Status
Ended
Network
ABC (US)
SEASON
EPISODE

Season 3

Aired 11 years ago - May 23, 2012

Gloria's bilingualism comes in handy on Mitchell and Cameron's quest to adopt another child. Meanwhile, Jay and Manny help Lily get ready for a dance recital. Alex goes to her first prom, and Haley announces her future plans, which come as a shock to her family.

Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 1
For your information,
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 2
And obviously, work at the GAP.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 3
I've been avoiding that on menus for years.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 4
Guys, you wanna take our charcuterie for the road?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 5
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 6
Sí. Van a estar esperando su llamada, muchísimas gracias.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 7
Ay, yes, of course! I would love to! Thank you! Thank you!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 8
Ciao, Jay! Ciao, Manny! I see you later, okay?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 9
No, no, no. Arms down here says, "I'm white and I'm sorry,"
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 10
I stopped by the grocery store to get some stuff for dinner.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 11
And his name is me.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 12
It's a model of a plane that was built for Amelia Earhart.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 13
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 14
Wait! Wait, wait!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 15
Look what it does for your skin.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 16
Cheese.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 17
Ay, please stop driving the car like a snake.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 18
You know, like, "that bed's a double-pigger."
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 19
but the hooker ended up being his long lost sister,
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 20
I'm sorry, sweetie. I'm just sad you're missing it.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 21
were totally laughing with us.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 22
will always have that night.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 23
I'm in. Just give me a heads-up.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 24
- Um... - Listen...
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 25
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 26
El bebé nació hace media hora y se encuentra perfectamente de salud.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 27
He was 7 pounds, 4 ounces, with thick hair and brown eyes.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 28
I don't know. The priest comes with great warning.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 29
en vez de a ti como su amante.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 30
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 31
Lily's dance is not up to the standard
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 32
I think one of you should talk to her.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 33
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 34
That's good, right?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 35
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 36
I'm totally getting my life together.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 37
But then...
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 38
is not gonna take its toll on that body and that face,
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 39
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 40
Don't worry. I got your back, buddy. That's not gonna happen.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 41
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 42
Yes, I am alive.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 43
C-can we please just see our baby?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 44
She's saying that she's going to raise the baby.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 45
wandering toothless and alone in a postapocalyptic wasteland.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 46
This came yesterday.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 47
I don't care.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 48
- Really? - Yeah.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 49
- Hey, buddy. - Mr. D.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24 (S03E24) - 50
I'm going to get something for my stomach.
Aired 11 years ago - May 16, 2012

Gloria and Jay bicker while trying to order lunch at a diner. Claire and Cam have different theories on how to discipline kids. Luke accepts an award under false pretenses. Phil has a hard time firing Mitchell from his temporary job at the real estate agency. The entire family participates in Alex's living art display of Norman Rockwell's Thanksgiving painting. MORE -LESS

Aired 11 years ago - May 09, 2012

When the family travels to Disneyland, Phil struggles to keep up with Luke, Claire is shocked when they run into Dylan, Jay and Gloria disagree about what are sensible shoes for the day, and Mitch and Cam must contain Lily's new affinity for running.

Aired 11 years ago - May 02, 2012

Phil buys a car without consulting Claire. Jay is on a mission to get to his high-school reunion with Gloria and Manny. Lily loses her favorite toy on a train.

Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 1
I played high school football with.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 2
This one's showier. This one's more expensive.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 3
Who's your daddy?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 4
and dates a girl who works at forever 21,
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 5
Alex, be nice to your sister. It's dad's car, not yours.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 6
At least that's what I heard. You know, I was there
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 7
Just surprised you didn't get the sedan, that's all.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 8
Uh, do you need a ride or anything? No. No, no,
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 9
Cam. Cam. Hmm?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 10
And you never will.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 11
Oh, yeah. In that case, I'm 275.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 12
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 13
Is this car has the engine in the trunk,
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 14
to pick her up on the way to the open house,
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 15
I have no game. You're an adult. You can make your own choices.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 16
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 17
I've heard you sing. I think you're safe.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 18
This never would have happened if we were in the air!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 19
How about this one? Okay. Um...
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 20
I'm sorry. I shouldn't be so critical.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 21
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 22
Yeah, 'cause other people might go and buy a crazy car
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 23
Maybe I was a teeny bit mad.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 24
and we can't get parts for at least a day.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 25
We're gonna miss the whole weekend. I am sorry, Jay.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 26
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 27
Gloria, it's either this, or we're in the motel.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 28
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 29
Turtle or giraffe
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 30
Lily, uh, what about Miss, uh, Teddy Bear?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 31
and I dribbled it past Michael and got it to Tyler...
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 32
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 33
You're like Sigourney Weaver in "Gorillas in the Mist."
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 34
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 35
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 36
And didn't it make you stronger?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 37
Not a damn thing. Nope.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 38
Home-challenged? Or...
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 39
Fine.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 40
I-I can't... oh, for God's sake!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 41
This is not the massage I had in mind.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 42
No high-heeled shoes. And it wouldn't be wrong
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 43
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 44
You know what? I'm taking Manny home.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 45
I may have exaggerated the size... kahuna I was.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 46
But you always made it sound like you--
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 47
So this is all about you
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 48
Manny! We're leaving! Get ready!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 49
Whatcha doing all the way up here?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 21 (S03E21) - 50
Without me? Mm-hmm.
Aired 11 years ago - Apr 18, 2012

A visit from Cameron's father features an awkward dinner for Jay and Gloria at Mitchell and Cameron's house. Claire helps Luke face the death of an older neighbor, Phil and Alex have a father-daughter bonding experience. Haley throws a party without permission.

Aired 11 years ago - Apr 11, 2012

Claire's race for town council comes to a head on Election Day as the Dunphys make phone calls for votes and Mitchell and Cameron take to the streets to campaign, while the candidate endures technical problems during some last-minute interviews.

Aired 12 years ago - Mar 14, 2012

Cameron is reunited with his estranged ex-clown partner, Lewis. Phil is serious about landing a very important listing, only to be trumped by a notorious bulldozer of an agent, Mitzi Roth. Manny has a cool new friend, which makes both Jay and Gloria suspicious.

Aired 12 years ago - Feb 29, 2012

Mitchell feels pressured to make Cameron's birthday extra special. People start to question Jay's manliness, and the girls interfere with Phil's leap day plans.

Aired 12 years ago - Feb 22, 2012

It's a day of disturbing realizations when Mitchell manages to ruin one of Jay's proudest golf moments, Phil overhears something that may forever change how he sees his little girl, and Gloria stumbles upon Claire's dangerous little secret.

Aired 12 years ago - Feb 15, 2012

Phil and Claire go overboard with drinks, and divulging personal information, on a night out to celebrate the sale of a house to Mitchell and Cameron's friends.

Aired 12 years ago - Feb 08, 2012

Phil's preoccupation with a business opportunity blinds him to his new partner's inappropriate behavior around Claire. Jay and Gloria may regret letting Mitchell and Cameron be their temporary house guests when their home is being fumigated.

Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 1
but my crew gave me the 411 on that skank and she's all about the bling-bling.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 2
He's just talking street. Lots of kids do it.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 3
I'd never tell her how disgusted I was with her cooking, but somehow I think she knew.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 4
I awoke several hours later in a daze.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 5
"It hurts like a bitch that I did last night
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 6
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 7
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 8
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 9
Chris starts with all this "Yo, yo, yo" stuff, and I don't know what he's talkin' about.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 10
We haven't spent time together since we played Operation.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 11
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 12
Archaeological evidence shows Ireland was very different before the discovery of alcohol.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 13
Hey, Michael McCloud's just invented a new kind of beverage.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 14
That's more like it, son. Today we're gonna learn about the Griffin family history.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 15
Way to go, son. Here's a picture of your great-great-granddad, Osias Griffin.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 16
Thomas, would you please go look for a job?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 17
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 18
"So I took her head and stuck it by my butt and blew a huge fart right back at her. "
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 19
I gotta tell Bonnie I'm sleeping with a black man!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 20
I'm telling you, Juice, she's screwin' around behind your back.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 21
Have yet to discover the secret of their mind-control powers.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 22
- I've found out I have a black ancestor. - Is that right? That's fantastic, Peter.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 23
- Wheelie time! Yee-hah! - Aaargh!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 24
Yeah, that's right. Y'all know that Exxon Valdez thing? That ain't how it happened.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 25
Although I think Connie Chung might've been substituting for him that night.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 26
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 27
Well, I should probably be saddlin' up now.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 28
You're the cheerleading squad's token blimp!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 29
from the family that enslaved my ancestors.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 30
- Hey, why is he taking one? - This is my friend Peter Griffin.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 31
I was there when George and Weezy moved on up to the East Side.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 32
And when Arnold Jackson got beat up by the Gooch, I was there.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 33
Way to go, Peter! You tell it like it is!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 34
They surprised us with a visit after I told them about your recent discovery.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 35
I think Chris and Meg should know the Pewterschmidt side of their ancestry too.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 36
Nothing. Just some fellow we fed and took care of in exchange for doing a few chores.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 37
Lois, your family owned my family!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 38
Argh!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 39
"Every four weeks, it's entirely normal for every young woman to... "
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 40
Cindi is definitely the alpha of the group.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 41
I say! Nice ones, Jeanine.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 42
It's a dashiki. And don't call me Peter. That's my slave name. Call me Kichwa Tembo.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 43
- What are you talking about? - I want an apology and Rice Krispie treats.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 44
Screw the "Kichwa". Make it out to "Peter", P-E-T-E...
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 45
Hey, from down there, does it look like I'm talking into a bunch of robot penises?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 46
"It's a crazy, messed-up place where anything can happen
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 47
- OK, say it. - Mekka lekka hi... God, I hate you so much.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 48
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 49
So it's agreed: We'll keep on pretending to like pigs' feet just to confound the white man.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 14 (S03E14) - 50
But... that's not true.
Aired 12 years ago - Jan 18, 2012

Claire prepares for her debate with Duane Bailey. Mitch and Cam try to clean up Lily's language before her turn as a flower girl. Jay blames Stella's strange behavior on Gloria.

Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 1
Figure out what he likes and study up on it.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 2
"I'd be more apathetic if I weren't so lethargic. "
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 3
Oh, I get it. That's kind of funny. Yeah, can I have a copy of Jugs?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 4
I'll be right back. I gotta go take a wicked "yes".
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 5
- No, you didn't. It's still dripping. - I'll give you all my Star Wars cards if it is.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 6
- Oh, my. - Do we... do we rub his nose in it?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 7
I know. It's just, I should be able to control my baser instincts,
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 8
I said, I know the guy that... Oh, I'll tell you later. I love this song.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 9
We now return to "World's Sluttiest Dogs" on Fox.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 10
I know someone who's getting a gift certificate for liposuction in her stocking.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 11
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 12
- What is she? A 45-footer? - Peter, I didn't know you were a sailor.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 13
- And this is a '74 Pinot Noir. - Mmm, lovely.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 14
I'm glad. It seems like everybody's having a lot of fun.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 15
He walks up to the premier of China and says "Dong, where is my automobile?"
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 16
Oh, no. Head-hunters. Am I fired?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 17
Carrot Top, uh... Sean Hayes... Oh, you get the picture.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 18
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 19
- Oh... That is... - Is that something?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 20
Peter's an anti-trust lawyer with the Justice Department.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 21
- Are aces high or low? - They go both ways.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 22
You can beat him, Mr Pewterschmidt. He's bluffing.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 23
You disgust me! Get out of my face!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 24
Me too. I gotta be at Disneyland. We're ethnically cleansing the Small World ride.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 25
- What's a quarter? - Well, we gotta give him something.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 26
- Ohh... - Think about that.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 27
- Wow. - I actually had a good time with you tonight.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 28
- Having fun, Peter? - I put all my poker winnings on your dog.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 29
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 30
No, he's awkwardly positioning himself... Now he's violating Sea Breeze.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 31
You had better not have ruined my race dog.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 32
But, unfortunately, not for another nine weeks. She's pregnant.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 33
I am gonna go back in time and stop Brian from getting it on with your dog.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 34
See. I made a picture of you and me out of glue and macaroni.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 35
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 36
We're going to see Bobby Darin at the Copa tomorrow, right, Charlie?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 37
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 38
- Oh, really? Anything nice? - No.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 39
- Let's call Pewterschmidt. - Let's take the jet packs.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 40
the whereabouts of Sea Breeze, the heiress to the Pewterschmidt fortune.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 41
out to destroy his brother's reputation.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 42
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 43
He can't hear you. Besides, it's not him that's getting to me, it's your father.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 44
I'm gonna sue your dad for custody!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 45
- You're just having your period. - This court will now come to order.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 46
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 47
- Aah... - Waa!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 48
Pauly Shore!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 49
There, I just saved you two long boobless hours.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 13 (S03E13) - 50
But first I want you to testify against that horny mutt of yours.
Aired 12 years ago - Jan 11, 2012

Jay and Claire take control of their kids' school projects from Manny and Luke, while Haley and Gloria help Phil with a real estate presentation. Cam and Mitchell meet with a potential birth mother.

Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 1
You deserve a fighting chance.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 2
The point is, I'm not helping,
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 3
- Really? - Mm-hmm.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 4
he did not attend.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 5
Think! Think... to do. Thinking... I am,
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 6
Hey, Gloria? Quick favor.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 7
if I was helping my kid and didn't want me to know.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 8
Like this. Look.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 9
You don't wanna have sex, but you do want a baby.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 10
My theory is, a fish is a fish.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 11
Oh, really? You didn't need help carrying six scones?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 12
Very good. Now let's get out there,
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 13
I was wondering,
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 14
Fire the confetti cannon, drop the banner,
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 15
Is it okay?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 16
Oh, yes. This is wonderful for conversation.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 17
Just be warned-- there's some furniture in there
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 18
Oh, well, you're preaching to the choir.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 19
- Okay. - Great.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 20
Mm. Yes, I saw.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 21
Huh. His latest test run, he dropped it off the roof,
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 22
Oh, well, you know, after so many landed safely,
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 23
we're gonna test it later today at the school.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 24
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 25
♪ Nobody knows it ♪
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 26
♪ I won't go breaking your heart ♪
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 27
Well, I think he was following my lead.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 28
Why did you have to do your toes, too?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 29
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 30
of residential real estate...
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 31
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 32
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 33
Let me just call the cab company.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 34
Yeah, I know, we're not supposed to have favorites.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 35
Okay. I shouldn't even be giving you this hint, but...
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 36
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 37
Oh, hey, I think we're all tired of that sound.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 38
about this mysterious sixth key.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 39
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 40
In fact I don't think I need to interview any more people.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 41
But what you're not saying is wonderful!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 42
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 43
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, no, I just want you to stay ♪
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 44
because she decided to keep it.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 45
Okay. What's done is done.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 46
We came late and we ruined your whole presentation.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 47
supposed to treat each other!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 48
You yell at me because you love me!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 49
That's a pretty nice piece of handiwork
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 12 (S03E12) - 50
Great. So we both win.
Aired 12 years ago - Jan 04, 2012

Phil contemplates the worst after missing a call from the doctor. Javier, Manny's biological father, pays another visit to take his son to the horse races, Mitchell wins an environmental law award, creating a competition between Cam and himself on who has the better trophy. Gloria tutors Haley in Spanish.

Aired 12 years ago - Dec 07, 2011

The family puts together a quick Christmas celebration when they realize they won't be together on the actual day.

Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 1
Until next year,you mean.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 2
God,has that thing paid for itself.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 3
Won't be christmas with it. It's december 16th.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 4
Express christmas will be done by 9:00.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 5
Come on,haley. It'll be fun. A lot of fun. We can go to target. Okay?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 6
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 7
I know you are. Stay on the beams.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 8
Ay,that's nice.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 9
I don't hear the difference.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 10
Ugh. There's like a hundred things on this list.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 11
All the training,the hours of dedication...
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 12
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 13
Yes. Thank you. Thank you.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 14
and we just got a shipment that might be perfect for you.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 15
December 16th.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 16
You bet you will.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 17
do you have any more tape in that thing?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 18
That's a lot of tape. Nobody can get in.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 19
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 20
which is ironic because it's so tiny?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 21
Yeah. Um... On that boat.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 22
I mean,we watched our first football game together five years ago,
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 23
Fine. We'll put a cork in it.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 24
Okay. Where do we stand?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 25
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 26
I also got the doll,so I'm all set. I'm gonna leave in five.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 27
Too late to change my mind?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 28
And... One more pack of gum.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 29
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 30
That's how craigslist works.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 31
Can I see the cash?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 32
Come on. It's christmas... At our house. It's a long story.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 33
Now it is.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 34
I think he said,"a butterball's a turkey." I was reaching for the turkey.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 35
Joe dimaggio.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 36
Fair condit - Garbage.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 37
And it smells like mothballs,just like nana.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 38
- The tree! - I can't watch!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 39
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 40
Check it.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 41
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 42
This is it.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 43
Now stick it in the top of the tree with the good part facing out. Come on.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 44
but that's okay 'cause we are gonna put it back together.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 45
If you get real close,they look like turkeys,and everyone gets their own.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 46
Phil!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 47
and we'll just push dinner back by a bit.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 48
Probably by the same maniac who ran over the tree.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 49
- I'm going to my party. - No,no. No,you're not.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 10 (S03E10) - 50
No! Nobody goes anywhere.
Aired 12 years ago - Nov 23, 2011

An old neighborhood kid returning to town as a internet billionaire gets Phil thinking of what could have been. Jay feels Manny could use some constructive criticism, Cameron is offended when Mitchell questions the authenticity of his colorful childhood stories.

Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 1
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 2
- 7.30, 8.00? - Fabulous! What shall I bring?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 3
- Pit. - Pit. Come on, it's my first day.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 4
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 5
- Chris! - And I'm Liesl.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 6
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 7
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 8
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 9
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 10
Bam!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 11
Our original name was Bermuda Grass.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 12
Brian, quit it. You're embarrassing me.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 13
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 14
Ah. Peter, it's OK. It's just Death.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 15
in the home of an employee who claims Weed choked on a roll.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 16
Ech, who hasn't done her? Do her.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 17
until he can find a way to control the raging spirit that dwells within him.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 18
Isn't that right, Saul? "Yes, sir. " Thank you.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 19
Good morning. Camera time.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 20
Hello, friends. If you are watching this, I am dead, and I bet you're pretty bummed.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 21
OK, we've got your typing test here
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 22
I only have another week and a half here, and I have completely checked out.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 23
Sorry, we're out of towels. Let me get that for you, sir.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 24
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 25
He's sampling a few things, searching for something that fits him just right.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 26
Yes, you go to Maple Street, and then take a left, and then you go...
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 27
He was so forgetful, whenever he tried to remember a name, he drew a... "blank".
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 28
Sell some stuff we don't really need.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 29
- Really? - Yes!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 30
Oh, Peter!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 31
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 32
Nah, not really. It kinda all goes back to when I was 18.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 33
But at that time, I was ready to believe anything.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 34
I was saved by the one and only Black Knight of the Quahog Renaissance Fair.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 35
I took so many, I thought I was Mr Peanut.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 36
You're a candy-ass maggot!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 37
- Welcome, apprentices. - It's him.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 38
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 39
- OK, I'll come back later. - Damn rookies.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 40
Hey, you! Drunkie.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 41
If I'm gonna impress the Black Knight, my lance must be with me at all times.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 42
Oh, thou wishest to feast on the appendage of a humble ovine.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 43
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 44
Uh, sure. Whatever floats your boat.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 45
Oh, God! Peter, play dead! Curl up in an ass ball or something!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 46
OK, that's much clearer.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 47
Did you just say "big meat"?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 48
I'll be watching him from the stands,
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 49
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 9 (S03E09) - 50
Aired 12 years ago - Nov 16, 2011

The Pritchetts rally for a good cause after a neighbor's house burns down, but there's a downside when Jay throws out his back, Cameron takes on a moving truck, and some donated toys fall into the wrong hands.

Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 1
We all know Captain Picard is the superior officer.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 2
There's a law against teaching the evolutionary theory
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 3
Oh, my God! That's Tom Tucker from the news.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 4
- Better hurry up, Mr Tucker. - I'm coming.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 5
In other news, school board elections took place last evening.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 6
Hi, Meg. You know how cute I think you are.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 7
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 8
A phony lives here. A big fat phony!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 9
Those chowderheads on the corner busted your stones.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 10
- I thought she was dead. - She's alive.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 11
and produce your own on-air report.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 12
I guess so.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 13
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 14
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 15
- Give it to me! Give it to me, Neil. - Yeah. That'll work just fine.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 16
Here's where we produce our celebrity interviews.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 17
- Uh-oh. Twelve minutes to Wapner. - I understand your hectic schedule.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 18
This'll be more exciting than when Brian taught me about Columbus.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 19
Columbus discovered America entirely by mistake.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 20
- Go, Stewie! - Yay, Stewie!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 21
Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, it makes my heart burst.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 22
I'm sorry, but there's a handsome man in my spoon. Come back later.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 23
I added something to your coffee I don't think you're gonna like.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 24
- It's cool. Too cool for you. - No, no. I think it's right where I'm at.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 25
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 26
Mr Tucker, has anyone ever told you your eyes are...
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 27
This is Peter. You know what to do.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 28
That means you'll get to ride in the news chopper. I'm so jealous.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 29
Dan Rather thinks he can condense a whole day's events into a half-hour.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 30
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 31
I never got the chance to be some drunk college guy's last resort!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 32
Time to sign off.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 33
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 34
Hugh Downs away!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 35
but the real story was inside the mouths of Meg Griffin and Neil Goldman,
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 36
and begin life anew as Meil.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 37
You don't know anything about me!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 38
I'm here to turn myself in. I have a dismembered hooker bleeding in my trunk.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 39
- Where did you get that shirt? - From Neil.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 40
Oh, don't be afraid of the fire, Meg. I won't let you burn.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 41
Luckily, we're running a special for the next 17 minutes.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 42
I could probably just do some push-ups at home.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 43
- What's going on here? - We invited Neil's family over for dinner.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 44
My name is Chris.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 45
I remember when Muriel and I had our first kiss, and it was just awful.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 46
And the other children, they were very nasty to me.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 47
Please flush the toilet twice.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 48
But then it dawned on me. Your cruelty merely stems from a deep-seated inner pain.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 49
We go to Meg Griffin for a special Channel Five junior anchor segment on the moon.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 8 (S03E08) - 50
Recently, many of you saw me kissing this freak of nature.
Aired 12 years ago - Nov 02, 2011

Gloria persuades Jay to commit to a night of salsa dancing after seeing how much his friend Shorty and his girlfriend do together. Cameron makes a bet that he can get a woman's phone number at the bar. Phil builds a tree house for Luke.

Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 1
If it ain't funny, it ain't worth Jack.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 2
Who do you think you're talking to? God ain't tougher than me.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 3
- Can we move this along? - Patriots suck.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 4
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 5
Like Julie Andrews in that movie where she showed her breasts.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 6
Watch where you're going. Horace, put the Pats game on the TV and get me a few beers.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 7
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 8
- Sure. - Transvestite! Back off.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 9
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 10
And look who I had for dessert. Asexual former mayor Ed Koch. Pah!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 11
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 12
- That was lame. - Poor Peter.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 13
Come one, come all. She floats like a butterfly and stings like when I pee.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 14
Come on, Chris. We'll have to go to plan B.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 15
He's teaching a class. I can't bother him now.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 16
- I want you in my advanced class. - Advanced class? No, no, no.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 17
If you hurry, I'll let you try on hats. I won't let you buy, but you can try 'em on.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 18
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 19
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 20
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 21
Nobody walks all over me. Those days are over. Lois Griffin demands respect.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 22
That's Randy, and that's Fred. Randy is the messy one. Fred's very neat.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 23
Now stay that way.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 24
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 25
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 26
Excuse me, New Yorker. You're in my seat, and I had sex with your mother last night.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 27
Jets suck, Yankees suck, Knicks suck.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 28
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 29
- Kathy, get in there with Lois. - I can't. I have cramps.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 30
- The bond is broken. - Then spin the wheel, raggedy man!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 31
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 32
This is mine. This is where my babies come from.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 33
Lois, I was watching that.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 34
Whoa! What the hell are you doing? Those are my graham crackers.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 35
- Good Lord. - I just want you to know, Brian, I didn't cry.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 36
This is my fault! I brought violence into this house!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 37
OK, and now a word from our sponsors.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 38
Stewart, take this mommy doll and daddy doll and show me how they act together.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 39
those hammocky deposits of gin sugars you call buttocks?"
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 40
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 41
I... I know who's responsible for Stewie's behaviour,
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 42
Well, there seems to be a lot of anger in your household.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 43
- Don't censure me! - No more anger!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 44
"Lgnore her and only listen to me - Peter. "
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 45
"I'm the dog. I'm well-read and have a diverse stock portfolio,
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 46
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 47
"Dear Meg. For the first four years of your life, I thought you were a house cat. " Dad!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 48
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 49
We're not taking pills. It's not natural.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 7 (S03E07) - 50
That was fun. What country shall we do next?
Aired 12 years ago - Oct 19, 2011

Phil takes Haley to visit his alma mater. Claire goes out with Mitchell and Cameron. Gloria and Jay may have to broach a delicate subject with Manny.

Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 1
Screw that. I busted my ass keeping Lois busy so I could be here. Grip it and rip it.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 2
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 3
- Mom, I found Dad's first clue. - I can't believe your father organised this.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 4
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 5
I'll kick his ass. Someone ought to kick his ass.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 6
- We'll be in the clubhouse. - Go on, run away. More golf course for me.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 7
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 8
Oh, yeah. Thank God I get to hang out with a fascinating gent like yourself.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 9
My, this is certainly a beautiful night. I love looking at stars.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 10
- Come on. Give Arte Johnson a kiss. - Peter, stop it. I mean it!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 11
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 12
I've never met a guy like you. You're so full of life.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 13
I can't believe I thought that looked good. I must've been high.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 14
I can't until you have a revelation. One of those things that changes your life.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 15
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 16
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 17
And now it appears there's a woman chasing the dogs.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 18
The Shadow is in reality Lamont Cranston, wealthy young man.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 19
- Sorry, Ma. - Is sorry gonna reheat the casserole?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 20
Oh, yeah. I'll tell you, Lois's dad was a pain in the ass when I met him.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 21
Take the rap for this. I only get one chance to make a first impression.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 22
And I'm taken with her. I mean, look at her. Huh? Show us front and back there, Lois.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 23
Are we talking a slope or full-blown fried eggs hanging on a nail?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 24
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 25
We were just about to sing a song about mopping.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 26
Ma, for God's sake, leave me alone! I'm working!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 27
How romantic. Why can't you find a nice girl?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 28
- I don't have skin! - That's cos you didn't eat your beans!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 29
But too late. Oh, and by the way, when the lightning hit you, you soiled yourself. Enjoy.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 30
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 31
Death, will you relax? The beach is a perfect place to pick up chicks.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 32
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 33
You have to counterbalance the weight at the point where the lever pivots. Like so.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 34
What was I thinking? You don't know anything about picking up chicks.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 35
- How about now? - Your crotch just looks like Lois to me.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 36
That one's a feminist type, she's into he-men,
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 37
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 38
Sorry. That's Edward James Olmos. Here, this is her.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 39
Mom, hurry! I can't stand the smell!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 40
- There she is. That's her. - All right, go on. Just like we practised.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 41
I'll, uh... This is a bad time.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 42
Thanks, Quagmire. Hope you live next door to me someday.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 43
Nothing's too far away from Maxine, the cheatin' queen. Women.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 44
Holy crap! Do you see what I see?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 45
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 46
- Sure. I get off at two. - Great! Great! I'll meet you here.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 47
- What are you doing here? - Loretta's mom was hankering for a snack,
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 48
Oh, boy. You just put Peter in the doghouse, which is where your mother...
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 49
She's just gonna be glad to see you. That's how it was with Lois.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 6 (S03E06) - 50
- Hi, Mr Pewterschmidt. - What are you doing here?
Aired 12 years ago - Oct 12, 2011

Gloria tries to help Jay and Manny with their problems but both are unreceptive. Claire considers running against Councilman Duane Bailey. Cam and Mitch are the victims of a hit-and-run accident.

Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 1
I remember the first time Kevin beat me. I was so proud,
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 2
Apparently, you're a 12-year-old prepubescent girl.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 3
- Is it pixie dust or leprechaun tails? - No, it's a tumour.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 4
The end result of a drunken backseat gropefest and a broken prophylactic?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 5
Way to go, Stewie. Chris, I'll see your fork and raise you a gravy ladle.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 6
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 7
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 8
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 9
and she's all "Don't forget your halftime routine. "
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 10
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 11
I demand to know what you plan to do about this. Hey!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 12
- Hi, Meg. - Hi, Meg.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 13
- They've held hands all night. - I mean Meg.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 14
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 15
No foul?! Oh, that's a stupid call! And I know something about stupid calls.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 16
- No. - Now I'm at the office.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 17
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 18
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 19
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 20
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 21
Win your enemies over with unflappable kindness.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 22
Come talk to me sometime, sweetheart. I know what it takes to be cool.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 23
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 24
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 25
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 26
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 27
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 28
- Whoa! How'd you get that? - I spent the night with Mr Burler.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 29
Wanna go push the janitor, knowing he can't legally push us back?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 30
In fact, a lot of women prefer them to normal-size bananas,
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 31
I mean, mine goes inside me when I stand up. How do you think I feel?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 32
Stop it, Peter. You're embarrassing me. Look, I know you're upset, but...
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 33
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 34
Don't worry, baby. I'll be gentle.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 35
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 36
Yes. Now that they think you're their friend, it's the perfect time to exact your revenge.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 37
But keep talking. All this stuff about eye-gouging has gotten me all frisky.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 38
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 39
You see, Peter, the way we look at it, a man's only as big as the gun he carries.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 40
Oh, yeah. Who's the big man now, huh?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 41
Don't be stupid. I don't need to compete with my son or his freakishly large penis.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 42
- How'd you get these blueprints? - Oh, your mother has her ways.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 43
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 44
Take a look at our new video.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 45
- Yes. - Me, too. Hold me.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 46
So remember: Guns don't kill people, dangerous minorities do.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 47
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 48
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 49
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 5 (S03E05) - 50
OK. Now we're gonna play Seven Minutes in Heaven,
Aired 12 years ago - Oct 05, 2011

Jay helps Manny with a school fundraiser. Claire petitions for a stop sign at a busy intersection. Phil and Luke try to create a viral video. Gloria searches for Stella.

Aired 12 years ago - Sep 28, 2011

Jay's relationship with the dog irritates Gloria. Phil and Luke try to master the tightrope. Cameron starts a juice fast.

Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 1
- Stay focused! Stay hungry! - You okay, buddy?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 2
- Yeah! Yeah! - Yeah!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 3
Haley, be nice to your sister. Alex, good save.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 4
Not "still!"... Again."
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 5
It's ruined. Stella did this. She chew on my shoe!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 6
Well, I don't leave my shoes laying around, so...
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 7
She tries to drink the water. It's funny.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 8
Excuse me. Did you notice the curb here is painted yellow?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 9
- Move it. - Okay. You betcha.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 10
- Yeah. - Love you!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 11
and I'm hungry, but I'm-- I'm feeling pretty good.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 12
She has so much to offer.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 13
Into stage five-- despair...
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 14
Hey. Whatcha got there?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 15
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 16
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 17
and she actually reminded Mr. Waters to assign homework.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 18
I thought the two of you could understand
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 19
No, I don't even want to hear it. Just go upstairs. Go.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 20
Inception, Claire.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 21
Luke.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 22
Please be ca--careful. Right.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 23
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 24
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 25
- Oh, please let us try it. - Super Dunphy?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 26
Cam, I don't have all day to describe all my meals to you.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 27
Look at this delicious man shoe. Eat it.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 28
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 29
- Hello? - Hi, Mrs. Dunphy.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 30
- Mr. Waters caught them. - I-I don't believe it.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 31
Seriously?? Oh. You...
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 32
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 33
Suddenly it's payback time, right?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 34
If I had a nickel for every time I puked at school,
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 35
But anyway, I took the bag, and I hid it, and I ate it all.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 36
I guess we both have.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 37
Maybe if the wire was much, much higher, you wouldn't fall.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 38
Unh-unh-unh. You don't get to talk.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 39
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 40
Are you sure? They're so good.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 41
but I think that you really need to eat something.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 42
Those cupcakes did a number on me.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 43
Good girl.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 44
Where I come from, men cherish woman.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 45
And, uh, come home.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 46
So one day, I, uh, I go out and I see Snorkels.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 47
And I freaked, tried to get it off with my paddle.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 48
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 49
You know who else needed air?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 3 (S03E03) - 50
Well, if you're starving, then just eat something!
Aired 12 years ago - Sep 21, 2011

Lily has problems with Mitchell and Cameron's plans to adopt another child, Jay tries to get Manny to confess to stealing a locket at school, and Claire goes to extreme lengths to prove that she was right in an argument.

Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 1
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 2
- There's a woodpecker on your head. - Yeah, he comes and goes.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 3
- Do you remember what he looked like? - Yeah. He had a scar on his arm
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 4
Next auditions in New York and Quahog, Rhode Island.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 5
You guys can come, but you gotta promise not to embarrass me.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 6
Mm, I like your taste in women. Yes, she and I are going to have a good time together.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 7
Lois, I told you. There's no way...
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 8
Or you could make yourself useful and wipe my button - circular motion.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 9
You might notice that new-script smell.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 10
See you at Disneyland. Bring money.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 11
How can I follow that act? Bite the head off a chicken?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 12
- I don't wanna. - Yes, you do. You do because it's normal.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 13
Um... How old do you think Daddy is?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 14
Daddy's feet smell.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 15
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 16
Turn around. If you've got something to say, say it to my face.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 17
Wah! Wah!
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 18
I think it's something I'd be excited to be a part of, so call my...
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 19
I'm hungry.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 20
- Brian, can we see you for dinner? - Yeah, you're not too famous to see us?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 21
- How about Musso & Frank's at eight? - OK. See ya later, Mr Big Shot...
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 22
Catching up. OK, me first. I'm in love. Ooh, too much dressing.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 23
I wasn't talking about the show. Ooh! I'm nasty.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 24
- Hello. - Hey, Peter. It's Quagmire.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 25
Hey, we cool, G? Yuh? Yuh? Yuh? All right.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 26
It's a low-budget movie, but the script is solid.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 27
Musso & Frank's is famous. See the bar over there?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 28
Oh, boy. This is great. All that searching, that emptiness I felt back home, gone.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 29
- Oh, congratulations on all your success. - Uh, thank you.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 30
- Great. - And when I make my appearance,
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 31
Yes, and I'm tired of you people always calling during dinner.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 32
So, ready to shoot your first scene?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 33
Can someone fluff Paul? He's got a windsock thing goin' on.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 34
- Are you sure? - I just can't do this.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 35
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 36
"On the set"! Listen to me. Two days in Hollywood and I sound like a contract player.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 37
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 38
Your husband's always away on business and you feel isolated and unloved,
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 39
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 40
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 41
- Who the hell does Brian think he is? - Maybe he thought we'd get in the way.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 42
It jumped right out in front of my car. Oh, I am so sorry.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 43
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 44
Aren't you supposed to be asking me a question?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 45
Sorry. I thought the name of the show was Kids Say the Darndest Things,
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 46
What you got there? Oh, you're gonna go skiing now?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 47
Here I go, down the slope.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 48
- No, my segment's not over! - Come on, you like to jump rope, don't ya?
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 49
And Ghost Dad was the best movie I've seen since Leonard Part 6.
Recap of Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 (S03E02) - 50
I'd rather they think I'm a jerk than a smut pedlar.
Aired 12 years ago - Sep 21, 2011

While vacationing on Lost Creek Ranch, the three families try their hands at a little cattle herding, skeet shooting and horseback riding. There are also some big firsts, a huge surprise and an actual face-off between Jay and a cowboy named Hank.