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South Park

S9 E12
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Season 9  "Trapped in the Closet"  9x12

Aired 18 years ago - Nov 16, 2005

Religious leaders recognize Stan as the second coming and a whole soap opera unfolds with the help of a famous R&B singer. The results of Stan’s personality test reveal that he’s depressed. While Stan looks to a new religion for answers, the church leaders recognize Stan as the second coming. Some A-List Hollywood celebrities join the faithful who have set up camp right in front of Stan’s house.

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Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 1
It's very simple. We just need two hundred and forty dollars.
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 2
Two hundred and forty dollars?! What'd you do, break something?!
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 3
What if I become suicidal, or, or become an alcoholic like Grandpa?
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 4
Michelle, our friend Stan wants to have auditing.
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 5
You see, Stan, scientology was founded
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 6
It's the main tool of Scientology.
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 7
to get rid of their negative emotions.
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 8
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 9
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 10
The E-meter results from the little boy in Room D.
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 11
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 12
Sir?
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 13
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 14
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 15
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 16
We've been looking for your son for a long time, Mr. Marsh.
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 17
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 18
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 19
It really is you!
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 20
Well-h. I mean, you're not like as good as Leonardo di Caprio,
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 21
Dude, this is my rooom!
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 22
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 23
Just leave me alone!
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 24
Tom Cruise, this is Park County police!
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 25
We're still not exactly sure why Tom Cruise is in the closet
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 26
and so I pull out my gun!
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 27
Yes. But he was also a prophet...
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 28
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 29
you have to be in the church for several years, Stan.
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 30
which was ruled over by the evil Lord Xenu.
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 31
The frozen alien bodies were loaded onto Xenu's galactic cruisers
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 32
and all floated up towards the sky.
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 33
There the souls were forced to watch days of brainwashing material
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 34
which still to this day causes all our fears
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 35
Neither did L. Ron when he started.
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 36
Tom? Tom, It's Nicole.
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 37
I'm not gonna think any differently of you.
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 38
Tom, you can't hide forever just because
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 39
I can't. I'm writing a new sacred doctrine for my church.
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 40
Those are rumors put out by people
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 41
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 42
Tom, you've gotta come out of the closet. Oh my Gahd.
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 43
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 44
Here with more details once again, is R. Kelly.
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 45
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 46
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 47
Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 48
and I thought YOU were smart enough to see what was really going on!
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 49
and you and I together will make three million dollars!
 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 50

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 2
Two hundred and forty dollars?! What'd you do, break something?!
#2 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 3
What if I become suicidal, or, or become an alcoholic like Grandpa?
#3 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 4
Michelle, our friend Stan wants to have auditing.
#4 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 5
You see, Stan, scientology was founded
#5 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 6
It's the main tool of Scientology.
#6 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 7
to get rid of their negative emotions.
#7 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 8 #8 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 9 #9 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 10
The E-meter results from the little boy in Room D.
#10 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 11 #11 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 12
Sir?
#12 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 13 #13 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 14 #14 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 15 #15 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 16
We've been looking for your son for a long time, Mr. Marsh.
#16 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 17 #17 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 18 #18 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 19
It really is you!
#19 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 20
Well-h. I mean, you're not like as good as Leonardo di Caprio,
#20 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 21
Dude, this is my rooom!
#21 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 22 #22 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 23
Just leave me alone!
#23 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 24
Tom Cruise, this is Park County police!
#24 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 25
We're still not exactly sure why Tom Cruise is in the closet
#25 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 26
and so I pull out my gun!
#26 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 27
Yes. But he was also a prophet...
#27 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 28 #28 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 29
you have to be in the church for several years, Stan.
#29 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 30
which was ruled over by the evil Lord Xenu.
#30 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 31
The frozen alien bodies were loaded onto Xenu's galactic cruisers
#31 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 32
and all floated up towards the sky.
#32 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 33
There the souls were forced to watch days of brainwashing material
#33 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 34
which still to this day causes all our fears
#34 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 35
Neither did L. Ron when he started.
#35 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 36
Tom? Tom, It's Nicole.
#36 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 37
I'm not gonna think any differently of you.
#37 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 38
Tom, you can't hide forever just because
#38 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 39
I can't. I'm writing a new sacred doctrine for my church.
#39 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 40
Those are rumors put out by people
#40 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 41 #41 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 42
Tom, you've gotta come out of the closet. Oh my Gahd.
#42 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 43 #43 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 44
Here with more details once again, is R. Kelly.
#44 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 45 #45 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 46 #46 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 47 #47 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 48
and I thought YOU were smart enough to see what was really going on!
#48 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 49
and you and I together will make three million dollars!
#49 Recap of South Park Season 9 Episode 12 (S09E12) - 50 #50