S10 E12
Status
Ended
Network
CBS
SEASON
VIEW ALL EPISODE

Season 10  "Blood and Guts"  10x12

Aired 39 years ago - Jan 18, 1982

Hawkeye is outraged when a sensationalistic war correspondent, Clayton Kibbee, reports irresponsible G.I. stunts as tales of military valor. Kibbee: "As for the last two pints of blood, there's no big finale, no heroes. They helped an old soldier, who'd had visions of glory but finally got it through his thick head how tragic and inhumane war can be. Maybe he'll know better next time."

Mouse over thumbnail for slideshow

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 1
- These biscuits are as hard as golfballs. - And guaranteed not to slice.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 2
Folks, I'd likeyou to meet Clayton Kibbee, or Clay, as I- [ Chuckles ] like to call him.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 3
Ha! Well, I lost all mine writing 'em, and call me Clay.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 4
Whileyou're patchin' up soldiers, I'm gonna write about it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 5
with someone who actually appreciates the finer things oflife.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 6
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 7
All you motorcycle nuts are nuts.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 8
- Where'd you get that bike? - I swapped a Korean 1 0 parkas for it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 9
great. Eveybody should have a hobby. By the way, yours should be resting.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 10
Well, the blood you just got was donated by my readers back home.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 11
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 12
- Don't wory. I'll do somethin' with it. What's your full name? - Thomas Anthony McKegney.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 13
Hawkeye.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 14
Your lips tell me "No, no." but there's "Please, please" in my eyes.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 15
Oh, I know, like grover Cleveland, Voltaire, Pocahontas.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 16
Well, you can close the book on this motorcycle. Stupid points.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 17
- Had the same problem too. The points were shot. - No kiddin'?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 18
- I wanna file my stoy on that first pint ofblood. - Done.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 19
Myword. That's him.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 20
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 21
- um, no, no- a privilege. - Ha! No, the pleasure's all mine, Father.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 22
Well, call me Francis, Clay.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 23
Oh, yes, thankyou, Doctor. The four of us are having a wonderful time.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 24
Thanks, Max. Thanks. You folks, excuse me.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 25
"Escape was impossible, but 'impossible' is a word that has lost its meaning...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 26
- that threw him almost a hundred feet." - Wait a second. Wait a minute.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 27
"He'll be back laughing with his buddies in a week...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 28
What areyou complainin' about? You came offsoundin' pretty good.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 29
It's the wartheywant to readabout: the romance, the heroics, the glory.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 30
I mean, he's- he's writing this up like it's an adventure stoy-
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 31
What?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 32
I'm sure Clay included only those elements necessay to the stoy.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 33
- [ gushes ] - How wonderful.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 34
Well, it's nothing serious. It's Private Belson there.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 35
Come on, son. You can tell me. Don't be modest.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 36
Wonderful. Fresh fish filleted.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 37
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 38
- I'd have gone to Wisconsin. [ Clicks Tongue ] - [Vehicle Engine Running]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 39
- Areyou sure? - I told you I rode one ofthose all through World War II.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 40
[ Cheering, Whistling Continues ]
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 41
- Now that you've fixed it, let's hope it doesn't kill you. - You have no spirit of adventure.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 42
[Margaret] You've ledsuch a fascinating life.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 43
I thought all wars were the same.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 44
- I guess my "No Fighting" sign worked. - Mmm.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 45
I came all the way over here to see a war...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 46
and ifl could have, I would have walked out in the middle.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 47
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 48
Maybe somebody borrowed it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 49
Well, look on the bright side. You'll probably get shot too.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 50
- ##[Continues ] - I think I hear a battle cy.

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 2
Folks, I'd likeyou to meet Clayton Kibbee, or Clay, as I- [ Chuckles ] like to call him.
#2
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 3
Ha! Well, I lost all mine writing 'em, and call me Clay.
#3
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 4
Whileyou're patchin' up soldiers, I'm gonna write about it.
#4
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 5
with someone who actually appreciates the finer things oflife.
#5
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 6 #6 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 7
All you motorcycle nuts are nuts.
#7
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 8
- Where'd you get that bike? - I swapped a Korean 1 0 parkas for it.
#8
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 9
great. Eveybody should have a hobby. By the way, yours should be resting.
#9
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 10
Well, the blood you just got was donated by my readers back home.
#10
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 11 #11 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 12
- Don't wory. I'll do somethin' with it. What's your full name? - Thomas Anthony McKegney.
#12
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 13
Hawkeye.
#13
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 14
Your lips tell me "No, no." but there's "Please, please" in my eyes.
#14
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 15
Oh, I know, like grover Cleveland, Voltaire, Pocahontas.
#15
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 16
Well, you can close the book on this motorcycle. Stupid points.
#16
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 17
- Had the same problem too. The points were shot. - No kiddin'?
#17
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 18
- I wanna file my stoy on that first pint ofblood. - Done.
#18
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 19
Myword. That's him.
#19
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 20 #20 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 21
- um, no, no- a privilege. - Ha! No, the pleasure's all mine, Father.
#21
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 22
Well, call me Francis, Clay.
#22
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 23
Oh, yes, thankyou, Doctor. The four of us are having a wonderful time.
#23
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 24
Thanks, Max. Thanks. You folks, excuse me.
#24
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 25
"Escape was impossible, but 'impossible' is a word that has lost its meaning...
#25
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 26
- that threw him almost a hundred feet." - Wait a second. Wait a minute.
#26
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 27
"He'll be back laughing with his buddies in a week...
#27
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 28
What areyou complainin' about? You came offsoundin' pretty good.
#28
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 29
It's the wartheywant to readabout: the romance, the heroics, the glory.
#29
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 30
I mean, he's- he's writing this up like it's an adventure stoy-
#30
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 31
What?
#31
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 32
I'm sure Clay included only those elements necessay to the stoy.
#32
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 33
- [ gushes ] - How wonderful.
#33
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 34
Well, it's nothing serious. It's Private Belson there.
#34
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 35
Come on, son. You can tell me. Don't be modest.
#35
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 36
Wonderful. Fresh fish filleted.
#36
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 37 #37 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 38
- I'd have gone to Wisconsin. [ Clicks Tongue ] - [Vehicle Engine Running]
#38
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 39
- Areyou sure? - I told you I rode one ofthose all through World War II.
#39
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 40
[ Cheering, Whistling Continues ]
#40
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 41
- Now that you've fixed it, let's hope it doesn't kill you. - You have no spirit of adventure.
#41
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 42
[Margaret] You've ledsuch a fascinating life.
#42
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 43
I thought all wars were the same.
#43
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 44
- I guess my "No Fighting" sign worked. - Mmm.
#44
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 45
I came all the way over here to see a war...
#45
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 46
and ifl could have, I would have walked out in the middle.
#46
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 47 #47 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 48
Maybe somebody borrowed it.
#48
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 49
Well, look on the bright side. You'll probably get shot too.
#49
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 10 Episode 12 (S10E12) - 50
- ##[Continues ] - I think I hear a battle cy.
#50