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Two and a Half Men

S11 E17
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CBS
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Season 11  "Welcome Home, Jake"  11x17

Aired 11 years ago - Mar 13, 2014

Lyndsey finds out about Alan's relationship with Gretchen; Walden has a difficult time telling Barry to find his own place.

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Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 1
Jealous of what? Your role in the Newsies remake?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 2
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 3
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 4
Top of the day to you, too, sir.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 5
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 6
Not-pee-in-the-shower.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 7
Look, I know you're upset about Barry moving in with us.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 8
Here we are, four months later and Jenny's still living with us.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 9
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 10
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 11
- Next one's on you, though. - Absolutely.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 12
I'm Larry's best man and you're his sister.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 13
- Is that true? - Jawohl.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 14
- That's what she said! - That's what he said!
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 15
We're watching a car-chase on the news.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 16
that came over and tied me up and stole my laptop?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 17
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 18
I mean, pizza, lesbians, weed scavenger hunts.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 19
Is this why you're here? To hang out, get high, eat pizza?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 20
what if we filmed lesbians doing stuff to each other?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 21
I will give any of you a hundred dollars.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 22
Okay, okay, I got another idea.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 23
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 24
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 25
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 26
So how was Palm Springs?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 27
What guy doesn't wanna see his best friend bang his sister?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 28
Well, I'm glad you're so excited about this.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 29
That special bottle of champagne we were saving for our wedding?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 30
I pretend I'm a dog, she rescues me, and then I give her my bone.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 31
I will do what I want, with whomever and whenever I want!
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 32
Make a turkey sandwich Make a turkey sandwich
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 33
Suppose someone was living with you and you wanted them to leave.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 34
I'm asking you to move in
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 35
Don't get me wrong. It's not that I don't love having you here.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 36
Well, today's kind of already shot. Maybe pick it up tomorrow?
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 37
He's never moving out.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 38
All right, admit it. You slept with Gretchen.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 39
she lets you lick peanut butter out of a chew-toy between her boobs.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 40
I don't think this place is for me. It just doesn't scream, "Barry."
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 41
- What's going on here? - Nothing. Nothing's going on.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 42
Okay, but my flock is too big.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 43
A real Scared Straight moment here. Let's grab a pizza on the way back.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 44
No, no, I don't wanna be your first!
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 45
But you can't live with me! Now or ever!
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 46
I'm gonna go find Alan! You can't live with me!
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 47
Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 48
Well, luckily, those people are out of our lives now.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 49
- vacations, anniversaries... - Yeah, yeah, yeah, we get it.
 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 50
We were fooling around in the kitchen

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 2 #2 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 3 #3 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 4
Top of the day to you, too, sir.
#4 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 5 #5 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 6
Not-pee-in-the-shower.
#6 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 7
Look, I know you're upset about Barry moving in with us.
#7 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 8
Here we are, four months later and Jenny's still living with us.
#8 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 9 #9 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 10 #10 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 11
- Next one's on you, though. - Absolutely.
#11 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 12
I'm Larry's best man and you're his sister.
#12 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 13
- Is that true? - Jawohl.
#13 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 14
- That's what she said! - That's what he said!
#14 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 15
We're watching a car-chase on the news.
#15 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 16
that came over and tied me up and stole my laptop?
#16 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 17 #17 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 18
I mean, pizza, lesbians, weed scavenger hunts.
#18 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 19
Is this why you're here? To hang out, get high, eat pizza?
#19 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 20
what if we filmed lesbians doing stuff to each other?
#20 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 21
I will give any of you a hundred dollars.
#21 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 22
Okay, okay, I got another idea.
#22 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 23 #23 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 24 #24 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 25 #25 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 26
So how was Palm Springs?
#26 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 27
What guy doesn't wanna see his best friend bang his sister?
#27 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 28
Well, I'm glad you're so excited about this.
#28 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 29
That special bottle of champagne we were saving for our wedding?
#29 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 30
I pretend I'm a dog, she rescues me, and then I give her my bone.
#30 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 31
I will do what I want, with whomever and whenever I want!
#31 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 32
Make a turkey sandwich Make a turkey sandwich
#32 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 33
Suppose someone was living with you and you wanted them to leave.
#33 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 34
I'm asking you to move in
#34 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 35
Don't get me wrong. It's not that I don't love having you here.
#35 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 36
Well, today's kind of already shot. Maybe pick it up tomorrow?
#36 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 37
He's never moving out.
#37 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 38
All right, admit it. You slept with Gretchen.
#38 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 39
she lets you lick peanut butter out of a chew-toy between her boobs.
#39 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 40
I don't think this place is for me. It just doesn't scream, "Barry."
#40 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 41
- What's going on here? - Nothing. Nothing's going on.
#41 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 42
Okay, but my flock is too big.
#42 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 43
A real Scared Straight moment here. Let's grab a pizza on the way back.
#43 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 44
No, no, I don't wanna be your first!
#44 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 45
But you can't live with me! Now or ever!
#45 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 46
I'm gonna go find Alan! You can't live with me!
#46 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 47 #47 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 48
Well, luckily, those people are out of our lives now.
#48 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 49
- vacations, anniversaries... - Yeah, yeah, yeah, we get it.
#49 Recap of Two and a Half Men Season 11 Episode 17 (S11E17) - 50
We were fooling around in the kitchen
#50