Recaps for TV shows

South Park

S3 E14
Status
Continuing
Next episode
TBA
Airs
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central
Report
My shows Watch later
SEASON
VIEW ALL EPISODE

Season 3  "The Red Badge of Gayness"  3x14

Aired 24 years ago - Nov 24, 1999

South Park's Civil War reenactment, sponsored by "Jagerminz S'More Flavored Schnapps," gets out of hand. Cartman persuades the drunken lot to defeat the northerners so that he can win a bet with Kyle and Stan that will make them his slaves for one month.

Mouse over thumbnail for slideshow

Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 1
so how 'bout if the south wins, you two assholes have to be my slaves for a month!
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 2
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 3
The Union army had to get the bell on Aplomaticstown from Temrock Hill!
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 4
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 5
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 6
- Hey! He took the bell! - He can't do that!
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 7
but we have to let the Union army capture the bell this time!
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 8
We take that hill, and when we stand tall upon it, we hold our heads high and we yell:
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 9
and for 22 years, this Confederate re-enactors have had to spend
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 10
Alright, folks! Sorry for the false start! We're ready to go again!
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 11
Goddammit! What the hell are they doing?!
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 12
Surrender your men, General!
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 13
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 14
win the war, and the south still didn't win the war, dipshit!
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 15
That ain't true! The Confederates would've whooped ass in Topeka too!
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 16
You know what?! I'll bet we could take Topeka right now and prove 'em all wrong!
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 17
Men! It's time to show the world what this Confederate army has got!
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 18
Oh, what was our bet again?! Let's see!
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 19
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 20
I'm afraid I was grading papers pretty late and...
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 21
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 22
Alright, yank! Tell us where you keep your Yaggerman S'more Flavoured Schnapps!
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 23
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 24
At Topeka, we're raisin' all kinds of hell, see! Heh!
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 25
We're taking Topeka and now I must rally the men onward to Mossourah,
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 26
- That would suck so much ass! - We have to stop him, dude!
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 27
is making its way across the southern states of America!
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 28
Gonna need s'more s'mores schnapps! I'm gonna be sick!
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 29
Well, I'm joinin' them! Those blanks hurt!
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 30
Hey, there's s'more schnapps! Over here!
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 31
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 32
I know how! But, we'll have to wait until dark!
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 33
and although your son appears to be the only casualty of war,
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 34
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 35
Ha! Splendid! Then to Fort Supture we shall go!
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 36
- We're out of s'mores schnapps?! - That can't be!
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 37
Where am I?
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 38
We can't go home! We have to take Fort Supture!
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 39
You see, history is forever, and everything happens for a reason!
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 40
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 41
Yes, please! Two shots out of my breasts!
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 42
Hey! That sounds fine!
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 43
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 44
to drive out the Union occupents of Supture peacefully,
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 45
and one day, you look out and see thousands of confederates ready to pounce on ya!
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 46
Surrender the logement with your hands up!
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 47
No! You can't do that! Our dads are in there!
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 48
Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 49
Eh'government?!
 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 50
so that we may enter into a new millenium of prosperitah!

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 2 #2 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 3
The Union army had to get the bell on Aplomaticstown from Temrock Hill!
#3 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 4 #4 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 5 #5 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 6
- Hey! He took the bell! - He can't do that!
#6 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 7
but we have to let the Union army capture the bell this time!
#7 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 8
We take that hill, and when we stand tall upon it, we hold our heads high and we yell:
#8 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 9
and for 22 years, this Confederate re-enactors have had to spend
#9 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 10
Alright, folks! Sorry for the false start! We're ready to go again!
#10 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 11
Goddammit! What the hell are they doing?!
#11 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 12
Surrender your men, General!
#12 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 13 #13 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 14
win the war, and the south still didn't win the war, dipshit!
#14 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 15
That ain't true! The Confederates would've whooped ass in Topeka too!
#15 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 16
You know what?! I'll bet we could take Topeka right now and prove 'em all wrong!
#16 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 17
Men! It's time to show the world what this Confederate army has got!
#17 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 18
Oh, what was our bet again?! Let's see!
#18 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 19 #19 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 20
I'm afraid I was grading papers pretty late and...
#20 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 21 #21 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 22
Alright, yank! Tell us where you keep your Yaggerman S'more Flavoured Schnapps!
#22 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 23 #23 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 24
At Topeka, we're raisin' all kinds of hell, see! Heh!
#24 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 25
We're taking Topeka and now I must rally the men onward to Mossourah,
#25 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 26
- That would suck so much ass! - We have to stop him, dude!
#26 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 27
is making its way across the southern states of America!
#27 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 28
Gonna need s'more s'mores schnapps! I'm gonna be sick!
#28 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 29
Well, I'm joinin' them! Those blanks hurt!
#29 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 30
Hey, there's s'more schnapps! Over here!
#30 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 31 #31 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 32
I know how! But, we'll have to wait until dark!
#32 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 33
and although your son appears to be the only casualty of war,
#33 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 34 #34 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 35
Ha! Splendid! Then to Fort Supture we shall go!
#35 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 36
- We're out of s'mores schnapps?! - That can't be!
#36 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 37
Where am I?
#37 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 38
We can't go home! We have to take Fort Supture!
#38 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 39
You see, history is forever, and everything happens for a reason!
#39 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 40 #40 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 41
Yes, please! Two shots out of my breasts!
#41 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 42
Hey! That sounds fine!
#42 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 43 #43 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 44
to drive out the Union occupents of Supture peacefully,
#44 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 45
and one day, you look out and see thousands of confederates ready to pounce on ya!
#45 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 46
Surrender the logement with your hands up!
#46 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 47
No! You can't do that! Our dads are in there!
#47 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 48 #48 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 49
Eh'government?!
#49 Recap of South Park Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 50
so that we may enter into a new millenium of prosperitah!
#50