Status
Continuing
Next episode
2 years ago
Airs
Sundays 9:30 PM on FOX
SEASON
EPISODE

Season 8

Aired 13 years ago - Jun 20, 2010

Lois agrees to become a surrogate mother but the couple of the child she's carrying dies and she's forced to make a decision whether or not to terminate the pregnancy. Fox refused to air this episode.

Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 21 (S08E21) - 1
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Dale! All right, I guess, but I'm doing you last.
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Hey everybody.
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Yeah, let's put it on ice.
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I am so sorry about this.
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We're running out of time.
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We've conceived many times, but for some reason the eggs won't attach.
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but you're my best friend and I'd like to think that you do the same for me.
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Peter, it's nobody's faults. Conception is complicated.
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Okay, read the third row down, please.
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That's right. And I want your blessing, Peter.
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but it's a wonderful gift to be able to give someone,
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just to hand over that thing when it comes out like a hen to a farmer.
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But really, Meg, you don't know anything about this stuff.
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All right then, it's settled. I'm gonna do this.
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Dad, what's that? I think I hear music.
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You're making us so happy.
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And if I'm gonna do something about it, it's gonna be now.
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Ozone, Turbo, do your thing.
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but I am pregnant, and I am having this baby.
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And besides, it's just nine months, then everything will be back to normal.
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Lucky Quahog resident Dale Robinson has hit the jack... Oh boy.
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You know, Lois, you're not a young woman.
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Well, I don't know, Peter.
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that doesn't involve me being bent over in excruciating pain three feet from a toilet?
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You strap it down and then go hacking that like Sweeney Todd?
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You know, one of them little rat hunting dogs.
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We do it all the time and I promise it's virtually risks-free.
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(Abortion Madness!)
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(Mom, don't kill me! I wuv you!)
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Because even though they are not visible yet, you already have tiny arms.
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who were probably snuffed out by abortion.
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No! No, I do not!
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Oh, I am! Prouder than when I was a peacock.
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Peter, it's not a baby, it's a fertilized egg.
Aired 13 years ago - May 23, 2010

Peter makes good on another power outage at home--by entertaining his family with a retelling of Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back. Newcomers to the story include Mort as Lando Calrissian, Chris' boss Carl as Yoda, and the Giant Chicken as the nefarious Boba Fett.

Aired 13 years ago - May 16, 2010

Peter, Joe, and Quagmire search for the source of a dirty joke.

Aired 13 years ago - May 09, 2010

Quagmire can accept his dad's lifestyle choices, but not when they involve Brian.

Aired 13 years ago - May 02, 2010

In the 150th episode, Brian & Stewie get locked in a bank vault, they are forced to deal with each other on a whole new level. Unlike any other FAMILY GUY episode, the acts will play out in real time as Brian and Stewie react to being locked in a small space with no baby food or martinis to keep them from losing their minds while they hatch an escape plan. MORE -LESS

Aired 13 years ago - Apr 11, 2010

When the local news announces that the Earth will be destroyed by a black hole in 24 hours, everyone in Quahog goes nuts trying to live out their last day.

Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 16 (S08E16) - 1
What the hell is fecal matter?
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Just like I got kicked out of Coldplay.
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First off, do any of you have any prejudices
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Moving around all single file and stupid.
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♪ A well-a-bird-bird-bird ♪
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Exhibit A, one bloody Slinky.
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All right, everyone, we're going to take a ten-minute recess.
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not to make up our minds beforehand?
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Oh, I'm sorry, did I punch you too hard?
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Off to another day of jury duty, sweetie?
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at the edge of our solar system appears to be expanding.
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Well, it sure looks that way, sweetie.
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is gonna be just fine.
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I just wanted to say no hard feelings, huh?
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"Well, you're just full of surprises, aren't you?
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I've never had sex!
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You're a good man, Joe Swanson.
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called Tom's Crank Calls.
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Look, since these are our final hours,
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Hey, Brian, what do you think is gonna happ...
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This is Montecore. He's my lion.
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We should be spending these final hours
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We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arms.
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not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay.
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Stay with us as the countdown to Doomsday continues
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with some highlights of mankind's brief existence,
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Mom, where's Dad?!
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You promise?
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You gotta be kiddin' me!
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the whole black hole story as part of our commitment
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Yeah, Dad, what did you mean?
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Well, I'm off to serve food at the soup kitchen.
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or get kidnapped and be made to work
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Let us go find das vaginya.
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Um, Chandler...
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Oh, no, does it stink 'cause I farted?
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Oh, look who's startin' to get it.
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and make their interests your interests.
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Hey, buddy.
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Turns out we weren't even related.
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Ah... That feels... that feels better.
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So you gonna introduce me to your pals?
Aired 13 years ago - Mar 28, 2010

Lois encourages Brian to submit his pilot script to a network. James Woods gets involved and things don't exactly go according to Brian's original plan. Meanwhile, Stewie has a bit of a mishap.

Aired 14 years ago - Mar 21, 2010

After Peter has some luck selling footage of a celebrity he caught off-guard, he decides to become a full-time paparazzo. To make matters worse, his new boss, Angela, finds him irresistible and plagues him with unwanted advances. When Peter rebuffs her, he winds up getting the ax. Meanwhile, Stewie makes his theatrical debut in a school play, only to be overcome with stage fright. MORE -LESS

Aired 14 years ago - Mar 14, 2010

Stewie cross-dresses in order to star in the American version of Jolly Farm Revue. Meanwhile, Peter makes Lois feel bad about her age.

Aired 14 years ago - Feb 14, 2010

When Chris and Stewie go missing for several days, Lois is at her wit's end until she sees a psychic who assures her they are safe. Even after the boys return home, Lois and Peter's psychic obsession continues, and Peter takes it a step too far when he starts charging neighbors for his extrasensory perception. Meanwhile, Chris develops a crush on a girl at school. MORE -LESS

Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 12 (S08E12) - 1
I think people have forgotten my last embarrassment.
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I'm digging a hole.
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Still no sign of Chris and Stewie Griffin.
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bring back those dead bodies.
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Daddy, that's not a real person.
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I can't tell you how reassuring that is.
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Well, Stewie, I think we're finished.
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You're that missing baby and boy.
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It's just like the psychic said.
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Happy Gerbitz Day.
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I always wondered about psychics,
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I think that just might have been cocky forest talk.
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That's the way the state of Rhode Island would put it.
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Um, hi, Ellen.
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Oh, yeah? What?
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If that was me...
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Oh, my God, Brian.
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Wow, and she does all this for free?
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I want to get there, but I want to get there alive!
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I mean, I want to impress her, but what if I mess things up?
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♪ And though her pretty face may seem ♪
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♪ Busting out a mile with style, ♪
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♪ On any normal day you reek ♪
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♪ and you'll see that she will find you so compellin'. ♪
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♪ you must impress that effervescing ♪
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♪ And her smile is like the sweetest summer flower. ♪
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♪ and they go on for an hour. ♪
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♪ My boy, between the two of us, ♪
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♪ kitty cat impersonating, ♪
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Okay, Brian, I'm here.
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and I'm getting a strong feeling from you.
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My husband died of cancer last year.
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All right, look, can we just go home now?
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All right, Quagmire, clear your mi...
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Now, get up, come over here,
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who's passed on to the other side
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is contacting me right now, and she wants to know
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to lead us to him before the bomb goes off.
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- Mr. Sulu, set a course for... - One moment, Captain.
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You can all suck it!
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Aired 14 years ago - Jan 31, 2010

Brian gets a gig writing for a teen magazine about the average American girl, but when he starts trailing Meg for research he discovers that her desperate attempts at dating have led her to a guy in the slammer. When Brian tries to expose Meg’s secret to the family, he finds out that her boyfriend, Luke, has broken out of jail and has been hiding in the Griffin’s house. MORE -LESS

Aired 14 years ago - Jan 03, 2010

When Peter hits his head and suffers amnesia after getting in a fight with Richard Dawson on Family Feud, he forgets everything about his life, including his family and friends. In an attempt to try to bring back his memory, Lois decides to reintroduce Peter to his old self, until he begins to hit on other women, much to Lois's dismay. She decides to take the kids and leave Peter, giving Quagmire the opportunity to score with Lois. Peter now must prove to Lois he can remember her and make himself worthy of her again. MORE -LESS

Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 10 (S08E10) - 1
Oh, this must be your lovely wife.
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Okay, Lois, name something you find in your bathroom.
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here's your chance to win the game!
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and then in real life, in the episode "The Inner Light"
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Okay, Lois. 15 seconds on the clock.
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All right, "Something you sit in."
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I just wanted to make sure the meeting is still on for 2:30 tomorrow.
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Name something you sit in.
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Oh, I'm sorry. Your time is up,
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Peter! Oh, my God, are you all right?
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Mrs. Griffin, I'm afraid your husband has amnesia.
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These are your children.
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This is Meg, your daughter.
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I'm supposed to say "ow!"
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Oh, my God, we gotta watch this.
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Everyone seems to love this. We gotta watch it!
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I think you've had enough, Peter.
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Do you like her?
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♪ A well, a bird, bird, bird, ♪
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- Who's this? - Who's this?
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Now, Peter, this is your silverware.
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and tell us what Lois' nipples look like,
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It just means you're excited.
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♪ It feels like the first time. ♪
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especially after last night.
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I was just making a joke.
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Go on! Get out! Out! Out! Out!
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She's the woman I'm gonna have sex with tonight.
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Because we love each other.
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I'm leaving, and I'm taking the kids with me.
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Well, I'm sorry, honey, but we don't have a choice.
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Gonna be okay.
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Peter, what the hell is all this?
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Peter, you left your family for this?
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No? Okay.
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♪ Gi-gi, gi-gi, gi-gi, giggity! ♪
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but, uh, Peter and I aren't together anymore.
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Holy smokes, this is a sure thing.
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Hey, when you're over there, can you get some rodent traps?
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Oh, that was a delicious dinner, Glenn.
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I don't know how a half a glass of wine got me so lightheaded.
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Hi, Peter.
Aired 14 years ago - Dec 13, 2009

When Peter gives Lois’ father the bachelor party he never had, Mr. Pewterschmidt slips into a coma and not even Dr. House (guest voice Hugh Laurie) can bring him out of it. With her father incapacitated, Lois is given control of Pewterschmidt Industries. Peter convinces Lois to let him run the operation, but he gets power-hungry and fires the board. Mr. Pewterschmidt soon bounces back and tries to regain control of what he’s built – even though it may be more difficult than Christmas shopping for Peter MORE -LESS

Aired 14 years ago - Nov 29, 2009

When Brian accidentally kills another dog, he is surprised to see that no one cares, so he tries to convince everyone that the life of a dog should have the same value as a human one. Meanwhile, Lois hires a maid who doesn’t listen to Peter

Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 8 (S08E08) - 1
Oh. Hello, Mr. Peter.
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Just this special dinner in my honor.
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They loved the book so much,
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Ha! You got nothing going on.
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Oh, hey, this is fine. I... I like this place.
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Hey! There he is!
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Here's your award... I made it all by myself.
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Well, maybe you just didn't try hard enough, Brian.
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Muchos hornos!
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So, did you hear all that noise last night?
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and my parents ain't so good to me.
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- Out. Afuera. - I live here.
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Wha... what... You... you took it?
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And this one I call "Alive Dog Burying Dead Dog."
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How would you feel if you killed a baby?
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Is this about Meg's cervical cancer?
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I can say this in front of all of you.
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for you to arrest me and take me to jail where I belong.
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What?
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An animal killing another animal?
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Oh. Well, then I guess I worried for nothing.
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Uh, Consuela? I thought you finished cleaning hours ago.
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Can I get some covers over here?
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I just can't believe our society actually values
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waiting in the hot sun while his owner gets ice cream?
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He's got my neck!
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Meg, will you take one of these and pass it down, please?
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Oh, that's a great idea, Brian. Maybe you could join PETA.
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No, for PETA.
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That's it. Peter, we have got to get rid of her.
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Here. Here's $40 if you leave right now.
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We kill them for food, we humiliate them as pets,
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Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 8 (S08E08) - 45
Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 8 (S08E08) - 46
Well, no. Steak is made by killing cattle.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 8 (S08E08) - 47
Animals are miracles of nature, just like humans.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 8 (S08E08) - 48
You know what, you know what? This is driving me crazy.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 8 (S08E08) - 49
Nobody gives a damn about animals!
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 8 (S08E08) - 50
Don't worry, Rupert. I know how to get him out of his funk.
Aired 14 years ago - Nov 22, 2009

Peter and the guys interview potential friends to fill the vacancy left by Cleveland. Meanwhile, Brian discovers that Quagmire hates him.

Aired 14 years ago - Nov 15, 2009

Father doesn't know best when Quagmire assumes responsibility for a baby Peter finds who looks just like him. Meanwhile, Stewie clones himself.

Aired 14 years ago - Nov 08, 2009

After attending to the concert of a teen superstar, Stewie discovers a surprising secret about the singer. Meanwhile back at home, Chris tries to prove the existence of the Evil Monkey.

Aired 14 years ago - Nov 08, 2009

When Brian begins dating an older woman, the family begins to make fun of him. After Brian's new fling breaks her hip, he gets the pleasure of becoming her errand boy.

Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 1
Not gonna talk to me like that in my bar.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 2
Sir, I need another $1.25.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 3
Yes.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 4
Road House.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 5
- Road House. - Peter, for God's sakes,
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 6
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 7
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 8
I have a dinner reservation for two tonight at Dominick's,
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 9
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 10
Oh, hi. I'm Rita, her mom.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 11
Yeah, I'm afraid that's Nicole. She's 21 and gorgeous.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 12
I wouldn't... I would not... I would not use a condom on your daughter.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 13
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 14
Well, I guess that makes you one of the rare ones nowadays.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 15
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 16
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 17
Oh, she's being ironic.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 18
the best impression with girls I date.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 19
You know, Brian, the past few weeks have been great.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 20
I even got a few high profile gigs.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 21
Have a seat.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 22
We've had situations
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 23
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 24
- Should we go upstairs? - Sounds good to me.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 25
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Oh, uh, hey, Lois.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 27
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Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 29
Wonderful. I'll cook something that's not too binding.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 30
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 31
Boy, speaking of that, I don't know how many people have asked me today
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 32
Oh, you can't go yet. We haven't had dessert.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 33
How old are you?! How old are you?!
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 34
She's beautiful, she's a charming woman, and I love her!
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 35
They're right, I'm just an old fool thinking we could be together.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 36
I think you're the most wonderful woman I've ever met.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 37
Yo, Rita, you want in on this?
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 38
What?!
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 39
I don't. I'd... I'd rather you marry
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 40
Isn't there an early bird special you should be running off to?
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 41
"Oh, I'm just sorting out my pills for the week, sweetie. "
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 42
Have archaeologists ever discovered Ancient Egyptian pottery in her vagina?
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 43
- Where do you keep your toothpaste? - What are you looking for, tooth polish?
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 44
What do you say we make a little whoopee?
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 45
- What?! - Ouch!
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 46
Call the number on my bracelet!
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 47
Well, how did she break it? Did she fall?
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 48
Like that Playboy issue.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 49
Brian?! Brian?!
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 4 (S08E04) - 50
Aired 14 years ago - Oct 11, 2009

Stewie and Brian are suspicious when two guys move into Cleveland's old house, and when they find out Dan (guest voice Dan Aykroyd) and Chevy (guest voice Chevy Chase) are spies and they have dossiers of all the people in Quahog they follow them on a mission to Russia and end up in hot water.

Aired 14 years ago - Oct 04, 2009

When Lois finds a lump on her breast, she goes to the doctor to test for cancer. The tests come back benign, but the doctor looks at her family medical history and reveals some news about Lois' heritage.

Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 1
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 2
Hey Kathy, guess what?
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 3
I have an announcement to make.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 4
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 5
Just give her a chance, I think you'll like it.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 6
Mine's better, mine's better, mine's better!
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 7
What? That whore!
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 8
There you are! Oh, don't give me that look. You don't think I know where you been?
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 9
Why did you have to provoke me? Whay did you hav...
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 10
Uhh no... no... I don't think uhh ... no
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 11
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 12
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 13
Peter, stop that! We're not having sex! I just told you I have a lump!
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 14
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Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 16
When we were married, Your father made me conceal the fact
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 17
That makes you Jewish, Lois, and your children too.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 18
Woah, Jason, you're getting to be a big boy.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 19
I really need some advice from an actual Jewish person.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 20
Like Quagmire, when he thought he was the one getting the spin-off
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 21
There's no reason things should be any different around here.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 22
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and I really don't want to make a big deal out of this.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 24
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 25
as they labored under the yoke of Pharaoh's despotic rule.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 26
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 27
is getting to take advantage of their excellent schools
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 28
had heard
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 29
and puts a boot up your ass?
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 30
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 31
You know what else? I picked out a sexy little Jewish outfit for you at the store
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 32
Tell me I don't earn as much as your friend's husband!
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 33
What's going on here? Where am I? What the... huh?
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 34
What do you think you're doing, Peter?
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 35
Oh wait, dad, before you to go, can you say: "Peter, you must go to the Degobah System"?
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 36
Lois, last night my father came to me
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 37
Peter, you ready for dinner?
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 38
Well, Chris, think about what you're saying.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 39
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 40
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 41
exactly what Carter did to me for years
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 42
my Jewish identity and I regreted it ever since.
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 43
Is there really salmon over there?
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 44
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 45
Peter, for God sake! I am sorry, Mort
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 46
Let me tell you this, mom was right
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 47
He died for our sins in that helicopter crash
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 48
This is my first time doing a Seder
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 49
Hang on! Hang on! Before do anything I
Recap of Family Guy Season 8 Episode 2 (S08E02) - 50
Can't we just eat?
Aired 14 years ago - Sep 27, 2009

With the help of an out-of-this-world remote control, Stewie and Brian travel through alternate universes, including a post-apocalyptic world and a parallel world run by dogs where humans are pets.