Status
Continuing
Next episode
in 12 hours
Airs
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central (US)
SEASON
EPISODE

Season 3

Aired 17 years ago - Jan 12, 2000

The children of South Park are practicing "My Country 'Tis of Thee" for the "4 Million Child Blow," sponsored by Yoko Ono. Mr. Garrison doesn't want to go because his father still lives there. At the concert Stan and Kyle try to figure out a way to "out cool" the kids from New York. Cartman tries to find "the brown noise" and is successful. Stan and Kyle plan against the kids from New York but their scheme goes much too far. MORE -LESS

Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 1
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It's this one pitch, this certain frequency, that makes people loose bowel control!
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That's nice! When I find it, I'll just make you crap yourself
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so you switch personalities to Mr. Hat! M'kay!?
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WHAT DID YOU SAY?!
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- What school are you from? - We're from South Park, Colorado!
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You a freakin' burn victim or something?! What?
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Oh, brother! You guys don't even know what a queef is?
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 17 (S03E17) - 11
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I told y'guys! Here it is, right here! The Brown Noise!
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No! I don't think that will solve any of our problems,
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I have to know why! Right here and now! We're gonna talk about this!
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Let's make up our own word! We can make up a word and then use it,
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You know what you guys are?! You guys are nothing but mung!
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C'mon, guys! Let's get away from these rednecks
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I have some things I really need to talk to you about!
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No! No! If I knew, I would've made him do it!
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No! I didn't know! I'm not listening!
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Remember, if you get lost, just follow along with Mr. Kenny G here!
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STOP! STOP IT! YAMEKIN YODEBA PIECE YOU GOT THERE!
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Uh, my name is Mr. Mackey! I'm your school councilor! M'kay?
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A LITTLE?! Yeah! He thinks if I don't molest him, it means I don't love him!
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but I'm afraid this problem has run very deep through Mr. Garrison's mental state!
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Well, I won't have sex with 'im! - Well, I've said all I can say!
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Am I the only sane person left on earth?!
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- I WANNA DIE! - Goddammit!
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That they should bring back Chicago Hope for another season? Totally!
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Well, c'mon! Tell us about it! We always help each other out! Don't we, fellas?
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Would you have sex with your son to save his life?
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No, no, wait! Uh, you don't understand!
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Well personally, I would have sex with my son to save my mother's life!
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If a killer put a knife to my throat and said:
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Now, all we do is wipe out the last note on their sheet music
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Chip! Did you get revised music for tomorrow?!
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Don't stop, dad! Stop! Wow! Oh, how could you?!
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and try to be a normal family again!
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One, two, sie, pizza!
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NOOOOO!
Aired 17 years ago - Dec 29, 1999

Cartman is convinced he is going through puberty since he started bleeding out of his ass. Dr. Mephisto gives Stan some hormones and he takes the entire bottle. Stan gets facial hair, boobs and his voice starts changing. People are waiting outside of Jesus' home to see what kind of miracle he offers which ends up involving a comeback performance of a very old Rod Stewart and eventually an appearance by God. MORE -LESS

Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 1
So, what happens at the millenium?
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- Is that good?! - I don't know!
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"Offers complete protection during heavy flow".
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We can hang out together on New Year's Eve!
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Well, the way I see, if he really is who he says he is,
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Father, everyone is starting to pay attention to me again because of the new millenium!
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Be ye careful of pride, Jesus! - Just make an appearance!
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Ike, I don't know what to do! All the guys are getting their periods
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Yeah! I could just SAY I got my period! It's not like they'll check!
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Tampon?! What's a tampon?!
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Awesome! We get powers?!
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I don't wanna be the only kid who doesn't get his period before the new year!
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For whatever reason, people are starting to follow me again!
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Good morning, South Park! It's 8 AM and only 2 more days until the new millenium!
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Are you there, God! It's me! Stan! How come you didn't help me?
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I've given it much thought, my children, and you were right!
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we just got Rod Stewart to agree to play a COME-BACK CONCERT AT THE
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 20
For he is Saviour!
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GODDESS MOON!? - I'm here!
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Yeah! I agree! I think that Craig is cooler than Clyde, and Clyde is a dirty dumb fuck!
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Okay! That makes sense! Mine's going swimmingly too! - Mine too!
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because everyone else the same age has gotten their period and this person hasn't!
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I think it might clear things up for you! - Okay!
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And that's my song about the menstral cycle! Stan, did that clear things up for you?
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only periodless eight-year-old boy! I'm gonna do something about it!
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for I am the lamb of God!
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The folks are sure glad you're playing! It's really given them a lot of faith in me again!
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Again?! Now, Mr. Stewart, what did we say about trying to hold in Mr. Dookie?
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 32
Nobody! I mean, uh, well, my dad!
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Yes! Here! Tell you father to take just one of these pills every week!
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So what're we gonna do for New Year's?
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 37
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We just didn't get to him in time! There's nothing we could do!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 39
because they've seen the Backstreet Boys doing it on TV or something!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 40
THE New Year's Eve event is going to happen!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 41
Of course, he is! This is Jesus we're talking about! He wouldn't let us down!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 42
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Hey, Las Vegas is a pretty cool place for us mature people!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 44
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- Alright! Enough of this! Bring out God! - Yeah!
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Let's get'im!
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He doesn't hate YOU! He hates ME! He's gonna let me be crucified again!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 16 (S03E16) - 50
If God answered all our prayers, there'd be nothing left for us to do ourselves!
Aired 17 years ago - Dec 01, 1999

Mr. Hankey introduces 10 musical segments highlighting songs the on the CD "Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics." The boys and all of the other South Park characters sing their own songs for the Holidays and realize that Christmas is all about the presents.

Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 1
Jews play stupid games! Jews! That's why they're lame!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 2
I'll try to make it spin! It fell! I'll try again!
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always win! Keep spinning! Learn to make the dreidel spin!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 5
And when it's dry and ready, with dreidel, I shall EVERYBODY!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 6
Courtney Cox, I love you! You're so hot on that show!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 7
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Hold on to your boot straps, 'cause we're gonna descend down into Hell!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 9
Oh, tannenbaum! Oh, tannenbaum! Die teil chi hein blatter!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 10
Too groo chnid doo noot zamadine! Die knack umvie teri neshenstein!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 11
Oh, Satan! Tu tannenbaum die teil chi hein blatter!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 12
String up the lights and light up the tree!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 13
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It's Christmas time in hell!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 15
Here's a rack to hang the stockings on!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 16
For wone day we all stop burning, and the flames are not so thick!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 17
Wake his mother and ring the bell!
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It's Christmas time! Christmas time! It's Christmas time in hell!
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Bringing good cheer to young and old!
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On do they sing, on without end! Their joyful toungue to every home!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 22
birth of Jesus! So now, here's a more serious
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 23
And ... O holy night! The stars are brightly shining!
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The, something, something, descend!
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Jesus was born and so I get presents! Thank you, Jesus, for being born!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 26
Fall on your knees and hear the angels, something!
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O night divine! O night, o night divine!
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O night divine! O night, o night divine!
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Now, pay attention! Ahem!
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There is no holiday season in India, I've heard!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 32
Hey there, Mr. Hinduist, Merry Fuckin' Christmas!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 33
They pray to several gods and put needles in their skin!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 34
In case you haven't noticed, there's festive things to do!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 35
Merry Fuckin' Christmas to you! Uh, thank you, Mr. Hat!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 36
I saw three ships come sailing in, on Christmas day, on Christmas day!
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was in those ships all three, on Christmas day in the morning!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 38
I told you to shut up!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 39
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Now, please put your hands together and welcome Saint Nicholaus and Jesus Christ!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 41
Joy to the world, for I have come! Let Earth receive...me!
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...and heaven and heaven and nature sing!
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Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn't go! Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn't go!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 44
That's where cute little ol' me-e lay down my sweet head!
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Holy me-e-e, tender and mild! Sleep in heavenly peace!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 47
I know, but there's like three hundred Jesus Christmas songs
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 48
...But the fire is so delightful!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 49
Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow! The fire is slowly dying!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 15 (S03E15) - 50
Aired 17 years ago - Nov 24, 1999

South Park's Civil War reenactment, sponsored by "Jagerminz S'More Flavored Schnapps," gets out of hand. Cartman persuades the drunken lot to defeat the northerners so that he can win a bet with Kyle and Stan that will make them his slaves for one month.

Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 1
so how 'bout if the south wins, you two assholes have to be my slaves for a month!
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The Union army had to get the bell on Aplomaticstown from Temrock Hill!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 4
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- Hey! He took the bell! - He can't do that!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 7
but we have to let the Union army capture the bell this time!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 8
We take that hill, and when we stand tall upon it, we hold our heads high and we yell:
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 9
and for 22 years, this Confederate re-enactors have had to spend
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 10
Alright, folks! Sorry for the false start! We're ready to go again!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 11
Goddammit! What the hell are they doing?!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 12
Surrender your men, General!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 13
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 14
win the war, and the south still didn't win the war, dipshit!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 15
That ain't true! The Confederates would've whooped ass in Topeka too!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 16
You know what?! I'll bet we could take Topeka right now and prove 'em all wrong!
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Men! It's time to show the world what this Confederate army has got!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 18
Oh, what was our bet again?! Let's see!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 19
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I'm afraid I was grading papers pretty late and...
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 21
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Alright, yank! Tell us where you keep your Yaggerman S'more Flavoured Schnapps!
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At Topeka, we're raisin' all kinds of hell, see! Heh!
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We're taking Topeka and now I must rally the men onward to Mossourah,
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- That would suck so much ass! - We have to stop him, dude!
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is making its way across the southern states of America!
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Gonna need s'more s'mores schnapps! I'm gonna be sick!
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Well, I'm joinin' them! Those blanks hurt!
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Hey, there's s'more schnapps! Over here!
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I know how! But, we'll have to wait until dark!
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and although your son appears to be the only casualty of war,
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Ha! Splendid! Then to Fort Supture we shall go!
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- We're out of s'mores schnapps?! - That can't be!
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Where am I?
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We can't go home! We have to take Fort Supture!
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You see, history is forever, and everything happens for a reason!
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Yes, please! Two shots out of my breasts!
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Hey! That sounds fine!
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to drive out the Union occupents of Supture peacefully,
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and one day, you look out and see thousands of confederates ready to pounce on ya!
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Surrender the logement with your hands up!
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No! You can't do that! Our dads are in there!
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Eh'government?!
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so that we may enter into a new millenium of prosperitah!
Aired 17 years ago - Nov 17, 1999

Starvin' Marvin finds an alien ship and begins searching out a new home for his people. The government interrogates the boys to find out about Marvin and direct them to Sally Struthers. Marvin stops in South Park to pick up the boys and take them to the planet Marklar. The Marklarians are willing to let the Ethiopians relocate to their world and the Christian channel does all they can to stop them. MORE -LESS

Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 1
Cyborg Bill hasn't been cool for a long time, Kyle!
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revealed until all Chinpokomon are collected by a Royal Crown Chinpokomaster!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 3
Yeah, but Cyborg Bill is totally gay now!
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because I'm an individual!"! Do you understand?!
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There you go, son! I honestly don't know what you see in these things!
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Down with America!
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Yeah, dude! Don't you know?! It's all about the Chinpokomon video game now!
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I've got to buy them all! So first, I'd better go to Hawaii and visit Pearl Harbor!
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with these dolls talking about bringing down American government doll!
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But, you Americans! Wow! Penis so big! SO BIG PENIS!
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Well, it certainly was nice meeting you folk!
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You are loosing the battle of your life!
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Well, it's not like it's vulgar or violent!
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Jesus-Tap-Dancing-Christ! Get with the program, pal!
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You just wait 'til I get to that Chinpokomon Camp! I'm gonna be the toughest master of them all!
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Hey, kids! nly one more day 'til the Chinpokomon Camp!
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Well, I'm letting Eric go to the camp!
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Sure! Aparently, they've been doing these camps in every city...
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This is Chinpokomon Camp!
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the United States Government!
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Now, it is a great honour to present... your Chinpokoleader!
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It is again time for the rising sun to ship tall in the sky!
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- Tchu hadchi is eighteen, Garison san! - For the last time, my name is not Garison san!
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I tell you, Mayor! These Japaneese are trying to change our American children somehow!
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We are Japan toy company are in all of your large penis!
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What can we possibly do with such small penis?!
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Penis so small!
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- But I think we've already found a solution! - You have?!
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We're going to show you a couple of commercials and you tell us which toy interests you the most!
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Gonna try riding all day long,
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He bowls and drinks! He drinks and bowls! Alabama Man!
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I though I told you to shut up!
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Can't you see what's happening?! They're just using that talk to distract you!
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I know how to get our kids to stop liking Chinpokomon!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 49
The new Japaneese Empiror Hirohito
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which he assured me was nearly microscopic in size.
Aired 17 years ago - Nov 10, 1999

Mrs. Cartman is about to give Eric a present. Of course Eric is hoping it will be some kind of toy, but it ends up being Hooked On Monkey Fonics to help him win the big South Park Annual Spelling Bee. Kyle finds Rebecca Cutswald to be quite intriguing and tries to woo her with his charm and teach her how to love and learn in public school.

Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 1
And so, children, that's why Hare Krishnas are totally gay!
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Hey! That was Kyle that went number two in urinal!
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- Relax, boys! We just need to talk with you! - I told you, fatass!
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Alright, children! We just need to know one thing! Do you know this person?!
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But they're just kids! We can't torture them!
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I'm one with the birds and magic is all I see!
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Wait! It's not a gun! It's a piece of paper!
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In fact, there's a mission right over there that will take all your people in!
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Who is this person?!
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Where can we find her?! - I know exactly where Sally Struthers is!
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I'm warning you, Bill! Sally Struthers is a bit heavy!
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- I think he wants us to get in! - Kickass!
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This is great!
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From now on, you are Michael!
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Joshua?!
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Oh, my God! What the hell is that thing?!
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I am Marklar, leader of the Marklar!
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Well, there is a lot of room on Marklar!
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Your son Marvin has a ship that we want! How can we get it from him?!
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A beautiful lush place called Marklar!
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You'll do nothing of the kind!
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You know, Susan, there, there's so many great missionaries doing work
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One of our missionaries in North Africa has made an amazing discovery!
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What we need, Susan, is we need money to build an Interstellar Cruiser!
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Uh, excuse me, gentlemen! Uh, Tom Brokaw is here to see you!
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seeing as though I am pulitzer prize winning Tom Brokaw!
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Sauring so high above the world!
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You see, an Argon Crystal Laser can pierce thick space holes
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We need to use use your ship to catch those boys!
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and build more advanced deflector shields for our galactic cruiser!
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You started the Feed the Children Foundation for wonderful reasons!
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Miss Struthers! You helped so many people,
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- She bought it! - Sally Struthers is saving us!
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So we're gonna need an Ionic Tractor Disruptor!
Aired 17 years ago - Nov 03, 1999

The kids of South Park discover Chinpokomon, Japan's #1 cool toy to own! Wanting to avoid being losers, they persuade their parents to buy them the toys only to discover that the Chinpokomon are designed to brainwash them into bombing Pearl Harbor. The parents band together to stop Japan and save America!

Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 1
Mary's analysis of the spread sheet was conscientious!
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Alright, Eric! Here's your word: "Chair"!
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- Eric, your word is "Chair"! - Uh, definition?!
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GET OVER HERE, YOU SON OF A BITCH FONICS MONKEY!
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Litoral! Will you please use it in a sentence?!
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Now, we have Kyle Broflovski!
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- You shut up, gay wad! - You shut up, ass logger!
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Dude, what a bunch of freakin' nerdos!
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Mark, you have play time! You get to play in the afternoons!
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You don't wanna go to public school too! Do you, Rebecca?!
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Oh! Well, I suppose so! Rebecca! This little boy wants to see you!
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Alright, children! Let's just try to pretend there isn't a little boy in a huge
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And therefore, your questions is a sharad!
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I do not need to sit here and be ridiculed! I'm gonna go be homeschooled from now on!
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Oh, boy! Sorry, dude! You're on your own!
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Well, if we're gonna let him go back,
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So wha'd'you say we get together?! You really are quite good lookin'! Rebecca!
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I think it would be appropriate for you to talk with your sons
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I would like you to tell him to stop!
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Uh, you want a beer or somethin', Cats-Wild?!
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Attention, students! Don't forget that this friday night
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Yeah, dude! But guys just do that! We rip on each other and stuff!
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Yeah! I wonder how Cartman's doing with his homeschooling!
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Oh, alright!
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Oh! Uh, Rebecca! There's this dance! See?! At the school! And, um...
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- Well, alright! You can go, but I'll be there to supervise! - Alright!
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Uh, alright, Rebecca! But, it's time to start your homeschooling!
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No, no! I mean... go with me! - Oh, I'm sure father will give me a ride!
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Isn't papa's garden beautiful?! He works so hard on it!
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Don't you want to go out?! All you do is stay in your house and study!
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When it is time to increase the heard my provider will select one for me!
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- How do we do it?! - I'm not completely sure!
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Alright! Here's the plan! Tomorrow night at the dance, when none of the
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 46
Alright! Here's the plan! All we gotta do is volunteer to chaparone the dance tomorrow!
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This year, we have a very special guest performing
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 11 (S03E11) - 49
Uh, uh! Sure! Uh, I guess!
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Aired 17 years ago - Oct 27, 1999

Korn comes to South Park for a Halloween gig and learns of the boys problems with the 5th graders at South Park Elementary. Korn agrees to help the boys get revenge on the mean 5th graders all in a spooky Scooby Doo rip off!

Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 1
We could get a big scary plastic spider, and dangle it in front of them on a string
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- Are you sure we're goin' the right way? - I don't know.
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something that begins with the letter R.
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Pirate ghosts!
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Mom? Okay?
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Mom, mom! You wanna see what I want for Christmas?
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He must have a huge bone in his ass, then.
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To be really scary, it would have to be real.
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scare the fifth graders, then put her back before anyone notices she's gone.
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Cartman, will you stop singing Christmas carols?
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- Whoa, dude. - Oh, my God.
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We could shove a stick up her ass and use her like a puppet!
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I was really scared there, for a second.
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road by some super-spooky pirate ghosts.
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I think your music and Halloweenn is an abomination!
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Oh, come on, Kenny! You never have a sweet costume!
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Dug her up? Why?
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and made love to the empty sockets as well.
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leaving her to look something like an over loved hunk of Swiss cheese. She probably...
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 23
so as not to allow further decomposition.
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Maybe I can see what it is. I'll just open one little corner.
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It's Halloween day, so come on down to the docks and bring your costumes!
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"Oh Mother, Antonio Banderas life-sized blow-up doll! What a surprise!"
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- Uuh, problem, guys. - What's the problem?
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digging up bodies to have sex with them. Gentlemen?
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Yes, we know it's horrible. It's probably best you not look at it.
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Noo! Don't go to the docks!
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Oh, hey! The kids from last night.
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but then, something took her body away.
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but a ghost pirate is a ghost that later made a conscious decision to be a pirate.
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Don't you see? This is exactly what those ghost pirates want us to do.
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I hate to say it, but I think Priest Maxi was right. This is what we get
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their potential to overcome those obstacles go that way.
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Devil woshippers!
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Oh, no! I lost my glasses.
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If anything happens to it, my mom will know I opened it early!
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Fieldy, what are you doing?!
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When they hit the super-slippery floor, they'll slide onto this mining cart,
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Yeah. And now let's see who these pirate ghosts really are!
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No! Arrest him!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 50
Aired 18 years ago - Jul 28, 1999

Kyle invites Kenny to join him at Jewbilee, a Boy Scout-like gathering for Jewish kids. His parents are going to attend Mr. Mackey's party. At camp, Ike is sent to join the little group called "Squirts." Kyle and Kenny, join the scouts, where they concentrate on soap sculptures. This art is key to the Jewish elders celebration of Moses however, Moses identifies Kenny as not being Jewish and Kenny is banished from the camp. MORE -LESS

Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 1
We'll be back to pick you up after the meteor shower party, boys!
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I gotta spend all night instructing Squirts!
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Alright! Get to Mashugana Hall! The meeting is already starting!
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on this night of Jewbilee, we all pray to Moses as one!
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I don't believe I've heard of the Anti-Semetic sect of Judaism before!
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Because that's what Squirts do! Now, shut your pie hole!
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and a dull knife! And you can make nifty soap sculptures like these!
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All new inductees raise your hands!
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You don't make a macaroni picture of the last supper at a Jewish camp!
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Then I'll get my Hudhpa badge for sure!
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We should use it to pray to Haymen and enter into a new millenium phase!
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But your synagogue of Anti-Semites is too strange!
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for their petty lives but can't having recently been turned into dust and all!
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That's fuckin' stupid! - It is not stupid, Kenny!
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fill our ears and our hearts respectively.
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We are Squirts! We are Squirts! We're so kosher that it hurts!
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Just close enough to throw the net on the stupid bear!
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Oh, the bear took a squirt! Oh, I'm gonna get it now!
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It's a duck!
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Moses, the Squirts have made you tidings of macaroni pictures.
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Okay! Raise the tray!
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Uh, anything else you want from us, o great leader of the people?
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Hold!
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A Non-Jew has impultrated Jew Scouts and looked upon the face of Moses.
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He's reading from the book of Haymen!
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- Release Moses now! - I don't think so!
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Hold it, Squirts! This is where we'll set our trap!
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and we can spend the rest of the night making bear sandwiches!
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You wanna kill all the squirts?! You can have them! I give up!
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Get the keys and unlock the door!
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Moses is trapped for all eternity in the cock of blind faith!
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"Upon these words, let your spirit come. Inek! Foas".
Aired 18 years ago - Jul 21, 1999

Stan's parents bring him to Mr. Mackey's party, but he gets sent down to the basement to be with the lame kids. Kyle and Stan's fathers experiment with their homosexual tendencies. The ATF is convinced that the meteor shower party is actually a gathering of a religious cult that is going to commit suicide when the meteor shower arrives. Stan tries to save himself and the party from the ATF. MORE -LESS

Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 1
I've never been to England, buuuut I bet the people there are real nice!
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No! I gedda be Jaqueline Smith! See, I thought of Charlie's Angles!
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Here it is! I just had the hot tub put in last week!
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Oh, dear! We're Charlies Angels but we don't have a mission!
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- What do I have to do? - You just godda tell us what our mission is!
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Which Angel am I again?
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That's why I'm gonna smoke this cigar! Only 'cause I've never smoked before!
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Oh, no, no! My name is Sabrina Duncan! Remember! We're playing Charlie's Angles!
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Upstairs? Why, there's ain't nothin upstairs but adults!
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- With two girls or two guys? - Well, two girls, of course!
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Well, I never really wanted to experiment with anything too crazy!
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Okay! So just what is going on here, people?
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Uh, don't worry! We won't let that happen!
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We've tried calling, but there's no answer! I think we're gonna have to move in, sir!
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Hey! I love mai tais!
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Well, lets get back into the party and see what everybody's doing!
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Great party, Mr. Mackey! Thank you so much!
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What? - Do not move or we will forced to shoot...
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Well, that's true! But Elway was the heart of the team! Who's the leader now?
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- Where is he?! - Oh, he lives in... like... Florida!
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So I walked into Mr. Mackey's bedroom, uh, and sure enough! Here it was!
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Oh, dear! We've angered Bosley!
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The ATF had no choice but to shoot the insane couple.
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Oh, my God! Dude! That's this house! They think our parents are the religious cult!
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Yes! Come on, Angles! Looks like we have a new mission!
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I know it's ridiculous, but can't help feeling like people here know!
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Well, of course, I thought it would be implied!
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If you don't get outside right now, and tell those army guys you're not a
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Go back inside and tell everyone that they are surrounded!
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- Oh! Is he? - Who?!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 36
- Hey! Talk to me! - NO!
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I have to make love to you right now!
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They ain't gonna stop until we're all dead, I betcha! House and all our family!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 39
They are refusing to come out and apparently, they still plan to commit
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 40
Oh, sweet Joseph, husband of Mary, but not father of sweet Jesus!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 41
Well... wait! Mary, wife of... Hold on!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 42
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Now, what do we do? - Now, we find a way to get this tape out to the real reporters!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 44
Alright! I'm through trying to reason with them! Send in the negotiator!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 45
You see it? You see it?
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 46
I'm not gonna let you change on me, Randy!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 47
Go back inside and tell the others that they now have one minute to surrender!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 48
I was Audrey Class, Esquire! Scrap Archer!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 49
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 50
- Honey? - God! Everybody's looking at me!
Aired 18 years ago - Jul 14, 1999

Shelly Marsh is babysitting Cartman. Shelly invites her boyfriend over and he in turn invites his band. Cartman has to prove that Shelly has violated the rules. Meanwhile, the Cartman's cat is in heat, searches for a good time and invites all the cats in the neighborhood back to the empty Cartman house for an orgy.

Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 1
You can't hit me! Didn't you see those ninety videos on tv?
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 2
I can't reach the freezer!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 3
having her boyfriend come over, then we'll see who's the turd.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 4
Hey! I need to use the phone!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 5
And now, back to the movie of the week. Aliens.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 6
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 7
You're a turd! You're the turd man of Alcatraz!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 8
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 9
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 10
Quickly and suddenly, the male is finished.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 11
No, Styler! Quit it!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 12
- Beat it, chubby! - Go on, astro turd!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 13
I am not gonna be bossed around by a chick!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 14
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Demons from hell seek the chosen one!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 16
When I make it to the big time, I'm gonna take you shopping
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 17
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 18
That's pleanty of time for me to make a turd sandwich out of you!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 19
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 20
so that she can come home and and save me.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 21
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Ha, ha! That was a turd trick! You're Mom isn't really dead!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 24
and that's why I wrote a letter to the press to be opened in case of my demise!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 25
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Now that we're together, I'm absolutely sure that she's Shelly! Shelly!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 27
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I pledge alligance... to the flag... of the United States...
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 29
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Yeah, Dude! That was hot! This guitar rocks, Man!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 31
No, Styler! I'm embarrassed!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 32
So much pain in the world today!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 33
in a world that's full of turds!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 34
Not really, hon! Mom has to go now! I'll be home in about an hour!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 35
- Dude, this is gay! - Shut up!
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Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 38
They mostly only come every few years! Mostly!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 39
somebody there, somebody that's family,
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 40
You mean it? - But, don't bug me and Styler! C'mon!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 41
Yes, yes! What a beautiful night! It is Saturday the twelveth at 10:45
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 42
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Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 44
Screw you, prude bitch! Me and my bad ass guitar are going home! Hasta!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 45
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 46
I can't believe I trusted him! I'm so stupid!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 47
You're right! He is a scumbag! I wish I can get him back! I just don't know how!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 48
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Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 50
Over here! Please! Come quick!
Aired 18 years ago - Jul 07, 1999

Sexual Harassment Panda visits Mr. Garrison's class. Cartman sues Stan for sexual harassment and Kyle's dad is getting rich. The boys go in search of "Sexual Harassment Panda" to stop the insanity. They find him at "The Island of Misfit Mascots Commune" and convince him to change his cause. He becomes Petey, the "don't sue people" Panda.

Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 1
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 2
What?! Cartman you call people names all the time!
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Alright!! We did it!
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Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 5
you can choose between the green choo-choo or the squishy football.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 6
I think we can get a lot more out of this than half of Stan's belongings.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 7
Of course! And so does Mr. Hat! We do not tollerate sexual harrassment!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 8
Principal Victoria, were you aware that my client was being harrassed at your school?
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 9
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 10
Last, I'd like to bring up my expert witness, Sexual Harrassment Panda!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 11
that IS sexual harrassment. - And who's to blame?
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 12
- Alright! We did it, Eric! - Get down!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 13
Well, Kyle, schools have lots of money.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 14
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You see, Cartman?! You see what this is done?!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 16
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A butt... face?
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 18
Kyle's Dad got me 1.4 million, and he can do it for you too!
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isn't the first way to explain sexual harrassment to children.
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I'm a saaaaad panda!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 23
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Okay, children, let's all take our seats. We have a lot to learn today.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 25
Incrimidate!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 26
Now, let's get back to Ulysses S. Grant if that's okay with you.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 27
Chef, how can we stop all these sexual assment lawsuits?
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 28
Well, I hope you do! Otherwise, it's lumpy potatoes from here on out!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 29
Oh! Please! Don't sue us!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 30
Well, your credentials are very impressive, and you do seem to have a lot of ambition,
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 31
Well, yes! But, that place is for looser mascots that make no sence!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 32
The sexual harrassment case of everyone versus everyone begins tomorrow!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 33
Representing the side of everyone else is Gerald Broflovski!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 34
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We don't take kindly to your types in here!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 36
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panda bear come in here, you gotta go flappin your jaw?
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 38
And Democrats make sexual harrassment laws.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 39
Somebody told us they saw a big panda bear in here.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 40
How come you types are always wearing them funny padded shirts in the winter?
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 41
Well, we don't take kindly to folks who don't take kindly around here!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 42
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everyone has committed a crime here! And everyone must pay for that crime!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 44
Now you boys know not to stare directly into the sun, right?
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 45
Have you seen any panda bears?
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 46
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 47
Hello, Kids! I'm Happy the Don't Do Stuff That Might Irritate Your Inner Ear Badger!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 48
No, you're not, Dude! You're a guy in a panda costume!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 49
A new message that people will find usefull again.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 50
No! He's a whole new panda now! And he's got something to say!
Aired 18 years ago - Jun 23, 1999

The boys take Shop class and try to set-up a fight between Tweek and Craig. Kenny is delighted in safely taking the Home Economics course. When the big fight arrives, the combatants don't know what to do; so Jimbo and Ned teach Tweek boxing and Cartman has Craig instructed in the art of Sumo. Shop teacher Mr. Adler has a recurring dream about a woman that he was never able to say goodbye to. MORE -LESS

Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 1
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- So, do you agree to fight him after school? - I guess so!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 3
I made you some cookies, Richard!
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Oh, why?! Why?!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 5
- Why don't we just raise our bets to TEN dollars?! - You're on, fatass!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 6
It's funny, 'cause Tweek and Craig both went home about fifteen minutes ago!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 7
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- I'm not a chicken! - Well, everyone in the world thinks you are! See ya, Tweek!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 9
Well, that's fine! I guess you don't care about what Tweek said about your mom!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 10
- After Red Racer! - After Red Racer, of course!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 11
It's true! I was!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 12
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 13
- With who? - Some kid! - Oh!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 14
Well, I thought maybe you would at least attempt to make love to me tonight!
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Oh, Richard, it's beautiful! Yes!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 17
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Tweek just weighed in at 48 pounds, Craig at 45!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 19
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try to sneak a peek at his wallet while he pays for you.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 21
but is still getting his degree?
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 22
That's more than ten bucks, you stupid fatass!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 23
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It's all for you.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 25
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- What's happening?! - Tweek's gonna fight Craig! - Oh, cool!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 27
Yeah! If you're gonna do it, do it!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 28
Screw this! We have to postpone the fight so Tweek and Craig can learn how to fight!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 29
- Fine! We'll see you back here tommorrow! - Fine!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 30
It is man at his most man!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 31
C'mon, Tweek! He's only got one arm!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 32
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In Sumo, your body must be like a stone, and your mind like meatloaf!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 34
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There is indeed great power in your ass, Eric!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 36
Don't worry, Richard! I'm a pilot!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 37
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 38
Okay! That was very good, class! Now, let's try this one together!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 39
"I think a trip to Hawaii would really improve our sex life!"
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 40
Okay! Kenny, could I talk to you over here real quick?
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 41
a nice rich man in the future are very... well... good! - They're not?!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 42
Fight?! Oh, no, no, no! Girls!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 43
The spirit of the dragon is in your hand! Hersherdeshurta. Hurlonghurta.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 44
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I can no longer live without her!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 46
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Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 50
Aired 18 years ago - Jun 16, 1999

The boys discover a live prehistoric Jakovasaur while camping on Stark's Pond. The government and the citizens of South Park are interested in trying to help keep this endangered species alive, until they all realize how annoying the Jakovasaurs really are. The only one who really enjoys them is Cartman. The boys try distracting him while the town tries to send the Jakovasaurs to France. MORE -LESS

Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 1
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Yeah, right! You can't talk! Alright! Never mind! I'll do it!
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Do you realize what this means?! We can use its DNA and have a chance
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 5
- Hope! - Yes! Hope!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 6
happened the wounded pigeon you were supposed to take care of?
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 7
Raise your hand if you didn't sleep with that pigeon! Oh, whatever!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 8
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Mom! Somebody's at the door!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 10
Mom! It's another Stark's Pond creature!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 11
But the other jakovasaur talked different!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 12
Will you stop with the whole mom smoking-crack thing?! It's an old joke!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 13
We have to take him to that rancher's barn to see his girlfriend!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 14
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 15
Hello and welcome to Voice Box Express, your number one source of voice boxes.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 16
Excuse me?
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 17
Now, what in the devil is this, thing!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 18
Here with more on the status of the jakovasaurs is department of interior guy!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 19
Hope and Jakov are the last of their kind.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 20
Ya know, there's really only two season here in South Park. Winter and July.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 21
Well, Jakov, we hope this new home inspires you and Hope to uh...
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 22
ALRIGHT, THEN!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 23
Jakov, to have sex, all you need to do is...
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 24
Yes! Yes that's very funny, Jakov!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 25
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YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT?!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 27
The one four miles away in Fairplay has better pretzles!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 28
Don't worry, Hope! Everything's gonna be fine! Just fine! - Just fine! - Fine!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 29
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- I CAN'T! - ME NEITHER!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 33
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Hey, Jakov! How's it going?
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 37
You brought life to this whole town! It would suck without you!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 38
- Now what do we do? - Don't worry! We've come up with a plan!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 39
I have authoritah?!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 40
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 41
OH, NOT SO GOOD! SOMETHING REALLY STRANGE HAPPENED!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 42
YOU'RE A NUT! LET ME SEE THAT LETTER!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 43
FIRST PRIZE IS AN ALL EXPENSE PAID VACATION!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 44
Yes, yes, Jakov! You're calling about the gameshow! Congratualations! Will you do it?
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 45
Meanwhile, we get rid of the jakovasaurs and bring some
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 46
Now, as you know, the winner of this little game will get an all expense
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 47
- You have to wait until I ask the question first! - SORRY!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 48
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We just have to show you this new species, because you're the
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 4 (S03E04) - 50
Cartman, jakovasaurs are making South Park suck! You have to understand that!
Aired 18 years ago - Apr 21, 1999

Kyle and Stan try to rescue Chef from the clutches of the Succubus that he is going to marry. Meanwhile, Cartman deals with his eye problems and the optometrist he doesn't like. Chef's Mama and Papa appear for the first time.

Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 1
Sure gang! I have yellow stuff or white stuff. Dirp!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 2
Chef, what the hell are you doing? We almost starved to death at lunch today.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 3
We eventually came back to my place and really hit it off.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 4
Here she is now. Children, meet my new girlfriend, Veronica.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 5
Sorry boys, looks like I'm stealing Chef away from you.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 6
There's got to be a morning after,
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 7
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You've got a small stigmatism that's causing all the problems.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 10
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Hello and welcome to Steinburg & Burgstein, can I help you?
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 13
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Meaningless sex is fun for twenty or thirty years, but after that, it starts to get old.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 15
You see? Everything's gonna be fine.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 16
- Dude! He bailed on us! - I can't believe it!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 17
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This is so wonderful! Let's sing!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 19
And that children, is what you need to know about the facts of life.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 20
I think you'll find that my advice just as valuable as Chef's, if not more so.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 21
Their evil power makes man blind to love.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 22
Come on guys! We gotta go tell Chef he's in love with a Succubus.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 23
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Say, would you crackers like to hear about the time we saw the Loch Ness monster?
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 26
"Thomas, what on earth is that creature?!"
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 27
- He wanted money? - That's right.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 28
Okay, let's get started. You're here for the liposuction, right?
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 29
And that was the third time we saw the Loch Ness monster.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 30
Raisin oatmeal.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 31
The Loch Ness monster.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 32
Uh, could you just tell Chef we were here.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 33
What happened with Chef? Did you tell him she's a Succubus?
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 34
- A what? - A demon from Hell sent to suck the life out of men.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 35
He wants a life with me because I make him happy.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 36
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Thomas, you're gonna get me going now.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 38
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 39
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 40
Alright guys! That's enough! I have had it with you!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 41
I guess there's nothing we can do. Chef likes her more than us.
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Let him marry Succubus! I wanna go to sleep.
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- That's it! We gotta learn that song backwards. - In three hours.
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And then these aliens had me up on their ship, right. They was probing me and all that.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 46
He said: "treefiddy". And so I realized I that it wasn't no alien,
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Do you Chef take this woman as your lawful wedded wife,
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Aired 18 years ago - Apr 14, 1999

Kenny spontaneously combusts. The mayor asks Randy Marsh to find a solution. The boys try to help Kyle's dad to get an erection. One way they think they can help is by performing the Stations of the Cross at church crucifying Cartman and waiting three days for his res-erection. Randy Marsh figures out the reason everyone is combusting is because they are withholding their farts. MORE -LESS

Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 1
Let's go...
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Good! Boys, how would you like to perform the Stations of the Cross this Friday night?
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I don't know, dude. I'm gonna have to go look in the Bible.
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- Dad, where's our Bible? - Not now, Stan!
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What did he spend his time doing?
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Let's see, Jesus got crucified, then He died, then three days later, He has a resurrection,
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Well I guess you guys can do the Stations of the Cross by yourselves.
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This is stupid. Screw you guys, I'm going home.
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Lord, is it so much to ask that you to not let us suddenly
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Oh Peter, weak.
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you're gonna be the most popular man in South Park.
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Things can not get any more weak for me.
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Thank you, boys. Blessed be the name of Jesus.
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- Okay, cool, see ya Cartman! - Hey, wait, where the hell you going?
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Don't leave me here! You guys!
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Okay, people. Scientist Marsh and I have been working very hard
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the natural processes give off a byproduct known as methane gas.
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You guys, I am seriously... Get me down right now!
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- Hi boys. - Hi Mr. Mackie.
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So you boys understand you have to do that regularly, mmmkay?
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Stinky apples. See ya boys.
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I am? I am, huh! I never knew the depth of my scientific genius until now!
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Science is very im-port-ant.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 30
And Alphonz Mephesto for his seven-assed Galapagos turtle.
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Wow! My dad's the best! All other dads suck compared to my dad!
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Now you die on that cross and get resur-erected before I kick your ass!
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my scientific mind is best used on global problems.
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- Oh what now?! - Chef! Chef!
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This is just a dream. You still up on that cross.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 40
Jesus, after you got crucified, how long did it take for you to die and resurrect?
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 41
Randy Marsh!
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- Take that! - Dude! That's my dad!
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the sonofabitch who calls himself a scientist.
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I don't know what to do! - You have to help him, just like I have to help my dad.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 47
What's wrong with you? Christ! I'm Bob Dole and I can get it up!
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 48
Stanley, I think it's best you live with Kyle from now on. His dad is better than me.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 49
What?
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You're right, Stanley! You're absolutely right!
Aired 18 years ago - Apr 07, 1999

Mr. Mackey punishes the boys by forcing them to join the "Getting Gay With Kids" choir. The choir is going to Costa Rica to help save the rainforest. While on a tour of the rainforest the choir group gets lost when a snake kills their guide. They soon discover the evils of the rainforest, which changes the choir group's message.

Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 1
And that's exactly why you need to go, mmmkay.
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Did you know that right now bulldozers
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Okay children, that's all of us.
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My name is Kelly. - My name is Kenny.
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Wow, Costa Rican prostitutes!
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This is where all the leaders of the Costa Rican government make their...
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 9
I don't think it's funny! This place is overcrowded, smelly, and poor!
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Uh, we're the choir that was sent from the United States.
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Oh, thank goodness you're here, I don't speak any Spanish. - Oh no problem.
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We have a special gift for you, the gift of song.
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Spread the word and bring you cheer.
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they'll be nothing but rainforest covering the entire world.
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"that's a bad little Kitty" and I smack him on the head.
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- I wish we could have seen the Yanagapa. - What's the Yanagapa?
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Notice the red markings. Quite an amazing creature.
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Benny, do you think we're gonna be okay? - Yeah, everything is fine.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 24
Once this choir tour is over, we will never see each other again.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 25
Now, it is important that we all stick together.
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Uh, No.
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Children, he wants us to follow him.
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Um, I know! Perhaps you would like a gift.
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We're spreading awareness like never before.
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Yes, we have a phone. It's right over there, next to the twelve person jacuzzi.
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to save the rainforest because you like it's pretty flowers.
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have gathered for the Save the Rainforest Summit.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 41
Oh! Dear God! The summit starts in an hour! I'm gonna lose my job.
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 1 (S03E01) - 42
No no no no no no! You myah.
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Oh God, this is a nightmare! We're never gonna make the festival!
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Larry, if we make it out of this, I want to be your girlfriend,
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