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Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central
SEASON
EPISODE

Season 18

Aired 9 years ago - Dec 10, 2014

Still burning over Ike calling him a Grandpa, Kyle teams up with some heavy hitters in the entertainment industry to create the most extravagant televised Holiday Spectacular ever. He’s sure that this event will be just the thing to bring families together again. Meanwhile, multiple holograms are still on the loose in South Park.

Recap of South Park Season 18 Episode 10 (S18E10) - 1
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Who's the famous artist?
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But these people have something much darker planned.
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He appears to be just a hologram, sir.
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Who did?
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it's the holiday television event of the season,
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Tom Hanks, Lorde,
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to bring families together.
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That son of a bitch.
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so far, the holiday special is trending fine,
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to end all holiday specials.
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No, it's not good. It's fucking awesome!
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These guys are such blumkin catchers.
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I'll put it in the report he's mylar brown.
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They're gong to make a big holiday special.
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The bastards always talked about a day
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It's ignorant.
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Ike, you are no longer to watch
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and it needs to be stopped.
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Well, a black guy walked into the police station.
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Oh, shit, look out!
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Because you just said "here in my room."
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Why does that matter?
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Then he played live last week, rubbed his clit,
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I'll call the producers of the show.
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Shelly? Who's Shelly?
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I guess... one step at a time.
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That was hard.
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And now, live via hologram, it's Kurt Cobain.
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♪ Yeah, who wouldn't go? ♪
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Trending at 64% and study.
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Um, look, if I could just talk to him real quick.
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Stanley! You leave him out of this!
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They're holograms, so we can't choke them or shoot them.
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Sir, we've got confirmation.
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Oh, brahs. Weak!
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I've never seen trending like this.
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for a holiday special?
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You know what he said to me?
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No matter who else I tried to impress him with,
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Dude, you're such a grandpa.
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♪ Say, what's in this drink? ♪
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What is that window doing outside the holiday special?
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Now we can truly be everywhere.
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Go ahead.
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"I ain't going to kill you, man. You're the king of pop.
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This is about Cartmanbrah, brah.
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I am trending into something more than human.
Aired 9 years ago - Dec 03, 2014

Kyle can’t figure out why Ike and his friends want to watch people comment on things going on around them rather than experience it for themselves. Meanwhile, the Marsh family needs money after Stan spent it all on freemium games so, Randy is forced to perform live to bring in some cash.

Recap of South Park Season 18 Episode 9 (S18E09) - 1
I'm gonna really disappoint people.
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Freemium gaming destroys lives.
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All I wanted was to play one level of "Call of Duty,"
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You used to sit in the living room with family and friends
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More specifically, I'm going to comment
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- Mrphrmhrmphm? - There's Kenny commenting on "Call of Duty."
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You can't not let me go, or I'll hate you forever!
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God, you guys don't understand anything!
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Anything to keep you away from cock magic.
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What the fuck?
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What do you think you're doing?!
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Because of me?
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♪ there's a party going on, and it's all right here ♪
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Have a great show, ladies!
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Just go out there, pump your hips, and rub your clit.
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because you don't have a nice body!
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You're an Internet bullshit artist, Lorde!
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You see? Look at this.
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Oh, my God. Cartmanbra!
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It's best to just make old people think they matter.
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♪ Missy who, who? That's all I do ♪
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Can't help feeling like we're losing something.
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where the celebrities they look up to most
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Please welcome Cartmanbra.
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And why do you think young people...
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♪ Lorde, Lorde ♪
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♪ but that'd be nice 'cause that'd be nice fantasy ♪
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Uh, hold on. Hang on.
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Ooh!
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I was told to.
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through a Freemium game,
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The living room is dying.
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You're blowing up Twitter
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I'm gonna tell people the truth.
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You're heading up to the mountains, too, huh?
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Well, you must have a favorite kind of prey.
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Can we please stop talking? Please?
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to track the hologram's location.
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but perhaps the best thing to stop a hologram...
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The hologram of Michael Jackson is on the loose.
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Uh-oh. Looks like Kyle's taking issue with something again.
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Oh, really?
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I'm not interested in being talked out of ending this.
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just something for people to comment on.
Aired 9 years ago - Nov 19, 2014

Kenny excels at playing the game, Magic: The Gathering. He has the boys’ full attention until a new, hard-core activity gets in the way. When Wendy tries to get Stan to pay attention to what she’s doing, she realizes that what he does with his guy friends always comes first.

Recap of South Park Season 18 Episode 8 (S18E08) - 1
brutality, go here. This is the underground stuff, so keep it quiet.
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What's exciting and hard-core about city shrimp?
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Five dara?!
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More mana from scrambles. And, yes, that is crippling
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The mana is flying now, as both roosters play sorcery spells!
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- Hell, yeah! - What's the matter, Kenny?
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- pretty hard. - Yeah. Maybe that's just kind of what they do naturally.
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Come on. Where's that smile? Where's that smile, Kenny?
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- What's cock magic? - Right.
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Care to tell us where the cock-magic fights are being held?
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legendary creature cards? It's illegal, and it's wrong. And anyone I find involved with
Recap of South Park Season 18 Episode 8 (S18E08) - 13
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Dad, that's not... hat's not cock magic.
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- roosters! - We aren't cops or anything.
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Well, your New Hampshire broiler chickens are the best for white mana.
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mind being made to play The gathering"?
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Hey, how about this little guy?
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Wow. Did you hear him, Kenny?
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- Randy, what are you doing?! - Nothing, Sharon!
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- No, no, no, no, no, no, no. - Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
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and even our son is discovering what cock magic has to offer.
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Reuben casts silklash spider. Silklash spider can block as if it had flying.
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- Quiet, please. - Wait!
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That was goddamn manly. I mean, no offense to Kenny, but
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Yes. And I'm not talking about the basement of some seedy Chinese
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You hear that, McNuggets? You're going to the big leagues.
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Hey, kids, are we having fun? Where'd my hat go? Anyone seen my hat?
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God! Can somebody help?! Please!
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amazingly Randy. Thank you.
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- Yeah. You got to know people. - Dang it. I wish I knew people.
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Jesus. Give it a rest already.
Recap of South Park Season 18 Episode 8 (S18E08) - 33
The girls wanted to say something,
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Dude, Wendy plays volleyball. Did you know that? I don't think you knew that.
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And what about the cock magic. Where was that?
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I get it now. Do you know what the penalty is for calling in a false
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Please! Don't take me away from my child!
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For the next round, it is Gadnuk, Breaker of worlds, versus Clucky.
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Dude, he's, like, a beast. He's got more legendary creature
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That thing isn't human!
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Holy shit, dude! Dude, we forfeit! We forfeit!
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The fight we were expecting, of course... Gadnuk, breaker of worlds, versus 10-month-old
Recap of South Park Season 18 Episode 8 (S18E08) - 44
Never a dull moment in the illegal sport of cock magic. Let's rejoin the battle now as
Recap of South Park Season 18 Episode 8 (S18E08) - 45
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- He just had to shuffle it. - Did you hear that? He's shuffling the deck already.
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to the graveyard. He's desperate now. Not too much he can... And
Recap of South Park Season 18 Episode 8 (S18E08) - 48
absolute savagery! Frenzied goblin has been sent to the graveyard, and now there is
Recap of South Park Season 18 Episode 8 (S18E08) - 49
Well, well. Looks like I finally caught the big boys.
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the incomparable, the beautiful, the amazingly Randy.
Aired 9 years ago - Nov 12, 2014

Butters is convinced that he’s living in a virtual reality. When he suddenly goes rogue and wreaks havoc at home and all over South Park, everyone struggles to figure out what’s real.

Recap of South Park Season 18 Episode 7 (S18E07) - 1
- Well, not 100%. - Even 10% is good enough.
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Digital malcontent now at
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Going now!
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Almost done with this level, Butters.
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This is the part where you collect the money.
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Are you heading back, Butters? Butters?
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Hello, dad! It's me... Butters!
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- the access point now. - I feel amazing!
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Whoa! I'm in the car now!
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- Take that, you dumb hooker! - What you doing, [Bleep]
Recap of South Park Season 18 Episode 7 (S18E07) - 11
What the hell? What hell is that?!
Recap of South Park Season 18 Episode 7 (S18E07) - 12
- virtual reality. - No, you actually got stabbed
Recap of South Park Season 18 Episode 7 (S18E07) - 13
- Butters. - Aah!
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I told you never to take the headset off outside the access
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- things aren't what they seem. - Aah! Okay, stop! Stop!
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Everything okay in here?
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our virtual headsets, and on behalf of the company, I would
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you're in a coma-like trance, my friend.
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Guys, tell him you're not computer programs.
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you with your new toy, but mommy thought maybe you needed to eat.
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- the phone or computer! - Please!
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- Are you [Bleep] with me? - What? What do you mean?
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Well, guess what, Butters. If I'm the one trapped in
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I asked my dad why I was being grounded, and he said that for
Recap of South Park Season 18 Episode 7 (S18E07) - 28
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You hear that, fatso? You're going to the hospital!
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There is nothing we can do. All right.
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went and checked on him, and he's in a coma, wearing your headset.
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The headset we sold you are having some minor problems.
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Oh, [Bleep] you.
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Uh, let's see. Uh, it looks like one of you is
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You're cool, Eric. You're cool.
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- impossible. - Okay, Kyle.
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of us needed to put on the headset and come get you, and
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the VR headset on.
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You've been in the virtual space all along, Kyle.
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Thanks for calling best buy. How can I direct your call?
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Too bad Butters won't be enjoying it.
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It's strange. I don't recall him really doing
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Is this my virtual reality or Cartman's virtual reality?
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Hello? My friend? My friend, I believe we are
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comprehend, but none of what you are seeing is real.
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answered all my questions? No! You have not answered any
Aired 9 years ago - Nov 05, 2014

The kids in “South Park” are playing the new Terrance and Phillip mobile game. Stan is addicted to the latest app to hit the market. Meanwhile, Terrance and Phillip aren’t feeling so good about the fortune they’re making on their new mobile game.

Recap of South Park Season 18 Episode 6 (S18E06) - 1
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are boring and stupid, but if you pay for incentives, you're
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idea of micro-paying with money. Money, money, money, money,
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- I'm sorry. I didn't realize I spent that much. - You didn't realize?
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He knew he'd get in trouble. But it didn't matter.
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Well, and you certainly have some of those problems, too, with drinking.
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based on five principles... Entice the player with a simple
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not to wait. It's a sure-fire way to make
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Your checks, of course, for $10 million American, each.
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I unlocked a stadium in Toronto.
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Come on. Just try it out.
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You need to stop recommending that app to people.
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- They pay me to! - Who?
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It seems dishonest, and we have a brand to protect.
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billions of dollars we are making and we start a campaign
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Drink more. Expensive cars.
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Sound familiar? All the little sounds and lights
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What is the joy that this stuff possibly brings you?
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I can stop. I just like playing it, but I
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Is it my responsibility what people decide to do with their
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You give it away for free. You give away a little taste,
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gems, the sounds they made when I got new ones.
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Why do you think freemium games send you those text
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Come on, guy!
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- Free? - What is wrong with you, Stan?
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- No. No, it's not. - You need to realize that you
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it's elegantly cultural.
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it actually isn't even fun anymore.
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Trust me, I know. I'm an addict, too.
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"Terrance and Phillip hire pushers to make money off addicts." I tweeted it.
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wrong with knowingly making it appeal to human weaknesses!
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percentage of people who download freemium games ever pay
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Here, have a bump of coke.
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It's something kind of dark. Please, help show me the way.
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- I don't understand them. - Then allow me to explain the
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they need dopamine so that they want to consume to reproduce.
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So what does that mean? I can get addicted to everything
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aids. Give me just a sec.
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We're building a new Canada with micropayments from addicts.
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feedback on how to shove this shit right down their throats.
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- Beelzaboot! - You discovered my plan,
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why you need to kind of watch out for addictive stuff.
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- Don't you want more canadough? - What's this?
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No, see, if something's addictive because it's fun, that's one thing.
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soul real quick, kid. Is that all right?
Aired 9 years ago - Oct 29, 2014

Cartman and Butters get their hands on a drone and can’t resist the urge to take it for a spin around the neighborhood. A scandalous invasion of privacy has everyone in South Park on edge.

Recap of South Park Season 18 Episode 5 (S18E05) - 1
I am a drone-hobby enthusiast. I would never use my drone in a
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- I swear I didn't fly it. - Well, these things don't just
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Butters?
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'Sup?
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- mom's bush? - Not if somebody took pictures
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I know, right? Now everyone's gonna see it.
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Tarzan to do some landscaping work for your mom.
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my phone, all right? If the video is only on my phone,
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- like that. - Yes, well, luckily, nobody's
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You know I meant the situation is pretty hairy, right?
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I mean, we all have things about ourselves that are embarrassing
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that close a watch on the whole neighborhood?
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everything up for everybody.
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you want to lecture Kenny about spying?!
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The hobby of flying drones is new and exciting.
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Someone said they'd seen it flying around, so I checked.
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- determine who flew it. - You think I didn't try that?
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God damn it! Get the hell out of here!
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But if we did, we could handle it.
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Help us with the drones spying on us.
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Why can't you leave it alone? Why can't you just stop?!
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this video. "Oh, thank you, Eric.
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from "Hunger Games'" butt-hole. We can either all freak out
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You're supposed to be keeping
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- No! - Shock and outrage all over
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This is a complete outrage to drone owners everywhere.
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candlelight vigil.
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Candles on top of drones are a fire hazard.
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something contrary to the proper code of conduct for drone-flying
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Our drone flew. The battery was drained.
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starting to feel pretty un-enthused about this hobby.
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down and talk to the Mom behind the Bush.
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I mean, it just goes outside what most people would call
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this situation in your town is... unwieldy?
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knowing. At this point, I have completely
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300 million views. So if none of us watched it, who did?
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Oh, hey, Butters. 'Sup?
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I don't want any more discussions, Eric.
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Everyone's sick of it. It's just that everyone's
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of all this, but I swear it's the last time, okay?!
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Aired 9 years ago - Oct 15, 2014

Timmy’s idea to raise money for the summer camp has everyone in South Park trying out the latest trend in transportation. Timmy’s success makes him a lot of enemies and a bloodbath of epic proportions is on the horizon.

Recap of South Park Season 18 Episode 4 (S18E04) - 1
I'm not gonna spend my summer trapped at camp with these
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- We like the tug of war. - All right, well, just keep
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away jobs from honest, hard-working cab drivers, it's
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can use special access points and parking spaces.
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yourselves lose their jobs. That's all.
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try to be better to your customers so that you can
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Offer it last year's Christmas in rocksummer prices?
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Timmy, Timmy. Timmy, Timmy.
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Yeah, we sure did. Let's just say he'll be laid up awhile.
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Let me give you guys a hot news flash.
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trying to save their jobs.
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Timmy.
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I've got an amazing idea. Why don't you let other people
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Now kiss your business goodbye, asshole.
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- Uh, sexual harassment, boss? - It's simple.
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Sure. Would you like to see mine?
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I have a handicap.
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innovator in the world of automotive transport.
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mode of transportation ever created. Any questions?
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I am so sick of hearing about app-based ride sharing!
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from school, delivering both people and things?
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If you're a sheep herder and a snake is killing all your sheep,
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If you're a sheep herder and a snake is killing your sheep,
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Hey, Timmy. How is the fundraising for camp going?
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It would be great publicity for your foundation and for ours.
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which called for a cease-fire to the Wacky Races for their
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Saturday morning, the world will witness the first Wacky Races in
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- There's none left! - Don't you understand?!
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- with handicaps now. - Timmy.
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Way before I got paid to drive one.
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Think what you could do with all that money.
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First off is the lift car, a ride-sharing company out of San Francisco.
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And there's ingenious inventor elon musk in his new Tesla D.
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tricks, there's gonna be a lot of violence today.
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As the Wacky Racers roll down the roadway, we see that the
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the vehicle must successfully deliver her to the destination
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Slow down! I need Timmy to pick up the
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every time you come up with a plan, it kind of backfires on
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The Canadian car overtakes
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The lift car is the first to arrive and pick up the
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is operated right here. What do you think, huh?
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She just got snatched by the pissed off Russian in his taxi.
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- pulling up in third is handicar. - Timmy!
Aired 9 years ago - Oct 08, 2014

Stan is searching for answers about how a person who he’s always known to be one thing could suddenly identify with another. In the meantime, the pressure of holding on to a giant secret is starting to get to Randy.

Recap of South Park Season 18 Episode 3 (S18E03) - 1
Yeah-huh, it means I live a life of torture and confusion because
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You must know why we can't have you in the girls' bathroom.
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But then cisgender is just normal.
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So Eric Cartman just has us in some kind of bathroom checkmate?
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I understand that you had a very large party in your backyard
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Why a hugely popular, top-20 artist would play such a...
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Lorde is an incredibly talented and down-to-earth young lady.
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You know what? You know what?
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Into a private bathroom just for you!
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Cisginger bitch.
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You know, because you've already got A/C over here and
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I had to tell her I just like the way fishnets feel!
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Get back to work and see.
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What do you know about one of our artists, Lorde?
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Huh. Holy shit.
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♪ Lorde Lorde Lorde ♪ ♪ Lorde Lorde Lorde ♪
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"Help me unload the car." ♪ Help me unload ♪
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Oh, oh, this is gonna be so awesome. Ha!
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Yeah, you're gonna open wide. You're gonna take your punishment!
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I understand you work at the... U.S. Geological Survey.
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but she still shows up, usually right after lunch.
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No, I'm not even gonna get it done, I swear.
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Do you mind? This is occupied!
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Because I don't want a chick watching me go poo!
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Do you know your girlfriend's going around telling everyone that you're gay?
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Shelley, that's enough time on your phone.
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There's a guy at work... Hansen. He would use the bathroom and
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enough stalls for everyone. It was so freeing.
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Yeah, the record company messed it all up. It was supposed to go...
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I use this program to import the recordings I make on my phone.
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But it gets even better when I add the drum loops.
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♪ giving giving me the hope ♪ ♪ to go on ♪
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Why don't we just have everyone use the transginger bathroom?
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You wanted to see me, boss?
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Amazing, yeah.
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executive bathroom.
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It's been several days and
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exit and will be releasing a tell-all article about the
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What we have a problem with are cisgingers who are
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You just gonna drink beer alone all day?
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Kids have had pop music artists
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I'd tell her that if people are making fun of her, it's
Aired 9 years ago - Oct 01, 2014

Mr. Mackey is now gluten free and everyone is annoyed when he won’t quit preaching about how great he feels. But, after witnessing a disturbing demonstration of what happens to your body when you do eat gluten, South Park becomes the first town in America to go gluten free.

Recap of South Park Season 18 Episode 2 (S18E02) - 1
I'm just saying that I personally feel so [Bleep] amazing.
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irritability, and nearly all behavioral problems.
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Yeah, how do you make everyone like you?
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For someone that we love who needs us and that we refuse to bail on!
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- Oh, my God, we've got Lorde to play live. - This will be awesome!
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boys who are gearing up to throw the most epic party ever.
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Yeah, and we just... you know, we can't turn our back on him.
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Nope! We're gonna have all the pizza you can eat,
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Excuse me?
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me was eating a sandwich. It's like, "Get your secondhand gluten away from me!"
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position on a healthy diet. There's been a lot of confusion about gluten lately...
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that we now believe is the main culprit of obesity.
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Flour is of course just wheat. And when you add a liquid to flour,
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Huh, heh.
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This stuff will make your dick fly off, Stan!
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All right, come on!
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There's no snacks left, Kyle! They took all the snacks and the
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Son of a bitch! Did you not know or did you just not care? Keee-ya!
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whole wheat bread a just a short time ago.
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All right, listen up!
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- Now all we've got is Lorde. - That's right, we've still got Lorde.
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- You have to get up. -There's nothing left, you guys.
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- Can we come in, please? - Well, sure!
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Shut up! Beer's bad for you?
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- I didn't know it had gluten. - There's always something.
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but they're problematic because they don't relate to our current schematics.
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- but so far, no answers. - Sir, the Feds are here.
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- her Uncle worked with you? - How is your mom?
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You need to get to the USDA, child. They lookin' for a sign.
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They got it wrong, child. The world is upside down.
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We're all out of toppings. There's nothing left to eat.
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I'm crazy hungry!
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This is not a time to party. This is a time to get serious.
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We just think there's more important things right now.
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Why were you doing this party, Stan?
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That is correct, yes, I do.
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All right, next caller is Eric. Are you there, Eric?
Aired 9 years ago - Sep 24, 2014

After Cartman and the boys name their new company, The Washington Redskins, they just sit back and watch the funding roll in. The head coach of the Washington Redskins football team demands that they change the name but Cartman digs in his heels. The Washington Redskins may never mean the same thing ever again.

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Washington Redskins.
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Yeah but maybe we need a name that's more affirming.
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I told you guys, Washington Redskins' totally gets people attention.
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appeared to be some kind of adolescent prank
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By pledging just one or two dollars
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I'm the president and owner of the Washington Redskins.
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You have no right to use our name to get attention.
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We are a proud team, Mr. Cartman.
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I know I can't legally make you stop using our name, but,
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The Internet start-up company has raised so much money on KickStarter,
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there's a people here, okay, who are not happy about the use of the name.
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Guys, we need to talk to you.
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is what the Washington Redskins are all about. Now come on guys!
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You take a moral stand on issues,
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- And it's most likely going to be Butters. - Oh, no!
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I don't want to. It's a stupid name!
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I don't know, I... But I don't know if my future is with this company either.
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Is the league just going to sit by while my team and my players
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- and add expertise to our team. - That's the most ridiculous,
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- Aww this thing is broken. - We can add, and we will do
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This stupid thing isn't working!
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If the Goodell-bot is broken we must stay out of it more than even usual.
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Begin mass behind-the-scenes-under-the-table enforcement of our wishes, now!
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[Bleep] you out there. [Bleep] you.
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is the most exciting. As you know, the Redskins have been on the forefront
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We all added a new rug. That goes better with our office drapes.
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change our logo it should be more in step with the day's times.
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they will immediately think titties and balls.
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- Yeah. - You okay, bro?
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- seven words in its title. - What do you mean?
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It's just incredible, Harry. Everyone is using KickStarter for everything.
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and see how much our company made in four, three, two, one...
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Come on, I wanna know how much our company is worth.
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Kyle!
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that our company was more successful than yours would ever be.
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And we are not gonna let anything stop us from getting to bro down.
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Yes, we do! We have a sweet name.
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It is really sweet.
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but here at Washington Redskins we saw opportunity.
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It is the biggest [Bleep] you, we have ever come up with.
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set to take on the Washington Redskins. That is, of course
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- Those Redskins. - Yeah, whatever.