Aired 13 years ago - Nov 14, 2007
The girls in the fourth grade class have made a secret list that rates every boy's looks from cutest to ugliest. When the boys steal the list, they are completely unprepared to deal with the results.
Primarily that girls do not have balls.
- They sure don't.
It's listed in order from cutest to ugliest.
Clyde's number one.
Oh boy! I'm number 11!
Whoopie! Number 11!
And last is Francis, Cartman, and...
Cartman, lay off! You're next to last.
- So? I'm hotter than Kyle.
Mom, Dad! I'm not the ugliest kid
in the class! Kyle Broflovski is!
The girls at school. They made
a list and voted me the ugliest boy.
Oh God! I do?
You all think I'm ugly. Jesus Christ,
the least you could have done is told me!
Dude, Kyle. Can you hear me?
Hey, what's going on?
Hey, what's going on?
- Hey Clyde.
Hey, Kyle. Look man, it doesn't
matter what people think, okay?
Butters, that's not cool, man.
He can't help how he looks.
Wendy. Could I talk to you?
- Of course, Stan.
Look, it really messed Kyle up, okay?
How could you vote him the ugliest?
Can't we just talk to all the girls who made
the list and find out why they voted Kyle last?
If it pleases and sparkles I suggest
we continue deliberations on List 47D:
I would like to submit that Jennifer's
purse is by far the cutest.
Let me assure you that no list
is made hastily by this committee!
Who said that?
- I did.
but I am here to show you otherwise.
Come! There is much to see.
Boys told her she was special.
She was funny. She was interesting.
This is the home of your new ugly friend,
Now that he knows he's good-looking, he doesn't
have to make any effort to be special.
and not realize until age 40
that he's a total douche.
Wait a minute. Wait, Stan,
I think I've got something!
All right, you need to stop.
Digging. Around, Wendy!
That didn't sparkle with her, did it?
Okay, is that everything, little boy?
- That should just about do it.
Why would she do that?
- Right after the list was made,
What do you mean? Call the girls in.
- I'm afraid we can't do that, Wendy!
That's why we had to manipulate the votes,
forge a new list and hide the real one!
No. Not Bebe.
Do yourself a favor, Wendy! Just let it go!
And keep your little mouth shut!
We've looked everywhere
and we have to show him something.
Are you happy now, God?!
You made me look like this!
Aired 13 years ago - Nov 07, 2007
Stan and Kyle become obsessed with Guitar Hero to the point where they're breaking high score records. It doesn't take long for Stan to realize that he could go even further with a different partner. Will the stress of being a rock star get to Stan now that his best friend is no longer by his side?
Game over! You suck!
You're not rock stars!
This is just a stupid plastic controller!
And I'd like to be your manager.
- Wow, really?
But these boys scored a hundred thousand
points to it on Expert Level in Co-op Mode.
Why don't you come by as
my honorary new artists?
Dude, dude, that's Ron Zappolo
from Channel 4 News!
Dude! Dude, that's Jay Cutler over there!
Quarterback for the Denver Broncos!
Alex, have you seen my wife anywhere?
Dude, we've arrived. We're super,
awesome and cool.
Dude, I totally miffed that middle part.
Did you see that?
You've got real potential, kid.
I have no doubt you can break a million.
But, Kyle and I always play together.
We both chipped in for the game system.
and I hate to see you throw it away because
you're worried about your friend's feelings.
Stan Marsh, this is Thad Jarvis.
Check this out.
Hey dude, how'd it-?
What's going on, Stan?
- Kyle, I was gonna tell you later.
Hey! You're the kid I sold the Guitar Hero
game to. How are you liking it?
you should just buy another game
to kind of ease the stress.
No man. All you do is run through
the pretty forest and chase a big dragon.
Dude, this is awesome.
No way. I hate that bubblegum crap.
You know what?
That's great with me, Thad.
No! Nobody plays Heroin Hero just a little!
You know, you never catch the dragon!
Hey, I know you. You're Kyle Broflovski.
You come in, work around here a little
and maybe you can play it for free.
Catch me. Come on, catch me.
You've gotta pull it together!
- All right, Stan, you've got it, man!
No, I didn't break a million points
and unlock superstardom, all right?
Sure kid. Sure.
Don't know whatever happened to those boys.
I guess they're not playing the game anymore.
Woke up to the sound of pouring rain
Kyle, could I just talk to you
for like five minutes?
Look, Kyle, the game is still set up
at my house and...
I know. I need you.
It was pretty fun, wasn't it?
Aired 13 years ago - Oct 31, 2007
Inside Imaginationland, Stan and Butters engage in the battle of their lives as they fight the army of evil imaginary forces. Meanwhile, Cartman goes all the way to the Supreme Court to get Kyle to suck his balls.
It has hot fudge and whipped cream
and a cherry.
What else goes on a sundae besides
hot fudge,whipped cream, and...
You've done a really good job of getting out
of this bet, but it's finally time to settle.
What powers? I don't understand.
- You are real. You are a creator.
- You just have to focus your mind.
You must believe in Santa!
- Believe in Santa! Right now!
A new terrorist attack seems to have
taken place. This time, in our imagination.
and now our imaginations are running wild.
Is nuking our imagination really prudent?
Mike, does the military have
the authority to nuke our imagination?
Yes, I believe the defendant had to suck
the plaintiff's balls in that case.
Red suit, white beard. Santa!
The Supreme Court has ruled with the military
that imaginary things are officially not real,
So it appears the military is ready
to proceed with its operation,
What is that? Hey!
Get out of here! Leave me alone!
And the government just declared they
aren't technically real, so I was right!
Before this day is over!
You, will, suck my balls!
We need more spinach for Popeye!
Now you see your potential, young creator.
No nukes in our imagination, bro!
What's going on here?
We make holes in teeth!
His powers are getting stronger.
We might just have a chance here.
Nevermind! The battle is almost won!
We can deal with him later.
The Chosen One?
- Yeah, it turns out I'm the Key.
What the hell do you think you're doing
declaring leprechauns aren't real?!
Yeah and they detract from real things,
What if heaven is imaginary?
We'd be nuking heaven.
Well then, what about Buddha?
- Well of course he's imaginary!
Kyle, what happened?
Whatever it takes,
you have to do it, all right?!
Okay, now hold on, because Superman
is here and he wants to say something.
Missile launch in one minute.
The hell are you doing back here?!
- Listen, you don't have to do this!
Because I think they are real.
And the same could be said of Bugs Bunny
and Superman and Harry Potter.
So in a way, those things are
more realer than any of us.
that I am never sucking your balls,
you got that?!
Aired 13 years ago - Oct 24, 2007
Stan and Kyle are being held captive at the Pentagon until they tell the government exactly how they got into Imaginationland. Elsewhere, Cartman will not give up his quest to make Kyle follow through on their bet to suck his balls.
We've suspected that the Chinese government
was working on a doorway to the imagination.
Tom! That's super-secret.
- Oh, I'm sorry sir.
That was sarcasm. I was
being sarcastic, you fucking idiot?!
because we had a bet that if I could
prove leprechauns were real
And I'm running out of time.
to build a doorway into the imagination.
It is called "Project Imagination Doorway."
But we're close, sir. We're real close.
Song? You didn't say anything
about a song before.
No, no dude, it went up there.
Mayor, what are we supposed to do?
Mayor, what are we supposed to do,
We are free!
Now all of Imaginationland is ours!
Who put you in charge, Krueger?!
I am the most evil character here!
What evil imaginary characters are they?
And then rape their bodies so we
can use their blood as lubricant?
Where is he?! What is going on?!
It was started in the Sixties as
a secret government project. Right.
All right, that's enough! We've still
got a lot of work to do, people!
What was that?
- Over here.
Oh my God! Snarf.
Hey! I know! Let's all pee in
her empty eye socket!
But we've got to have AIDS before
we pee in her eyesocket!
All right, men. We don't know what you'll
experience on the other side of this doorway,
Yes, but you were in that one movie
that was kinda like this.
Let me see that!
Well we're here now, that's all that matters.
Oh jeez, I'm sorry, Kyle. It's just that
I'm so completely bored by this story.
No, I'm serious! I wanna see what's
happening downstairs, so let's just do it!
Kurt Russell, can I get a comm check?
- Check 1, 2.
There's lots of big mushrooms, colorful
grass, some castles in the distance.
Aw, an imaginary talking squirrel.
They seem to be Christmas critters.
Well hello. Yes, hi.
Kurt Russell, what's going on?!
I was thinking of using a high-speed shutter
with a low depth of field. What do you think?
Or are you just gonna try and focus on how
rough and salty my balls feel in your mouth?
Everyone to the main hall now!
- No! Goddamnit, no!
And I'm Snarf. Snarf, snarf snarf snarf.
So you came from the real world at
precisely the same time as the terrorists!
Something is coming through
the gate from the other side.
Oh! No, no wait!
It's like a half bear, half manpig!
Fellow Council, these are indeed dark times.
Aired 13 years ago - Oct 17, 2007
When the entire contents of the world's imagination lay open before them, Stan and Kyle step right in. Back in South Park, Cartman swears he's seen a leprechaun.
Where'd he go?
Kyle, leprechauns aren't real. You're almost nine now;
Hello, Mr. Broflovski, Ike.
You signed an agreement, Kyle!!
And there was a leprechaun! You saw it, Kyle!!
I didn't think there would actually be a leprechaun! And I still don't!
How would you like to be a cowboy? Or a swashbuckling pirate?
What say we all take a ride on my... Imagination Flying Machine?
Some people feel imagination isn't real,
Imagination... Imagination... Imagination...
It's where all the wonderful and goofy things
Shitishens of Imaginationland!
Now, good news, everyone!
Yeah! How'd you know?
Yesterday, at approximately 18:00 hours,
We've intercepted this videotape the terrorists made for broadcast.
Later in the video we can see another imaginary hostage;
This is the price you pay, America!
Gentlemen, the terrorists appear to have complete control of our imagination.
sign a contract, and yet, to date,
I want what I'm entitled to!
You creative filmmakers can think of idea we just can't.
But they're actually werewolves? From the future?
How about we make everyone think that terrorists attacked us?
and then we have a meteor go CROSSHH!
Somebody who doesn't fit Imaginationland. Ohhh!
I want digital imaging and resource magnification done stat!
Uh, excuse me? Uh Mr. Terrorist, sir?
They're going something to Rockety Rocket.
The wall which separates the evil side of Imaginationland from the good side!
Aired 13 years ago - Oct 10, 2007
Stan's dad becomes South Park's home-town hero when the guys down at the local bar see the size of his most recent crap. Randy contacts a society that keeps track of the world record, thinking his masterpiece would definitely be a contender.
It was honestly, the biggest crap anyone has ever taken. Ever.
It was the biggest in the history of the world, I think.
You wanna see it?
That uh, a little bigger than your brother's there, Gerald?
Randy Marsh! - Aw crap!
The biggest crap?
You need to call the European Fecal Standards and Measurements Office in Zurich.
I believe I detect some cabbage as well? - Oh yes, I had a lot of kim chee.
Your crap officially weighs, 8.6 Courics. - Courics?
You are the new world's champion! - Really?!
and let him know his record has just been broken.
What?! That's impossible! How big was it?
to bring home the distinguished EFSM medal for biggest crap ever taken.
Thank you, Senator. For over a hundred years, the European Fecal Standards and Meas-
Could we play the tape on the big screen, please?
For years it has been my honor to try and bring focus to the needs in Africa.
As you can see, it is one solid piece. It is my biggest crap to date.
Congratulations to Bono!
Gee, thanks a lot, Dad. - You're welcome.
You hear that, Stan? Mom says lasagna is ready!
Randy, this is ridiculous! - Oh, that's real mature, Sharon!
You don't understand, Mom. You just don't understand.
Because he's Bono, that's why. - But he could have faked it. It isn't fair!
Hey. Hey that's right.
Is it over, Randy?! We all saw that crap you took!
how big a crap you could have taken!
But first, the record for the world's biggest crap, will it again be broken?
At the same time, some people are questioning Bono's current record entry...
Marsh is attempting to break the record again. We thought you should know.
If he doesn't crap in Zurich, it shouldn't count!
I see the crap now. I can't say for sure, but I, I'd say is about...
They say that Bono is demanding it and that their hands are tied.
Hi, could I speak to Mr. Bono, please? - Mr. Bono, you have a young gentleman caller!
That's kind of what I'm here for. Do you really need the biggest crap record?
I mean, even I have a second-place trophy for most Sports Illustrated subscriptions sold.
I want people to know that I'm worth something. That I matter.
Take it back! Take it back! - I take it back!
Come on, Randy. You have to push!
Look, I first knew something was wrong when I looked at Bono's first award for biggest crap.
Because he is crap. Don't you get it? Bono is not the record holder...
The crap is simply too big, Mr. Marsh. We must perform a Caesarean!
Aired 13 years ago - Oct 03, 2007
Upon discovering Tourette's syndrome, Cartman becomes mad with power. He finds out he has the ability to say whatever he wants without consequence, so he sets up National TV Coverage to take full advantage of his new found life.
The teachers and the principal, they won't
understand that I can't control what I say.
Hey Wendy. DUMB BITCH! Uh, sorry.
Did Cartman just say "shitballs" to the principal?
Ach, augh, I just want you to know
that I can't control it.
Kyle, apparently you missed
the school assembly yesterday,
- Who cares about saying whatever you-?
- Of course, if you want to be Sgt Buzzkill once again,
Okay, so what do we get when
we multiply a negative number-?
Ih if we apply what we've just learned,
we see that all negatives can-
Tampon! Tampon DICKshit!
I want to help your class better
understand this illness. PISS!
Do you have any idea how horrible that is to say?
to see that Tourette's is very real. Piss!
Tourette's is like a cough or a sneeze.
It isn't contagious like some people think.
You see? These kids
can't control their actions.
Piss coming from my ass!
but I only see him at Christmastime now.
Ah I was just trying to...
for making fun of people with disabilities.
And it means a lot that you're standing here
apologizing with your dad and lovely mother.
Oh goodness, 'scuse me.
Jeez, that was a bad one.
You probably know me from To Catch A Predator,
where we bust men looking for sex with children.
It all started when I received this touching letter
from a brave little boy in Colorado.
Livingn with Tourette's: The Eric Cartman Story.
This Saturday on Dateline NBC
I will say ...horrible things on the air.
I WON'T LET YOU DO IT, CARTMAN!
Whatever enters my brain I can
just say without thinking about it.
Thanks, everybody. Suck my balls!
Uhit's okay, Eric.
We understand your illness, m'kay?
Uh, my cousin.
Well all right Eric.
Well good luck on Dateline tonight.
Take a seat, right over there.
Before I just blurted out cool stuff
about Jews being lame and stuff.
You know, one tiiime, I was doin'
a show called "To Catch A Predator".
Be a shame if we had to track you
down and you "shot" "yourself."
I'm Chris Hansen.
I should have never pretended to have
Tourette's Syndrome, but see, ah I get it now.
Please, God, don't make me
embarrass myself on national television.
Hi, are you CuteBilly182?
Okay. Cock! Don't take too long.
Aired 13 years ago - Apr 18, 2007
The number of homeless people in South Park is increasing as they eat, sleep, and beg for change across the town. While the adults try to find creative solutions to deal with the homeless, the boys are trying to figure out a way to solve the problem for good
DUDE, WHAT ARE ALL THESE HOMELESS PEOPLE
DOING IN FRONT OF YOUR HOUSE?
COME ON, THAT CAN'T BE
WHY THEY'RE ALL HERE
I JUST GAVE YOU CHANGE!
I DON'T HAVE ANY CHANGE...
I DON'T HAVE ANY CHANGE!!!
MANY PEOPLE ARE TRAPPED
THROUGHOUT THE TOWN
YOU GOT ANY CHANGE, SIR?
IT'S COMPLETELY OVERRUN WITH THESE THINGS
NO SIGN OF ANYBODY ELSE
DAMMIT! ALL RIGHT
YOU WANT CHANGE
I NEED A LITTLE -- ANYBODY HAVE SOME CHANGE?
OH, MY GOD
IF YOU CAN GIVE ME SKATEBOARD
I TRY TO ??? SAVE THOES PEOPLE
I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND
HOW THE HOMELESS FUNCTION
ONE WOMAN HERE IS PREGNANT
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT
SEE? EVERYTHING IS THERE
THEY NEED IT IN ORDER
TO KEEP THEM MOVING
I'LL BE ALRIGHT
SORRY TO TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT
NO, NO, DAMMIT
I'M CALLING MY WIFE
WE JUST CAME TO ASK A QUESTION
THE KID WHO JUMPED 30 HOMELESS
PEOPLE ON A SKATEBOARD?
KYLE, KNOCK IT OFF
AT FIRST, THERE WERE ONLY A FEW
OF THEM ASKING FOR CHANGE
SLEEPING IN THE PARKS
AND THEN WE WOULD HAVE NO IDEA
WHO WAS HOMELESS AND WHO WASN'T
SO I HAD TO BURN HER IN HER BED
WHILE SHE SLEPT
YOU JUST SENT ALL YOUR HOMELESS
TO SOUTH PARK
RIGHT, BUT WE SURVIVED
KRISTINE, I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU
WE GONNA SAVE OUR PARENTS
BEFORE THEY ALL KILL EACH OTHER
Aired 13 years ago - Apr 11, 2007
Once again Ms. Garrison gets dumped, but this time she decides to take it out on her fourth grade class. When the boys have finally had enough of their teacher's erratic mood swings and excessive homework assignments, they find out that there are
people-for-hire that can help out in any situation. Meanwhile, Ms. Garrison is finding life without men has its upsides.
How come I've never seen
you down at the girl bar?
Janet, I'm really sorry.
It's just that at the gym
I mean... really I don't even understand
Could I... maybe kiss you?
and his job is to catch the feesh,
He catches the feesh so,
then he can make money.
- All right!
- Okay, let's have 'em.
my ese back home, my ese in Denver,
that you might find shocking.
then we... scissored all night long.
Scissoring me with your eyes.
You kicked me right in the pussy!
They're closing down the bar. For good!
We aren't going anywhere!
You're a lesbian now?
I'm sorry, but my hands are tied.
- What are we supposed to do, Janet?
- We stand and fight!
as one girl bar after
another gets shut dowwwwwn!
that when this place
becomes another Club Persh,
My boss wants you to know that you will
not be discriminated against in any way.
By kicking the Persian messenger in the
balls, the lesbos had sent a message.
Lesbians! Stand aside.
We're coming in to redecorate it!
Lesbos! Remember this day!
Finally the Persians grew tired,
The Persians who did not go shopping
with customized Gucci accessories which
only a Persian would think was cool.
I am so seriously pissed off right now.
I could bust a testicle.
The way we kept those Persians
from takin' over our bar was Les-tastic.
Hey, that's a great idea, Betsy.
We need somebody working on the inside.
Sure they do.
and see what you can find out.
The address is in there too.
Outside, Lesbo lookouts kept watch,
ready to alert the others.
In order to keep her Lesbos awake,
she had no choice:
No wait, wait! That's not the Persians,
it's the Mexicans.
No, but we did find out a kind
of secret about the Persian in charge.
Aired 13 years ago - Apr 04, 2007
Stan wants to know the real reason kids have to decorate eggs for Easter, and what, if anything eggs and bunnies have to do with Jesus dying for his sins. To get to the bottom of it, Kyle and Stan get wrapped up in a bizarre society that guards a legendary secret.
Dad! There's Easter bunnies chasing me!
Why were those other
rabbit guys chasing me?!
The secret of Easter that we protect
when my son would be
brought into the society.
We're going to a distant location,
- Heh heh hey, look at you!
- Hey everybody.
Tonight, we determine if a new member
is worthy of protecting the Secret.
In suspiratoreum, lepus in re sanctum.
It was there that-
Dude, they took my Dad away.
They even shot one of his fellow hares.
Sorry boys, it's a little
late for me to be giving lectures.
The Hare Club For Men
has been around for centuries.
Look to Jesus' right.
so he painted him as a man,
but left clues. Look closely.
Because Jesus knew no one man
You must admit you
are wrong or burn in hell!
well, I'd probably tell you
because I don't wanna be here anymore.
No! No, you bunny-hating bastards!
Don't do this!
Mr. Teabag! Get out!
Here, hold this.
As Holy Saturday comes to an end,
the Easter vigil at the Vatican begins.
Bill, this seems extreme.
Yes, hand it over!
- You said "hand over the bunny."
it was a double cross!
I have the power of resurrection.
Or have you forgotten?
St. Peter was a rabbit.
And a rabbit should be Pope.
You are no longer able to
fulfill your duties to the Lord!
A strange turn of events
here at the Vatican:
If I die I can resurrect
outside the bars.
Aired 13 years ago - Mar 28, 2007
The citizens of South Park are gearing up for the arrrival of Hillary Clinton for a big campaign rally. Meanwhile, Cartman suspects that a new Muslim student is involved in a possible terrorist attack. Every minute counts for Cartman as he uses his
own interrogation methods on his suspect. But could the plan to target Clinton be just the tip of the iceberg?
What doesn't follow?
- Why would a terrorist just blow up a school?
There's a Hillary Clinton campaign rally.
He just showed up out of the blue! I need
to speak with the President right away!
- President Bush, this is Eric Cartman!
Ms. Clinton, we just received word of a
possible terrorist attack on your rally today.
I don't know how much they know,
but security has been heightened.
We detonate the bomb within the hour.
His parents moved into that
green house on Janice Street.
Okay. Okay, Kyle, let's stay focused here.
Because it is in towns like South Park
that you find the true America!
Come on, find it. Find!
On the education of all children.
and that they have most likely
hidden it in Mrs. Clinton's...
We have reason to believe that Mrs. Clinton
may have a nuclear device up her snatch.
What is going on, Brian?
Yes. If we don't find that detonator, everyone
in the town of South Park is going to die.
Well, we've just arrived in your town.
- Why? Did you find something?
Oh dude, I'm, I'm right next to you.
He had videos on YouTube of every single rally.
- So he's a Hillary Clinton fan.
They claim they don't know anything
about an attack.
They'll find the detonator, Hildog.
Everything is set. We have
the detonator up and running.
We have to find that detonator!
Let me have time with him!
Where is the detonator?!
- What detonator are you ta-
This apartment is being absorbed
by Homeland Security!
You had your shot, now I'm in charge!
Where is your son?!
- She doesn't know either.
Who it Butters?
I'm going to find out where it is!
who's got search engine hits all
over this thing.
Where's the intel from?
- We just read it on Drudge Report.
Oh hey Eric.
Get in the van!
It could be toxic!
We were paid to set up the snuke so that
the real enemy of America could attack!
All right. I'm nearing her snizz now.
Yes, I see...
I see the device!
There's something perched on the snuke's coil.
Sir, I found the Russian's eHarmony account!
It does list an address in South Park!
Yes, but we will be rich.
You are too late!
In three minutes!
Aired 13 years ago - Mar 21, 2007
When a breakout of headlice hits South Park Elementary, Mrs. Garrison refuses to say which child brought the plague to the school. So, Cartman takes it upon himself to find out who it is so the kids can make fun of them. Meanwhile, a louse Travis, is desperate to save his fellow lice from imminent destruction from a conscious world.
Now now, it's all right. We're going to call
your parents and get you to your doctor.
The environment is changing. I believe it
is somehow, reacting to our presence on it.
Huh right, the world is conscious.
It makes perfect sense.
I think we need to put all resources
now into a full investigation
Yeah, that's a pretty bad lice problem there.
Good thing they pulled you out of school.
Use this in the shower.
Your scalp may burn a bit afterwards.
Kelly, I was just thinking about our baby.
I want to name her Hope.
We have to get out of here!
- What it, it's just rain.
Who can tell me what year the war started?
- Wait, so what happened?
Well who was it? It was Kenny, right?
because of the embarassment it
can cause, okay?!
Whoever had the lice, they're dead now!
All right, the person who had head lice
needs to speak up right now
This is exactly what you would do
if they found lice in your hair!
And this is exactly what Kenny would do.
Stand here and say nothing!
- First we have to get out of the forest
Yes! Because maybe we rolled
the dice too many times!
Look, I know I messed up, all right?
But I think you're right.
Just like mosquitoes they leave small traces
of their saliva in the host's bloodstream.
I have no problem taking the test.
I have nothing to hi-hi-hide.
It's real. Real as my love for my unborn baby.
If we make it out of this,
I'd like to be with you.
Sorry to cut the honeymoon short!
What? What are you gonna do to him?
All right, see you there!
Remember, bar of soap and a sock!
Please just hurry to the park!
You have to stop them!
It was a disaster! Disasters happen!
constantly trying to preach that
the world is alive!
Everyone wash Kenny with the soap
and dry him off with the socks!
- I was the one.
Aired 13 years ago - Mar 14, 2007
Butters' dad sends him off to special camp to "Pray the Gay Away" when he believes that his son is bi-curious after catching him in a compromising position with Cartman. Meanwhile, Cartman does his best to retrieve a photo of him in that compromising position before too many people find out about it.
The only way you can cancel it out is to get
Butters to put your wiener in his mouth.
Oh my God! My, my only son, reduced to this!
- You are.
You see, I've just learned
that my son is bi-curious.
There is a special camp where young men
who are confused, like your son
Very funny! I suppose
you really think you got me!
All I have to do is throw away the picture
a tampon in the school cafeteria,
in somebody's lunch.
Well, maybe we will, maybe we won't.
Oh right, like that's possible!
That's right. Like all the campers here, you're
confused and you don't think there's a way out.
Ryan thought he could never change.
Humble yourselves therefore under God's mighty
hand, that he may lift you up. Peter 5:6
We've got another one, room 22.
- Oh, darnit!
I went home to alter the picture of me with
Butters penis in my mouth to look like Kyle
Stan, you're a Jew and Kenny,
you're a Jew! You're all Jews!
With Jesus I can just say no
and not be confused anymore.
Let's hear it for Pastor Phillips, kids!
God wanted me to be a man!
and make you straight.
It's a big deal, okay?! That picture is
my property and I want it back!
It's a picture of me...
And I know that Kyle is gonna show the
picture to everybody during Show and Tell!
are allowed to be seen by the eye?
You know this is strictly forbidden!
That makes you accountabilibuddyable.
by writing scripture for the next four days!
And everyone's gonna laugh at me.
Last time, when Butters spent the night,
I was being really nice to him
so I smiled up at, the camera
and gave like a, thumbs up
But, mom, I've been trying to get the picture
back, but he won't give it to me.
I really want to get better.
What's the matter?
- I think, I think I like you.
There's no other way out, Butters!
We have to kill ourselves!
but apparently your son has a picture of Eric
with another boy's penis in his mouth.
You have nothing to worry about
in school tomorrow.
Well, Eric, there's nothing more
I can do about it.
Do you mind telling me how you managed
to lose your accountabilibuddy?!
Well yeah, but I just don't quite
understand what you're fixing.
Okay Eric, Jesus, calm down.
You can go first.
A simple aspen grove shot
in high-contrast black and white
Don't jump, Bradley! You will
only make god angrier with you!
Aired 13 years ago - Mar 07, 2007
Randy uses the "N" word on live TV and faces public ridicule for it and Stan tries to understand Token's feelings on the subject. Meanwhile, a little person visits South Park Elementary and Cartman can't stop himself from laughing at him.
He is gonna wanna kick your cracker teeth in.
- No, he's not. Is he?
He just blurted out the "N" word,
and it's no big deal, okay?
If you really think it's not a big deal,
then you really are ignorant.
I want to apologize deeply and sincerely
for using the "N" word on Wheel of Fortune.
Well, like anybody else thought it was naggers,
I mean, right?
Apologize. Kiss it.
Jesse Jackson is not
the emporer of black people!
because David is himself a little person.
getting us all to think about what we say.
That words are like bullets
and if you give-
So I said to my wife:
Have y'all seen these navigation systems
in these cars, these days?
I just know that with some one-on-one
time together with this Eric Cartman.
Very well, Mr. Nelson. Stacy,
go ahead and send in Eric Cartman.
Shut your fucking mouth!
- Mr. Nelson!
people just say:
"Hey, there goes that nigger guy."
someone just beat you to it,
but my dream will not die.
You know, after that little person
talked at that assembly the other day.
I've called you here because it's time that we
taught Eric Cartman a lesson, once and for all.
He has to learn his lesson,
you see, words are like bullets.
Now you know how it feels.
You can't to me. Words are like bullets!
And erase, once and for all
my identity as the nigger guy.
I mean I... just wanna move on from what
happened on Wheel of Fortune, you know.
Anyway, here is to a new start
for us all, thank you!
Please, I don't want any trouble.
- Well, you got trouble!
Michael richards, well, son of a bitch.
What is this a nigger guy convention?
You better come with us.
Scott used the plural "N" word to refer to
a group of gardeners who broke his fence.
I got frustrated and thought I
would get some shock laughs.
Oh, they might see your racial slur was more
accidental, they might even laugh about it.
We have a plan to make this all go away,
once and for all.
No, but you can't just pretend
it never happened either.
Hey, come on now!