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Season 1  "Weight Gain 4000"  1x2

Aired 23 years ago - Aug 20, 1997

Mr. Garrison starts the day off with a special announcement; one of South Park's own has won a national essay contest. Everyone is shocked to learn that the winner is Cartman, who doesn't even remember what he wrote about.

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Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 1
What crawls up your leg and bites the inside of your ass?
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 2
- Mr. Garrison, this sure is exciting. - Right, Mr. Hat.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 3
Out of over a million papers, Eric's was chosen as the winner.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 4
Dude, dolphins are the second smartest animal on the planet.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 5
The presentation will be on television.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 6
If I can show how much I turned South Park around, I could become a senator!
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 7
Yes! And we can have the children of South Park put on a play.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 8
- How are my little crackers? - Good.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 9
Kathie Lee is a beautiful, sultry queen of sexual fantasy.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 10
Have you forgotten the pain and suffering Kathie Lee caused you?
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 11
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 12
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 13
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 14
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 15
Mr. Garrison, I'm asking you to direct our play.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 16
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 17
We don't believe you won that contest fairly, fat boy.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 18
- It's tree-hugging hippie crap. - Tell me what you wrote!
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 19
Tired of not getting chicks? Tired of being a 90-pound weakling?
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 20
Now available at stores everywhere.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 21
But tomorrow is grocery day, Eric.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 22
Kill!
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 23
I have a nice body, and I wanna show it off!
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 24
- Bulk up to what? Fat-ass? - Super fat-ass?
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 25
Hang up the lights, string up the banners, castrate the cows!
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 26
- Am I an Indian or a pioneer? - You have a feather on your head?
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 27
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 28
The pioneers met with the Indians...
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 29
Do you actually think that Kathie Lee Gifford would enjoy this?
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 30
It happened again, didn't it? Now we do things my way.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 31
No, you're not. You're fatter than ever!
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 32
- Peace, Wendy. - Shut up, Cartman!
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 33
May I suggest a Stratford 1 2 mm? Go ahead. Try it on!
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 34
You talking to me?!
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 35
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 36
Mr. Hat, old Kathie Lee really will be surprised when she gets here tomorrow.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 37
- Nice gun, Mr. Garrison. - Thanks.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 38
That might do quite nicely. Thank you, Officer Barbrady.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 39
- Guys, we have to stop him! - Stop who?
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 40
It just so happens that I have your paper, and I know why you won.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 41
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 42
It is with great pride and honor that I'd like to welcome...
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 43
You know, Kathie Lee, you are a very special woman.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 44
...and make sweet love to it all night long.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 45
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 46
What? You mean the teacher? Wait a minute.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 47
Damn, he could be anywhere! I'll send out an APB.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 48
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 49
It is with honor and pride that I present the winner this trophy.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 50
I've learned something today. You can't win all the time.

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 2
- Mr. Garrison, this sure is exciting. - Right, Mr. Hat.
#2
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 3
Out of over a million papers, Eric's was chosen as the winner.
#3
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 4
Dude, dolphins are the second smartest animal on the planet.
#4
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 5
The presentation will be on television.
#5
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 6
If I can show how much I turned South Park around, I could become a senator!
#6
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 7
Yes! And we can have the children of South Park put on a play.
#7
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 8
- How are my little crackers? - Good.
#8
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 9
Kathie Lee is a beautiful, sultry queen of sexual fantasy.
#9
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 10
Have you forgotten the pain and suffering Kathie Lee caused you?
#10
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 11 #11 Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 12 #12 Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 13 #13 Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 14 #14 Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 15
Mr. Garrison, I'm asking you to direct our play.
#15
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 16 #16 Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 17
We don't believe you won that contest fairly, fat boy.
#17
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 18
- It's tree-hugging hippie crap. - Tell me what you wrote!
#18
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 19
Tired of not getting chicks? Tired of being a 90-pound weakling?
#19
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 20
Now available at stores everywhere.
#20
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 21
But tomorrow is grocery day, Eric.
#21
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 22
Kill!
#22
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 23
I have a nice body, and I wanna show it off!
#23
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 24
- Bulk up to what? Fat-ass? - Super fat-ass?
#24
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 25
Hang up the lights, string up the banners, castrate the cows!
#25
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 26
- Am I an Indian or a pioneer? - You have a feather on your head?
#26
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 27 #27 Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 28
The pioneers met with the Indians...
#28
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 29
Do you actually think that Kathie Lee Gifford would enjoy this?
#29
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 30
It happened again, didn't it? Now we do things my way.
#30
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 31
No, you're not. You're fatter than ever!
#31
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 32
- Peace, Wendy. - Shut up, Cartman!
#32
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 33
May I suggest a Stratford 1 2 mm? Go ahead. Try it on!
#33
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 34
You talking to me?!
#34
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 35 #35 Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 36
Mr. Hat, old Kathie Lee really will be surprised when she gets here tomorrow.
#36
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 37
- Nice gun, Mr. Garrison. - Thanks.
#37
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 38
That might do quite nicely. Thank you, Officer Barbrady.
#38
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 39
- Guys, we have to stop him! - Stop who?
#39
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 40
It just so happens that I have your paper, and I know why you won.
#40
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 41 #41 Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 42
It is with great pride and honor that I'd like to welcome...
#42
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 43
You know, Kathie Lee, you are a very special woman.
#43
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 44
...and make sweet love to it all night long.
#44
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 45 #45 Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 46
What? You mean the teacher? Wait a minute.
#46
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 47
Damn, he could be anywhere! I'll send out an APB.
#47
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 48 #48 Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 49
It is with honor and pride that I present the winner this trophy.
#49
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 50
I've learned something today. You can't win all the time.
#50