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Season 3  "One if by Clam, Two if by Sea"  3x4

Aired 18 years ago - Aug 01, 2001

When a hurricane strikes Quohog, everything is destroyed including The Drunken Clam, which is bought out by a Brit who turns it into an English pub. As it happens, pub owner Nigel Pinchley and his family move in next door to the Griffins, and Stewie tries to teach Nigel's Cockney-accented 3-year-old daughter how to speak proper English.

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Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 1
Yeah, like my dead-rat marionette theatre.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 2
Peter, look. The Clam.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 3
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 4
Evening, gents. How about a nice warm lager?
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 5
The new bowler has a cover point, long-on, square leg, extra cover and two short legs.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 6
- Anybody get that? - The only British idiom I know
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 7
- I think we should go. - Yes. This is a dark and evil place.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 8
- Peter! - Hello. Nigel Pinchley here.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 9
- Bit of an awkward moment, really. - Awkward moment?
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 10
You don't even know who I am.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 11
You wanna flower, little baby?
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 12
I know The Drunken Clam was your bar,
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 13
- All right. This place isn't bad. - Yeah. Good music, real sports on the tube.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 14
Ohhh.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 15
Hope the loo is working.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 16
They took our bar, then our friendship. What's next? Apple pie, fast cars and action films?
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 17
You are the anchor that gives my spirit licence to soar.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 18
You mean that horrid girl who talks like a scullery maid?
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 19
You teach her. If you're up to it.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 20
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 21
Yeah, back off. We kicked your ass in World War II and we can do it again.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 22
We're not gonna let this stop us. I've never been defeated. Except once.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 23
Oh, my God. I haven't seen you since high school. What are you doin' these days?
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 24
Now, don't worry, these guys are trained to stay perfectly still. Check it out.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 25
- Welcome to the Quahog beer party. - I do feel a little guilty about pollutin'.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 26
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 27
Is Quahog in the grip of a serial arsonist? Police say no, but our producer says yes.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 28
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 29
This is better than COPS. You know there's a fat drunk guy in there.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 30
Good. Good.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 31
Straight to jail. Ha! Now you got burned! No bail.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 32
Oh, Lois, I'm so sorry this terrible tragedy has befallen you.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 33
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 34
Oh, my God. See that guy? That's the most vicious killer I ever put away, Steve Bellows.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 35
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 36
Now try it again. "The life of the wife is ended by the knife. "
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 37
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 38
Excuse me. Where can I find Nigel Pinchley?
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 39
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 40
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 41
I think she's got it. I think she's got it!
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 42
"In the wife, in the wife
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 43
Hello. So nice to see you.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 44
There you are, Lois. Shall I give you the grand tour and show you my... private quarters?
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 45
Oh, Nigel. Since Peter's been gone, I've been searching for someone new.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 46
More! Tell me more!
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 47
Mr Pinchley, I heard everything.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 48
Psst. You. Dogbert. Down here. Get a front-row seat for this one.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 49
Bloody 'ell! I've gone and wet meself.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 50
- Hurry, Peter. Steve'll be here in five minutes. - Oh, crap. We're dead.

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 2
Peter, look. The Clam.
#2
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 3 #3 Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 4
Evening, gents. How about a nice warm lager?
#4
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 5
The new bowler has a cover point, long-on, square leg, extra cover and two short legs.
#5
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 6
- Anybody get that? - The only British idiom I know
#6
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 7
- I think we should go. - Yes. This is a dark and evil place.
#7
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 8
- Peter! - Hello. Nigel Pinchley here.
#8
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 9
- Bit of an awkward moment, really. - Awkward moment?
#9
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 10
You don't even know who I am.
#10
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 11
You wanna flower, little baby?
#11
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 12
I know The Drunken Clam was your bar,
#12
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 13
- All right. This place isn't bad. - Yeah. Good music, real sports on the tube.
#13
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 14
Ohhh.
#14
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 15
Hope the loo is working.
#15
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 16
They took our bar, then our friendship. What's next? Apple pie, fast cars and action films?
#16
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 17
You are the anchor that gives my spirit licence to soar.
#17
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 18
You mean that horrid girl who talks like a scullery maid?
#18
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 19
You teach her. If you're up to it.
#19
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 20 #20 Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 21
Yeah, back off. We kicked your ass in World War II and we can do it again.
#21
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 22
We're not gonna let this stop us. I've never been defeated. Except once.
#22
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 23
Oh, my God. I haven't seen you since high school. What are you doin' these days?
#23
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 24
Now, don't worry, these guys are trained to stay perfectly still. Check it out.
#24
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 25
- Welcome to the Quahog beer party. - I do feel a little guilty about pollutin'.
#25
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 26 #26 Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 27
Is Quahog in the grip of a serial arsonist? Police say no, but our producer says yes.
#27
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 28 #28 Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 29
This is better than COPS. You know there's a fat drunk guy in there.
#29
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 30
Good. Good.
#30
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 31
Straight to jail. Ha! Now you got burned! No bail.
#31
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 32
Oh, Lois, I'm so sorry this terrible tragedy has befallen you.
#32
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 33 #33 Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 34
Oh, my God. See that guy? That's the most vicious killer I ever put away, Steve Bellows.
#34
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 35 #35 Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 36
Now try it again. "The life of the wife is ended by the knife. "
#36
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 37 #37 Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 38
Excuse me. Where can I find Nigel Pinchley?
#38
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 39 #39 Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 40 #40 Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 41
I think she's got it. I think she's got it!
#41
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 42
"In the wife, in the wife
#42
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 43
Hello. So nice to see you.
#43
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 44
There you are, Lois. Shall I give you the grand tour and show you my... private quarters?
#44
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 45
Oh, Nigel. Since Peter's been gone, I've been searching for someone new.
#45
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 46
More! Tell me more!
#46
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 47
Mr Pinchley, I heard everything.
#47
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 48
Psst. You. Dogbert. Down here. Get a front-row seat for this one.
#48
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 49
Bloody 'ell! I've gone and wet meself.
#49
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 50
- Hurry, Peter. Steve'll be here in five minutes. - Oh, crap. We're dead.
#50