Status
Ended
Network
ABC (US)
SEASON
EPISODE

Comedy, Drama, Romance

DESCRIPTION

The Pritchett-Dunphy-Tucker clan is a wonderfully large and blended family. They give us an honest and often hilarious look into the sometimes warm, sometimes twisted, embrace of the modern family.

Season 1

Aired 13 years ago - May 19, 2010

Claire makes an effort to take a new family portrait, but everybody is too busy to cooperate: Gloria and Manny go with Phil and Alex to a Lakers game and share an awkward moment on the jumbotron, Cameron gets a job as a wedding singer while Mitchell takes care of Lilly and a stray pigeon, and Luke interviews Jay for a school project.

Aired 13 years ago - May 12, 2010

Jay's plans to do nothing but relax on vacation are interrupted by an unwelcome reality check. Meanwhile, Phil tries to make the trip romantic for Claire, Mitchell and Cameron disagree on whether they should go sight-seeing, and the kids get themselves into trouble.

Aired 13 years ago - May 05, 2010

For Jay's birthday, Gloria gives him the best surprise -- a romantic birthday getaway to Hawaii -- the only kicker is she invited the whole entire family to come along. Everyone arrives at the airport, and it's a maddening scene with forgotten I.D.'s, security breaches and flying phobias.

Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 1
- And this is the only time Jasper could do it. - How full is Jasper's calendar?
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Oh, and we're Methodists, so-
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 3
I really- I really don't think there's enough time.
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Just drive. I'll get the luggage!
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Yeah. He said he's gonna make it back in time, but I think it's gonna be close.
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Coffee'll help that. You're right.
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No. No. I wanna be alert if the kids need me.
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Uncle Phil's here.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 9
It's go time.
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Mmm. I will never get tired of this.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 11
Ow. Ow. Ow.
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Surprise! What, again?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 13
Hi, sweetheart! She's smiling!
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 14
Yeah, I throw up all the time. Oh, well, then Dramamine's the way to go.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 15
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Relax, punkin. I got this.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 18
Uh, let's see. Oh, shoot! I just missed my turn.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 19
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I'm thinking about using it in my song about Hawaii. What song?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 21
I was just thinking how tragic it would be if I fell into that volcano.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 22
Dylan's no that guy.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 23
and since you're leaving for a week, I want to stare at you as long as I could.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 24
Okay.
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Uncle Phil's here.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 26
It's go time.
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Stay awake, sweetie. Stay awake.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 29
All aboard.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 30
The average burglar breaks in and leaves clues everywhere,
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 31
Yup. I'm good. I'm good.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 32
I sold a house to his parents. How did you ever get a playdate with him?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 33
Yeah. "Us. "
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 34
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Manny Delgado to Gate 22-A.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 36
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- We just have a few questions to ask. - No, this is a mistake.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 38
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Um- Oh, G- Well, it's nothing. It's the alarm company.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 40
Okay. This guy, his name's Henry.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 41
Oh. It's going around. Mitchell's mad at me too.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 42
But he never asked! I mean, all he said was,
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 43
Here's an idea: Just say "help me. "
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 44
What's frustrating is I would do anything for Mitchell,
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 45
Are you drawing something there? Yeah. It's no good.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 46
We had to do that too, back in the eighth-
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 47
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Mmm. I'm a little jittery about flying.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 49
you know, what with the luaus, the hiking, the talent shows.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 22 (S01E22) - 50
I'm gonna finish that.
Aired 13 years ago - Apr 28, 2010

Claire is caught off guard when Phil's father shows up in an RV with a little four legged friend, and she becomes suspicious that he might be hiding a larger reason for the visit. Meanwhile, when Cameron hears Dylan is down a drummer in his band, he enthusiastically offers to fill in, and Jay and Gloria have to pay the consequences of accidentally taking Manny to see a traumatizing horror movie. MORE -LESS

Aired 13 years ago - Apr 14, 2010

During an intense basketball game, Luke and Manny's coach quits, which leads to Jay and Phil stepping in to help out. Meanwhile, Mitchell helps Cameron find a prospective employer.

Aired 14 years ago - Mar 31, 2010

iPad release day falls on Phil's birthday, giving Claire an opportunity to finally score an ideal gift for her technophile husband. Manny and Gloria humor Jay—a sore loser at board games—by suppressing their superior chess skills. Mitchell questions his ability to protect his family, while crossed baby monitor signals compel Cameron to secretly intervene in the love life of a neighboring couple. MORE -LESS

Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 1
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This was the lame gift I got Phil.
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Hey, what do you say we play again? I'm good.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 6
Now we're lighting a fire. Let me toss this out.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 7
Now remember, try to open up the middle of the board.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 8
How'd you do that?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 9
So she spent all morning on the phone crying and crying and crying to her mother...
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 10
But not you. No, you sprung right into action.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 11
You're so cute when you're angry with your little fists. Just wanna put you in my pocket.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 12
We're making you breakfast. Uh-huh.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 13
You mean the greatest woman in the world?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 14
Oh, that feels better. That feels better. Sorry, Dad.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 15
Just let me see the bag. Did you leave it in the car?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 16
I got to the store and they were all out. I'm so sorry.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 17
No! Oh, my goodness. What have I done? What have I done?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 18
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Don't you have something better to do?
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So, yeah- Is-Is the offer, uh, still good?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 22
Right- Right now? Yeah.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 23
You know what? Maybe it was a little too pretty. That's the thing.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 24
Alex? Facebook, chat, tweet, buzz, bling, I don't know! Just do what you have to do.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 25
Didn't your mama teach you never to take a ride from a stranger?
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What's that supposed to mean?
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Don't make me sorry I shared that with you. Okay?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 28
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Happy birthday, sweetie.
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I'll just give my wife some excuse.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 31
That's the worst thing you could do.
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Take any deep-seated anger you may have, get a running start and come at me.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 33
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Oh, crap.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 35
Haley, I just struck out again. Please tell me you have some good news.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 36
He hustled me at chess.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 37
and the angry eating of the sunflower seeds.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 38
Why would I sacrifice my queen for your pawn, Jay?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 39
They guy came with Dad's cake, but just so you know, it's missing a piece.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 40
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that is about to get a divorce for a simple misunderstanding.
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Oh.
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Oh, my gosh, no. You can't cut the line. Sorry.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 45
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I'm just waiting in line to get an iPad. I don't even know this guy.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 47
Key to a good birthday? Low expectations.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 48
Hey, um, Dad, your cake fell off the counter,
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 49
- Oh, it's a chess set. - Yeah. You'll get it later. We got something to settle now.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 19 (S01E19) - 50
And we saved a marriage.
Aired 14 years ago - Mar 24, 2010

Jay and Mitchell go on their traditional father-and-son outing to see the meteor showers, but Mitchell is upset when he finds out that Manny will be joining them. Cameron and Gloria spend some quality time together, with some minor incidents, while Phil and Claire both take on one of their child's school projects.

Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 1
and feel free to play with any of these controls up here.
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I mean, when Mitchell made plans with his father,
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[Phil, Jay Chattering] I cannot stand hanging out with his lvy League friends.
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I was talking about people who go to a university.
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Where are we going?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 7
Palaiseau! [Chuckles]
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 8
I don't know.
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Mom, I'm not a child. I can do it.
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- When that happens, I find that I like to... not do that. - I got it. It's okay.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 11
Join the club. I'm kidding. I love your mom.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 12
to someone who has never heard of him.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 13
I take it from your mocking tone that I am incorrect.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 14
Kiddo, you are overthinking this.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 15
Hmm.
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All right.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 17
[Rattling]
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 18
- [Chuckles] - [Door Closes]
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I love this place.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 20
Because I think I would have recognized the only other white or gay person.
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- Claro. - Um, I'll just have the same thing.
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Dos carnitas diablos, por favor.
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Hey, Jay, is that Venus?
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Don't worry about it.
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I figured that out after the first month- [Coughs]
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No, I don't think it is.
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And that is the secret to no lumps. See? It's kind of fun.
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often at the expense of personal safety."
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I asked you to do one thing- stay on top of Luke.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 33
I'm not surprised.
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and I wanted to have this awesome night between the two of us...
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 37
whether it's the Columbian comment...
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Ay. It was a very expensive dress that I don't need.
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You find that blanket? No.
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I better go mop this up.
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Oh, don't be too hard on the kid. I was egging him on.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 42
I know he doesn't want me to talk about it,
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No, I'm just saying, if you were that type of a gay- Dad!
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 45
Yeah, that's why I come down here. Look there.
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Of course I do. You're my friend, you big idiot.
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You coward son of bitches! It's okay, everybody! I'm- I'm insured!
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 18 (S01E18) - 48
Just so you know, I'm going back up to Luke's room, and I'm not leaving until he's finished.
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which is sad because he died broke.
Aired 14 years ago - Mar 10, 2010

Phil meets an old girlfriend on Facebook. Jay accidentally kills Manny's turtle. Mitchell tells his boss the truth.

Aired 14 years ago - Mar 03, 2010

Phil and Luke go into crawlspace under the house, Hayley takes her drivers test, Manny tries to get over his fear of roller coasters and Lily says "Mommy" which upsets Cameron and Mitchell.

Aired 14 years ago - Feb 10, 2010

Phil and Claire break from their traditional Valentine's Day dinner date and plan a little "role play" excursion. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria's ideas of romance clash when he takes her to a comedy show, and Mitchell and Cameron play cupid for Manny.

Aired 14 years ago - Feb 03, 2010

Claire is upset to find that her friend Valerie is better than her. In the meantime Mitchell helps Gloria with legal issues and Jay had a hard time in the locker room.

Aired 14 years ago - Jan 20, 2010

Mitchell plants the seed in Jay's head that he thinks one of Jay's old buddies might be secretly gay. Jay doesn't believe it for a second... except for all the questionable signs he now keeps noticing. Meanwhile Gloria gives Manny's date a makeover and Claire faces off with Phil's universal remote.

Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 1
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We were just... me and lily were just using the time
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Wow, you're worse than your sister with this kind of stuff.
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Well, I wasn't offended by it.
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Mexican food.
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My mother says labor with me took 36 hours
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Some kind of lambskin? It's very soft, you know?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 8
Dad, it's... it's just more than a little insulting.
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And now that I have a family, it's getting a little old.
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What are you talking about, gay? The guy used to be married.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 11
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Be honest. Did you do that thing where you get frustrated
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 13
Â♪ "Set temperature" makes it hold, hold, hold Â♪
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You're not stupid. Stupid is not following your heart
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No, don't say that.
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No, just... like, the lipstick,
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- Manny, go play. - Okay.
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Well, because you're completely bothered by the flowers,
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And then, I think the christmas of my second year,
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We're here. Jay, this is Whitney.
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I'm sorry this didn't turn out like you wanted.
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Good. Ran into Mitchell and Cam.
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- They're a bunch of harmless old men. - They're my age.
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But I'm sure you made it very easy
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- Yes, I'm getting that. - Okay, okay.
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Because I lost my temper and it didn't work.
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The football players were so jealous,
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but the experts at cnet.com rated it the best remote.
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Sweetie, let's not talk about Ling. It upsets you too much.
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- No. - Yeah. Haley.
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- Oh, my god. Oh, god. - What?
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I said: "very displeased", and I used my cowboy voice, so...
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- Hi. - Florist.
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Look at that. Two things flaming at once.
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You just got to relax.
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Honey, you got to focus. We've only got 20 minutes.
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that mom told you she was right...
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Listen, Shorty, uh...
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Really?
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But I guess if I did, it would be you.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 41
And you offering to give me the dough, this is beautiful!
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My father landed on Normandy to save your ass.
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Let's do this.
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Skip forward.
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Let's see what happens to little Haley when I do this.
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and then pre input till you get hdmi 1 and...
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 47
No, honey, you're missing the point.
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Shorty is not gay.
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Right after one of the stranger golf lessons of my life.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 13 (S01E13) - 50
Now look at me.
Aired 14 years ago - Jan 13, 2010

When Claire finds a dirty picture on the computer and assumes it's Luke's doing, a guilty Phil doesn't necessarily correct her. Jay and Gloria disagree over his beloved life-sized dog butler statue, and Cameron gets sucked into their gardener's woes.

Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 1
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March to the edge of the stage, and point at you.
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Feel like a torpedo.
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How can you just turn your back on a friend like that?
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I'm sure dad is just gonna go out
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That the marionettes are not kind to latecomers.
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I just asked him if he wanted to have a glass of water
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Breasts are like these scary, mystical things
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You do know that women stopped wearing girdles like 30 years ago, right?
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He's not a guest. He works for us.
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We can fix him. Let me take a better look.
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Um...
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It's ridiculous! I didn't mean to hurt it!
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That the dog butler is a little ridiculous.
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It's an unholy mix between man and beast.
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Why is dad in luke's room with the door closed?
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Alex. Sorry.
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But everything's -- everything's fine now.
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You're probably just feeling a little tense from alis.
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Where's your mind?
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What'd he say? Something... House... Something.
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"it" is a human being, mitchell!
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This man could have lost his brother in a cable-car accident!
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I think this has something to do with the gardener.
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And now you'll know that I'm not a manic mother teresa out there
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What's the real reason?
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So, trouble in gay paradise, huh?
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Ah, she hates barkley.
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Hell, I'm probably fighting with your mom
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What I got now is a lot better.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 35
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 36
And I waited in line to get this signed, haley.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 37
And I'll never forgive you!
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 38
Oh. Home already.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 39
Listen, cam, I-I love that you try and help the world.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 40
Okay, well, if that ever happens, I will let you know.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 41
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 42
Something you shouldn't have been looking at? Yeah.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 43
And some parts just seemed crazy.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 44
That's disturbing, sweetie. Why haley?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 45
That was private! Oh, please.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 46
They don't have any privacy.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 47
Rosa, thank you for coming. Gracias.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 48
He always can put himself first.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 49
that was nice.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 12 (S01E12) - 50
I don't want that.
Aired 14 years ago - Jan 06, 2010

Gloria does not like Jay's reaction to the arrival of Manny's father; Phil is rushed to the hospital; Mitchell and Cameron try to sleep train Lily.

Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 1
Someone put onome music. Tonight, we dance.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 2
And I got a stolen boat in my driveway.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 3
Yeah, but now I'm with the right man, okay?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 4
Well, mitchell really wanted to ferberize the baby.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 5
Or two people suffer.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 6
For the baby?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 7
What's going on, guys?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 8
Death is coming!
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 9
I think I was probably just overreacting
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 10
Probably got himself a nice drink, too.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 11
That's what happens when you get older.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 12
Which are you?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 13
Everybody sees you as this great guy.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 14
You think, what, I'm just off chasing a good time, hmm?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 15
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 16
It's a miracle I'm standing up.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 17
I broke the glass coffee table.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 18
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 19
If you want to try on [straining] some tighter jeans.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 20
Oh, listen, jay, you're a tough guy to compete with.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 21
Well, we do a little throa t-grabbing ourselves around here, you know?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 22
Sosa, mcgwire.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 23
[ laughs ] what are you guys doing?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 24
He owes me a little favor.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 25
I thought you were - those were pillows.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 26
Except you're not a bear.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 27
Hey, guys. We just wanted to see how you were doing.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 28
Those heels were really high.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 29
And the wind blew the door shut.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 30
Luke, buddy, hold back a sec.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 31
Honey, I'm just gonna run them to school.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 32
I'd hate for the last thing you ever said to me
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 33
[ exhales slowly ]
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 34
Any reason I can't take him?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 35
Iay! Idios mío! Did you take him with you?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 36
Then we got hogs.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 37
What? School. Yes, school.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 38
Okay.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 39
So I don't know what the hell I'm talking about!
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 40
I told everyone that I have an unreliable partner
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 41
In such distress doesn't bother you more.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 42
You will not. You're not com-- cameron.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 43
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 44
With some of his old baseball pals.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 45
No one is getting seduced.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 46
[ muffled laugh ]
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 47
I'm so sorry. Ah, no.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 48
Honey, I just -- just need a little bit of time.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 49
Get out of cleaning the garage, a week at circus camp.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 11 (S01E11) - 50
10 years -- sweet, little convertible.
Aired 14 years ago - Dec 09, 2009

The Dunphy kids are in trouble again, but this time Claire and Phil are threatening to take Christmas away. Gloria and Manny want to incorporate some of their Colombian practices into Jay's holiday traditions, but he wants to keep it his way. Meanwhile Cameron and Mitchell take Lily to the mall for her first picture with Santa, however this Santa isn't very jolly. MORE -LESS

Aired 14 years ago - Nov 25, 2009

Nothing is too big when Phil and Claire decide to throw Luke the biggest and best birthday party a boy could ever want, but when Cameron shows up as Fizbo the Clown, it sets off a chain of events that ends with someone in the hospital.

Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 1
Well, I'm... a little thrown.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 2
Girls don't go for all that romantic stuff.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 3
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I couldn't get Luke out of my mind.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 5
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Hey, has anyone ever gotten hurt on one of these things?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 7
- There's a snow-cone machine? - Yeah.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 8
- Girls. - Hey, hey.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 9
at Donna Rigby's birthday party.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 10
in my incredibly convenient beaded comb sheath
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 11
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 12
if I wasn't in school or fishin', I was clownin'.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 13
Oh, and there's the fifth type, the sad clown.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 14
This is about a little boy who deserves some happiness.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 15
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I'm okay. I'm good.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 17
It's a cool leather holder for your comb.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 18
I'll make a quick run back to the 1950s for you.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 19
You just stay right here and relax.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 20
She's the complete package. Wish me luck.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 21
So, a grasshopper named Gary walks into a bar.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 22
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Okay, I just thought you might want to know
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 24
so do the smart thing--
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 25
Apologize-- boyfriend?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 26
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 27
The right girl will find you when it's time,
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 28
Just be the sweet, wonderful little boy that you are.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 29
It's so peaceful and quiet over here.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 30
All right, let's all give Luke a big hand
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 31
Um, so, I was thinking that maybe we could go slip away.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 32
Hot reptile chick,
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 33
No way, mother nature.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 34
Great job, buddy.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 35
Scary movies? I've seen "Ghostbusters" like seven times.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 36
Never shared that with the fam, so
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 37
Well, no, I'm Fizbo the Clown.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 38
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 39
Oh. That's Dylan.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 40
That's quite an impressive getup you got there.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 41
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 42
but, seriously, he's still talking to her?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 43
I think-- I think one of your bugs got out.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 44
and let's make a game of looking where we step.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 45
Sweetie, that does not look safe.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 46
Exactly, yes, and it has the beads and everything.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 47
Look at them, though. They're the life of the party.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 48
It turns out Fizbo is a real badass.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 49
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 9 (S01E09) - 50
Aired 14 years ago - Nov 18, 2009

With a history of giving bad gifts, Claire is determined to surprise Phil with an amazing anniversary present: a private performance by one of their favorite musicians, Izzy LaFontaine (Edward Norton). However, it turns out to be unexpected in more ways than one. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron call up their "party-girl bestie", Sal (Elizabeth Banks), for a long overdue night out on the town. MORE -LESS

Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 1
Is Haley still coming?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 2
And then we watch a western together, which they don't care for, but, hey,
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 3
That's what's so perfect about this.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 4
Family means everything to me.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 5
For now.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 6
- I'm sorry. - What are you apologizing for?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 7
- Are you kidding me? - They aren't?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 8
I'm so screwed.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 9
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 10
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So, you guys ready for some fun?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 13
It's at my friend Andrew Adler's. He lives three blocks from here.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 14
Oh, my God, that was so easy. This is awesome.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 15
Are you expecting someone special?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 16
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 17
That song "True" was playing in the car the first time we kissed.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 18
Here to play a private concert for us
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 19
- To us! - Yeah, to us!
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 20
Margaritas, you guys, these guys.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 21
- I'm just gonna go check on Lily. - Right now?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 22
- Did she just... - I'm scared.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 23
You know what? I think I deserve a soda.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 24
There.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 25
Got to number six on the Netherlands' charts, though.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 26
Lover
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 27
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 28
It's your evening. Let's make it great. Name your playlist. I'll do it all.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 29
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 30
There is no "Millennium Sunrise" record. What? What?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 31
Now I'm nothing. How do you think that feels?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 32
It was too soon.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 33
- It's Lily at the zoo. - Oh, cute.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 34
- Okay, that wasn't even close. - Nope.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 35
and the first child gets jealous of the second child and starts acting out.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 36
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 37
Do you think it's at all possible that maybe you're jealous of her?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 38
You guys, come on! Because she's Asian and she broke up our group.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 39
And last week, I had a really bad dream,
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 40
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 41
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 42
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 43
Me? She's the one acting like a pill.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 44
I'm trying to keep them around a little bit longer, that's all.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 45
It's great that you want to spend time with your granddaughter,
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 46
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 47
- I will track you down. - I believe that.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 48
- Yeah, definitely. That'd be great. - What about the party?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 49
No, thanks.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 8 (S01E08) - 50
"Meanwhile, stateside, another storm was brewing...
Aired 14 years ago - Nov 04, 2009

The whole family comes out to support Manny's newfound interest - fencing. It turns out he's quite masterful in the sport, but Jay's proud enthusiasm triggers an old childhood wound for Mitchell. Meanwhile Phil is determined to find where Luke's hidden talents lie.

Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 1
Chris, you're hogging up all the fans!
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 2
Brian. You could win for sure.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 3
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 4
Please, Brian.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 5
Sorry. What is Diarrhea?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 6
Good. Roll over.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 7
After all, it's only a dog show.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 8
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 9
I should go. We'll be waiting downstairs whenever you're ready.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 10
Welcome to the Quahog Dog Show. Today's competition will be...
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 11
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 12
Lois, if Liza is wrong, then I don't want to know what right is.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 13
I'll give you a shiny dime if you'll roll me into the nearest lake.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 14
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 15
What the hell is this?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 16
Yeah? The deal's off.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 17
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 18
Peter, Brian, please.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 19
Really? You could probably just buff that out.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 20
The next time I ask you to do something, I expect you to do it. Understand?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 21
Is the doggie going bye-bye? I'm so sad.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 22
Oh, God. I left it on my other collar.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 23
I don't suppose you could let us off with a warning?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 24
- And you better start obeying both of us. - Look at you.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 25
I don't think that's the expression.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 26
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 27
My, your summer coat is really coming in nicely. Isn't it, Peter?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 28
May I have one on a plate or is Peter planning to balance it on my nose?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 29
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- When I found you, you were just a stray. - You swore you would never speak of that.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 32
That's okay. No charge.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 33
Look, you got everything you could possibly want right here.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 34
Don't worry. He won't get far without this.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 35
Now why don't you go tie yourself up to that parking meter?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 36
Have you ever felt like you're dirty?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 37
Stop it! We all miss him.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 38
- Let's get a kitty! - See, gang? Stewie's got the right idea.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 39
What the hell was that?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 40
Don't do that. That's what they expect you to do.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 41
Because when he comes home, I want him to know he never left our thoughts.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 42
Gross. Did he just drink from the fountain?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 43
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Sorry, pooch. You gotta sleep outside. No dogs allowed in the bus station.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 45
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Can you spare some change?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 47
Stop! Help!
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 48
...home.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 49
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 7 (S01E07) - 50
Who's up for a little lunch? Something festive.
Aired 14 years ago - Oct 28, 2009

Claire is happy to have the house to herself on the first day of school, but Phil does not share her enthusiasm.

Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 1
We've been taking turns driving with her.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 2
This navigation system is all messed up.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 3
is you "undermelting" his confidence.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 4
Yeah, I'm sure it's the confidence they're admiring.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 5
All you do is put child locks on things, read parenting books.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 6
♪♪ Oh, come on.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 7
No, I think if it was her head, she would be-
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 8
So you ate your way to it? I made a judgment call. You weren't there.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 9
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 10
Of course she's gonna be judgmental and condescending.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 11
It wasn't very hard and she's not acting any differently, but I just worry-
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 12
I, uh, just dropped Manny off at school, and I realized...
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 13
We should take advantage of it.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 14
He's always surprising me with little presents, fun getaways.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 15
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 16
Well, the first day of school can be tough for stay-at-home moms.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 17
and if you pay attention, women will tell you what they want...
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 18
I was sort of looking forward to a quiet day.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 19
The thing is, I like to run alone.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 20
and that I wear my special shoes with the big soles,
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 21
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I just wanna read.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 23
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 24
I remember one time Mitchell decided to wear a jaunty scarf to school.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 25
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A poncho is just a cape that goes all the way around.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 27
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 28
Huh.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 29
Two at a time, two at a ti-
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 30
We used to do this thing in school...
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 31
Yeah, well, he's a nervous eater.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 32
- Was she wearing a hat? - Yes, yes, like a hat.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 33
You'll be pleased to know that Mitchell and I intend on raising Lily...
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 34
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Uh, just to be sure, could you show me how hard Lily got hit?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 36
So is Lily.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 37
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 38
If you tell them they have wings, they will believe they can fly.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 39
No one, Manny. Why would you even think that?
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 40
I'm going to play some Colombian folk music for my new classmates.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 41
The poncho, plus the flute, plus the stupid dance - my son will die a virgin.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 42
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Yeah, but you're such a natural. I mean, look at you.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 44
Without you, we wouldn't even have a baby to injure.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 45
We are! Don't you forget it.
Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 6 (S01E06) - 46
♪ A-B-C-D-E-F- ♪ What, are you singing to her? People get arrested for this.
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There they are. How was the first day back in prison?
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kicking a little Mom butt here, how about I school you in some Mario Kart?
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I was born ready. I came outta the womb wearing tiny little golden wings-
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Please tell your wife to relax. Everything is going to be okay. That's a man.
Aired 14 years ago - Oct 21, 2009

A family barbecue gets uncomfortable for Gloria and Claire after an incident at school involving Manny and Luke.

Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 5 (S01E05) - 1
"Very nice people. " Yeah, that's what they always say.
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Okay, time for batting practice, my Happy-Go-Lucky Toy Boys.
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Last week, someone lost an eye at Bingo.
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Yes. He's so full of wonder.
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Where the hell am I gonna find a guy as strong as Guillermo?
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What? Look, all I'm saying is put an Israeli guy next to an Arab guy...
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Before you know it, you're using my supermarket...
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But he wishes to know what compensation you offer.
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Bonnie told me Joe is a big baseball fan. He played in college.
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Go to hell! Whoops. See what I mean?
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Son of a bitch! Son of a bitch! There it goes again.
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It's nice that your family is here.
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Peter, our new secret weapon is this very attractive paraplegic?
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That's my Joe! What the deuce?
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Yeah, let's hear it for the guy who found Joe!
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They love that one down at the Precinct.
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How hilarious is that? That is so Peter Griffin. Guys?
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That's what kids want to play with. Yeah. A Beanie Baby in a bubble.
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No, no. He can't take that away from me.
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It was Christmas Eve and some presents had been stolen.
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...I shall take the information from you by force!
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Well, technically he was killed by the state, but funny story.
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When did it become okay to be handicapped?
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It's not too hard to see why. He's a hero. He makes the world a better place.
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No. It's not the same thing. Joe puts himself in real danger every day.
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Report of a stabbing in...
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Daddy's gonna make a little withdrawal.
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Because there's a five-year sleepover at the big house. And you're invited.
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Meg, you're a sweet, lovely girl. He'll come around.
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I thought being a hero would be all fun and games.
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We got hostages! Don't try anything funny!
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Okay, in this improv, Tammy and the short robber are husband and wife.
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Well, before you take Sparky home, let me check him for worms.
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Listen, the whole reason I saved you guys today was so I could be a hero.
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- Can you tell me if he's okay? - What's he look like?
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Aired 14 years ago - Oct 14, 2009

Claire and Mitchell's mother makes a surprise visit to make amends for what has been termed "the incident" at Jay and Gloria's wedding. Everything comes to a head when the whole family shows up to dinner at Claire's house.

Aired 14 years ago - Oct 07, 2009

Phil pushes Jay to go out with him and fly his new model plane. While Manny takes time out to play with Luke, Gloria accompanies Alex in shopping for a dress. Manny has a heart-to-heart talk with his sister Claire.

Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 3 (S01E03) - 1
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I thought we were past all that. I'm all about...
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and you still walk on eggshells around him.
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You use strategy to expand territories and take over the world.
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- Okay, mom, what about this? - No, you're wearing a dress.
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why don't you worry about getting Luke to wear some pants?
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but with kind of an invisible asterisk.
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Do you have to just stand there? You're making me feel uneasy.
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Put 'em on!
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presenting their nice scarlet behinds.
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Don't touch it.
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I got the toothpaste and the soap.
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- every time I would get boisterous. - I did not!
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- All I did was this... - "Casablanca."
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The paper shredder I wanted, huh? Confetti and crosscut.
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Those cookies smell like heaven. Your own recipe?
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Right, I guess, technically, I would be your stepsister.
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It's just stuff with Alex. You know, kid stuff.
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- I know. You're my grandmother. - Step-grandmother.
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Some friend.
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If things had gone differently in my life, I would have been a pilot.
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I can see why you like this. It's so peaceful.
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You grab one of those hoops over there
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Alex and I can't just disagree. She has to turn everything into a fight.
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- Put her in a dress and she disappears. - For one afternoon.
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- Really good olives. - Yeah.
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We should get enough for like the next year or two, right?
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Excuse me. Where did you get that flatbed thing?
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Un peu.
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No, no, and yes.
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I wear dresses, and I don't look like Haley.
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I'm the smart one.
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When that day comes, you're gonna want to look beautiful,
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Back then, everything was Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem.
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If you don't want to wear a dress, it's not the end of the world.
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Oh, my God!
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- the propeller's bent, but I can... - I mean Phil.
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- See, you're upsetting your husband. - Water.
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- You never miss. - I must be getting old.
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have you one time told him that you liked him?
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- And he's technically not my son. - That means that you don't love Manny?
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Aired 14 years ago - Sep 30, 2009

As Phil helps his son show Claire he can be trusted, Phil turns out to be the irresponsible one at the sight of a hot neighbor. Mitchell and Cameron take Lily to their Mommy & Me class. Manny and Jay uncomfortably spend time together.

Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 2 (S01E02) - 1
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- What's the charge, Officer? - Driving without my phone number.
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I'm afraid I'm no good for you! The first rule of war is know thine enemy.
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I'm so nervous.
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- What are you doing? - I'm driving.
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I know how you feel, pumpkin. I've had my share of disappointments, too.
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- She did it. - What? Dad, you were the one driving!
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- Come on. Give the kid a break, huh? - Why should we?
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And if you add the measure of the angles of a right triangle, the sum...
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If you win, I'll buy you a convertible when you get your license.
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Of course, no one can see this news program...
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Excellent. The weather machine is nearly completed.
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Victory shall yet be mine.
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Come on, Lois.
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Now, Chris, now let's not panic. We can manage just fine without TV.
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- I'm just saying... - Shut up, Wonka.
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I ain't saying nothing! All right, it was Jimmy the Hat!
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But at that moment, I realized I had a whole lifetime to make new friends.
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I wonder what Scooby and the gang are up to now.
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You just need to find something to fill the void that's left in your life.
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Can't live without TV. Must see TV.
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Brian, I'm a little worried about Peter.
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Peter, you're scaring me. I'm beginning to think you're losing your grip on reality.
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A little help?
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I never knew anyone who went crazy before except my invisible friend...
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I did not! Forget it. What good is a car if I have no friends?
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Hey, Lois. You're just in time for the exciting conclusion.
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Another chick flick.
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I hear that Manson guy watches it in jail all day long.
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- The lamp gives us light. - I get it.
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I thought you wanted us to murder the children and harvest their organs...
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- Great. You can teach me how to drive. - There'll be time to drive when you're dead.
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That frigid old cow lives in Quahog. She can't hear a word I'm saying.
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Come on, everyone.
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Maybe we could just sit and watch some TV together?
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Aired 14 years ago - Sep 23, 2009

Jay is having trouble keeping up with his new young Colombian wife and her son. Claire is having trouble with her husband Phil, who thinks he can be hip with their kids. Mitchell and his partner Cameron adopt a Vietnamese baby.

Recap of Modern Family Season 1 Episode 1 (S01E01) - 1
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love knows no race, creed or gender and shame on you! You small minded, ignorant fe...
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MODERN FAMILY SEASON 1 EPISODE 1
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Fighting a son, it would be a nice change. I'm kidding!
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I'm kidding! Come on! Who are you talking to?
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It was an accident!
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I'm so sorry! - Liar.
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You know Gloria, that blowup with that other mom, why do you have to do things like that?
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Honey, she's 16. - Oh, it's okay for you to take another lover?
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Stop the car!
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Manny is verry pasioned, just like his father. My first husband is very handsome but, to crazy.
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She barely slept in the plane, and she's stil wide awake. - Oh, stop worrying!
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Which has been verry difficult. But, apparently you're body does a nesting, very maturnal ...
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Well, that's reassuring, right Lilly? Yeah, we tore you away from everyting you know but ...
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I know, and it's supposed to be nothing, but joyfull suddenly turns into this huge fight.
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You're telling your family you've adopted a baby, tonight.
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Heey, you must be Dylan. - Hey, Dylan, yeah.
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Phil, sweety, honey. He is Dylan and he is a Senior.
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But you're eyes are like: No, we not!
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... two keep it real? You k'now what it mean, son?
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I don't know about this, shall I call a doctor? - No, no, no.
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And I don't care what some jackass in a pair of ribbed jeans thinks about me.
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Look, I don't know what's gonna happen to him over there ...
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I.. b... you'll know better next time. Come on! Let's get a pretzel.
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What are they doing up there? Nothing, lying in her bed, watching a movie.
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The senior at school was out sick for four months, but she was out breastfeeding in an cleanup carwash.
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How many pairs of underwear do you have on? - One ...
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You know why? 'Cause you're sister is a good girl.
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You're to close, it's gonna hurt. - It's supposed to hurt!
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I think you've learned you're lesson.
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Because I have euh, seen this little show before:
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Dad?! Dad, you have got to talk to mom, she is like completely freaking out and emberassing me.
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And he still does this thing were he announces himself before walking into any room were in.
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Oh God.
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Heey, how are you? Hi guys!
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Hey Jay - Gloria, hi! How are you?
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...about that I have something that I need to tell you guys.
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Anyway, so about a year ago. Cam and I sort have feeling this longing for something more...
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I think what dad is trying to say is that, Mitchell you're a little uptight, kids bring chaos...
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So, that's the big announcement. You two broke up.