Lois books a fun couple’s vacation in the Bahamas. But, much to Peter’s surprise, it turns out to be a marriage counseling program instead. Meanwhile, Carter watches the kids at home and becomes frustrated that they’re too into their electronics to play games the old-fashioned way. So he tries to fix it himself.
Peter claims he would beat Liam Neeson (guest voice Liam Neeson) in a fight, but when he is put to the test, he learns that winning is tougher than it seems. Meanwhile, Stewie becomes jealous when Lois decides to be a class mom and starts paying more attention to the other kids over him.
Peter befriends a group of mean girls after his feelings are hurt when his so-called friends decide to “roast” him. Lois, all too familiar with the gossipy nature of women, tells Peter they are probably talking about him behind his back, and Peter soon discovers that Lois may be right.
After attending obedience school, Brian becomes much more submissive, and Peter realizes he misses his old, feistier pal. Meanwhile, Chris makes a new friend at school, but feels betrayed when he discovers it was all a ploy to get closer to Meg.
Peter becomes a town hero for accidentally finding a missing boy. Meanwhile, Joe decides to live life to the fullest by quitting his job and taking a road trip to Niagara Falls with Peter, Quagmire and Cleveland.
Meg gets a new job at the airport, where she's instantly popular for being the hottest employee there. Meanwhile, Cleveland becomes a therapist and starts giving Peter and Lois relationship advice, but Peter quickly becomes frustrated and threatens to tell Donna a big secret about what went down at Cleveland's bachelor party.
Brian decides he doesn't want to hang out with Stewie anymore, so Stewie tries to save their relationship by having a baby ... or seven ... by using Brian's DNA to impregnate himself. Meanwhile, Peter, Joe, Quagmire and Cleveland attempt to make a viral video.
Peter, Quagmire, Joe and Cleveland form a neighborhood detective agency, and are stunned to discover that Chris is a thief. Meanwhile, Lois is worried about Chris' delusional relationship with his new girlfriend, but also sees it as an opportunity for Peter to copy Chris' romantic gestures.
Lois takes Peter to open a checking account, and they discover that his first name is actually Justin, which Peter adopts as the name of his younger "bro"-style alter-ego. Then, Peter/Justin throws a party, during which Quagmire unknowingly gets into some trouble with his mother.
Meg is thrilled to be recruited as a model, but it turns out to be for a very specific type of modeling: the foot-fetish industry. Meanwhile, Brian accompanies Stewie on an open-road adventure when Stewie decides he wants to experience life outside of preschool.
Meg convinces Brian to take the SAT's for her, but when he tests poorly, they start to suspect that Brian might not that smart after all. Peter decides to spend the day showing Brian the joys of being stupid and the benefits of having a low IQ.
To help Chris ace his ninth grade history class, Stewie and Brian employ the time travel machine for educational purposes. Not surprisingly, all three get stuck in the past.
After running into Jesus at the Quahog Mall, Peter is stunned to discover that the Son of God is still a virgin. So, he enlists Quagmire and Cleveland to help him throw Jesus the best birthday ever by finding a way to help him become a man.
On the night before Thanksgiving, Brian and Peter drunkenly devour the holiday bird, and then must go out to find a replacement. In Peter absence, Chris attempts to step up and become the man of the house.
Brian's cosmetic surgery leads him down a new career path as a real estate agent, which gets him into trouble with Quagmire.
Lois and Peter open a cookie store, but things take a bad turn when he devises an interesting way to scare up customers.
Joe's dream of becoming a published author nears fruition when Peter decides to help him, but a happy ending doesn't appear possible when Peter begins monopolizing the writing duties. Meanwhile, Brian experiences his first runner's high, which turns him into an exercise beast in an attempt to re-create that euphoric feeling.
The Griffins travel through Springfield, where they meet The Simpsons - who greet their new "albino" friends with open arms. Homer and Peter debate which is the better beer, Bart shows Stewie some classic pranks, Lisa attempts to find Meg's talent, while Marge and Lois become bosom buddies.
