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SEASON
EPISODE

Season 14

Aired 9 years ago - Nov 17, 2010

Stan's life is a shambles both at home and in school. Randy's obsession with the Food Network Is changing everything. It even forces Sharon to explore a new interest of her own.

Aired 9 years ago - Nov 10, 2010

The Coon shows himself to be even more evil than the dark lord, Cthulhu, as he punishes his former partners in Coon & Friends. Kenny McCormick, is wrestling with the weight of his own super power through his alter-ego, Mysterion. Will Coon and Friends save the day? Will Mysterion ever come to terms with his ability to defy death? All this as the nation waits and wonders: Where is Captain Hindsight? MORE -LESS

Aired 9 years ago - Nov 03, 2010

Led by Mysterion, Coon and Friends are working together to help the people in the Gulf who are at the mercy of the dark lord, Cthulhu. The Coon, scorned by his fellow super heroes and now working alone, is out for revenge.

Recap of South Park Season 14 Episode 12 (S14E12) - 1
That super hero group that's helping with the Gulf spill!
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with all her might, but the Coon was too much for her.
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Timmy!
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It has all been foretold in the Necronomicon.
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But I think we better find out.
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Whoever did this to our base was looking for something.
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Wanting to become the best known reporter in the country, Jack
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fighting for peace and the American way.
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Where are the pictures?
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go home, and I've missed like four days of school now cuz... Alright, enough!
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Because I could realize I should have killed you all!
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My mom did tell me to be home I said it's fine, just go!
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The Coon!
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The super humans I speak of are right now working on plans to destroy you.
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Where are you going?
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I immediately know how it could have been avoided.
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I wake up in my bed, wearing my same old clothes.
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Should I admit we've made mistakes?
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Should I forget about the past and not care about my powers?
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They're my technicians.
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and go back to my original team?
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history and the means for summoning them.
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So these people have been waiting for Cthulhu a long time.
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Clyde... Clyde, I told you this morning to take the garbage out!
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After days of killing and conquering, Cthulhu is at rest,
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What the hell do you want this time?
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Ten years ago you were arrested for being in some kind of cult.
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What happened at those meetings?
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I think they still do.
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The dark ancient god Cthulhu has called for a press conference.
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instantly recognizable brand name of the Coon, we intend to
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Well, I guess we have the right to banish them to a dark oblivion, don't we?
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Well, for all our South Park Cthulhu cult members, old and
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I'm so freaking stoked that.
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"That is not dead, which can eternal lie."
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Mysterion?
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Where are you Captain Hindsight?
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Good. Cuz if I had to go to pe class again, I was gonna kill myself.
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It means Cthulhu is going to get rid of all the posers and
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Life will become death and I will watch the crimson blood leak from your neck!
Aired 10 years ago - Oct 27, 2010

The Coon now leads an entire team of crime-fighters. They are ready to take their place among the worlds most admired and beloved super heroes. But much to the Coons dismay, someone else keeps beating them to the punch. The nation looks to another hero to get them through the BP disaster and dissention develops within the ranks of Coon and friends.

Aired 10 years ago - Oct 20, 2010

When Stan is sent to the school counselor because he's holding on to an obscene number of useless possessions, he realizes that Mr. Mackey has a hoarding disorder too.

Recap of South Park Season 14 Episode 10 (S14E10) - 1
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it definitely sounds bad, ok.
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rape you in the mouth,
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We don't know a lot about what causes hoarding
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people hoard animals like cats.
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All right, everyone,
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But I'm actually herding sheep.
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That sounds like it could be bad.
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Blowing the cloud.
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It means Mr. mackey's childhood regression dream
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it is possible to enter into someone else's dreams.
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and then everyone in the dream
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I can make things with light like a birds, ok, clowns, ok.
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You can hide in your house for now, mackey,
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Does something really bad happened on the field trip?
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All right. You want to risk your ass, fine.
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I don't belong here.
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Dad, is that you?
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You've got to stop mackey and bring us back to reality.
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Off chart? What does that mean?
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Four people stuck in his dream.
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No, like a nightmare with in a nightmare.
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But your husband will think were in Hasselbeck dreams.
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it's so complex and cool.
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If they don't, it will be the end of Europe as we know it.
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help keep America looking good
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are somehow trapped in one person's dream?
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A double Decker taco supreme.
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Because the firemen dreams aren't like dreams at all.
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that way we'll be in the counselor's deepest level of sub...
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Stand up to them this time.
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I'm going to stand and face what happens, mkay?
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Wineed to get help from the most powerful dream infiltrator in the world.
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You're looking healthy.
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I said I'm done with it.
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Then you should have no problem covering it up.
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You're going to fight back?
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We got them, the bad memories are dead.
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Unless the bullies aren't the source of the counselor's bad memory.
Aired 10 years ago - Oct 13, 2010

New Jersey is rapidly taking over the nation one state at a time and their next stop is South Park.

Aired 10 years ago - Oct 06, 2010

Cartman wants to race with the pros and he's ready to do whatever it takes to make it happen. He's afraid that no matter how hard he tries, he'll never reach the level of the other NASCAR drivers. Working with Butters as his pit boss, Cartman pulls out all the stops to compete in the race of his life.

Recap of South Park Season 14 Episode 8 (S14E08) - 1
- I'm going for the gold. - Nascar.
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From this moment on, I am poor, like Kenny.
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Hello! Excuse me!
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Mostly cats.
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Hey, that's a hot girl over there.
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Fucking gross!
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We need vagisil.
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But I... I didn't bring any money. I didn't know I had to buy vagisil.
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We are just seconds away from the start of the Denver 300!
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I'm not moving, Butters.
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Oh fuck my ass!
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Don't you get it, Butters?
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He has two fractured ribs, a broken femur,...
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You are lucky to be alive, young man.
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Did you hear that, Eric? See?
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Tom, the Nascar fan got into a car here on sunday and crashed in the lake behind me.
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The Nascar fan vows he will try to do it again,...
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Oh hey, Kenny!
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I wasn't born with a plastic spoon in my mouth.
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I'm the founder and C.E.O. of vagisil.
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We realize that Nascar can do a lot for product recognition,...
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Vagisil would like you to represent us in the next Nascar race!
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I got a Nascar, Kenny! So awesome, huh Kenny?
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You know the techs have done a really good job of making sure
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Of course, any time you're dealing with high humidity...
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I'm just as poor and stupid as you!
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Thanks, B-Buds. I really think I can hold my own against these guys.
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People who weren't sure what to think of Nascar are more sure today...
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Today I'm gonna be dippin' vagisil regular strength anti-itch cream.
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Fucking gay as hell.
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Well, if you ask me, that's all the proof we need that...
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The stage is set for what could be the most important race of the Nascar year.
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You know I first created vagisil to try and help my wife, Patty.
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Okay. Well, the race is about to start, so why don't we kick it back down to the track.
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This is just the pace lap. You don't go full speed yet!
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We want women to know that vagisil is effective,...
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That pisses me off.
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Get off my car, Kenny!
Aired 10 years ago - Apr 28, 2010

Competition is the name of the game this summer. There is no time for Jimmy and his friends to slack off. They're working to be this year's champions at summer camp. Jimmy suits up and prepares to shred in the annual surfing contest.

Aired 10 years ago - Apr 21, 2010

Angry celebrities, violent ginger kids and Mecha Streisand are about to destroy South Park and all anyone wants to know is, “Who is Eric Cartman’s father?”

Aired 10 years ago - Apr 14, 2010

While on a school field trip, Stan accidentally insults Tom Cruise and sets off a chain reaction. 200 previously ridiculed celebrities stand strong in a class action lawsuit against the town of South Park.

Recap of South Park Season 14 Episode 5 (S14E05) - 1
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Stan Marsh to the Principal's office, Stan Marsh come immediately.
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He was packing fudge!
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Mr. Broflovski, tell him what you told us.
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Mr. Cruise, my son is so, so sorry,
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take fudge and pack it into a box...
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because you have a little uniform,
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to maybe make me forget about this lawsuit.
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But he will get the other celebrities to withdraw their lawsuit if we...
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I can't believe we are dealing with this Muhammad thing again.
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A while ago, my friends joined David Blaine's cult.
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Jesus, you can't learn to shut up, can you?
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What if nobody could call your music drunken frat boy monkey garbage?
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and that if you love Johnny Depp, you should have sex with him.
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It's one of the kids from South Park that slandered me!
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I am Jennifer Lopez and I like tacos and burritos!
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Jesus!
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to right that which is wrong
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We simply cannot risk any violence from the Muslim people.
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Muslims would still be angry you showed his face.
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Boys, you must understand that people get very offended when he is mocked,
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He has to, or nobody knows he's in there!
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It's as simple as that.
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Just keep your mouth shut and do what I tell you.
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Muhammad is the only person that can't get ripped on.
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Thank you so much for coming.
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Cruise's lawyers were very specific.
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One that covered him completely, not even showing his eyes.
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- Will the machine be ready? - It'll be ready!
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You're not really Jennifer Lopez. Now, stop pissing me off!
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You won't believe it.
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Let me by.
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I know enough. My mother is a hermaphrodite.
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You got lied to, by the people who were closest to you.
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but we'll have to give you over to the gingers.
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- Gingers? - Hell no!
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They wanna play rough? Okay!
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Fine. Then let's have her do it.
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Aired 10 years ago - Apr 07, 2010

Kyle "friended" the wrong person and now all of his old friends are deserting him. His situation is desperate. Kyle looks for help from the one person who has always been there for him.

Aired 10 years ago - Mar 31, 2010

State Law in Colorado says it's legal to smoke pot if you have a physician's reference. Randy is the first-in-line to buy some but he's turned away because there's absolutely nothing wrong with him. Randy is desperate to get a medical excuse to smoke some weed but meanwhile, Cartman will do anything to get his beloved fried chicken restaurant back.

Aired 10 years ago - Mar 24, 2010

The boys are given a controversial book to read in school that both excites and inspires them to write one of their own. When the boys discover that Stan's mom has found their masterpiece, their new motivation is how they can stay out of trouble.

Recap of South Park Season 14 Episode 2 (S14E02) - 1
Yeah, we could get a book banned way more than this one.
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When scrotie mcboogerballs awoke to find his -- Ew!
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Walking out of his house he spotted a bloody and pus covered --
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Our son and his friends wrote it!
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When scrotie mcboogerballs awoke to find his -- Ew!
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No, no!That's just wrong!
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Well?
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This is -- This is pulitzer prize stuff.
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If i'm going down somebody has to go down with me!
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It's gonna blow!
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We've all read the book now,
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That this is one of the of the best books we've ever read!
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Hey, wait a minute. That's ours!
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And it is also being called literary genius.
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And has been translated into 26 languages.
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Butters, what the fuck do you think you're doing?
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Butters doesn't deserve any credit for scrotie mcboogerballs!
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I've learned you're nothin' but phonies!
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And has now spawned tvs most popular game show!
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Who is mentioned 465 times.
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Joining us now is the author of the book, leopold stotch,
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I have to come right to my room after school.
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Sorry.
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Kill ronald reagan, kill ronald reagan!
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This book is nothing, but smut and vulgari
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That is such a simplistic view.
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No writer would take the time to make fun of sarah jessica parker
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And we can't -- What?
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The artist has announced that he is working on a second novel,
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Will it be as sick and disgusting as your first book.
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It's .
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We don't have to kill her.
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People waiting for their turn to get inside the book store and read the novel.
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Of the first five chapters of the book here live in our studio!
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Douglas had to poop.
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I like poop.
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[
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We don't have to do this!
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As poop came out his wiener in a long, thin strip.
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And so, when the pee got mixed with the poop it smelled like a butt.
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But it's like he's gone back to his roots.
Aired 10 years ago - Mar 17, 2010

The nation's top scientists come together to put a stop to the recent phenomenon of rich, successful men who suddenly want to have sex with many, many women. After extensive testing, some of the fourth grade boys in South Park Elementary are diagnosed as sex addicts.

Recap of South Park Season 14 Episode 1 (S14E01) - 1
Ofcourse, we all know the normal healthy male thinks only of sex occasionally and has no desire for sex with multiple partners.
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The mere sight of an attractive woman can... can make him think about sex with her.
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If so, then the disease could start to affect our children.
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It won't take long, and will be relatively painless, but we need to see if any students are showing symptoms.
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Jesus, dude.
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Now, what color was the handkerchief in the nice lady's hand?
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Gee wiz, it was like almost up to her belly button.
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Ah ha.
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Oh no!
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Why does it look like that?
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Autoerotic asphyxiation.
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Oh no. I don't wanna have to buy a Batman costume!
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By sixth grade, the number goes up to 30%!
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And so these infected boys will soon be secretly wishing they could be having sex all the time with lots of different people?
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In adult males, for whatever reason, sex addiction only seems to be problematic amongst rich, successful celebrities.
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But such a tide as moving seems asleep, too full for sound and foam, when that which drew from out the boundless deep.
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Butters, Butters, stop it!
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Oh god!
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You mother fucker! I never should have married you!
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- How'd you do that? - Hit A and X together.
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Alright, sex addict. What other destructive behaviors did we engage in, which lead to our ultimate downfall?
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What else? Mr. Clinton?
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Now, the reason we are making this list is that we have new members today!
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I'm so scared. I haven't even told my mom yet.
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Mr. Duchovny please stop jerking off.
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An average, normal adult male. Blending in seamlessly with the others.
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Very good! You are all here in therapy because you got CAUGHT!
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We have to take responsibility for our actions.
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Mr. President, in every test the results were the same.
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Because we've learned that sex addicts will find ways to make money and become successful in order to feed their addiction.
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We tried to find something in hundred dollar bills that could explain why this is happening now.
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Gentlemen, I might know what's causing the sex addiction outbreak.
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They carried a virus with them, a virus that apparently was only barely stopped from spreading all over the country.
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She has shown nothing but grace and poise...
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Is Kyle still at sex addiction therapy?
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Don't worry. As soon as it's dead, everything will make sense.
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Yes! It explains everything!
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We all know what's going on here, don't we?
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I mean, look where we are! Even... even Benjamin Franklin screwed everything that moved, because he could.
Recap of South Park Season 14 Episode 1 (S14E01) - 48
We have a turd in the punch bowl.
Recap of South Park Season 14 Episode 1 (S14E01) - 49
By all accounts the alien is also a wizard who could very easily be the cause of the outbreak of sex addiction in our country!
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Son we were told that you think sex addition can be controlled that it just takes restraint. Is that true?