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M*A*S*H

S5 E11
Status
Ended
Network
CBS
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Season 5  "The Colonel's Horse"  5x11

Aired 47 years ago - Dec 07, 1976

While Colonel Potter goes to Tokyo on R&R, his horse develops colic. Klinger becomes chronically depressed, and Hot Lips gets appendicitis. The horse is flushed out with a hose, Hawkeye and B.J. perform an appendectomy on Hot Lips, and all are well when Potter returns, except Klinger. Potter offers Klinger a discharge for severe depression, and Klinger gets very excited, which loses him the discharge.

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Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 1
- I'll ask. - I'll need three yards.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 2
- Can't you do something? - Like sit him down, have a talk with him?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 3
- Now if you were in command, what would you do? - I'd take him to Tokyo.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 4
No, I won't. I'm not an animal. I'm a doctor. I can curb my lust.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 5
- No! - Show me some consideration. Let me cut you open.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 6
Yeah. Get rid of this gas.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 7
Wonderful woman.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 8
- [Knocking] - Come.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 9
We have winners of the Abbott and Costello look-alike contest.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 10
But if she flares up, we've got a whole corral of surgeons here.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 11
Corporal Klinger will accept the Rockwell print by himself.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 12
I gave up tryin' to get a discharge, sir. I'm so depressed.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 13
- No, thanks anyway. - Found your book, sir.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 14
- He's gotta pick the "Nun of the Week." - Dedicated man.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 15
- Once. Didn't have the nerve to put down my ukulele. - [Laughs]
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 16
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 17
No, it's Wednesday. I always make tent calls.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 18
Potter told me about your problem. So, uh, Major, if you'll just lie down there...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 19
- And fun. - Uh, no!
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 20
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 21
The colonel's mare is lyin' down. Her eyes and her nose are running.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 22
But this is serious. Colonel Potter will have me executed and court-martialed.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 23
- Hope she knows I'm a doctor. - Show her your diploma.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 24
I don't hear a thing. Maybe the speaker's broken.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 25
- You, sir. - [B.J.] Who belted Major Burns...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 26
Once you're in a road company, it's very hard to get back to Broadway.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 27
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 28
No, uh, Quapaw. Yeah, look, I know you're busy, but...
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 29
Think Captain Pierce would part with some of his nudist magazines?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 30
Okay. Yeah, terrific. We'll hang on.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 31
Yeah? Okay! He's got Seattle. Hey, it's yesterday there.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 32
# M-O-U-S-E #
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 33
- The horse. - Wha... Oh, look, Pa, I can't hang on too long.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 34
Not a sound. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 35
- What? - What? What? What?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 36
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 37
Sometimes we all need a helping hand.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 38
In Atlantic City, this'd cost you seven-fifty.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 39
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 40
Just right.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 41
- Standing by! - Standing by!
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 42
- Hold the water! - Hold the water!
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 43
[Cheering, Applause]
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 44
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 45
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 46
- Inside and out. - Good!
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 47
- Well, what can I do? I'll arrange a discharge. - What was that, sir?
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 48
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 49
Like to see you do that Top Hat number for the wounded.
 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 50
Number one... In the Mess Tent yesterday, he made a face at me.

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 2
- Can't you do something? - Like sit him down, have a talk with him?
#2 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 3
- Now if you were in command, what would you do? - I'd take him to Tokyo.
#3 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 4
No, I won't. I'm not an animal. I'm a doctor. I can curb my lust.
#4 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 5
- No! - Show me some consideration. Let me cut you open.
#5 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 6
Yeah. Get rid of this gas.
#6 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 7
Wonderful woman.
#7 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 8
- [Knocking] - Come.
#8 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 9
We have winners of the Abbott and Costello look-alike contest.
#9 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 10
But if she flares up, we've got a whole corral of surgeons here.
#10 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 11
Corporal Klinger will accept the Rockwell print by himself.
#11 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 12
I gave up tryin' to get a discharge, sir. I'm so depressed.
#12 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 13
- No, thanks anyway. - Found your book, sir.
#13 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 14
- He's gotta pick the "Nun of the Week." - Dedicated man.
#14 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 15
- Once. Didn't have the nerve to put down my ukulele. - [Laughs]
#15 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 16 #16 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 17
No, it's Wednesday. I always make tent calls.
#17 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 18
Potter told me about your problem. So, uh, Major, if you'll just lie down there...
#18 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 19
- And fun. - Uh, no!
#19 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 20 #20 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 21
The colonel's mare is lyin' down. Her eyes and her nose are running.
#21 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 22
But this is serious. Colonel Potter will have me executed and court-martialed.
#22 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 23
- Hope she knows I'm a doctor. - Show her your diploma.
#23 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 24
I don't hear a thing. Maybe the speaker's broken.
#24 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 25
- You, sir. - [B.J.] Who belted Major Burns...
#25 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 26
Once you're in a road company, it's very hard to get back to Broadway.
#26 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 27 #27 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 28
No, uh, Quapaw. Yeah, look, I know you're busy, but...
#28 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 29
Think Captain Pierce would part with some of his nudist magazines?
#29 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 30
Okay. Yeah, terrific. We'll hang on.
#30 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 31
Yeah? Okay! He's got Seattle. Hey, it's yesterday there.
#31 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 32
# M-O-U-S-E #
#32 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 33
- The horse. - Wha... Oh, look, Pa, I can't hang on too long.
#33 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 34
Not a sound. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
#34 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 35
- What? - What? What? What?
#35 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 36 #36 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 37
Sometimes we all need a helping hand.
#37 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 38
In Atlantic City, this'd cost you seven-fifty.
#38 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 39 #39 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 40
Just right.
#40 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 41
- Standing by! - Standing by!
#41 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 42
- Hold the water! - Hold the water!
#42 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 43
[Cheering, Applause]
#43 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 44 #44 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 45 #45 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 46
- Inside and out. - Good!
#46 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 47
- Well, what can I do? I'll arrange a discharge. - What was that, sir?
#47 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 48 #48 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 49
Like to see you do that Top Hat number for the wounded.
#49 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 5 Episode 11 (S05E11) - 50
Number one... In the Mess Tent yesterday, he made a face at me.
#50