S1 E13
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Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central
SEASON
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Season 1  "Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut"  1x13

Aired 23 years ago - Feb 25, 1998

Cartman needs to find out who his father is but his mom is no help. Learning that his father could be one of the many people that his mom "had relations" with during an annual party called "The Drunken Barn Dance," he finds that there's more to his mother then he thought.

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Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 1
Thank you, Polly Prissypants. How nice of you.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 2
- Eric is the best. - Hurray for Eric.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 3
- What do you mean? - Has anything troubled him recently?
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 4
- Is that legal? - Oh, hell yes.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 5
- This will be the funniest tape ever. - How much do we need?
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 6
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 7
Yes?
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 8
...sometimes when a man and a woman are attracted to each other...
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 9
Who put his hoo-hoo-dilly in your cha-cha?
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 10
I've never seen a woman drink so much. You're amazing, Miss Cartman.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 11
That's a good cookie.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 12
He was the most beautiful piece of ass I'd ever seen in South Park.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 13
I don't recall the rest of the night...
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 14
I heard he still lives on the Ute reservation outside of town.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 15
Terrance. Phillip. In the harrowing made-for-TV drama...
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 16
Yeah, dude, it looks riveting.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 17
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the guts.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 18
Naive American, Stan. The bear is important to my people.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 19
- Or do I have to steal it? - Go ahead, dude.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 20
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 21
Cartman? Oh, boy, I was worried there for a second.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 22
Your mom was too drunk to remember what happened.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 23
- Chief, I want your hot man-chowder. - Whoa, hello!
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 24
- Could you excuse me for a minute? - You gotta be kidding me.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 25
Care to put your tongue in my mouth?
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 26
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 27
I was just kicking it with some G's on the west side.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 28
Dude, we should be videotaping this. We could make another $ 1 0,000.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 29
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 30
- What's gotten into you? - You're my dad, Chef.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 31
Here, you children sit down and let me explain about where babies come from.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 32
...but he acts like he does to get some action.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 33
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 34
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 35
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 36
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 37
Oh, man, I'm out of here.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 38
No. No. No, God, no!
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 39
- Really, you don't think so? - No, you're not fat.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 40
...when one of our lucky videos qualifies for the $ 1 0,000 grand prize.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 41
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 42
- Garrison? Impossible, he's gay. - I'm not gay!
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 43
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 44
Don't feel too bad, kid. I never knew who my father was either.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 45
I'll take blood from you and everyone here and we can learn who your dad is.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 46
- I'm gonna buy the coolest go-cart. - I'm gonna buy a Walkman.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 47
...but to find out, they have to do DNA tests and they cost $3,000.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 48
- We know how you can get $3,000. - You do?
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 49
- What kind of video did you make? - You'll see.
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 50
Now, our second finalist, "Little Boy Has a Tea Party."

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 2
- Eric is the best. - Hurray for Eric.
#2
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 3
- What do you mean? - Has anything troubled him recently?
#3
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 4
- Is that legal? - Oh, hell yes.
#4
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 5
- This will be the funniest tape ever. - How much do we need?
#5
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 6 #6 Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 7
Yes?
#7
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 8
...sometimes when a man and a woman are attracted to each other...
#8
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 9
Who put his hoo-hoo-dilly in your cha-cha?
#9
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 10
I've never seen a woman drink so much. You're amazing, Miss Cartman.
#10
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 11
That's a good cookie.
#11
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 12
He was the most beautiful piece of ass I'd ever seen in South Park.
#12
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 13
I don't recall the rest of the night...
#13
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 14
I heard he still lives on the Ute reservation outside of town.
#14
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 15
Terrance. Phillip. In the harrowing made-for-TV drama...
#15
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 16
Yeah, dude, it looks riveting.
#16
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 17
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the guts.
#17
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 18
Naive American, Stan. The bear is important to my people.
#18
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 19
- Or do I have to steal it? - Go ahead, dude.
#19
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 20 #20 Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 21
Cartman? Oh, boy, I was worried there for a second.
#21
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 22
Your mom was too drunk to remember what happened.
#22
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 23
- Chief, I want your hot man-chowder. - Whoa, hello!
#23
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 24
- Could you excuse me for a minute? - You gotta be kidding me.
#24
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 25
Care to put your tongue in my mouth?
#25
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 26 #26 Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 27
I was just kicking it with some G's on the west side.
#27
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 28
Dude, we should be videotaping this. We could make another $ 1 0,000.
#28
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 29 #29 Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 30
- What's gotten into you? - You're my dad, Chef.
#30
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 31
Here, you children sit down and let me explain about where babies come from.
#31
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 32
...but he acts like he does to get some action.
#32
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 33 #33 Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 34 #34 Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 35 #35 Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 36 #36 Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 37
Oh, man, I'm out of here.
#37
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 38
No. No. No, God, no!
#38
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 39
- Really, you don't think so? - No, you're not fat.
#39
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 40
...when one of our lucky videos qualifies for the $ 1 0,000 grand prize.
#40
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 41 #41 Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 42
- Garrison? Impossible, he's gay. - I'm not gay!
#42
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 43 #43 Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 44
Don't feel too bad, kid. I never knew who my father was either.
#44
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 45
I'll take blood from you and everyone here and we can learn who your dad is.
#45
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 46
- I'm gonna buy the coolest go-cart. - I'm gonna buy a Walkman.
#46
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 47
...but to find out, they have to do DNA tests and they cost $3,000.
#47
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 48
- We know how you can get $3,000. - You do?
#48
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 49
- What kind of video did you make? - You'll see.
#49
Recap of South Park Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 50
Now, our second finalist, "Little Boy Has a Tea Party."
#50