Status
Ended
Network
CBS
SEASON
EPISODE

Season 2

Aired 12 years ago - May 14, 2007

It's still Marshall and Lily's big wedding day but now we're at the reception. Robin tries to tell a story but keeps getting interrupted. Barney tries his hardest to figure out Ted and Robin's secret.

Aired 12 years ago - May 07, 2007

With everything going wrong on Lily and Marshall's wedding day, to everyone's surprise it's confirmed bachelor Barney who tries to fix it all.

Aired 12 years ago - Apr 30, 2007

Thinking that Bob Barker may be his father, Barney is overjoyed to be a contestant on The Price is Right. Marshall and Lily try sleeping apart prior to the wedding.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 20 (S02E20) - 1
- Did you memorize our registry? - No, I'm training.
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I am going to be on... The Price Is Right.
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T.P.I.R. is not just an indescribably entertaining hour of television,
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and I see the face of America.
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- I'm ready! - Ta-da-da-da-da...
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His favorite grandson is getting married, Ted.
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Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
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I'm getting married next Saturday, and I'm too skinny for my dress.
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This isn't a problem. It's a license to eat.
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Done!
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and Marshall and Lily were just a few short weeks into their relationship...
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I know it's soon to say it, but I'm so glad you did.
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Yeah, Ted, 'cause nutrition's not important.
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is that there were no fewer than 11 different deep-fried appetizers.
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If I don't win the spin-off, and I can't get into the Showcase Showdown,
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is because I've decided that it's time for me to meet my real father.
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That's Pops.
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So now I'm gonna go to L.A., be on the show,
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Lily has to gain five pounds in a week and a half,
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Lily Aldrin, drop and give me 20 bites of fudge!
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- Well, eat, damn it, eat! - Okay!
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I'd like to share with you all a story about the momentous evening last fall
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Thanks, Marshall, for teaching us you don't need alcohol to have fun.
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It was a lovely and responsible night.
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I give up, too. I don't care if my dress doesn't fit.
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You know, all this time, I'd been wracking my brain trying to
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to meet Lily.
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- How's the weight gaining going? - Ugh, terribly.
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You know, there really are a million things I could tell you about Lily and Marshall,
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Now, kids, the story of Lily and Marshall's wedding is a good one.
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Nooo. Oh, my God!
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Bob, the stylish his-and-her watches feature an 18k gold bezel and crown
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Retail price is $1,349.99, so, since you round off, I'll say $1,350, Bob.
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That is impressive. I mean impressive.
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And the clock will start with your first bid.
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You have only about 16 seconds. Keep bidding.
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- Happy wedding again! - Oh, my...
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- It's going around, and around... - Oh, no, you spun it too hard.
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You've won $1,000. You've won a place in the showcase.
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Do you want to bid on it or do you want to pass it to Millie?
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Overbid! Now, let's see Showcase #2.
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Please.
Aired 12 years ago - Apr 09, 2007

Robin attends Lily's bridal shower and finds the gift that she brought is out of place. Barney hires a stripper for Marshall's bachelor party.

Aired 12 years ago - Mar 19, 2007

Barney takes drastic measures to prevent Ted from moving into Robin's apartment. Meanwhile, Marshall and Lily are discovering the ups and downs of having the apartment to themselves. Barney considers moving in with Marshall and Lily.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 18 (S02E18) - 1
Mm. Yes.
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Question three, "Did I just make up this quiz to prove a point?"
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Why? This is crazy.
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All right then, how will you feel when you can't sneak the occasional cigarette?
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Wait for it.
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I noticed.
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Don't worry, it's Barney. He'll bring the stuff back.
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Well, where else would we put my TV?
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- We need wine, don't we? - Yes, we do.
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We don't have to be quiet anymore.
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Well, it's a lot better than yelling, "Ted's not here," over and over again.
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Well, unless you have a separate pot lid room, I was thinking the cupboard.
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Do not say storage space.
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Barney, I know it's you. Where's my stuff?
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Okay, I opened it. And there's a suit there.
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Number two, meet me at McClaren's in an hour.
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Suit and sneakers.
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- I'm not calling you... - You're not getting your stuff back.
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So tonight, we are going to have one last awesome night together as bros.
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before you go take Fun Ted out back and shoot him.
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Hey, look, world's strongest man is on.
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Yeah. Um, not too early. I have church.
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This might be our last hurrah, my little friend.
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Ooh, look, a microwave pizza!
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Yeah, baby?
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- I don't know. - You know you want to.
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Um, so if you could go ahead and cancel my subscription to Guns and Ammo,
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You know what? Let me give you my work address.
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Could you toss me the toilet paper?
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Because you don't want them back.
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And that's why you spent your first night living with Robin
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Why, do you?
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- Ted, come on. - No, you come on.
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I bet you my place is closer.
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It cannot survive without this tree.
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Robin and I aren't gonna move in together after all.
Aired 12 years ago - Feb 26, 2007

Marshall is all set to celebrate his beloved Fiero hitting the 200,000 mile mark but it stops. While the gang sits in the mechanic's garage and waits to hear what will happen to the vehicle they think about times gone by that they have spent together in the car. We also get the story of how Ted met Marshall.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 17 (S02E17) - 1
No...
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Barney. That's like the third one in a row that you've screwed up.
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Dude, I told you that doesn't work. It's the 100K fiasco.
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I'm driving my Fiero back over break.
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We're both really invested in making this long-distance thing work, so...
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it was... it was totally mutual.
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I am so... sick... of this song.
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That was probably our best one.
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Then Marshall, who was so busy cheating at Zitch Dog,
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Robert Frost.
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We're almost out of gas, and we might not even be on a road anymore.
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Thus began the longest night of our lives.
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If I die first, do whatever you need to survive.
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But... but you're dead, and I'm gonna die if I don't.
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I've known for a long time that I'm gonna marry that girl.
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But funny thing...
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Yeah. You can keep prolonging its life,
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and threw up all over the backseat.
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I wish we could take the Fiero, but Marshall has this insane no-food rule.
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We'll drive over, pick it up, have them double-bag it,
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Marshall's gonna freak. Oh, God, oh, God. What are we gonna do?
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There's two in the glove compartment, but he's been saving them.
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Yeah. This was a terrible idea.
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It looked like fun when she did it. So I wanted to try.
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I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
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Why? Why?
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- Which pedal's the gas? - Trick question.
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Step on the brakes. Sometime in the next 20 minutes.
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- Help me, Ted! I'm being serious. - Stop, drop and roll.
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I can't... I can't feel my...
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Wow. Sounds like you had some accident in that car.
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And helped me realize that our days on this planet are too few to squander.
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Friendships were made.
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You never end up where you thought you wanted to be.
Aired 12 years ago - Feb 19, 2007

Lily gets asked to play in an off-off-off-off-broadway play, and the gang shows up to support her. Ted and Robin get hung up on what each kept from their past relationships. Barney performs his own play to prove a point to Lily.

Aired 12 years ago - Feb 12, 2007

Ted can't seem to catch a flight to interview for his dream job and he and Robin contemplate why. The story unfolds backwards as they think about it they remember when Robin and Lily went hunting for a wedding dress and when Barney got stuck on the subway.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 15 (S02E15) - 1
Oh, Marshall, how's the broken toe?
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I've never been sick, and when I need to,
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all that work I put in training for the marathon was a total waste.
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and just run the New York City Marathon?
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Okay, you know what? Prove it.
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Okay, $50.
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Wow. Look at his time. It's pretty impressive.
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and up First Avenue within the next hour or so. But...
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I'm not sure anyone in that story is a winner.
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You're dating a girl from New Jersey?
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I was sitting here, totally minding my own business.
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My legs don't work.
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Best 50 bucks I ever spent.
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Oh, come on. You're not even going to give up your seat for him?
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See? If Barney never tried to run the marathon,
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- So I was able to get you two seats. - Really? That's great!
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and they don't call you back after you spend two nights with them
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I think it was something like Flights R' Us.
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What, you think this is my fault?
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I cannot allow this.
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"It is important to load up on carbohydrates
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That way, no energy is wasted,
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"Don't forget to give yourself plenty of positive reinforcement."
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You are... Marshall.
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including the feet, armpits, or even the nipples.
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Nobody does it better than you.
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And I don't fall down and bite my tongue at the airport.
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"Annual wedding dress blowout.
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but I never knew where it was.
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Oh, Robin, do you have any idea what you guys stumbled onto here?
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Why does it keep turning on?
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I just want to tell my parents I love them one more time.
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So if Lily hadn't dragged me down to the wedding dress store,
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- You did that story on the giant pizzas? - Would you check to see
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Aired 12 years ago - Feb 05, 2007

When a funeral conflicts with the Super Bowl, the gang vows to avoid hearing the score and watch it together on Monday. This proves difficult, as Marshall is threatened with the score by a boy in Lily's class, while doing the news puts Robin in danger of finding out who won.

Aired 12 years ago - Jan 22, 2007

When Ted is constantly insulted by his former boss, who is now working for him on a project, he is told to fire the man, but he finds that a hard thing to do. Meanwhile, Barney offers Lily a lot of money to paint a nude portrait of him.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 1
- Tony. - Angela. - Mona.
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He's an arrogant, washed-up, pain in the ass.
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Vicki, um... I'm so sorry about this,
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You know what? I'm gonna do it.
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If they were to cure cancer tomorrow,
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Wait. If Marshall went to all this trouble to hide it,
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Well, excuse me, for spending the last four hours
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why don't we just, um, step into your office.
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So, you didn't fire him?
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And, uh... I... got you a rose.
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Oh, yes, Robin, I just love new dart.
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Lily wanted to do a nude study for her art class.
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And complicated...
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Are you kidding me? What if somebody sees it?
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I'm destroying it right now.
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Oh, no. Someone put your painting up behind the bar.
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I know that Barney gave you that painting.
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You know, I wish everyone didn't have to make fun of that painting.
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Druthers and I were alone in the office.
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Are you sleeping here? What's going on?
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She's never gonna take me back.
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Happy birthday, buddy.
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- Yeah, I do. - 'Cause I design homes.
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she can provide for me.
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I was this close.
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It's not just a cave, it's a whole labyrinth of caves.
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but in Scotland?
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Paint me.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 35
Yeah, that's not the gland I'm worried about painting.
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If I were a woman, I'd have passed it long, long ago.
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That cabby would not shut up.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 38
and I say we revisit columns.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 39
You didn't hear me?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 40
But that doesn't magically make your bad ideas good.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 41
because I really kind of need you right now.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 42
Now, I like how you captured Marshall's essence.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 43
I don't think your sword will fit.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 44
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Drop your shorts.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 46
Well, I'm going back on the deal. Barney, get out!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 47
I can't let the woman I love compromise her values for money!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 48
And that's how Uncle Barney paid for Lily and Marshall's honeymoon.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 13 (S02E13) - 49
Looking for Hammond Druthers.
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She's giving me the remains of Wolfie?
Aired 12 years ago - Jan 08, 2007

Robin wants to tell Ted that she loves him, but she can't tell him. Meanwhile, her sister visits and brings her boyfriend, and Robin doesn't know how to react when her sister says she's ready to lose her virginity.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 1
I once dated a guy who could only go to the bathroom when classical music was playing.
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No. No. No.
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Oh, you said that. Great.
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You say things!
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Discouraging premarital sex is against my religion.
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And the next day, I took everybody to the Empire State Building.
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There it is. There it is. Come on.
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But I'm so glad I waited to do something so important with my fiancé.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 11
Everyone thinks you should wait. Right, guys?
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I mean, we've already done everything else.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 13
Because if you wait, you can get a nice guy like Ted.
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She should be watching The Little Mermaid and drinking Yoohoo, and not having sex.
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Yeah, Ted, dance. Maybe you've heard of it.
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♪ And if he doesn't answer ♪
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- It was on last night. - No, it was two nights ago.
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Look... I really want to do this, but...
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I'm so glad we're waiting.
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- We said we were sorry. - Yeah, well, then why'd you do it again?
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And it was with my boyfriend Brian.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 24
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You only get one shot at losing your virginity.
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- No, it doesn't. - Yes, it does.
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Scooter?
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But now that's not true anymore--
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Oh, please-- you've had sex with, like, a hundred guys.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 30
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You don't have to explain anything. You don't have to say it-- it's fine.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 32
Because what's in the carpool lane?
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You know what? I take mine back.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 35
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It's a big deal because it rewrites our history.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 37
Excuse me, sir, uh, can you tell me how to get to the Empire State Building?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 38
to lecture you on romantic relationships, but...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 39
But, kids, later that night, Katie did it,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 40
- Dad! - Come on, what really happened?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 41
No. I wouldn't bore you with the seven million man-hours
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'Cause he said he knew I'd find out.
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But I didn't.
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But I didn't.
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I-I would've said anything to make that happen, and...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 46
Oh, oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 47
Only if you put a buttload of Kahlua in it.
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Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 12 (S02E12) - 49
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Aired 12 years ago - Dec 11, 2006

Ted almost ruins Christmas for everyone when, still carrying around anger toward Lily, he calls her a horribly disgusting name. Robin tends to Barney while he has a cold.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 1
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And in almost no time, that spark turned into a roaring fire.
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She doesn't even own a beret.
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The best friend's job is to call me that word?
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You timed that didn't you?
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Are you seriously not going to apologize for leaving that message?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 7
I don't kiss your mother with my mouth.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 8
and I had to get some of it out.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 9
If I wanted that, I would have gone home for the holidays.
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- You're sick. - You know what? I am sick.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 11
Yeah, this is our thing.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 12
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I guess I have to call her, right?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 14
Yeah, the holidays are a rough time for everyone, Billy.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 15
Hey, blame Lily and her oppressive "no cigars in the apartment rule."
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 16
let me tell you about a little thing I like to call mind over body.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 17
play a couple of hours of laser tag,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 18
Um, Lily? Where are the Christmas decorations?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 19
You know that calling people names is mean and hurtful...
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Ah, yeah, but, you know...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 23
and seeing the winter wonderland and seeing Lily and all you guys,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 24
Oh! I got another call.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 25
Are you acting out because of the divorce?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 26
Now, the Native Americans have this ritual...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 27
Don't look at me. I'm hideous.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 28
Too weak... to hold... bowl.
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No, you're not having ice cream for dinner just 'cause you're sick.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 30
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All right, he took it from me.
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I had no right to say that. It was hurtful and immature and I'm sorry.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 33
Because you never apologized to me.
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Fine. I don't want to ruin Christmas.
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Baby, that sucks. I'm so sorry.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 37
We'll spend all day together tomorrow.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 38
Holy crap, the magical Christmas season is upon us.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 39
Ah, naw, I blew that off. I'll get an extension.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 40
but then it got lost and rerouted.
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Too bad I can't deliver all these packages by the end of the day.
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♪ They call me back door Santa ♪
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♪ I make all ♪ ♪ the little girls happy... ♪
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 46
An Easy Bake Oven!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 47
Not really. It's this big and it dispenses gum.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 48
I begged and I begged,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 49
Dude... how was the concert?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 11 (S02E11) - 50
Staten Island.
Aired 12 years ago - Nov 27, 2006

Barney's brother, James (Wayne Brady), visits and Robin, the only one in the group that has never met him, is suprised. But James has a surprise for Barney that he finds difficult to swallow.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 1
Well,boys, you look different because when I was pregnant with you,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 2
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Ted... james is my wingman now.
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But I will say this: Way more back hair than any guy
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 5
Since there was never any crossover in targets,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 6
Oh,I can't see.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 7
Oh,my god, I do!
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Tonight? It's after 9:00 and...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 9
debating whether or not they're going to spend their saturday night
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 10
- Can I get a "woo-woo"? - Woo-woo!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 11
Guy in super tight black t?
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- Cool. - ***************
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and the couples.
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Couples,exhausted by the sheer act of leaving the house,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 16
r couples coma.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 17
Well,why don't you take it off then and let those puppies breathe?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 18
Whatever,you guys have no idea what it's like to be on the receiving end.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 19
Join me in a shot?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 20
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Look at that.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 22
Have you noticed anything... different about james?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 23
Monogamous.
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I hate to be the one to tell you this, but...
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- hey,bro. - Don't change the subject.
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Look,this felt unnatural to me, too,at first.
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Like now everyone gets manicures.
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Barney, I'm sorry you're upset,
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We need to take him out and celebrate the commitment
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You know what?I'm very flattered, and,objectively,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 38
and I appreciate your interest in my body.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 39
You're notchecking[ my boobs or anything.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 40
that the handmade georgian clock has a chip on the corner.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 41
I cannot wait for you to meet tom.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 42
I spy a group of women who have let their defenses down
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 43
Now go,man,go!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 44
ooh,I know what I want to be in the middle of. Thoughts?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 45
and it's never the hot ones. It's always the losers. Bums me out!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 46
Yeah.
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Do you remember why we suit up,james?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 49
It's not too late to back out of this stupid marriage thing!
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 10 (S02E10) - 50
For the rest of your life.
Aired 12 years ago - Nov 20, 2006

Ted and Barney discusses their viewpoints on knowing things about women. Barney thinks that the more you know the more likely you are to find a deal breaker. Ted wants to know the deal breakers right away, as Robin refuses to go to the mall to cover her secret.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 1
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No, it's true. They tell each other everything.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 3
because he's afraid of Sasquatch.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 4
But I already had the toothpaste on the toothbrush.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 5
Our friend Robin used to do porn, wait for it...
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That's not what I'm "hey"ing you about.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 7
numerous fine dining options, and talk about a reasonable--
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Well, I don't know. Whenever I ask her about Canada,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 9
Her wedding cake was a Mrs. Fields' giant cookie.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 10
So you don't think there's any "friend" from Canada?
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Robin was not in porn. I bet you anything that she's married.
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as hard as they possibly can-- but no rings.
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On your tombstone, it will read,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 14
so maybe you should just drop it.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 15
Marshall, you know Marshall. He thinks that the reason
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 16
Nope, I'm not married. Your turn.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 17
It was a mistake and he moved away, but...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 18
and we got married at a mall and we broke up at a mall
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 19
It's just a part of my life I want to forget.
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I can't believe you told us Robin's secret.
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I mean, what kind of boyfriend are you?
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Don't get too cocky, Slappy.
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If I have to sit through one more flat-chested Nova Scotian
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Fine, I won't tell Barney. What is it?
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I-I can't confront her, 'cause then she'll know I told you.
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Honest.
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June. We had a June wedding.
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but the actual dinner was a buffet in the Food Court
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'cause I just love that smooth alto sound.
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- What library? - The one on Fifth.
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See, this is why I don't tell people secrets.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 33
my biggest secret in the world? Five minutes?
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I know Robin was never really married.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 35
Crazy.
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- Barney gets three slaps. - Three?
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and I am about to show it to you right now.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 40
He just emailed me that it will be up and running
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No, Barney, I said we're not watching this.
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I want to stress that I was young.
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Isn't there something I can do to make it up to you?
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What the hell was that?
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# Is what it's all about #
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# Everybody come and play #
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The '80s didn't come to Canada till, like, '93.
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Guys, Robin's rapping.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 9 (S02E09) - 50
Yeah, but the constant fear of knowing that at any moment,
Aired 12 years ago - Nov 13, 2006

Marshall and Lily drag the gang to Atlantic City to elope, and their quest to overcome the three-day wait for a marriage license crosses them with some Chinese gamblers, a ship captain, and a sexy novelty shirt.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 1
You're not just realizing that now, are you?
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Coming up at 11:00: Are there piranhas in the East River?
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It's okay; Mike can read the news tonight.
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I hope not because I plan on getting hammered.
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- Let's go to Atlantic City! - Yeah!
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We're going to Atlantic City to elope right now!
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And something blue. Somebody should really check on this lady.
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Three times, maybe.
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Oh, my God, we're getting married.
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- Yeah? Craps? - Not that nervous.
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- You're not my best man. - Right here.
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And it took us exactly 18 minutes.
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Oh, God, the things people waste money on in Atlantic City.
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Hi. We're here to get married.
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Well, sure. In Vegas, the casinos pump in oxygen.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 18
or play a round of keno, I can't help you.
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They choose Atlantic City for its white sand beaches,
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In some extreme circumstances, the waiting period can be waived,
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God, this is taking forever.
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No! I wasn't.
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...suit up.
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Oh, really?!
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'Cause you're on Candid Camera!
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What?
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Um, also...?
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Yeah, glad we dodged that bullet.
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May we please get married today?
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That little look. What was that?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 34
Lily totally ran off to San Francisco and these two just had sex in the closet.
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Oath. We're under it.
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A ship captain can marry us.
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- I should go talk to her. - No, let me.
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Because... if we don't do it today,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 39
I'm gonna find a ship captain and we're gonna be married tonight.
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So, captain, can you take us out to international waters and marry us?
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 8 (S02E08) - 41
Chinese guys have been coming up and saying hi to me?
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Actually, it wasn't so small. I...
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I swear it, nay...
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Barney, split your tiles. You can triple your money if you find the jellybean.
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God, I love gambling!
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Oh, I think... serious would be best.
Aired 12 years ago - Nov 06, 2006

Marshall goes on his first real date post-breakup with Lily. Not only do Ted and Barney try to warn him that this girl has got the crazy eyes, but Lily decides to do everything she can to find out about this her and break them up. Also, Barney gets a new name.

Aired 12 years ago - Oct 23, 2006

Barney seduces Marshall's law professor in hopes of getting her to grade more leniently. Lily takes a job at Ted's office, where she promptly steals to teach Ted's boss a lesson.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 1
Ted, didn't you tell me they need a new assistant in your office?
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Dude, that is cold-blooded.
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Oh, now you're gonna bash her figure. Real classy, Ted.
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Why, thank you.
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Well, my six-year-old nephew plays with Legos.
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- Think you can handle that? - Absolutely.
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See, you can identify a cougar by a few key characteristics.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 11
The cougar displays maximum cleavage possible
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Yeah, this one's a beaut.
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a savage, man-eating jungle cat,
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Scusi, I am Luigi, Italian exchange student.
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What I want... is you.
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And that building? Talk about overcompensating.
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He's a legend. I'm just part of his team.
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I just pulled an all-nighter!
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Then he stared at me until I laughed.
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from a thicket of wild, ungroomed, brunette shrubbery.
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My baseball signed three times by Pete Rose.
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Inspiring as always, sir.
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I lost my ice cream!
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I would take away one of his toys.
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This sales guy was rude to Robin,
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Druthers just thinks someone stole his ball.
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this prolonged nervous breakdown you're clearly having,
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I'd ask you how last night went, but we had a pop quiz today.
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Tonight, I'm seeing her again.
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Although that would explain a lot.
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I'll go in, grab the note, put the ball back.
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Who wants espresso?
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"Dear Mr. Druthers, I, your baseball, am leaving.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 39
but maybe that's the wrong reaction here.
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major league baseball's all-time hit leader,
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People are going to get fired.
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Then you're fired.
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Do you not see the PowerBar in my hand?
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But you don't understand. See, I've been going easy on you,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 46
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You might say that Lily was mentally deranged.
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Oh! That's a bit harsh, don't you think, Ted?
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Ladies and gentlemen, I give you
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 6 (S02E06) - 50
with the male organ of love.
Aired 12 years ago - Oct 16, 2006

Marshall tries to get used to being single in a world that is very coupled-oriented. Barney intended one-night-stand won't go away. Barney uses Lily to get out of his "horrifying" situation. Lily finds a place to stay.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 1
Oh,and P. To the S.,I never got my payout from seattle from two weeks ago.
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But earlier today,I was getting ready to go to sleep and...
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Look around you,lily.
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is something some lame,judgmental chick would say,
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Had to ship it over in a tugboat like freakin' king kong.
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Brad.
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I'm sorry,man. That sucks.
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girly.
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We're here. We're hungry. Get used to it,brunch.
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- Don't change anything? - And what was the second rule?
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But I don't want to be in a relationship.
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Bienvenido to the bedroom.
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And the coup de grace...
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While guys like ted and marshall may hide their porn,I had mine...
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I never have to tell her to go build her nest somewhere else.
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Right?
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Anyway,I was gonna take kara, but now it's all you and me.
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No,I've just been watching you sleep.
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You may as well drink the tears of a colombian peasant farmer.
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Wow,you're open about your sexuality and that's one of the reasons I love you.
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oh,my god. Are you married? Is this your wife?
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She was freakishly immune to everything in my apartment... except you.
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- I'll do it. - Really?
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- Mamma mia? - Mamma mia.
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You bros going to get dinner beforehand?
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You two are just threatened because I'm a single guy moving in on your couples' turf.
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- Lily,I can explain... - how could you?
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I was just about to turn on the tears.
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You know... nah,never mind.
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this world is going crazy
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you got some chocolate on your chin.
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No,I-I can do it,brad. Okay,thank you.
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Walt whitman suite,bro.
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I just miss her so much.
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I'm sorry. It's not funny anymore.
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And now you have to do what every dysfunctional couple has to do:
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Oh.
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Okay,seriously, what do you do for a living?
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But when he got there...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 5 (S02E05) - 48
Um,brad got me flowers.
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I don't know how you knew that. I guess you just get me,but this is not cool,man.
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Aired 12 years ago - Oct 09, 2006

After Ted and Robin's first big fight, Barney tries to convince Ted that being an architect is an easy in to picking up chicks. Lily and Robin start following his trail after discovering that Ted hit it off with a girl named Anna shortly afterward.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 1
How do you not like Field of Dreams?!
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Then at the end of the movie when he has a catch with his dad, like...
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This gonna be another one of your weird all-guy parties?
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There's nobody hotter than God.
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Ted Mosby, architect.
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There's enough of me for everyone.
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- Yes, she did. - Mm-hmm.
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Carl, do you really want to be with a woman
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And what made you decide you wanted to become an architect?
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Well, I could try, but you might end up looking like a midcentury tri-level.
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Ted got to vent and I don't have to hear it.
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you're supposed to freak out.
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from Columbia Law School,
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That guy went on to become a Supreme Court justice.
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He was with a guy named Ted.
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I would love to watch the sun rise with you.
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I didn't want to ruin the party for everybody this early, but, uh...
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 21
'Cause if not, New York state law, you're not obligated
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Guys, can we cease and desist with the lawyer speak for a minute?
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That's our attorney general.
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over Ted and, uh... oh, what tasteful way did you describe her?
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I mean, I was going to design a cathedral tonight,
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Dancing? He went dancing with this girl?
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Yeah, think of another way to phrase that and you'll be fine.
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Uh, okay. Bye.
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One's about six-four, 210, sandy brown hair.
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That's cool. You keep that.
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That is one hell of a non sequitur.
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You proved it, all right? The whole Ted Mosby, architect things works.
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You know this girl. Where does she live?
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Bitch is lucky I brought my small purse.
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Okay, get in there and kick some spankable ass.
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Get in there and beat Ted up.
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Okay, I'm totally lost here. Where's Ted?
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Whoo, looks like things just got a little foxier right here.
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Okay, you were right-- the architect thing totally works.
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All right, you proved it. The whole Ted Mosby, architect thing works.
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We did it right here, and here and here.
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Look at me. I'm acting crazy and jealous and paranoid.
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And thus ended this chapter of, "Let's pour our hearts out
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 4 (S02E04) - 47
Something with a "A."
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She thought about how opening yourself up to another person
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# But here I dreamt I was an architect... # Hey.
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It was... fine. Nothing exciting.
Aired 12 years ago - Oct 02, 2006

Ted's parents visit New York for their anniversary and he learns a family secret. Robin worries that they won't like her. Lily and Marshall try to adjust to the new format of their relationship now that they are no longer together.

Aired 12 years ago - Sep 25, 2006

Barney works with Marshall on his bachelor skills, which include hitting on women. Lily is back from her venture. Robin helps her look for a new apartment but gets sick of hearing about San Francisco.

Aired 12 years ago - Sep 18, 2006

The gang tries to help Marshall get over Lily, especially when he finds a credit card bill that leads to a hotel in New York City where some of her charges are listed.

Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 1
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Lily always made the pancakes.
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- Beer. - No, that's what you had for dinner.
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He got that redheaded tumor removed.
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Anyway, Lily's the one who caused this whole mess.
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Teddy Bear.
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I was dating the woman of my dreams, and things were going great.
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Somehow, erotic and comforting all at the same time.
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He's calling her.
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Like she's so special.
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Ted, we just started dating.
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He slept on our floor last night, Ted.
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The average male brain can only store a finite number of boob images or "b-pegs".
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 17
so we begin here tonight, my friend.
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Yankee fans, please turn your attention to the Diamond Vision for a special
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 19
She's just going to break your heart.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 20
Eat Haagen-Dazs and watch Love Actually, till your periods sync up.
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Whenever I'm feeling lonely or depressed, I come here,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 22
Whoa, that sounded kind of scary with me holding a gun, didn't it?
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- Yeah, yeah! - Well, congratulations.
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Wow, must be a nice house, I've seen pictures of your uncle.
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if you need anything day or night, just call me--
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No!
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August 10th, one charge: Tennis Emporium.
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What a perfect place to whore around.
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You know, Marshall tried to get me to play tennis for nine years,
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 31
but Marshall had this secret phobia of ferrets.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 32
# Ow, we want the funk. #
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 33
You can see credit card activity from, like, two hours ago.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 34
There's a charge from earlier today: the Kellett Hotel on 5th.
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That's really the only reason I've been able to hold it together so far this summer.
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20 bucks.
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- You call her... - We were together...
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That's how long it took me to get right about here.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 40
You know who might have a shot somewhere down the line.
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I didn't say a thing.
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- Do you know how many people... - The Second Amendment...
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We're at a fundraiser, helping young women raise money for community college.
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I can't believe this. He's gonna go down to that hotel.
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A really nice one.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 47
and I had this little speech in my head--
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I know, I know. I'm sorry.
Recap of How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 1 (S02E01) - 50
Th-That's good news, right?