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Two and a Half Men

S7 E11
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CBS
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Season 7  "Warning, It's Dirty"  7x11

Aired 14 years ago - Dec 15, 2009

Jake is taught the art of infidelity by Charlie, whose girlfriend is away for Christmas.

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Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 1
Oh, buddy, you can't call the posters in your room girlfriends.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 2
You're 42.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 3
Listen to me, if you want to go talk to the beach girl,
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 4
She's not going to shoot you down.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 5
Clearly her standards aren't that high.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 6
Son of a bitch.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 7
♪ Men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men... ♪
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 8
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 9
Hey, you feeling lucky?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 10
It's long enough, but wide.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 11
Sorry.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 12
Double or nothing they don't make the first down.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 13
Hang on.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 14
So I should bring her here?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 15
What about Celeste?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 16
She's with her mom.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 17
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 18
No, no, but I think that once a relationship reaches any physical level,
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 19
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 20
I hope you're proud of yourself.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 21
Hey, Jake may be dull-witted, but he does have...
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 22
I didn't really talk her into it.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 23
I'm not sure.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 24
Oh, dude, you have hit the jackpot here. I have?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 25
I had to fart, and I didn't want to do it in front of her.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 26
I know. Why isn't she out stealing toys in Whoville?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 27
Marty, these are my sons,
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 28
And you, uh, Dutch.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 29
And I just couldn't let him spend Christmas Eve alone--
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 30
Alan, it's a $60-million home.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 31
Sorry.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 32
Ask me how I know.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 33
You see how he is corrupting your grandson?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 34
There she is again. What do I do?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 35
Homos with a kid.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 36
Our little boy is growing up.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 37
♪ Jingle bells swing and jingle bell ring ♪
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 38
♪ Jingle bells chime in jingle bell time ♪
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 39
♪ Jingle bell time is a swell time ♪
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 40
♪ Mix and mingle with the jinglin' feet ♪
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 41
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 42
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 43
Berta, don't you wanna spend Christmas with your family?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 44
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 45
No, Jake split.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 46
Hey, I took the high road.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 47
I want you to stop it and get your ass home.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 48
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 49
Um, I don't know.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 50
Yeah, yeah, good idea.

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 2
You're 42.
#2 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 3
Listen to me, if you want to go talk to the beach girl,
#3 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 4
She's not going to shoot you down.
#4 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 5
Clearly her standards aren't that high.
#5 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 6
Son of a bitch.
#6 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 7
♪ Men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men... ♪
#7 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 8 #8 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 9
Hey, you feeling lucky?
#9 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 10
It's long enough, but wide.
#10 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 11
Sorry.
#11 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 12
Double or nothing they don't make the first down.
#12 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 13
Hang on.
#13 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 14
So I should bring her here?
#14 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 15
What about Celeste?
#15 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 16
She's with her mom.
#16 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 17 #17 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 18
No, no, but I think that once a relationship reaches any physical level,
#18 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 19 #19 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 20
I hope you're proud of yourself.
#20 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 21
Hey, Jake may be dull-witted, but he does have...
#21 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 22
I didn't really talk her into it.
#22 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 23
I'm not sure.
#23 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 24
Oh, dude, you have hit the jackpot here. I have?
#24 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 25
I had to fart, and I didn't want to do it in front of her.
#25 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 26
I know. Why isn't she out stealing toys in Whoville?
#26 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 27
Marty, these are my sons,
#27 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 28
And you, uh, Dutch.
#28 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 29
And I just couldn't let him spend Christmas Eve alone--
#29 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 30
Alan, it's a $60-million home.
#30 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 31
Sorry.
#31 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 32
Ask me how I know.
#32 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 33
You see how he is corrupting your grandson?
#33 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 34
There she is again. What do I do?
#34 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 35
Homos with a kid.
#35 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 36
Our little boy is growing up.
#36 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 37
♪ Jingle bells swing and jingle bell ring ♪
#37 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 38
♪ Jingle bells chime in jingle bell time ♪
#38 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 39
♪ Jingle bell time is a swell time ♪
#39 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 40
♪ Mix and mingle with the jinglin' feet ♪
#40 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 41 #41 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 42 #42 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 43
Berta, don't you wanna spend Christmas with your family?
#43 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 44 #44 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 45
No, Jake split.
#45 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 46
Hey, I took the high road.
#46 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 47
I want you to stop it and get your ass home.
#47 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 48 #48 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 49
Um, I don't know.
#49 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 11 (S07E11) - 50
Yeah, yeah, good idea.
#50