S5 E19
Status
Ended
Network
CBS
SEASON
VIEW ALL EPISODE

Season 5  "Hepatitis"  5x19

Aired 43 years ago - Feb 08, 1977

Father Mulcahy comes down with infectious hepatitis, and Hawkeye has to give the whole camp antibiotics, whilst dealing with a psychosomatic back pain. Meanwhile, B.J. has to perform a very difficult operation.

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Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 1
They oughta give him the disease and split the dough with the mice.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 2
You're right. I feel a lot better.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 3
- [Grunts] - We got here too late for the hard-boiled eggs.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 4
- Off his feed too. - You gonna finish your coffee, Father?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 5
- Why? - The "Swiss Family Hepatitis" is swimming around in there.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 6
Give 'em a shot of gamma globulin.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 7
It was just laying out there in the open. I wasn't going through your private papers.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 8
- Yeah? Ever since Margaret got engaged? - No!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 9
Let me get some blood. I'll give you a shot in the behind, and I'll get out of here.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 10
Yeah. This guy's nodes got so big, eventually they took over Minneapolis.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 11
Don't taunt me, Frank. I'm holding a sharp object.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 12
If you care anything about human life, you'll feel my lumps before you go.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 13
- I have to examine you. You're gonna get a shot too. - So are you, kiddo.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 14
- How 'bout if I show you mine first? - I can look at my own tongue.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 15
How's your fiance Lieutenant Colonel Donald Penobscott of West Point?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 16
She's welcoming me, but in a very left-handed way. Listen to this.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 17
We still send her Christmas cards every year... at the state hospital."
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 18
- Come on, Margaret. You're taking all the fun out of it. - Yes, that's right. I am.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 19
- If you say one word... - Oh, I wouldn't, I wouldn't. Not a word.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 20
and then stand there ogling me as though I were a sideshow attraction.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 21
- What? - Maybe not those words, but that attitude.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 22
[Man On P.A.] Attention all personnel. Incoming. Incoming.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 23
- Where do you start? - I'm here.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 24
- What do you think? - You're the chief surgeon. You tell me.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 25
Fine. Take your time. What are you gonna do?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 26
- What the hell are you doing? - I wanna see if you got hepatitis...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 27
- The Swamp, 10:00. - Good luck, Beej.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 28
- How you feeling, Father? - Uh, fine actually.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 29
and make a fortune for the orphanage.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 30
- You wanna kill yourself? - Well, at least let's rig up something...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 31
- I'm hearing confessions, and that's it. - All right. Get a little rest.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 32
Here. They look like potato eyes, right? You are what you mash.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 33
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 34
- I really gotta work on it. - Yeah, right.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 35
- Excuse me. - You want me to stab myself? Just hold still.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 36
I gotta calm down. I don't care what he says about me.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 37
- Now get over there. - Sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 38
You know what this reminds me of? Assembling those toys I got as a kid.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 39
Everything that's fit to print.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 40
Like, uh, like he's anemic or, uh, he isn't red-blooded enough or...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 41
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 42
and come back to camp the next morning without any sleep and throw up all day.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 43
- Hmm. - But you're different.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 44
Yourself.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 45
they came up with an ileocolic segment that was gangrenous.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 46
One more stitch, I'll be ready to start closing. How's he doing?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 47
I did it! I saved him. He's alive!
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 48
and the world's most wonderful surgeon...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 49
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 50
- Uh-huh. - There's no contamination of the water supply.

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 2
You're right. I feel a lot better.
#2
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 3
- [Grunts] - We got here too late for the hard-boiled eggs.
#3
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 4
- Off his feed too. - You gonna finish your coffee, Father?
#4
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 5
- Why? - The "Swiss Family Hepatitis" is swimming around in there.
#5
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 6
Give 'em a shot of gamma globulin.
#6
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 7
It was just laying out there in the open. I wasn't going through your private papers.
#7
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 8
- Yeah? Ever since Margaret got engaged? - No!
#8
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 9
Let me get some blood. I'll give you a shot in the behind, and I'll get out of here.
#9
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 10
Yeah. This guy's nodes got so big, eventually they took over Minneapolis.
#10
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 11
Don't taunt me, Frank. I'm holding a sharp object.
#11
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 12
If you care anything about human life, you'll feel my lumps before you go.
#12
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 13
- I have to examine you. You're gonna get a shot too. - So are you, kiddo.
#13
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 14
- How 'bout if I show you mine first? - I can look at my own tongue.
#14
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 15
How's your fiance Lieutenant Colonel Donald Penobscott of West Point?
#15
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 16
She's welcoming me, but in a very left-handed way. Listen to this.
#16
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 17
We still send her Christmas cards every year... at the state hospital."
#17
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 18
- Come on, Margaret. You're taking all the fun out of it. - Yes, that's right. I am.
#18
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 19
- If you say one word... - Oh, I wouldn't, I wouldn't. Not a word.
#19
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 20
and then stand there ogling me as though I were a sideshow attraction.
#20
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 21
- What? - Maybe not those words, but that attitude.
#21
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 22
[Man On P.A.] Attention all personnel. Incoming. Incoming.
#22
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 23
- Where do you start? - I'm here.
#23
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 24
- What do you think? - You're the chief surgeon. You tell me.
#24
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 25
Fine. Take your time. What are you gonna do?
#25
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 26
- What the hell are you doing? - I wanna see if you got hepatitis...
#26
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 27
- The Swamp, 10:00. - Good luck, Beej.
#27
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 28
- How you feeling, Father? - Uh, fine actually.
#28
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 29
and make a fortune for the orphanage.
#29
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 30
- You wanna kill yourself? - Well, at least let's rig up something...
#30
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 31
- I'm hearing confessions, and that's it. - All right. Get a little rest.
#31
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 32
Here. They look like potato eyes, right? You are what you mash.
#32
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 33 #33 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 34
- I really gotta work on it. - Yeah, right.
#34
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 35
- Excuse me. - You want me to stab myself? Just hold still.
#35
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 36
I gotta calm down. I don't care what he says about me.
#36
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 37
- Now get over there. - Sir.
#37
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 38
You know what this reminds me of? Assembling those toys I got as a kid.
#38
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 39
Everything that's fit to print.
#39
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 40
Like, uh, like he's anemic or, uh, he isn't red-blooded enough or...
#40
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 41 #41 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 42
and come back to camp the next morning without any sleep and throw up all day.
#42
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 43
- Hmm. - But you're different.
#43
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 44
Yourself.
#44
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 45
they came up with an ileocolic segment that was gangrenous.
#45
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 46
One more stitch, I'll be ready to start closing. How's he doing?
#46
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 47
I did it! I saved him. He's alive!
#47
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 48
and the world's most wonderful surgeon...
#48
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 49 #49 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 19 (S05E19) - 50
- Uh-huh. - There's no contamination of the water supply.
#50