S9 E7
Status
Ended
Network
CBS
SEASON
VIEW ALL EPISODE

Season 9  "Your Retention Please"  9x7

Aired 38 years ago - Jan 05, 1981

Klinger is so depressed by news that his ex-wife plans to remarry, he reenlists for an additional six-year hitch. Meanwhile, a male nurse has a gripe against the army.

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Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 1
and now it's killed me.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 2
[Potter] Leave him alone. If he's reconstructing nerves via library book...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 3
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 4
I wasn't a sightseer. I was a technician on his surgical team for over a year.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 5
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 6
I wanted to talk to them about re-upping.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 7
Uh... Oh, I have this, uh, memo for you too, sir.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 8
Bandy your japes, apes.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 9
In that case, may I present Major Winchester?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 10
Ah. Nothing I like better than the free exchange of ideas.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 11
- I don't wanna let the kitty out of the burlap. - [Vickers] What's with you?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 12
When they came into the army, they were made officers automatically.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 13
Why bother? There are plenty of other fish in the barrel.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 14
Igor.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 15
Well, that's a shame.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 16
This drink's on me, Maxie.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 17
Tell Joey all about it.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 18
You ever...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 19
gives you a place to sleep.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 20
What you need is an anchor...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 21
Where do I sign?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 22
I have been directed to address you...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 23
- You gotta be kidding. - Gentlemen, please, it's impolite to laugh at the senile.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 24
Please. I'd like to hear this too.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 25
The army provides a chance to see the world.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 26
- Why me? They were bad too. - Yeah, but you're the top Katzenjammer.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 27
[Chuckling] I'd like to leave these for your C.O.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 28
He wasn't even on the list.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 29
crying in his beer over some skirt named Laverne...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 30
Oh, please. Didn't you read the "Do Not Disturb The Dead" sign?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 31
No. It's all one fuzzy blur.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 32
I may be a rummy, but I'm no dummy.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 33
Oh. So, you mean... You mean Laverne and Gus...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 34
[Shouting] Ah! Yes, Virginia! There is an escape clause.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 35
It'd be criminal of you to swear him in now.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 36
Nobody but an idiot would ever reenlist.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 37
George Washington, Andy Jackson, Teddy Roosevelt.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 38
Smart lad. I'll be in here when and if you're ready.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 39
Well, I must say you have a very nice leg up on your recovery.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 40
- Ask the expert. - Just keep a close watch.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 41
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 42
I don't understand something. If all this happened because you wrote Gus in the first place...
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 43
If you wanna communicate with Laverne, why don't you write Laverne?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 44
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 45
this is gonna knock you off your pins, but I still love you.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 46
After all, you're only human.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 47
I don't need you and Gus to use my heartstrings for a taffy pull.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 48
Okay! That's wonderful. At last you're a free man.
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 49
Colonel Potter swore you in anyway?
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 50
Said if I didn't swear him in, he'd drive to "l" Corps and find somebody who would.

Or scroll and see one by one:

Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 2
[Potter] Leave him alone. If he's reconstructing nerves via library book...
#2
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 3 #3 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 4
I wasn't a sightseer. I was a technician on his surgical team for over a year.
#4
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 5 #5 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 6
I wanted to talk to them about re-upping.
#6
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 7
Uh... Oh, I have this, uh, memo for you too, sir.
#7
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 8
Bandy your japes, apes.
#8
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 9
In that case, may I present Major Winchester?
#9
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 10
Ah. Nothing I like better than the free exchange of ideas.
#10
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 11
- I don't wanna let the kitty out of the burlap. - [Vickers] What's with you?
#11
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 12
When they came into the army, they were made officers automatically.
#12
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 13
Why bother? There are plenty of other fish in the barrel.
#13
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 14
Igor.
#14
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 15
Well, that's a shame.
#15
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 16
This drink's on me, Maxie.
#16
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 17
Tell Joey all about it.
#17
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 18
You ever...
#18
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 19
gives you a place to sleep.
#19
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 20
What you need is an anchor...
#20
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 21
Where do I sign?
#21
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 22
I have been directed to address you...
#22
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 23
- You gotta be kidding. - Gentlemen, please, it's impolite to laugh at the senile.
#23
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 24
Please. I'd like to hear this too.
#24
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 25
The army provides a chance to see the world.
#25
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 26
- Why me? They were bad too. - Yeah, but you're the top Katzenjammer.
#26
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 27
[Chuckling] I'd like to leave these for your C.O.
#27
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 28
He wasn't even on the list.
#28
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 29
crying in his beer over some skirt named Laverne...
#29
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 30
Oh, please. Didn't you read the "Do Not Disturb The Dead" sign?
#30
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 31
No. It's all one fuzzy blur.
#31
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 32
I may be a rummy, but I'm no dummy.
#32
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 33
Oh. So, you mean... You mean Laverne and Gus...
#33
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 34
[Shouting] Ah! Yes, Virginia! There is an escape clause.
#34
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 35
It'd be criminal of you to swear him in now.
#35
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 36
Nobody but an idiot would ever reenlist.
#36
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 37
George Washington, Andy Jackson, Teddy Roosevelt.
#37
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 38
Smart lad. I'll be in here when and if you're ready.
#38
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 39
Well, I must say you have a very nice leg up on your recovery.
#39
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 40
- Ask the expert. - Just keep a close watch.
#40
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 41 #41 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 42
I don't understand something. If all this happened because you wrote Gus in the first place...
#42
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 43
If you wanna communicate with Laverne, why don't you write Laverne?
#43
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 44 #44 Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 45
this is gonna knock you off your pins, but I still love you.
#45
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 46
After all, you're only human.
#46
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 47
I don't need you and Gus to use my heartstrings for a taffy pull.
#47
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 48
Okay! That's wonderful. At last you're a free man.
#48
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 49
Colonel Potter swore you in anyway?
#49
Recap of M*A*S*H Season 9 Episode 7 (S09E07) - 50
Said if I didn't swear him in, he'd drive to "l" Corps and find somebody who would.
#50