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M*A*S*H

S10 E5
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Ended
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CBS
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Season 10  "Wheelers and Dealers"  10x5

Aired 42 years ago - Nov 23, 1981

On the eve of a big poker game, B.J.'s pride is bruised when he finds out his wife is working as a waitress. And Potter takes driving lessons from Klinger.

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Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 1
- [Knocking] - The colonel will see you now.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 2
is charged with reckless driving in Kimpo.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 3
you sent the violators off to a day of remedial driving school.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 4
and get Grandma Mavis really steamed?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 5
- Where indigestion meets inebriation. - Mm-hmm.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 6
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 7
- Look, it's not gonna be forever. - I'm talking about now.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 8
Next war, we'll know better. We'll sign each other's.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 9
And you will know the rules of the road so good that, when you're dead...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 10
- Attention! - At ease.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 11
Late? You? Why... Why, you're not late, sir.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 12
Well, sir, the rest of these boys don't have the power to bust me.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 13
For those of you who are not familiar with this term, say it with me.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 14
Take it easy, Charles. You're not the only one whose chips are down.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 15
not only does Uncle Sam have to pay for that bird...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 16
Good morning, sir. I hope you didn't get up on the wrong side of your chair.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 17
A man that's been around the block as much as you...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 18
How jesuitically safe. I'll see that and raise you two more bits.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 19
- "Best wishes to the lucky graduate." - Two.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 20
While you play poker, I'm gonna switch to gin.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 21
Two bucks, huh?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 22
Well, this is real interesting. I see your 20...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 23
- Good heavens. Joel McCrea never did that. - B. J.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 24
Except the dealer.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 25
Rackman... 89. Potter, sir...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 26
Twenty-six out of 30.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 27
who took a wrong turn on the written test?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 28
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 29
I'll be shuffling off to the poker game.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 30
Even "Peanut Brain" Hoffman squeaked through.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 31
How would you like the next hand to be in your face?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 32
- I think you're full of bluff. - Cost you 10 bucks to find out.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 33
- Hawk, you in? - No, I don't... I don't think so.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 34
I'm down 150 zops.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 35
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 36
I don't know what's greener, them or their uniforms.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 37
[Sighs] What?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 38
and has its lights flashing?"
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 39
"What is the minimum braking distance...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 40
- Can we stop now? We've been going at this all night. - No. Ask me another question.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 41
Captain, what are you getting so excited about?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 42
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 43
Maybe you know him... about 6'4", mustache, big chip on his shoulder.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 44
Bad news from home is no excuse to start acting like public enemy number one.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 45
Look, Beej, believe me. We-We're on your side.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 46
Certainly not you. While you're here, all of you is here.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 47
is worse than anybody else's?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 48
Well, go on. It's your turn.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 49
Ninety-eight! Hot diggety!
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 50
I take you for a ride. You look at the scenery.

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 2
is charged with reckless driving in Kimpo.
#2 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 3
you sent the violators off to a day of remedial driving school.
#3 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 4
and get Grandma Mavis really steamed?
#4 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 5
- Where indigestion meets inebriation. - Mm-hmm.
#5 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 6 #6 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 7
- Look, it's not gonna be forever. - I'm talking about now.
#7 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 8
Next war, we'll know better. We'll sign each other's.
#8 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 9
And you will know the rules of the road so good that, when you're dead...
#9 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 10
- Attention! - At ease.
#10 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 11
Late? You? Why... Why, you're not late, sir.
#11 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 12
Well, sir, the rest of these boys don't have the power to bust me.
#12 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 13
For those of you who are not familiar with this term, say it with me.
#13 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 14
Take it easy, Charles. You're not the only one whose chips are down.
#14 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 15
not only does Uncle Sam have to pay for that bird...
#15 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 16
Good morning, sir. I hope you didn't get up on the wrong side of your chair.
#16 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 17
A man that's been around the block as much as you...
#17 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 18
How jesuitically safe. I'll see that and raise you two more bits.
#18 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 19
- "Best wishes to the lucky graduate." - Two.
#19 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 20
While you play poker, I'm gonna switch to gin.
#20 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 21
Two bucks, huh?
#21 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 22
Well, this is real interesting. I see your 20...
#22 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 23
- Good heavens. Joel McCrea never did that. - B. J.
#23 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 24
Except the dealer.
#24 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 25
Rackman... 89. Potter, sir...
#25 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 26
Twenty-six out of 30.
#26 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 27
who took a wrong turn on the written test?
#27 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 28 #28 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 29
I'll be shuffling off to the poker game.
#29 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 30
Even "Peanut Brain" Hoffman squeaked through.
#30 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 31
How would you like the next hand to be in your face?
#31 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 32
- I think you're full of bluff. - Cost you 10 bucks to find out.
#32 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 33
- Hawk, you in? - No, I don't... I don't think so.
#33 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 34
I'm down 150 zops.
#34 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 35 #35 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 36
I don't know what's greener, them or their uniforms.
#36 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 37
[Sighs] What?
#37 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 38
and has its lights flashing?"
#38 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 39
"What is the minimum braking distance...
#39 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 40
- Can we stop now? We've been going at this all night. - No. Ask me another question.
#40 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 41
Captain, what are you getting so excited about?
#41 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 42 #42 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 43
Maybe you know him... about 6'4", mustache, big chip on his shoulder.
#43 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 44
Bad news from home is no excuse to start acting like public enemy number one.
#44 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 45
Look, Beej, believe me. We-We're on your side.
#45 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 46
Certainly not you. While you're here, all of you is here.
#46 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 47
is worse than anybody else's?
#47 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 48
Well, go on. It's your turn.
#48 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 49
Ninety-eight! Hot diggety!
#49 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 5 (S10E05) - 50
I take you for a ride. You look at the scenery.
#50