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Continuing
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in 12 hours
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Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central (US)
SEASON
EPISODE

Season 2

Aired 18 years ago - Jan 20, 1999

Kyle falls into a cave. Stan goes to rescue him and finds an iceman, and the two fight each other for sole credit. Dr. Mephisto discovers that the iceman has been frozen since 1996. The iceman is put on display and the fighting Kyle and Stan free him. The iceman tries to return to his family, but finds himself a man out of time. Meanwhile, the government has their own plans to use the iceman in their plot against Sweden. MORE -LESS

Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 1
and they went back to school and sang songs about grease lightning.
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I fell down that abyss and there it was.
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Wait what was that? I missed the question. Yippie!
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No! I found this frozen guy in the woods today!
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and perform an autopsy, I could learn much about this creature's people and it's time.
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We'll have to use the most advanced methods available.
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I haven't seen anybody wear clothes from Eddie Bauer since 1996.
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Ladies and gentlemen, we still have a lot of work to do.
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A team of scientists continues to try and unfreeze the body
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where he was probably a part of a hunting and gathering
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No no! We've got to think this through!
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- What? You're hungry? - Where am I?
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as primitive as his own. A mind like a child.
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Damn, I've never seen you guys fight like this. - Alright, there's only one fair way to do this.
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and then we could all go home and watch Murphy Brown.
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See if you can understand what he's saying.
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- And we found you... - What?! 32 months?!
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We would like to offer our services in your experiments. - Where are you gents from?
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in that is completely like his own world. Everything is 1996 oriented.
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which was a very popular group during his era.
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And they've done it! The Atlanta Falcons are going to the Superbowl!
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He would be more scared on the outside. You think this stuff freaks him out?
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Oh my God! They killed Kenny!
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Viewing hours are 10 to 18.
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Tomorrow afternoon at the bus stop! 4 o'clock!
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- He must have used this door. - Dammit! Dammit!
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We'll never track him down on our own. This calls for some special assistance.
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Well sir, let me shake your hand. I'm proud to meet the man
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By the fourth day I knew I had to move on.
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Calvin is eight, and little Buck is thirteen. I can't just up and leave them!
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not playing Australian Outback Guy.
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- I'm freezing myself again. - Whoa, that sucks, dude.
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It's this place called Des Moines. It's like lost in time, see.
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No you won't, butthole!
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- I can hunt down anything! - Wow! Kick ass!
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- Calm down! Calm down! - Yeah! Calm down! Calm down! You sons of bitches!
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Cracky! This snake is really pissed! Well I'm gonna jam my thumb in it's butthole now.
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- I have to go to platform B. - Oh! Okay, it's over this way.
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- What the hell are you talking about? - An ice man, a man from the past.
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You put me in front of yourselves, and that's what real friendship is all about.
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Aired 18 years ago - Dec 16, 1998

Harbucks coffee plans to move into South Park and drive Tweek coffee shop out of business. Mr. Garrison assigns a report on current events to help him keep his job. The boys are planning on doing their report on the underpants gnomes. Tweek's father schemes to use the boy's report as a platform for fighting Harbucks. The report the boys deliver sparks the town into taking action. MORE -LESS

Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 1
Yes Tweek coffee is a simpler coffee for a simpler America.
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The usual.
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real late-late at night and steal your underpants.
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Sleep at my house tonight. I'll prove it to you.
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Oh hello son. How was your day?
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Kay. Maybe it'll help us figure out what to do our report on. We have to
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company is going to move in and try to take all my business,
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because you lose them not because of underpants gnomes.
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- Man, this stuff is strong. - Kinda bitter.
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This stuff rocks.
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Hey let me have some grounds!
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Well this is just great. We haven't gotten anything done and we're totally screwed.
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- Of course, you don't have to use it. - No, we'll use it.
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Soon they'll want my blood. Blood!
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I don't think they wrote this, Mr. Hat.
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You really are teaching these kids something.
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Good, good. Now make sure that sign is really bright and flashy now.
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- I need coffee. - I know how you boys feel.
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- Dad! - What? - The metaphors, man.
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Mr. Tweek, we only just heard. - Oh, hello committee members. What a surprise.
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You hear that you're not gonna get away with this you whore!
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And we would have never even known this was happening
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Thank you mayor. I don't want to sound like a dick hole but I...
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- Hurray! - What do you say boys? We're gonna pass a law.
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- Didn't you see them?! - Alright what's next?
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and I actually do get fired, then Mr. Hat is gonna do horrible things to you.
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Should Harbucks be able to open a store in South Park? That's tonight's topic.
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Ok, Arcafé. Now for the other side of the argument we turn to our young, handsome lads.
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- Great argument. You win boys. - What?!
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I believe in the family owned enterprise.
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You don't hate children, do you?
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- Yes it is. We'll put it on the air immediately. - What do you think hon?
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I won't be a part of this anymore.
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It's people like you who are ruining Main Street, USA!
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It's yum diddly-icous. It makes you feel super.
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You should be ashamed of yourself. Using cartoons to push caffeine on children.
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and if the law passes you'll be thrown out of town.
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Before the vote we'll get a band that everyone likes, like, uh, like...
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- Oh god, when is this gonna end? - Your dad really screwed us Tweek.
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- I think my mom is a corporation. - Ya that makes sense.
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That's my last pair of underpants!
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- Ya he called me a pussy. I'm not a pussy you're a pussy! - You're a pussy, pussy.
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Well, it looks like Harbucks will never make it in this town.
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Damn, dude. This place is huge. - Ya, It's almost as big as Cartman's ass.
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- Hey, what's phase two?! - Phase one we collect underpants.
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- No you don't fat ass. - Do you guys know anything about corporations?
Aired 18 years ago - Dec 09, 1998

Kyle, Stan and Kenny accompany Eric and his family to a Christmas celebration with the Cartman family. One of Cartman's relatives breaks out of jail for the reunion, with his cellmate, Charles Manson.

Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 16 (S02E16) - 1
so I don't have to drive six hours to get a goddamned present!
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Boys let me introduce you to the Cartman family.
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- The fat one. - I'm/He's not fat I'm/He's big boned.
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Mom grandma's gone senile. It's time to stick her in a home!
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I can't believe I got a stupid shirt. The holidays are bull crap.
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It is certainly nice we could all gather 'round heyar for the holidays.
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Where's your manners Howard? We haven't even said Grace yet.
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- Dude, I don't know how long I can stay here. - I know what you mean.
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- What the hell was that for? - I wanted to make sure we're not dreaming.
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- Wow cool! - We can't let the rest of the family know I'm here.
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You can't just buy people Mr. Potter. Well you know what you are; you're a little bitch.
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- Damn his goddamn authoritah. - Only sixteen seconds left in the quarter...
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If you see Manson please kick his ass and smash his fuckin' face in for me
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- Here we got you some sticky cinnamon buns. - Wow sweet.
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- Good for you Charlie. - C'mon I'll hot-wire your grandpa's car.
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Uh, Sharon don't over-react. Maybe Stan didn't go to Cartman's grandmother's house.
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- Get the car Randy we're going to Nebraska. - Ooh. Stan's in trouble.
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How would you like to come with me to a more secluded part of the mall?
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The Grinchy poo went up the chimney and stuffed the tree up.
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Oh boy here we go.
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This is not Mr. Hankey. This is a fake.
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Behold. This is your false promise.
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Wow man that's beautiful. He was evil but now he's good.
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- It was a fake! - Oh I'm sorry.
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Oh that looks a lot like your car, Harold.
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Alright Manson we know you're in there. Come out peacefully and we'll shoot you.
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Everybody just sit down and shut up. We're not goin' back to the big house.
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Remember, if it isn't Palmoral you're gonna get cancer.
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- Wow, she's really pissed. - I'm glad I'm not you right now kid.
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And, uh, Tom, His mother is very disappointed with him.
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Happy Holidays!
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One marshmallow, two marshmallow...
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- What? - You see I had a family once.
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If they don't care about you would they have driven nine hours to Nebraska?
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Ninety Marshmallow, ninety-one marshmallow.
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- They're surrendering! - You under arrest.
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I finally understand what the holidays are all about.
Aired 18 years ago - Oct 28, 1998

Sharon Marsh's Aunt Flo makes her monthly visit and she has present for Stan, a fish. Stan's fish really freaks him out, especially when the dead bodies start piling up. Mrs. Marsh is convinced Stan is doing the killings and begins hiding the bodies. The boys discover there are two Cartmans and a gateway to a parallel universe at the "Indian Burial Ground Pet Store." MORE -LESS

Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 1
- Here he comes. - Hey Cartman, did you bring us money from your mom?
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- Why do you keep saying hella fat ass? - Cause I'm hella-cool that's why.
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but she only visits your mom for five days or so. I'll be out sleeping on the couch.
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Who the hell could that be?
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I'm not gonna look.
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- Look he's gonna kill me mom. - Is there a problem?
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Mom, I was just sleeping and the next thing I knew
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Look at you with your little shovel, just like when you were twelve.
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If that mocking bird don't sing mommy's gonna bury it in the back yard.
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What are we gonna do baby? What're we gonna do?
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It's all you could afford? Who ever heard of a squash-o-lantern Kenny. That's hella-stupid.
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Kyle, You know how some people are murderers and stuff?
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we've always been together. We're four of a kind having fun all day,
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- Why? - My pet goldfish killed another random person last night.
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- Ah, son of a bitch! - Well you don't see this every day.
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All ready for a Halloween lunch? Today I've got spooky spaghetti with freaky French fries
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- Chef, I have a goldfish that keeps killing people. - Well, don't worry Stan I'm sure it'll work out.
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Well, I was just standing around and Stan and Kyle were being really mean
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Of course. My pet goldfish must be from the evil opposite universe too!
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Whoa, what's wrong with your head? Why are you shaking like that?
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I believe it was called the "Indian Burial Ground Pet Store" just outside of town.
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Just help me take it back c'mon. Did you find the address Aunt Flo
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and call all the pet stores in the phone book.
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And now back to the Terrence and Philip Halloween special.
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My fluffy old pal. Yes, that's it, that's my mister Kitty. Ya.
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- You've been drinking. - That's right, I'm a little drunk.
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I don't know. I was drunk.
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Oh, well don't think of it as an end, think of it as a new beginning.
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- No, I won't take it back. - Listen friend, you just can't sell people pets like this.
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and let these great people of the Wampanoa rest in peace.
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- I don't know who you mean. - Maybe this will jar your memory.
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C'mon. I bet that together, we can make the best pumpkin ever.
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It just needs some tender, loving care.
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- Hey, what's wrong with you Cartman? - What's wrong with me? Let's see, um...
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- Yes. - Oh, well it's about friggin time you showed up!
Aired 19 years ago - Oct 07, 1998

Chef is getting sued by Capitalist Records for trying to obtain the rights to a song he wrote twenty years ago. He needs 2 million dollars to hire Johnny Cochran. In response the boys round up all of Chef's old musician friends and organize a huge concert to raise the cash.

Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 1
And representing the prosecution I am, your honor. Johnny Cochran.
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...trial of the...day, Johnny Cochran has appeared to defend Capitalist Records.
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I'm sure that would scare the hell out of him, Cartman.
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I've got 'em.
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Ladies and gentleman, this is Chew bacca.
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...with a bunch of two-foot tall Ewoks That does NOT MAKE SENSE!
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...and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca! Does that make sense
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If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests.
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We find the defendant, Jerome "Chef" McElroy, guilty as charged.
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You heard the judge: since you lost the case, I can seize whatever I want...
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I will do the German daunce for you. It's fun and gay and tra-la-la
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This This is my photo album of all my times in the rock business.
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I can take whatever I want.
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Mr. Twig Are you okay Mr. Twig
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Oh, they wouldn't remember me. All I did was cook for them.
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Come on. Maybe those rock stars will remember Chef. Let's go pay them a visit!
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Are you Elton John No, I'm one of his butlers.
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Chef! You mean, 'Chef' Chef Yeah, dude.
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Oh oh, cheddar cheese girl Cheddar, cheddar cheese girl
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What you need is a guy to write realy good lyrics for you. I know a guy named...
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Yes, of course. I'll buy three Crispy Yum-Yums.
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Dude, we'll have Chef's $2 million in no time!
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How was it, honey Pretty much what I expected.
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I owe eveything to Chef. Wow. So you'll help him
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All you do is put this paper bag over your head, and it increases your sexual pleasure.
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That was wonderful, Chef. Good show! I can't keep doin' this. It's killin' me!
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These pictures just arrived. I set up a camera, and caught...
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We went to a bunch of rock stars'n sold them candy bars to raise the money you needed.
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That doesn't matter, because that money belongs to me!
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Dude, Chef is gone. No more Chef.
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We set up a stage, and have Cartman do the German Dance. And we charge people for tickets.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 37
Remember, you're the one that left! And I'm NOT goin' to take you back!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 38
I'm afraid it's the big house for you, fruitcake.
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"Yes I'd like some sauerkraut. Boy, I'm hungry!"
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Hooray!
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California sun has sunk But Amana mailed, she'll come tonight
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 43
What the! Oh boy, we're free!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 44
Rick James, ladies and gentlemen! God bless you, Chef!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 45
What are you bastards doing
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 46
You know, it was like his mo'o, or something.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 47
Mr. Hat busted me out. Children, did you do this
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 48
We're all here to help our good friend, Chef, who has touched our lives in the past.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 14 (S02E14) - 49
Ain't nowhere to run (come everybody let's)
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I don't know, dude. I though you knew him. Oh, well. Anyways, here's our song!
Aired 19 years ago - Sep 30, 1998

South Park's annual "Cow Days" party is happening! The cows become transfixed on a cow statue. In order to get the money they need to win Terrance and Phillip dolls, the boys sign Cartman up for a bull riding contest. A freak accident has Cartman believing he is a Vietnamese prostitute named Ming Li. The boys learn about money and cow insanity.

Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 1
Guys check it out.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 2
- But it... - Sorry kid, try again. Just 5 more dollars.
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- Mom, give me some money! - Kyle what are you doing here? This is very dangerous!
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to run against the cows do so at their own risk.
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- How much is it? - Just 3 tickets boys.
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- You better be right, dude. - I'm right!
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Only farts!
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Man what the hell kind of carnival company are you?
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- Did you enjoy the ride? - What ride?
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Hey, I bet Kenny has some food stamps on him! - What, these?
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- Why? - This game is fixed. The balls are bigger than Jennifer Love Hewit's mouth!
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Yes, man you can't just go declaring shenanigans on innocent people,
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Oh no no no. You gotta win 7 times to earn those.
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Cartman could ride a bull and try to win 5000 dollars.
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Ok... I'll get on a bull.
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- How long was that? - That wasn't quite 10 seconds.
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- What are you gonna do? - Hit the bull in the balls with a snowball.
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Come on Cartman.
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Dude, I think we broke him.
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- No boys, you need to take him home and let him get plenty of sleep. - Damn it!
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Alright damn it! We are not going to stand for this.
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Wait a minute, you folks from outta town.
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Come one, come all. Chamber of Farts has been fixed and reopened!
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- It's so cold here. - Where is that Sherriff? We need water!
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Ok that's enough of that. You cows need to disperse!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 41
Bad cows... stay...
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3,2,1!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 43
- Here we go! - Dude, I'm having second thoughts about this. - What do you mean?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 44
Ahhh! Ten dolla! 10 dolla socia boy!
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- Oh my god they killed Kenny! - You bastards!
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Freeze cows!
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Stop please!
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- Oh you boys are back again huh? - Yeah, and we have 5000 dollars this time.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 50
Aired 19 years ago - Sep 23, 1998

Stan needs to build a clubhouse so he and Kyle can play "Truth or Dare" with Wendy and her friend, who has a crush on Kyle. Cartman and Kenny retaliate by building a clubhouse of their own; only theirs has hot chicks. Meanwhile, the Marshes marriage breaks up and Stan learns a valuable lesson about love and family.

Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 1
- Oh you got me Terrance! - Sure I do.
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- Hey hey hey. What's goin on Rudy? - Man Fat Abbot, you need to loose weight.
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- Did you find it? - Give me a second would you?
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Hey yeah, that'd be sweet. We could totally ruin their lives.
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- What were you born yesterday? - Yeah now beat it you guys. This clubhouse is private.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 8
Well why the fuck do I have to do all the work while you stand around?
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But moooom! The blueprint says we need carpeting in the clubhooouussseee!!!!!!!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 10
you'll be telling me that you need your space, and that I'm sabotaging your creativity.
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- What did you say???? - When is Mr.Hat coming back?
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So how is your lame ass clubhouse Stan?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 13
the episode with captain and Tenile got higher ratings.
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- Don't lie Stan. Lying makes you sterile. - I'm not lying someone just handed me.
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Young man, school is a time for learning, mmkay. Not for immature skylarkings.
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Randy, let me handle this. Now Stanley, I want you to explain
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Mmkay, uh perhaps you should let your wife finish talking Mr.Marsh.
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It's always gossip, stupid crap.
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- Oh please yourself! - Who tries to control the marrige?
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- Aright, you go find chics Kenny. - Why do I always have to go find chics?
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- To me? - I mean no, not to you. Forget it.
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- I'm going as fast as we can! - Kyle, could you turn around for a second?
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- No no! You say truth. - Truth? But that's boring! I wanna get dared to kiss her!
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- You're like school in summertime. - School in summertime?
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Hi we ran away from home.
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- How's the clubhouse coming Stan? - We're working on it!
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Stanley, I think you should know that your father has moved out.
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Hello Stanley! I know this must be a very difficult period for you right now,
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I have taken you under my wing and done my best, and all you ever do is whine and moan about it.
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- That's totally weak. - So I go, fine! I won't come home!
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And if I wanna finger paint, then I'm gonna finger paint!
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Your bastard father has visitation rights, and this is his time with you.
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- High Handsome. We're gonna be at Larry's bar tonight. - I'm already there.
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I guess, but...
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- To say dare dumbass! Sheez! - Hi guys!
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- Kiss Bebe on the lips! - What?! Sick dude! I'm not kissing a girl!
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- Sick!!! Ahhhh! Fucking sickening! - Wow, look at that ass! Shake it baby!
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When will you let me in? Let me love you?
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Totally. My mom gives me shit sometimes.
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- Oh we invited some people over. Hope you don't mind. - How many people?
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I'm NOT YOUR DAD!!!! You can't just go around playing games with my emotions!!!
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you're the most important thing after me and my happiness and my new romances.
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nobody finds him for days. Clock Clock, you know what I'm sayin?
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If you have a stepdad riding your ass, just snatch his ass in a bear trap. Grind! No more stepdad.
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- This is bullcrap! - Oh boy it's gettin late. I'm gonna have to leave this party.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 50
Stanley? Your father's coming over for visitations. Stan?
Aired 19 years ago - Sep 02, 1998

The kids go on a field trip to the planetarium. All of the children except Cartman are acting weird. As usual Stan and Kyle, with Kenny's sacrifice, try to get to bottom of the mystery. Meanwhile, Cartman wins an appearance on a snack commercial. The four boys get to the root of the strange planetarium.

Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 1
- Planetarium sucks. - Aw now what's wrong with the planetarium?
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Well Cheesy Poofs is looking for a kid to sing the happy Cheesy Poof song.
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That ain't how you do it! It goes like this!
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- Hey there it is! - We're going around the country trying to find the kid
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- Yes, little boy? - How long is that Cheesy Poof van gonna be outside?
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I love my work.
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- come out. - Whoopee...
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And these two little stars over here form the constellation, the Crusades.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 10
but I'm gonna try to change the way you think about that.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 11
Ahem... I love Cheesy Poofs, you love Cheesy Poofs, if we didn't eat Cheesy Poofs,
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- Me too! It was sweet! - Really? What did you like best about it?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 13
This week is laser Kenny Logins and laser James Taylor.
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- Van Gather... - Van Gather? What the hell you doing on our bus?
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- Planetarium... - I'll give him a pain killer. That should calm him down.
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- Well whatever happened to him, happened at the planetarium. - Ahh planetarium!
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- Dude this is totally killer. - I hope this goes on for 7 months or something.
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- Dude, I'm totally tripping... - Yeah, it's totally killer.
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- That's a haiku? - No I'm asking why Eric Cartman isn't at school.
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When I get blowjobs... that I cum through discharging... that's the way to fuck.
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Well hello, it's all my little friends with all their little dreams.
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Hey, where's your regional champion certificate Clyde? Oh you don't have one?
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I bet you don't win... they don't let big fatasses...
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- I'm gonna sedate him now. - No! No drugs!
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Uh there's only one way to get any sense out of him.
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Well children, I'm so glad you came back to learn more.
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- Here you see pollarus, the dog star. - I'm just gonna step outside and go wee-wee.
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..and right over here we see the constillation orion. Orion's belt is made up of three stars.
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- Don't be nervous, I'm sure you'll win. - I dunno, there's a lot of competition here.
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Mr.Garrison, we think that the planetarium guy is...
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- Mr.Garrison? - Well I guess I could give them extra credit for it.
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It says "maximum".
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- Next will be uh...Eric Theodore Cartman. - Hello everybody!
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She was all about the money! So hogged by her honey!
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- But why? - Planetarium. About to go out of business.
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- unfortunately that finalist is Eric Cartman. - Yes! I'm the best!
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Thanks Tom, yes indeed the planetarium has become very popular as word spreads,
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I guarantee, it'll change the way you think about the plane-arium.
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I'm gonna go with you to the planetarium so I can prove that nothing's wrong.
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I love cheesy poofs, you love cheesy...
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- Cut! - What?! - I'm not liking the shoes, can we change the shoes?
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- Oh really. - Yeah, I just thought I'd come show them around.
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- Welcome to the planetarium. - Well it's nice to see you finally got a real job Chef.
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- Hi grandma, it's me Eric. - Oh hello Eric. Grandma sure has missed you!
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Hello, you've reached the Broslofski's. Please leave a message.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 50
- To not be Elvis will cause you great pain. - Pain.
Aired 19 years ago - Aug 26, 1998

Cartman's mother plots to give the boys the chickenpox by sending them over to Kenny's for a sleepover. Both Stan and Cartman breakout, but Kyle remains immune. Kyle discovers "the parental conspiracy" and with the other boys hires a prostitute to give their parents herpes. Meanwhile, Kenny's mother and Kyle's mother reunite their husbands who were both childhood friends that drifted apart. MORE -LESS

Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 1
Whoa dude! You got herpes on your face, too!
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Let's say grace.
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That one's mine! That one's mine!
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You know your dad and I used to be best friends when we were teenagers.
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What am I supposed to do with frozen waffles clamhead?
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Kenny honey, if you're gonna sneeze, sneeze on them.
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- Cartman, what the hell is that? - It's my Urkel sleeping bag. Isn't it kewl?
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Not too much hon. It says on the bottle that too much can be bad.
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Bobie, how would you like to spend the night at your friend Kenny's house again?
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while we have a big house and lots of food?
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- Gods and clods? - Yes, you see I spen a lot of time going to law school
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Stanley, can I get you anything else?
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- Serves you right, you little brat. - At least I'm not gonna die from it like you might!
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That's tom foolery.
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who had chickenpox so that he would get it early.
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- What's ooki-mouth? - First you let Kenny spit in your mouth.
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Ah, we don't care for that hoidy, toydi, rich folks stuff.
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Oh they was best friends. You couldn't separate em.
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You say they were such good friends, it's silly they don't even talk anymore.
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- Phillip, I got good news and bad news. - Give it to me straight Terrance.
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No, it means you won't be able to live anymore.
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Just use a little bit of that stuff hon. It has to last a while.
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- When you're uh unemployed, weekends are meaningless. - Right, right right.
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Right, right.
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That son of a bitch! What kind of sick weirdo is he!?
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- We're going down to Happy Burger for some milkshakes. - Milkshakes?
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- He's been over at Kenny's house 3 days in a row, and still hasn't caught the chickenpox. - What?
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Oy. It was for your own good Kyle. I wanted you to get chickenpox while you were young.
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Microbrew sampler from Aspen. Has 6 different beers from local breweries.
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- Wake her up and we're both dead. - Sorry, sorry...
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I don't know what they're planning next, but it can't be good.
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No no no no. Come on fatass, we're gonna get em all back.
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You're just jealous! You're a bitter old drunk just like your father!
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We just, can't seem to find him at this moment.
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making him think he's David Duchove...
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I just don't get it. Why would he invite me fishing and turn into a complete bastard?
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My final solution by Kyle Broslofski. My dad is the smartest guy in the whole wide world.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 42
- What's happening here Terrance? - We're doing and anal transplant, it's our only hope.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 43
What makes you think I would know anything about that?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 44
Oh well then Frita's the right person to go to.
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- Someone who has a favor. - Ten dollars I'll leg, five dollars a nut.
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- You have to get back to the hospital for a shot! - I don't wanna go back there!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 50
Going out and playing around with chickenpox almost killed you all.
Aired 19 years ago - Aug 19, 1998

A film festival moves to South Park, only to have a devastating effect on the sewer system. Mr. Hankey calls upon Kyle for help. The movie people interpret Kyle's pleading as a pitch and they quickly turn his story into a film starring Tom Hanks and a monkey they call "Mr. Hankey." Kyle is outraged that the filmmakers aren't hearing his pleas. Soon Chef's Salty Chocolate Balls energizes everyone. MORE -LESS

Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 1
I can see the commercial now. Wife got you down?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 2
Well perhaps you'd like to try my low calorie cookies,
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 3
Would you like to come with me? Stan, memmememme, hehehehe...
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 4
Geezes, he sure ran that one into the ground.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 5
Dare you call them dark.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 6
Dude!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 7
Could it be?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 8
And so the excitement level is naturally very high.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 9
Ladies and gentlemen, TV's Fred Savage!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 10
Cartman's ass is so fucking fat that sometimes it takes up the entire projecting room.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 11
This town still has some charm left. Not the mess we turned Park City into.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 12
And if we can't live in quite simple peaceful mountain towns,
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 13
I call them "Chef's salty chocolate balls."
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 14
Dude, how do you tell if a piece of poo is in trouble?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 15
Of course! The sewer! That must be where he is! Come on!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 16
What the hell? Mr.Garrison?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 17
Ok that does it. Screw you guys, I'm home.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 18
And using dental floss? Yes.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 19
and raw vegetables, and it's destroying my environment.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 20
Don't forget to change your sheets once a week!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 21
has become overcrowded with people who eat health foods.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 22
What a great story! It has everything!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 23
Can we put a monkey in it? The Mr.Hankey story, is there a fort available for a fall pick?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 24
You don't really need those guys do you?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 25
And I am very pleased to announce that in honor of the South Park
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 26
Can they do that? They're Hollywood, they can do anything.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 27
I can't thank you enough for tryin.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 28
I'm not gonna let you die. Alright, just let me get my tooth brush.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 29
I always thought death was something glorious, but I know that it's not.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 30
Oh my god! I found a penny!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 31
I don't think we realized what an impact this festival would have on our town.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 32
Right. Two million, minus your agence fee, minus your lawyer's fee,
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 33
Even me! I was selling out my town too. And now look at it.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 34
What's this? I want you guys to all meet my friend.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 35
Come closer. Closer.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 36
Closer... Yes?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 37
Noooo!!!!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 38
Ok!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 39
Oh good idea. Let's....
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 40
Well....I...I kinda hope not.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 41
My salty chocolate balls must've rejuvinated him!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 42
Selling T-shirts kicks ass.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 43
Wait! I brought him! I brought him to show you!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 44
Mr.Poo if you wouldn't mind, we can't hear our chairman.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 45
too many of you, is hurtin our ecosystem.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 46
"Oh let's forget about lawyers, and exits, and studios,
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 47
Now, as I was saying, this shall usher in a whole new decade of films....
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 48
What the hell is he doing? I don't know!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 49
Oh my god!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 50
I'm trying damn it!
Aired 19 years ago - Jun 24, 1998

Schools out for summer and with Mr. Hat missing, Mr. Garrison is over the edge. The state has a ban on the sale of fireworks, and it screws up the boy's plans for a 4th of July celebration. Mr. Garrison seeks psychiatric help from Dr. Katz while Jimbo and Ned go to Mexico, in an attempt to smuggle fireworks back to the children of America.

Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 1
Shut up Pip. Right-o. Enjoy summer this summer for me, would you?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 2
I saw in this movie once, where this guy stuck a firecracker up a cat's butt.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 3
What can I do for you? We wanna buy M-80s.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 4
How can they do this to us? Doesn't anyone believe in tradition anymore?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 5
Yeah now what are we supposed to do?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 6
Hello? No I don't know where Mr.Hat is! Geeze Garrison, I've got bigger problems!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 7
We can't have a celebration without fireworks.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 8
The press will love it! I'll be on the front pa....ooooh!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 9
Guys, don't you notice anything wrong with this picture?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 10
Oh my god! Well don't worry boys. Uncle Jimbo is on the case.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 11
At the dynomite firework company, we have a commitment to excellence.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 12
We'll have to fly it in with 3 comanchi helecopters, and lower it on to the ground at the lake.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 13
Well you see, fireworks at the lake will not only go on, but perhaps be the best ever.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 14
Dusty the dirtball!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 15
Mr.Hat is just a puppet. Yep.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 16
Yeah Cartman, you're swimming around in 1st grader pee!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 17
But Cartman we're trying to.... Screw you guys....home.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 18
Na-uh. Just jump in!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 19
Awww weak! Weak! Aww you sons of bitches!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 20
Oh, let's try some scales first. C scale first. And...
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 21
and a bunch of tonedeaf little shits playing.... wait a minute..it's the snake!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 22
Yo soy uno Americano spectacularr! [I am a spectacular American!]
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 23
It's our job to get these to children all over America for the 4th of July.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 24
You go to hell, you go to hell and you die! I'm gonna find out who you are!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 25
Hey let's sing one together.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 26
Eric, you have to get in the deep end sooner or later.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 27
Come on Eric! No way! These sons of bitches! I'm going home.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 28
and scores of tourists anctiously await the lighting of the largest snake,
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 29
I'm told that this even won't begin until the sun goes down and night is upon us.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 30
And a one, and a two, and a ....
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 31
Oh hell, light the snake.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 32
Good evening gentlemen.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 33
Damn, damn! I always get that question wrong!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 34
Yes you know, expire, end.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 35
Stop it! It's out of control!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 36
let's see. A normal snake lasts 3 sec
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 37
Coming up for 9 hours,
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 38
and not ever light any giant snakes in the near future.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 39
Where is Chef?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 40
Hello? What? Oh hello children. It's a what?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 41
Children...you know I rarely say this but....well fudge ya.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 42
From this day on, all will be well.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 43
How the fuck should I know? If I knew that I wouldn't be seeing a fucking psychiatrist, would I?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 44
Well I believe you. I absolutely believe you.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 45
Mr.Garrison, I think that Mr.Hat was actually your gay side trying to come out.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 46
Serves you right you gay bashing homo!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 47
Is anyone other than the 2 of you traveling in this vehicle?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 48
Quick Ned, this is our chance. The hummer's outside.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 49
And it appears as if thought the mayor is going to explain matters now.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 50
We do however have an official statement for all the concerned citites

While their school bus is dangling on the edge of a cliff, the boys remember some of their past adventures. Mrs. Crabtree catches a ride into town with a stranger and winds up doing a brief stint as a standup comedienne. Back in South Park, Mr. Mackey convinces the parents that their missing children must have run away. In the end it's all a dream within a dream. MORE -LESS

Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 1
What did you say????!??!?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 2
They're indigious to this area.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 3
I said quiet! Or else I'll kill the bunny!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 4
Hello and welcome to tape 7 of the bus drivers video guide.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 5
The best way to achive this is to tell them something like
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 6
I'm going for help. I'll be back as soon as I can.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 7
Hey this is not good. She could've at least left the heat on.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 8
Hello little lady. Going my way?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 9
So uh, what's a fragile dove like yourself, doing out on a a night like this?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 10
Mmm sweet.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 11
Worse than this? Well sure.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 12
Really? Ah, I don't think I can fart anymore tonight.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 13
Hey it's happening again!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 14
Now that was what I call a sticky situation.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 15
Yeah right. Let me come with you.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 16
You suck!!!!!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 17
You're the funniest comic I've seen in years!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 18
Calm down dude, you're upsetting Kenny.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 19
Don't do it kid!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 20
Holy crap dude!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 21
Hello? Oh hello Ms. Cartman, it's Sharon, Stan's mother.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 22
Oh dear.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 23
You look like a lump of dog shit just got hit by a CAR!!!!!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 24
Can't help but feel like I've forgotten something.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 25
Hey, maybe it's that thing scuzzlebutt. What?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 26
Jimini oaks! It's the real scuzzlebutt!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 27
Dude he's making ice cream!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 28
Here she comes!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 29
Mrs. Kathie Lee Gifford to South Park!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 30
Thank you, how I love you all.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 31
But the monster outside couldn't be Mr.Garrison, cause Mr.Garrison used a gun.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 32
Just give me another one of them Roofies.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 33
it's because they've run away, mmkay.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 34
It's only a matter of time before they're selling their bodies and buying smack!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 35
What could it be? If only we knew what we were up against.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 36
Come over here you son of a whore!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 37
cause death only touches you, it doesn't eat you.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 38
Hey you guys, can we order a pizza?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 39
Well, that was great ma'am.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 40
Yeah there's got to be a way out of this.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 41
We believe in you Fonz!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 42
Now that's what I call a sticky situation.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 43
What are we gonna do?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 44
Well I'm not gonna sit here and wait to die with the rest of you.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 45
Holy crap dude!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 46
Wow, this is gorgeous. I don't think I've ever seen anything so beautiful.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 47
Me too Marcus. I've forgotten all about my cares in the world.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 48
and hopes that their young will hear their cry.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 49
runaway, finding streets, so cold....
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 7 (S02E07) - 50
Runaway, come home. We love you just as you are.

Mr. Garrison assigns the boys to learn about Vietnam from somebody they know. Stan's Uncle Jimbo and his friend Ned tell the boys their outrageous tale. Mr. Garrison doesn't believe the boy's report and gives them detention. They plot revenge against Stan's Uncle by submitting a phony video of the Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka to them.

Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 1
And also try the numbers of some endangered species.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 2
That's right Mr.Garrison, the Vietnam war was sticky and icky.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 3
Where could I hide this big pipe?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 4
Dude, my uncle Jimbo was in Vietnam.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 5
can supposedly kill you with one hoard daze.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 6
Well I'd like to know what all you skeptiks out there say now. What do you think, Ned?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 7
So you interested in your uncle Jimbo's big TV show, huh?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 8
No, Vietnam was more like shoving shards of broken glass up your ass,
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 9
Oh boy what a gorgious day.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 10
- Are you up for it? - Sir yes sir!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 11
- Charlies at 2 o'clock! - I see em! Drop the bomb!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 12
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 13
- We did it Ned! We killed the entire Vietcong army! - Whoopie.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 14
- They've gone from 6 people, to 12! - Holy smokes! We could get an emmy!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 15
And 5, 4, 3...
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 16
Ah, ye, yeah. Ok. Beggining today we're taking the show in a new direction.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 17
- So Bob, so you just get in town? - Yep, just got in.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 18
And after killing the entire Vietcong army, they returned to base camp.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 19
- Yes Mr.Garrison? - Yes, uh where the fuck did you hear this ridiculous load of bullshit?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 20
- How do you know? You weren't even there! - Well that's it!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 21
You're here because you were inferior mmkay. You're here because you're akward, mmkay.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 22
- How? - Well he screwed us by making something up, I say we do the same thing!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 23
We've just received a tape from another viewer who filmed
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 24
So when we roll this film, be sure to look away.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 25
Yeah, they're a couple of bitch ass motherfuckers!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 26
- And we're back in 5, 4, 3... - Remember, big big big!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 27
-And yet somehow he managed to survive.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 28
She's gotta loose that zero and get herself a hero.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 29
very important in all of this.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 30
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 31
- Since when do frogs talk Cartman? - It's a Sri Lanka frog!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 32
When I yell action, you start to walk this way.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 33
Well it appears as thought a lot of you skeptics thought that the film
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 34
There you go. Proof that not only is this frog real,
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 35
- Uh, clever? - It's genious, it really is.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 36
Oh J, you are so omnipotent and yet so naive.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 37
Order now, only $19.95! Remember this is stuff you can't see on TV!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 38
- With the log ride? - Yep. - Man I was it Tet.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 39
Ok, ok, ok bye. Great news everybody, this week's ratings are through the roof!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 40
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 41
Hello fellow hunters, have we got a show for you today.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 42
Now Ned! Ned? Ned?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 43
Ned, Ned, can you hear me? Quick, somebody call and ambulance, this man is catatonick!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 44
Oh Stanley he's gone! My only friend in the world is gone!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 45
My best friend is a vegetable, and I'm gonna be the laughing stock of South Park!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 46
- Who are you? - I produce a little TV show called Jesus and Pals, you might've heard of it.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 47
As some of you may know I host a local show on hunting.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 48
- And we're out. - You're corpses up here.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 49
Remember, you all start a fight after the chair is thrown, that's your cue.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 50
Wow, now Stanley, it sounds like your uncle's really worried about you.
Aired 19 years ago - Jun 03, 1998

Kyle is injured and must go to see the school nurse and is terrified because of the stories he's heard. She looks fairly normal, except for the dead fetus sticking out of her head. Kyle's mother educates the boys on her "condition" and decides that everyone in South Park should be made aware. Meanwhile, the South Park Cows dodgeball team goes to the state, national and finally the international finals in China. MORE -LESS

Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 1
- I caught it! I caught it! - Great catch Kyle. Now your team's on offense.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 2
That nose is bleeding pretty bad Kyle. I think you might have to go to the nurse's office.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 3
I heard she has tentacles and eats children for lunch.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 4
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 5
Oh, well I'll get you an ice-pack.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 6
- Was it wearing clothes? - Dude! Where's she gonna get fetus clothes?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 7
Now that's just the kind of unawairness that we need to fight against. Sit down boys.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 8
Sometimes, the dead twin is inside the living person,
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 9
Can you imagine that poor, poor woman.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 10
Well Sharon, I was just trying to edjucate them about conjoined twin myslexia.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 11
Yeah. I thought we only played on Fridays.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 12
Aren't we supposed to have won something in order to go to state finals?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 13
Well Mrs.Broslofski, it certainly is a thrill seeing you cheery face again.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 14
Her disease should be brought to light so that it can be understood rather than made fun of.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 15
This poor woman is forced to live in the shadows because she feels like an outcast.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 16
I'll talk to nurse Gollum, but I'm sure she'd be delighted. Say around 8?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 17
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 18
Whoa dude! This is the school?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 19
and here you are. You're from South Park, yeah? - Yeah.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 20
- So where did you get your degree, Nurse Gollum? - Colorado State.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 21
Damn it! Come on! Somebody catch the ball.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 22
Great shot Pip!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 23
- Please, forgive us, I'm terribly sorry Nurse Gollum. - No, I'm quite secure with it.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 24
- Oh! So I suppose that's out. How about a hat then? - No, really I don't need...
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 25
Oh yes, a conjoined twin myslexia awareness week. You know that has a nice ring.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 26
You got just one more Pip. You get this kid, and we are state champions.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 27
It hurts! Mommie it hurts!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 28
Ladies and gentlemen this is indeed a great week for South Park.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 29
But most importantly this week has brought to my attention a very serious and dreaded disease.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 30
Let's hear it for these brave souls!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 31
Washington incase hey get hurt. That is my job.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 32
- Ok, what've you got? - Some gefilte fish, some gafaga.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 33
You children win this one and you're national champions.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 34
national champions of dodgeball, The South Park Cows!
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 35
They do nothing but dodgeball. Day in and day out.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 36
And so as we have this honorary dinner, we take a look back at Nurse Gollum,
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 37
Dead fetus you know, you never let go.
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This award goes to outstanding conjoined twins who have made a mark on society.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 39
Now we're almost to China. I want you all to try and focus on the game.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 40
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- I have no idea dude. - Come on rice picker!
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But it is ok to make fun of foreigners because they're from another country.
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Damn dude, China's fucked up.
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don't have to rely on that amazing American intellect
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- I don't know, wrat? - Stupid American!
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- Oh my god! They killed Kenny. - You... bastards...
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Still all Chinese players. This simply all is very sorry.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 49
I'll use my credit card.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 50
You know Eric, I just realized something. I've been obsessed, and an obsession isn't good.
Aired 19 years ago - May 27, 1998

The Booktastic bus is in town and soon everyone finds out that Officer Barbrady can't read. He is whisked off to school with the boys so he can save his job. While he's there someone in South Park is having sex with the town's chickens and only Officer Barbrady with his new deputies Kenny, Kyle, Stan, and Cartman can stop them!

Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 1
No, uh, let's focus our discussion first on mari-ja-uana.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 2
In the meantime, I want to get into alcohol a little, mmkay? Alcohol is bad, kay?
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Uh, has, has that mari-ja-uana made it back up here yet?
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- Mmkay. Now children, has that mari-ja-uana made it around yet?
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- What could have possessed you to be so stupid? - I'm sorry Principal Victoria.
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It was an error of judgement Mr. Mackee, but I'm afraid I have to let you go for it.
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Mmkay.
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Because they're an addictive solution to a greater problem causing disease of both
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 10
- and it's called college. Do you understand? - Sure.
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Children, uh, what's the one thing that's more sacred to a man than anything else in the world?
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- A fireman? - That's the proper way to say it, or else you get a spanking.
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Hey Mackee, now we see what you and Homer Simpson have in common. Dope!!
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- Chop off his wee-wee! Are you sure? - Yeh dude! It's a Jewish tradition.
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I heard that you got fired from your job for selling drugs to children.
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Mom, dad, what exactly is this party for?
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Oh, now what's gotten into him?!? Stan, will you go talk to him?
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- Come on, Ike. - Hidee how.
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- Uh, ehehe, mari-ja-uana's bad. - What?
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- Man, this alley is cool. It's so love and beautiful. - Oh boy.
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I'm sorry but we just can't throw Caucasian babies on an outbound train.
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- Ready Ike, kick the baby! - Don't kick the baby.
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Pretty good man, how are you?
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- There, what do you think? - What the hell is that supposed to be?
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- Hi boys. - Hi Mr. Mackee.
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How is my little jelly bean?
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- Fireman! - Oh, who the hell cares? He's not even my responsibility.
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Get out of the way you damn hippie.
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Hey man, I overheard what you said. That was cool.
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- Gerald, do something about your smart-ass son. - Uh, mind your...mother, smart-ass.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 40
Excuse me, we're looking for a two-year old Canadian boy.
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Let's get married and have a honeymoon in India.
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Wow, this is so beautiful.
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Well, I guess the chopping is about to commence.
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Cookie monster. Two, three, four, five.
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Mr. Mackee, you're supposed to be an adult.
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Hello Dr. Schwartz. Thank you so much for coming all this way to perform Ike's Bris.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 50
Aired 19 years ago - May 20, 1998

Ike's going to have a Briss and everyone is invited! Stan, Kenny, and Cartman find out what a Briss really is and try to warn Kyle that his parents are going to cut off Ike's wee wee. Kyle sends Ike away to protect him from his scissor wielding parents.

Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 1
Well being an officer of the peace means a lot of things.
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This ain't no podunk little town.
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Well, uh. This is quite interesting, huh guys?
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"Sorry I had sex with the chicken. I won't do it again, bye-bye."
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- How about fishing without a license? - I'm not fishin'!
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- Sir, can I help you? - Uh, just give me 2 cheeseburgers and some jalepeno poppers.
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I can't go on living this life.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 10
Well nobody can say for sure, no motive has yet been established.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 11
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And so Officer Barbrady is taken a leave of abcense,
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- Whoopee! This is killer! - With no cops around, we can do whatever we want!
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Yes that's right. It's back to school with Officer Barbrady!
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Officer Barbrady in school we go to the bathroom before and after class.
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Now I'm going to write a sentence and I want us all to help Officer Barbrady read it.
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Who should we have go first Mr. Hat? Let's see.
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I the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe a bunch of uh, hippies walk around and paint stuff.
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I've just finished reading the heartwarming novel "Go Dog, Go!"
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A red dog, on a...
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Officer Barbrady! What are you doing?
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Oh mayor, please, when we're around children we prefer to call him the chicken lover.
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Listen buddy! Either you learn to read quick
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- It's cool dude, we'll help you. - Hey that's right, you can help me.
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You keep a tab on crime in the city. And we'll try to solve the chickenlover case.
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Good day friends! Welcome to the magical world of reading.
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- What's this word? - I.
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- Do you know what speed limit it hea?
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Oh you couldn't screw anything Halfy, you don't have any legs!
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Well I've been working this beat for about 3 days now.
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Well hopefully spending some time with you gorgeous. Is $20 enough?
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Oh god damn reading is lame!
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- Come on dumbass! You can do it! - Pet... wait a minute.
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- And, who's, who's in here with you? - Just me and my wife and my brother.
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Shut up bitch!
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RESPECT MY AUTHORITAY!!
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- Maybe we were wrong about the clue. - Yeah, maybe you read it wrong.
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Uh, can't this thing go any faster??
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- Caught you red-handed! - Indeed you did! How did you know I would strike here?
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-So you fucked a bunch of chickens? - Yes! Yes exactly! Don't you see?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 3 (S02E03) - 50
And now my reading friend you've proven that you are ready for the big time.
Aired 19 years ago - Apr 22, 1998

Dr. Mephisto is about to reveal who Eric Cartman's father really is! Glass shatters and gunshots ring out. A mysterious assailant apparently shot Mephisto while the lights were off. Much to Eric's chagrin, they rush Mephisto off to the hospital. Chef rushes out the door with Mephisto in hand. They must fight against time to learn Eric's background, who is his father? Where does he come from? MORE -LESS

Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 1
- You've got to be kidding me! - Come on children!
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- Really? - Yeh, I ju, I can't do anything till it's done.
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On board I'm the captainSo climb aboard We'll search for tomorrowOn every shore
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Come sail awayCome sail away Come sail away with meLord,
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law enforcer in this town. What would he do?
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- And, and this one is so compelling. - Really??
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 9
Then we'll flash a number on the screen that people can call if
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 10
Great, we'll get started with auditions immediately. What part should we cast first?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 11
but I just don't feel that I can raise a child in this screwy world.
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Really?
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If you want to change the law, you'll have to speak with your congressman.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 14
- Whoa dude, she doesn't have any arms. - We're an equal opportunity employer here son.
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Ooops, he's hemorrhaging.
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let's move on to the auditions for the part of Mr. Uh Garrison.
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- What?!? - Next.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 18
But the person at unplanned parenthood said
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 19
I'll let you know if there's a change in his condition.
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...Some happy, some sadI think of childhood friends and the dreams we had
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I'm simply a man, a man trying to do my job.
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For now it's just me and Nurse Goodly.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 24
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when Dr. Alfonse Mephesto was gunned down in his laboratory.
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I'm going to get the man to hospital, who will help me?
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Who framed Roger Rabbit?
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Lady, is Mephesto going to be ok?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 29
Mra, I don't know, I, I might need some more convincing.
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- Do you know anything about surgery? - I used to watch Quincy.
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My God, this is the worst storm I've ever seen.
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That's the law of the land Mr. Director.
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Well, who the hell made you the boss anyway?
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- No. - Ok, first I'll make an incision on the chest, over the heart.
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Is it Barbrady, or Jimbo, or the 1991 Denver Broncos?
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When you draw straws you're supposed to have one of them short.
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We must split up into two teams. Team A and Team B.
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We will drink the cocoa and watch family programming
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Are there any questions?
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How can we? How could we live with ourselves?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 2 (S02E02) - 41
Well, there's no going back now. We're cannibals.
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We'll give the storm another hour, after that we might have to eat again.
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Who built the Pyramids?
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We need to complete the circuit or we're screwed.
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- Oh my God, they've killed Kenny! - You bastards!
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- Terminated? - Well yes, that's what an abortion is.
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Where's the little fat boy? He'll be delighted that Mephesto is awake.
Aired 19 years ago - Apr 01, 1998

The show starts off with the build up from last season's cliffhanger revolving around Cartman's paternal origins. However, just as it seems they are about to get on with the second half of "Cartman's Mom Is A Dirty Slut," they do a 180 degree turn-around and reveal that for April Fool's Day they will be showing Terrance & Phillip in "Not Without My Anus." MORE -LESS

Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 1
No, because I hate you. You think farting is soo funny, well it isn't!
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- Wow, Scott really hates us Phillip. - Yes, perhaps he's homophobic.
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Say Phillip, why does Scott always try to convict me of murder? He does it every week.
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- Hello? - Hello, is this Scott from Canada?
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- Just call me your old pal, Saddam Hussein. - Saddam Hussein, the Iraqi dictator?!?
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Besides, it's not what's on the outside that matters, it's what's on the inside.
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If they can't see how horribly disfigured you are, they'll want to sleep with you.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 9
I'm going to put on a pirate costume.
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No, it's Sally, she's being held captive in Iran.
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My God, what a fascinating story Terrance, especially the part aboot Celine Dion.
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- Hello Celine Dion. - Terrance, this is quite a surprise.
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Please, bring our daughter home safe, Terrance.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 14
Damnit man. Danger or no, I'm going to help my friend find his daughter.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 15
O Canada! Our home and native land!
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From far and wide, O Canada,
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 17
Yes, everything's proceeding according to plan.
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- Oh good. - Who, where?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 20
I feel like going to Celine Dion's house and asking her to marry me again.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 21
How could Canada have changed so much whilst we were gone?
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 22
You've got a man over, don't you Celine Dion?
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Huh, oh that? Don't worry guy, you just need a rest.
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Mr. Hussein, the U.S. Government is becoming worried.
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- I'm from Iraq. - Iran, Iraq, what's the difference.
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- Saddam, Terrance and Phillip are back in Canada. - Oh, really?
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Oh look, here's a show.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 31
When asked if he would uphold his side of the agreement,
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 32
- That fart sounded like a ringing phone Terrance. - It sure did, Phillip.
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- You're a dick. - You're a dick.
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- Oh wait, I have another call Scott. Can you hang on? - Sure.
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- Maybe the baby will have your face instead of mine.
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All I need is for Celine Dion to sing our Iranian national anthem at the game,
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 38
Oh, good idea. Let's search for treasure.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 39
- What do you mean? - It's your fault that he's here.
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go to the game and sacrifice your lives to take out Saddam's minions.
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Well, Phillip, I'm very sad that we have to die for Canada.
Recap of South Park Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 42
Terrance, get the phone book, we must call every Canadian we can.
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put your feet up 'cause those dogs are barking.
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You will bow down to me as your ruler. You will obey my laws or you will be killed.
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- We did it Phillip, we destroyed the Turks. - Oh, glorious day.
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Hey, what the hell happened, you were supposed to be blown up.
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You're right Terrance, you're right.
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From far and wide, O Canada,