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M*A*S*H

S5 E2
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Ended
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CBS
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Season 5  "Margaret's Engagement"  5x2

Aired 48 years ago - Sep 28, 1976

Margaret, calling from Tokyo, holds the camp in suspense until she returns with the news of her engagement to Lieutenant Colonel Donald Penobscott. Frank Burns takes the news hard and arrests a Korean family as spies.

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Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 1
Of course I don't not trust you. But the phones do have ears.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 2
- [Man] Clamp. - [B.J.] She didn't even give you a clue, Colonel?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 3
[Potter] It seems Tumwater himself was throwing a do at the Zen Bar to celebrate.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 4
Yukkedy-yuk-yuk.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 5
You took out part of a man's large intestine without exteriorizing it?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 6
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 7
Ohh. I understand you brought good news from Tokyo.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 8
- Margaret, we give up. - Okay. Okay, sit down.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 9
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 10
- Oh. That's better. - [Chuckles]
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 11
Colonel, he's everything I asked for when you dressed up as Santa last Christmas...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 12
- Who's the gal with him? - I think she's a cousin.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 13
Donald is considerate, brave and so generous.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 14
Uh, some of our procedures need improvement.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 15
- Well, that's one. - Give me that Bible. And keep your hands off it.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 16
[Clucking Tune]
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 17
Until those little ingrates set fire to his pants.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 18
Frank, sometimes you have to expect the worst.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 19
Hence and furthermore...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 20
- Ha, ha, ha. - Ha, ha, ha, ha.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 21
Yes, Colonel. About three weeks ago...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 22
- What do you have to say for yourself, Burns? - Exteriorizing takes time.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 23
Let's go in the den and watch TV.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 24
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 25
- Oh, I'm so happy, Frank. - If you're happy, I'm happy.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 26
- [Potter] That's not so bad. - [B.J.] Nine straight hours?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 27
Hey, B.J.? Hawkeye?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 28
Corporal, if you need a job after the war, look me up in Fort Wayne.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 29
Uh, uh, no thank you, sir.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 30
A wimp, he is not. He's all man.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 31
Why, Major Burns, you're exteriorizing the wound.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 32
- Come on. Hold still. Hold still. - That sadist.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 33
You can take it. You're a grown woman... semi.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 34
I'll always have a soft spot for a real patriot.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 35
- [Margaret] Who's there? - Open the door and let me in, or I'll huff and I'll puff...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 36
I wish only the best for you, Margaret.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 37
And there, printed right on the paper was the answer...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 38
freckle-faced kids in striped T-shirts.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 39
I don't think it would weaken the war effort.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 40
- He'll grind you into soap flakes! - Say "grind" again!
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 41
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 42
[Pin Clatters On Ground]
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 43
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 44
Now I know how Dad felt the night of my prom.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 45
Uh, I think you sirs oughta, uh, come outside.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 46
Major Burns presenting prisoners of war to be interrogated, sir!
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 47
- Radar, see if they need medical attention. - These people look hungry.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 48
Frank, you're exhausted. You haven't slept in 48 hours.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 49
- Put the rifle down, Frank. - I'll take it, Frank.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 50

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 2
- [Man] Clamp. - [B.J.] She didn't even give you a clue, Colonel?
#2 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 3
[Potter] It seems Tumwater himself was throwing a do at the Zen Bar to celebrate.
#3 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 4
Yukkedy-yuk-yuk.
#4 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 5
You took out part of a man's large intestine without exteriorizing it?
#5 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 6 #6 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 7
Ohh. I understand you brought good news from Tokyo.
#7 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 8
- Margaret, we give up. - Okay. Okay, sit down.
#8 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 9 #9 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 10
- Oh. That's better. - [Chuckles]
#10 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 11
Colonel, he's everything I asked for when you dressed up as Santa last Christmas...
#11 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 12
- Who's the gal with him? - I think she's a cousin.
#12 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 13
Donald is considerate, brave and so generous.
#13 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 14
Uh, some of our procedures need improvement.
#14 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 15
- Well, that's one. - Give me that Bible. And keep your hands off it.
#15 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 16
[Clucking Tune]
#16 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 17
Until those little ingrates set fire to his pants.
#17 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 18
Frank, sometimes you have to expect the worst.
#18 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 19
Hence and furthermore...
#19 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 20
- Ha, ha, ha. - Ha, ha, ha, ha.
#20 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 21
Yes, Colonel. About three weeks ago...
#21 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 22
- What do you have to say for yourself, Burns? - Exteriorizing takes time.
#22 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 23
Let's go in the den and watch TV.
#23 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 24 #24 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 25
- Oh, I'm so happy, Frank. - If you're happy, I'm happy.
#25 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 26
- [Potter] That's not so bad. - [B.J.] Nine straight hours?
#26 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 27
Hey, B.J.? Hawkeye?
#27 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 28
Corporal, if you need a job after the war, look me up in Fort Wayne.
#28 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 29
Uh, uh, no thank you, sir.
#29 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 30
A wimp, he is not. He's all man.
#30 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 31
Why, Major Burns, you're exteriorizing the wound.
#31 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 32
- Come on. Hold still. Hold still. - That sadist.
#32 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 33
You can take it. You're a grown woman... semi.
#33 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 34
I'll always have a soft spot for a real patriot.
#34 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 35
- [Margaret] Who's there? - Open the door and let me in, or I'll huff and I'll puff...
#35 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 36
I wish only the best for you, Margaret.
#36 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 37
And there, printed right on the paper was the answer...
#37 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 38
freckle-faced kids in striped T-shirts.
#38 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 39
I don't think it would weaken the war effort.
#39 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 40
- He'll grind you into soap flakes! - Say "grind" again!
#40 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 41 #41 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 42
[Pin Clatters On Ground]
#42 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 43 #43 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 44
Now I know how Dad felt the night of my prom.
#44 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 45
Uh, I think you sirs oughta, uh, come outside.
#45 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 46
Major Burns presenting prisoners of war to be interrogated, sir!
#46 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 47
- Radar, see if they need medical attention. - These people look hungry.
#47 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 48
Frank, you're exhausted. You haven't slept in 48 hours.
#48 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 49
- Put the rifle down, Frank. - I'll take it, Frank.
#49 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 2 (S05E02) - 50 #50