Shut up. - The dog just told me to shut up.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 11
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 12
- They've held hands all night. - I mean Meg.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 13
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 14
No foul?! Oh, that's a stupid call! And I know something about stupid calls.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 15
Score's tied, next basket wins. You might finally beat your old man.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 16
Son, you played good, but your dad is still number one.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 17
- What's wrong, honey? - I'll tell you:
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 18
Oh, my. No wonder he's always slouching.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 19
They won't. I'm never going back to that school again.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 20
- Chris, drink your milk. It'll make you big. - No! No more milk for him.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 21
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 22
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 23
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 24
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 25
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 26
I just wish I'd known ahead of time. I would've brought potato salad!
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 27
- Wow, thanks! - See ya.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 28
Why, you smug little bastard!
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 29
Sure, all the sorority girls are clamouring for the plantain section. Stop with this!
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 30
Nice, huh? Huh? Yeah. You like this?
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 31
- Enjoy your new car, Mr Griffin. - Thanks, Jim.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 32
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 33
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 34
Yes. Now that they think you're their friend, it's the perfect time to exact your revenge.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 35
But keep talking. All this stuff about eye-gouging has gotten me all frisky.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 36
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 37
You see, Peter, the way we look at it, a man's only as big as the gun he carries.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 38
- Madonna or Janet Jackson? - Which Janet?
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 39
Don't be stupid. I don't need to compete with my son or his freakishly large penis.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 40
- Can I have those blueprints? - Sure, here you go.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 41
Some guys from the club are going hunting tomorrow.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 42
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 43
But wait a minute. I thought guns were bad.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 44
See, Lois? They're responsible.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 45
I was starting to think you didn't like me any more.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 46
Such grace. That's the thing about hunting - you gotta be patient.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 47
- They're my friends now. - They pelted you with meat.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 48
Have fun.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 49
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 50
I like where this is going. Giggidy-giggidy-good-goody.

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 2
- It sure does... - Get the hell off me!
#2
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 3
- Oh. Like a happy special... - You're going to die.
#3
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 4
We perform at all the football games. I'm practically a cheerleader!
#4
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 5
Now you can be somewhere else when the boys don't call.
#5
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 6
Lois, go get the medical dictionary and look up "fork" and "lung. "
#6
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 7
Really? Not even if I smoke this corncob pipe?
#7
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 8
and I'm all "I'm a flag girl now, I won't forget my lunch",
#8
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 9 #9 Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 10
- Shut up. - The dog just told me to shut up.
#10
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 11 #11 Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 12
- They've held hands all night. - I mean Meg.
#12
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 13 #13 Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 14
No foul?! Oh, that's a stupid call! And I know something about stupid calls.
#14
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 15
Score's tied, next basket wins. You might finally beat your old man.
#15
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 16
Son, you played good, but your dad is still number one.
#16
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 17
- What's wrong, honey? - I'll tell you:
#17
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 18
Oh, my. No wonder he's always slouching.
#18
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 19
They won't. I'm never going back to that school again.
#19
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 20
- Chris, drink your milk. It'll make you big. - No! No more milk for him.
#20
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 21 #21 Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 22 #22 Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 23 #23 Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 24 #24 Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 25 #25 Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 26
I just wish I'd known ahead of time. I would've brought potato salad!
#26
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 27
- Wow, thanks! - See ya.
#27
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 28
Why, you smug little bastard!
#28
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 29
Sure, all the sorority girls are clamouring for the plantain section. Stop with this!
#29
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 30
Nice, huh? Huh? Yeah. You like this?
#30
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 31
- Enjoy your new car, Mr Griffin. - Thanks, Jim.
#31
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 32 #32 Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 33 #33 Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 34
Yes. Now that they think you're their friend, it's the perfect time to exact your revenge.
#34
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 35
But keep talking. All this stuff about eye-gouging has gotten me all frisky.
#35
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 36 #36 Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 37
You see, Peter, the way we look at it, a man's only as big as the gun he carries.
#37
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 38
- Madonna or Janet Jackson? - Which Janet?
#38
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 39
Don't be stupid. I don't need to compete with my son or his freakishly large penis.
#39
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 40
- Can I have those blueprints? - Sure, here you go.
#40
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 41
Some guys from the club are going hunting tomorrow.
#41
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 42 #42 Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 43
But wait a minute. I thought guns were bad.
#43
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 44
See, Lois? They're responsible.
#44
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 45
I was starting to think you didn't like me any more.
#45
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 46
Such grace. That's the thing about hunting - you gotta be patient.
#46
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 47
- They're my friends now. - They pelted you with meat.
#47
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 48
Have fun.
#48
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 49 #49 Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 50
I like where this is going. Giggidy-giggidy-good-goody.
#50