S3 E12
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Season 3  "To Love and Die in Dixie"  3x12

Aired 17 years ago - Nov 15, 2001

Chris chooses a robber out of a lineup, but after Peter accidentally tells the robber where the family lives, the Griffins are placed in the witness protection program. They are sent to the Deep South, where Chris makes a new friend, Sam. Peter questions the truth of a Civil War reenactment that showed the South winning the war, leading to Sam's father forbidding Sam from seeing Chris. Upset, Sam runs away with Chris and kisses him on the mouth. Chris tells Sam that he doesn't like boys and doesn't like him in a physical sense. The FBI agents guarding the Griffin house in Quahog accidentally tell the robber the location of the Griffins. Sam reveals to Chris that she is not a boy, but a girl. Then the robber arrives in the South, about to kill Chris, but the towns folk stop him just in time.

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Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 1
No, thanks. I gotta get goin'.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 2
All right, then give me one of them horoscope scrolls and some Skittles.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 3
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 4
He's here to finger the guy who held up that store. Maybe you've seen him. Chris Griffin.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 5
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 6
I'd lost all control of my bodily functions.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 7
I'm at this maximum-security facility, where a ruthless thug has engineered a daring escape.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 8
You wanna remove us from the area?
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 9
The Deep South?
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 10
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 11
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 12
Somebody's in the closet!
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 13
Mom, Chris found a jar in the basement and it has a hand in it.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 14
- This place is horrible. - OK, everybody calm down.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 15
No, it definitely doesn't go anywhere.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 16
- How much you wanna take out? - 40 dollars.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 17
- What is that magical device? - Banjo.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 18
OK, now you.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 19
- Are you mad at that pond? - Shoot, no.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 20
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 21
That was great! Next time, let's get Meg to be Boss Hogg and Chris can be Anus.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 22
What's it like there? Y'all got them talkin' pictures?
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 23
Ta-da! Possum surprise.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 24
I'm glad you're having fun, but we need money. Have you thought about a job?
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 25
Where do you think you go when you die?
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 26
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 27
Doing your...
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 28
- Boy, it's so quiet around here. - I know.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 29
Brian, you're drunk. You're drunk.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 30
Ulysses S Grant, you invite me to lunch then show up an hour late, drunk?
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 31
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 32
And if you think I'm mad now, you gotta answer to them Civil War survivors.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 33
That sucks, cos I really like spending time with you.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 34
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 35
The weird thing is, kissing Sam kind of felt right.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 36
- Argh! How do I shoot? How do I shoot? - Press B button.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 37
- I didn't wanna play. - So it's good for everybody.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 38
- But I'd like it if we could still be friends. - I'd like that too. Wanna go for a swim?
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 39
Even warmer today.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 40
"A big old Buddha belly and her breasts swing past her feet
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 41
You know, the kids are gonna be at that town social for a while.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 42
Good, good. Real good.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 43
Sheriff's office. Yes, this is Peter Griffin. I'd like to report a criminal coming into town.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 44
Yeah, well, see, I kinda pissed off the whole town at that Civil War re-enactment.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 45
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 46
Well, that's the thing. I'm no good at talking to girls. That's why I ran away from you.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 47
And in the city, glasses are considered really sexy.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 48
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 49
I hated TJ Hooker. And I never actually saw McMillan and Wife, although I was aware of it.
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 50
- You folks all right? - Wow, you guys saved our lives.

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 2
All right, then give me one of them horoscope scrolls and some Skittles.
#2
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 3 #3 Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 4
He's here to finger the guy who held up that store. Maybe you've seen him. Chris Griffin.
#4
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 5 #5 Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 6
I'd lost all control of my bodily functions.
#6
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 7
I'm at this maximum-security facility, where a ruthless thug has engineered a daring escape.
#7
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 8
You wanna remove us from the area?
#8
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 9
The Deep South?
#9
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 10 #10 Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 11 #11 Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 12
Somebody's in the closet!
#12
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 13
Mom, Chris found a jar in the basement and it has a hand in it.
#13
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 14
- This place is horrible. - OK, everybody calm down.
#14
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 15
No, it definitely doesn't go anywhere.
#15
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 16
- How much you wanna take out? - 40 dollars.
#16
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 17
- What is that magical device? - Banjo.
#17
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 18
OK, now you.
#18
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 19
- Are you mad at that pond? - Shoot, no.
#19
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 20 #20 Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 21
That was great! Next time, let's get Meg to be Boss Hogg and Chris can be Anus.
#21
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 22
What's it like there? Y'all got them talkin' pictures?
#22
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 23
Ta-da! Possum surprise.
#23
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 24
I'm glad you're having fun, but we need money. Have you thought about a job?
#24
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 25
Where do you think you go when you die?
#25
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 26 #26 Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 27
Doing your...
#27
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 28
- Boy, it's so quiet around here. - I know.
#28
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 29
Brian, you're drunk. You're drunk.
#29
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 30
Ulysses S Grant, you invite me to lunch then show up an hour late, drunk?
#30
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 31 #31 Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 32
And if you think I'm mad now, you gotta answer to them Civil War survivors.
#32
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 33
That sucks, cos I really like spending time with you.
#33
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 34 #34 Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 35
The weird thing is, kissing Sam kind of felt right.
#35
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 36
- Argh! How do I shoot? How do I shoot? - Press B button.
#36
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 37
- I didn't wanna play. - So it's good for everybody.
#37
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 38
- But I'd like it if we could still be friends. - I'd like that too. Wanna go for a swim?
#38
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 39
Even warmer today.
#39
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 40
"A big old Buddha belly and her breasts swing past her feet
#40
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 41
You know, the kids are gonna be at that town social for a while.
#41
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 42
Good, good. Real good.
#42
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 43
Sheriff's office. Yes, this is Peter Griffin. I'd like to report a criminal coming into town.
#43
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 44
Yeah, well, see, I kinda pissed off the whole town at that Civil War re-enactment.
#44
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 45 #45 Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 46
Well, that's the thing. I'm no good at talking to girls. That's why I ran away from you.
#46
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 47
And in the city, glasses are considered really sexy.
#47
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 48 #48 Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 49
I hated TJ Hooker. And I never actually saw McMillan and Wife, although I was aware of it.
#49
Recap of Family Guy Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 50
- You folks all right? - Wow, you guys saved our lives.
#50