S1 E1
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Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central
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Season 1  "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe"  1x1

Aired 23 years ago - Aug 13, 1997

While the boys are waiting for the school bus, Cartman explains the odd nightmare he had the previous night involving alien visitors abducting him from his bed. Meanwhile Kyle and Stan try to convince Cartman that the dream was in fact a reality.

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Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 1
What's a dildo, Kenny?
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 2
Looks like you didn't get much sleep.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 3
Then I was on a table, and these scary aliens wanted to operate on me.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 4
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 5
Was it the ones with the big heads and black eyes?
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 6
- Anal probe. - Shut up, dildo!
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 7
- Why you walking so funny? - Shut up!
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 8
If something happens to him, my parents will blame me.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 9
You have to stop this bus!
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 10
- That fat bitch won't let us. - What did you say?!
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 11
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 12
And black Army CIA helicopters and trucks.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 13
My cattle!
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 14
Columbus discovered America and was the Indians' best friend.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 15
"Where's your brother? You weren't looking out for him."
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 16
It's true. Ask Cartman. They gave him an anal probe.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 17
You go to hell and you die! You'll have to take your seat.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 18
Do you need to sit in the corner until your gas is under control?
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 19
You cows have no business on a people train, all right? You're cows.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 20
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 21
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 22
Here, Stan, this is for you.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 23
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 24
Here, let me sing you a little song. It might clear things up.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 25
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 26
- He thinks we're making it up. - You are making it up.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 27
It's no joke, children. This is big.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 28
Fire drill, fire drill! Everybody out! Okay, children, this is your chance.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 29
- I can't, you son of a bitch! - How do we get my brother back?
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 30
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 31
That hurts, you butt-licker!
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 32
Hey, look. I think Kenny's okay.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 33
- Shut up, you guys. - He's dead, Cartman.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 34
Like Chef says, "I'm getting a piece of loving while the getting's hot."
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 35
- You're not fat, you're big-boned. - That's what I said.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 36
- Sure. You want some Cheesy Poofs too? - Yeah, I want Cheesy Poofs.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 37
Would you get down to business so we can find Ike?
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 38
Could it be that aliens are trying to make contact with us on Earth?
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 39
Then I know a certain kitty-kitty who's sleeping with Mommy tonight.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 40
You're right. Come on, Stan. We have to get Cartman.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 41
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 42
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 43
All you have to do is fart and the visitors are sure to come.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 44
I'm sick of it! It's completely immature!
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 45
Oh, boy, the aliens are going to make first contact.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 46
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 47
Visitors, you took my brother. He's freckled and looks like a football.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 48
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 49
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 50

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 2
Looks like you didn't get much sleep.
#2
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 3
Then I was on a table, and these scary aliens wanted to operate on me.
#3
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 4 #4 Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 5
Was it the ones with the big heads and black eyes?
#5
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 6
- Anal probe. - Shut up, dildo!
#6
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 7
- Why you walking so funny? - Shut up!
#7
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 8
If something happens to him, my parents will blame me.
#8
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 9
You have to stop this bus!
#9
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 10
- That fat bitch won't let us. - What did you say?!
#10
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 11 #11 Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 12
And black Army CIA helicopters and trucks.
#12
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 13
My cattle!
#13
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 14
Columbus discovered America and was the Indians' best friend.
#14
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 15
"Where's your brother? You weren't looking out for him."
#15
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 16
It's true. Ask Cartman. They gave him an anal probe.
#16
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 17
You go to hell and you die! You'll have to take your seat.
#17
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 18
Do you need to sit in the corner until your gas is under control?
#18
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 19
You cows have no business on a people train, all right? You're cows.
#19
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 20 #20 Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 21 #21 Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 22
Here, Stan, this is for you.
#22
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 23 #23 Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 24
Here, let me sing you a little song. It might clear things up.
#24
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 25 #25 Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 26
- He thinks we're making it up. - You are making it up.
#26
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 27
It's no joke, children. This is big.
#27
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 28
Fire drill, fire drill! Everybody out! Okay, children, this is your chance.
#28
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 29
- I can't, you son of a bitch! - How do we get my brother back?
#29
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 30 #30 Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 31
That hurts, you butt-licker!
#31
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 32
Hey, look. I think Kenny's okay.
#32
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 33
- Shut up, you guys. - He's dead, Cartman.
#33
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 34
Like Chef says, "I'm getting a piece of loving while the getting's hot."
#34
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 35
- You're not fat, you're big-boned. - That's what I said.
#35
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 36
- Sure. You want some Cheesy Poofs too? - Yeah, I want Cheesy Poofs.
#36
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 37
Would you get down to business so we can find Ike?
#37
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 38
Could it be that aliens are trying to make contact with us on Earth?
#38
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 39
Then I know a certain kitty-kitty who's sleeping with Mommy tonight.
#39
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 40
You're right. Come on, Stan. We have to get Cartman.
#40
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 41 #41 Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 42 #42 Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 43
All you have to do is fart and the visitors are sure to come.
#43
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 44
I'm sick of it! It's completely immature!
#44
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 45
Oh, boy, the aliens are going to make first contact.
#45
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 46 #46 Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 47
Visitors, you took my brother. He's freckled and looks like a football.
#47
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 48 #48 Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 49 #49 Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 50 #50